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I keep getting triggered by news stories related to my obsessive thoughts. I was feeling ok for a few days but now I'm spiralling again because of the news.

During ERP, we learn not to analyze thoughts, not to analyze feelings, obstacles, ideas, commands... because it's all an intrusion and not real. However, it's too difficult for me, because every time a picture comes out, it's all detailed and even with a sound in my head, or an urge, or an idea... to "leave" it like that and I don't come back... is that the case with anyone else? and does it ever pass? Thanks in advance

I was told that this illness that im having now(some say its some kind of covid) is attacking people where they are the most sensitive, so it got my mental health and at first it was the fear of my health which im starting to face but now it got deeper and i have feelings of hopelessness and like a depressed feelings and thoughts like things wont get better. And i dont know where this comes from, im afraid this is actually what i believe. Dont know if its ocd or the illness actually made these problem come up what was pushed away by me... When i have these feelings my first reaction is fear and i dont know if its something i shouldnt give attention or the fear is actually bad and it makes me avoid the problem, so i should work on this depression... I dont know whats happening but its scarry and i dont like these dark thoughts. I think i suffer more because of the fear and shame of these thoughts but again i dont know if the fear and shame shows me that i dont need to give attention to these thoughts or the fear and shame actually blocks me to deal with these thoughts and feelings...

I’ve been doing okay, I’ve been a bit emotionally numb honestly. I’m stressed, tired, and just ugh. I was talking to my bf about exs and he was making a joke. An immediate comeback came into my head and for a second it felt fine. I was smirking. I felt like I was about to say this. It was a terribly mean thing that attacks things he’s told me in confidence that he’s insecure about. A comment comparing him to an ex. He saw when it hit me because I was genuinely too shocked for it to not be apparent. I had such a strong urge to confess, but I couldn’t because it was *so mean*. He’s been numb too and we honestly seem to hate each other in a loving way, and that’s somehow comforting. So, he pushed me to confess out of curiosity. I ended up telling him. He didn’t care but I’m still in so much distress. Had it been a moment where he wasn’t apathetic, had it been then and I spoke without thinking, I’m sure he would’ve cared, I know it would’ve hurt him. I feel so shocked at the cruelty my mind creates. I don’t even know if this was intrusive because I energized and felt good until a few seconds later when it felt like I got ice water thrown at me from the shock. I genuinely could’ve said this and I know there’s no point in dwelling on it now but it’s still so scary. I can’t seem to breathe properly right now. I feel so panicked. I haven’t had a panic attack in almost a week. My brain is a bully. I don’t want it to be apart of me. I feel so awful for having that thought and I feel like I’m drowning.

looked up some controversy involving a youtuber that received allegations & one of those involved minors. you already know. what did I do? submit to a compulsion and tried to compare the doings of that youtuber to mine. checking to see if I had done the same thing. then overthinking about a lot of things. read one sentence of a comment and immediately felt a flare up. had to close the website I was using (reddit) to calm down before my mind gave me horrible thoughts. I am tired of this. like I know what I like: adults. specifically older men. YET WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP REPEATING SO MANY THINGS TO MYSELF??? WHY DO I ARGUE SO MUCH WHEN DEEP DOWN I KNOW WHO I AM???? why me?

I understand trying to find comfort in your thoughts but what can i do if i can’t keep these thoughts to myself sometimes?

No matter what task I’m doing. If I have an intrusive thought I have to redo the task or just just completely move on to something else. I’m Christian and I struggle with scrupulosity. I feel like I have to repeat task to keep everyone safe. I’m tired of this. I know ERP is the key and I have to stand up to the thoughts but they are just so scary. I know God is with me and I’m suppose to have faith but again I’m just so scared. I can’t even fully go into detail about my theme because I don’t want to type it out. I’m in therapy and I’m told to lean into the discomfort but it just seems like an impossible thing for me to do.

