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Does anybody have time to talk

I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.

i’m locked in my bathroom because I am so sad that I can’t stop my intrusive thoughts and ever since I watched the menendez brothers series i can’t stop having these intrusive thoughts that I would like to hurt my parents and that I would like to go to jail which is not true but my mind makes me think its totally true that I will not be happy if i’m not in jail I feel so sad I want to disappear

TW: mentions of S3xu@l @buse Like the title said I had a really horrible dream of my abuser performing oral sex on me. And Inside the dream I kept having the same feelings I had the day he abused me. I had also the same feelings I have when my OCD attacks. The thing is my brain kept trying to switch his imagury of that of a woman (which is way more pleasing) still I remember his face and I woke up with a lot of anxiety and disgust. I honestly hated it I know OCD can affect dreams I just hope this doesn't become recurring... I really don't know what to say anymore. I didn't enjoy it but my OCD keeps trying to say I did. I think this is the worse part of it really.

Today we’ll like last night I had a dream and in the dream someone said something to me and it’s triggering my thoughts like reinforcing them. It basically meant I somehow acted on the thoughts. Did I do something in my sleep or something I’m so scared. My thoughts don’t even involve other people so I mean it is possible but how come I don’t remember or anything. Also in the dream someone described something to me by comparing it to a certain food and I’ve never had that food and now I never want to have it because it’s so triggering. It literally was rhe worst thing ever and I was doing fine until that happened. It was so inappropriate and like my actions in the dream were fine I remember in the dream I was walking and then I passed out and woke up and saw this person but what the person did and said in the dream is triggering me. Is this a sign that something is going to happen or something? Why else would I get the dream?

Was looking for lingerie to wear when my boyfriend comes over in a few days, I saw a dress and thought "oh easy access" and then seconds after had a super frustrating and gross thought about POCD.. then convinced myself i actually wasn't thinking about my boyfriend when i saw the dress, and that i was thinking about a child intimately. i feel disgusting, i cannot stop trying to trace back the thought of whether i was thinking about my boyfriend or a child, and i feel so nasty. i'm incredibly stressed, i want to shower and wash my body because that's my compulsion for POCD, but i've showered 6 times already today and i really just want to lay in bed. i feel disgusting though. i know it was only a mental thought, but it makes me feel disgusting physically. i know this is ocd, i know i'm just having ocd, but with POCD it feels real and disgusting. i truly don't know if i was thinking about my boyfriend, i mean the only reason i was shopping for lingerie was to think about what he'd think i'd look good in, and then that thought after seeing the dress happened and now i'm so disturbed. here's how it went down after ruminating way too much scrolled down past a dress, had a bad thought about pocd as i was scrolling back up to it after thinking easy access, and now i'm convinced i wanted to buy that dress after having a POCD thought about it. i REALLY just want to shower and change clothes and feels clean again, but i know that's a compulsion

I overanalyse everything my boyfriend does or says. If he’s joking around and just being playful it really annoys me and triggers me. It makes me anxious because I feel out of control. What if he doesn’t stop being playful when I want to go back to being serious? I don’t know. Maybe this isn’t even ocd! But I love his personality and he is a great person, I just can’t keep obsessing over everything. He does or says something that isn’t quite perfect and my brain starts to overthink and say ‘maybe a good person wouldn’t do that’ or ‘does this mean maybe he’s not good?’ That was so hard to write because he is genuinely such a good person and treats me so well 😩😩 I feel so guilty for having these thoughts. It’s like everything has to fit into a neat little box. If he does something that annoys me, I immediately think we are incompatible and I shouldn’t be with him. I always think I’m lying to myself. I sometimes think what If someone else was looking at my relationship and could see every interaction we had and thought it was bad but I can’t see it and I’m lying to myself. I would feel so stupid. Honestly at this point, I don’t know whether he actually annoys me and that’s a sign we shouldn’t be together or it’s my brain wanting every little thing to be ‘just right.’ But how to tell the difference because I could be easily lying to myself because I like the idea of having someone in my life. I 100% know I love him as a person, I love being with him, we get on very well, it’s just my intrusive thoughts that ruin everything. Or are they intrusive thoughts? Why do some things he does or say trigger me? Surely that must mean things aren’t good? That sounded so ridiculous to write. I’m so confused. I guess I just wanted to write my thoughts out so they made sense, and see if anyone else has felt similar. 🙏🏻