Not gonna lie, I am in fact feeling a little bit melancholy at the moment, and it’ll pass, and it’s probably because i didn’t get enough sleep. But here’s the thing, there’s been a ton of changes in my life recently, and a lot of upheaval, and it’s been a very difficult time. It’s part OCD, part current events, part changes in my life. I graduated college, so I lost my classes and counseling there (and I still have NOCD, and my therapist is wonderful, and I could not have gotten through this OCD episode without her, but my counselor at my college helped me through some more of the general stuff in my life, and she was wonderful and she really supported me). I had to leave my part-time job I worked at for three years, and I’m still searching for one. My OCD spiked really bad over these last few months, my mental health plummeted, and it hasn’t been helped at all by the horrible winter weather where I live. Because the weather has been so bad and I live with my family in an isolated rural area, I haven’t been able to go to any social groups, even though they said alumni can still attend. It’s hard leaving the house because the weather seems to change on a dime, so I’m stuck inside more often than not. On top of that, there’s everything that’s happening around the world right now. I genuinely don’t know what’s going to happen. I have not felt like myself in months. A big part of that is the OCD, which i really don’t think would have been as bad if it weren’t for all of these huge changes happening all at once, leaving me isolated and stuck inside. My self-esteem has been absolutely shattered. There are video games I love and want to finish that I haven’t been able to bring myself to play because I worry that if I play them while I’m still going through OCD episodes, I’ll always associate them with the anxiety and thoughts and fears, and then I’ll never be able to play them again. I love writing, and before my OCD came back, I had a story I was working on that I adored and that made me so happy, but right now, I hesitate to write anything for it because I just feel this strange sense of guilt that I don’t know how to put into words. Like I’m not worthy or good enough to write anything for it, I guess? Like I wrote all that stuff when I felt like a good person and my self-esteem was better, and because of my OCD making me feel like a horrible person, I can’t bring myself to write anything for it. There are movies I loved to watch over my last semester at college that I don’t want to watch because I guess I don’t want to ruin my last memory of them. I don’t want to look back on the last time I watched a movie I loved and remember that I watched it while I was anxious and fighting off the OCD. There are songs I can’t bring myself to listen to because I listened to them before major changes in my life. And the thing is, all of these things are still there. None of these things suddenly stopped existing. They’re still there when I want to get back to them, but I don’t feel the same as I was when I was doing these things, and it’s hard to bring myself to, when I almost feel like I’m intruding, or ruining the last memory I had of those things. I guess it’s just hard to see that this difficult part of my life does have an end to it and that things will improve, and i’ll feel like myself again. It just feels like my life will always be separated before the most recent OCD episode, and after, and that’s not what I want. And I can’t go back to my last semester at college, but I also don’t want to lose or throw away everything I used to love. Part of this could very well be nostalgia. I just miss who I used to be. I miss feeling like I was a good person who deserved nice things, I miss writing stories I love, I miss having classes and social events and a job and income. I miss my mind being safe to exist in. I miss not wishing I was anyone else. All of this might be easier to deal with except that all of this happening at the same time has left me at absolute rock bottom. I’m not sure if any of this makes any sense or if anyone has any thoughts? I think writing it all down helped a little, though. If you made it this far, thank you for reading 😊❤️ I hope whatever you’re going through gets better, and that you have a great day/night.

So recently i had really obsessive thoughts about something and once i got over it i kept bringing back more stuff to make myself feel like a bad person. Why am i doing this? Why do i need to look for something else to burden someone with once they have forgiven me

Hi all! I am on Zoloft 100mg and I was hoping to get some feedback! My biggest fear is being suicidal and sometimes I’m like checking to see if I am suicidal on the medication but then I think maybe it’s my ocd. My doctor wants to go higher but I’m wondering if this is a good idea based on my thoughts. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Or thought-stopping, or suppression. I'm new-ish to OCD treatment and recovery, and I understand and believe that I'm living with this condition, but I still don't *get* it sometimes. I don't immediately click with what other people are describing. For example, when my therapist suggests using mindfulness techniques like naming something in my environment for each sense (something I see in this room, something I hear in this moment, etc), I'm thinking, "is this thought-stopping?" because I'm using the technique to get out of an obsessive spiral and redirecting my attention outward. Isn't that a good thing? Is it thought-suppression *every* time I try to change the subject in my mind? How would you describe "thought neutralizing" mental compulsions to someone who doesn't get it? (ie me lol)

I got a virus, alot of people is sick now, this is another bog virus, i dont know the name, but i talked someone who told me that its normal that this virus attacks your nervous system, and brings up the things we are the most sensitive. I wrote a post before that i had really scary thoughts about maybe i will die tomorrow or i can die anyday, i feel like thats was a sign of that cause now im finding myself being so sensitive about this and also im afraid of depression, suicidal thoughts and feeling hopeless. The biggest problem is that i dont know how to label them,if i say maybe im actually dealing with depression, and i need to work on these dark thoughts then i feel anxious and freak out that im having depression and deep thoughts and then feel shame cause i use fear to hide from a problem which i should take seriously, but if i say its not true, i feel like im lying and not working on my mental health... but these dark hopeless feelings feel so real and the thoughts too, and i know this sounds really ocdish cause everyone says this, but it doesnt feel like the ocd symptoms i have. It seems like ocd is more about me not accepting that im depressed or feeling hopeless which makes me feel guilt more cause that sounds like i just dont want to accept that im actually depressed. Im really afraid that these thoughts and feeling means i have an actual problem, and im actually going through depression. My ocd can be about depression too but i heard from someone that many people with ocd doesnt want to accept that they are depressed and thats the problem, so this makes me feel bad that i have to accept that this is an actual problem. Also with grief, i have a fear over grief cause i think i cant deal with it, and i always has thoughts like "you didnt grieved well" and it makes me really sad and afraid that i will never get out of grief... Whatever i do i feel stuck cause if i accept im going through depression and these thoughts are something i need to work on i just feel worse... I dont know what should i do about this, view it as something i need to work on or its just ocd and the illness getting me where im the most sensitive...

I used to write everything that happened with me on daily basis. It can be any type of information like about my conversation with friends or family or what I eat, what someone did to me, bad experiences but I was doing It excessively. I used to write everything to conserve every type of memory which doesn't Even important for me. Like I couldn't resist my self to write about all bus journeys or all restaurants that I have been. But about 2 months ago I destroyed my notes and my anxiety skyrocketed for 1 week. I couldn't even move from my bed due to thoughts that came in my mind. But after talking with my friends my anxiety decreased for somedays but again many thoughts around this revolved in my head. Like will I remember what I'm doing in college life in future, will I remember my memories with my parents or grandmother or will I remember about all my experiences that I have experienced from childhood like my trips etc. I know that it doesn't sound that serious but it is affecting me very severely. I am not able to enjoy my life due to these thoughts and most of the time I feel sad and depressed. Can anyone help me about this?

Im basically still a child, but have been an adult in the eyes of the government for 2 years. Then I made my grand escape away from home, broke but determined to be set free for the hell I was living. I’ve talked about it on another post but I’m a survivor of childhood s*xual assault. I’m too scared to cut my family off 100% because of like Stockholm syndrome I guess? But whenever I interact with them, good or bad, I find my ocd flare ups to be way more often. Like the intrusive thoughts that haunt me about sex and about my relationships consume me when I think of talk to my family. Is anyone here no contact with their family? How did you work through this. WAITTTTTT!!! Please take this capybara eating a watermelon on a stick for your travels.

Hi all, I’m brand new to this app. I’ve never had any mental disorders. I’ve never been diagnosed or even suspected that I had some kind of issue going on. But recently my partner gently pointed out to me that I’ve developed some weird tendencies that are progressively getting worse. I’m getting overly anxious about the smallest of things. Every time he leaves for work, I stare at the tracker on my phone until he gets through his 25 minute commute because I’m convinced there will be a wreck. I’m terrified that someone is constantly taking pictures of me through my windows and even feel like people can see through my (solid) blinds at night. Every time I hear someone in the hallway of my apartment complex I stare out the peephole because I’m convinced they’re going to break in, even if it’s a neighbor that I recognize. I check myself for lumps in my body every morning and every night, and my partner too, even though neither of us have any scary medical history. I unplug everything with a cord every night before I go to bed because I’m terrified that something is faulty and my apartment will catch on fire. I am constantly afraid of being sued by people I don’t know even though the worst thing I’ve ever done is gotten a speeding ticket. I have dreams that people are sending me threatening mail and it stops me from opening my actual mail. There are so many more, I could go on forever. Writing it all down, I know it’s stupid. I just don’t know if feeling this way is normal. There are people out there that have actual stressors and here I am working myself up a million times a day over nothing. Do normal people feel like this? I thought it was normal.

I was good with my themes kinda, and then I felt the ocd switch so that was expected. But this one feels different, since my ocd I’ve been more accepting of gay people, I believe in God and that he created life and people as they are, and don’t believe that it’s necessarily wrong to be gay, but my boyfriend believes that being gay is a sin, he’s not discriminating or disrespectful to anyone. He has never let it impact the way it treats anyone like ever. This topic has only come up in conversation like twice in the 4 years we’ve been together and both times it was while I had soocd so it felt super sensitive to talk about. But now, I’m grasping more with seeing him as his own person again and not comfort for my ocd, so my ocd is clinging onto this one difference between us and it truly feels now like this is a dealbreaker, even though this has never impacted our relationship together at all. It wouldn’t impact the way we raise our kids or treat other people but just the fact that he thinks that makes me ocd think it’s enough that I’ll want to find someone else with the same view as me. I know deep down I don’t want to break up because when I’m not focused on this flaw, I feel happy and in tune with him. Does anyone have any advice ?:(

This happened multiple times, I see someone, I think of them something, and then they die after a while Im afraid that I might caused them evil eye or something For example once I saw this famous monkey on instagram and thought “wow is it still alive?” Then it died days later and the owner was crying saying that the vets didn’t know what caused its death since it was fine ☹️ I immediately thought maybe it was because of me This happened to other people too, like celebrities or people I know them in my circle, I kinda feel responsible for it and Im afraid it might develop into deep guilt

How do I stop letting my intrusive thoughts control me? Ive been having them for almost a year, once I graduated, become more isolated and lost more friends they've become worse. I feel like when I had friends and was still going to school they weren't as bad probably because I was living more so I didn't take them as seriously. But now that Im home all day and alone they've gotten worse and it feels like they're starting to control my life. Theres times where Im on social media and eventually I forget about them but then when I realize I forgot about them they come back. Sometimes the thought just lingers it doesn't even just pop in my head and go away. I can't tell anyone in my family because they'd judge me for the thoughts and they don't really believe in mental illnesses. I also sometimes think of what other people may think of me if they knew the thoughts I had and it makes it worse. How do I stop letting these thoughts control/trigger me and stop reacting or feeling some type of way about them.

I feel like I dont have control of what I say in my head that I feel like it's not me saying those things. I was trying to pray and I was cursing at God and the spirit and now I'm scared because I feel like it's me and not an intrusive thought. I have an appointment later and I was trying to pray about that in my head but now that I did that I feel like things will go wrong .

My ocd gets so loud in the silence and right before bed when there’s no distractions. I always struggled with anxiety since my teens and guided meditation used to help… until OCD. First time trying guided meditation with OCD I had an intrusive thought of “what if you actually lose control and can’t follow these instructions?” And got even more anxious 🫠🫠🫠 had to stop, and haven’t tried to meditate ever since. Just curious to know. Sometimes I feel like I have the worst type of OCD. It will latch onto anything to make me anxious!