I'm so scared that by thinking about things I can make them happen. I know that's a central thing in OCD but I googled it and a lot of people actually say that if you think about stuff you can make it happen. I've been processing a lot of trauma and having intrusive thoughts about it and I'm so scared that if I think about people who hurt me it will make them contact me and it's making me feel really paranoid and scared and panic and I'm just so scared that I'm somehow conjuring bad people to come into my life and that I'm going to somehow get sucked back into my past or that I am somehow calling people close to me who could hurt me or that something bad is going to happen to me because my thoughts have been so scary and triggering. I'm also feeling really dissociated and I'm worried that these thoughts are actually me starting to have some sort of a psychotic break or something. Please help I'm so scared.

I read an article on NOCD. It was triggering. In article she mentioned having so-ocd. She mentioned so-ocd often gets misunderstood and that she had internalized homophobia. She also mentioned being ill-informed on her values. This has distressed me so much. It’s made me question what if I don’t have so-ocd. I also did an exposure. I was watching a YouTube video called signs I missed growing up that I was a lesbian. In the video she mentioned being infatuated with her friends that were girls. I felt like when I met a new friend I would obsess over them. Then she mentioned being uncomfortable in lockers rooms when they had to change and I remember feeling uncomfortable. She also mentioned having dreams with girls and liking it. Last night I had a dream that I was having sex with my best friend and that I liked it. I am married and have a 6 month old and have a fear of losing my husband.

I have this phobia of sleepwalking and doing something bad without me realising. Las night something happened that made me think I could've sleep walked and do something horrible. I woke up at like 4 am wanting to go to pee so I got up normally and before I reached the bathroom I had a bad intrusive thought of doing harm but I just tried to ignore it. After I left the bathroom I went straight to my room and fell asleep almost immediately. However this morning when I woke up my dad asked me why I left the kitchen cabinets open and took out a pack of napkins. I froze and felt my blood turn cold when I heard that because there are knives in those drawers. I told him that maybe he took them out and don't remember but he said he didn't do that and never got up during the night. I asked everyone else that was here last night and they said they didn't do that either. Now i'm here literally shaking, feeling like losing my mind and crying histerically because first thing I thought was that I slept walked after having that intrusive thought and opened the kitchen cabinets to take out a kn*ife to do something horrible. I am absolutely terrified if that happened, I clearly don't remember doing that, I only remember going to the bathroom, peeing and going back to the bedroom right away. This couldn't have hapened right?! I would remember if I had slept walked and did that, right?! I don't have a history of sleep walking in the past, as far as I know. I have no explanation to this incident and I feel like i'm about to have a nervous breakdown and feel like I need to find out what really happened yes or yes or I will not be able to cope. Someone please help?!!

So ever since I was little now that I think about it I might have had ocd I would had what some would call rocd and have intrusive thoughts like I hate god or I sold my soul obviously being a kid I didn't know what ocd was cause I always thought it was about organization and etc but everytime I would have to do mental compulsion like everytime I got a thought like that I had to ask for forgiveness I eventually stopped as I got older and now I would call myself an agnostic but at the start of this year I started having intrusive thoughts about harming myself and others after I was having bad panic attack every day due to stress I obviously could tell I was not doing okay so started researching and found out about schizophrenia(worst thing I have ever done)my brain automatically went hyperaware of everything,every sound,vision etc also scared that I would go insane and hurt someone so anytime I would hear something or see anything I would get terrified thinking I could be hallucinating I remember even getting my mom to take me to the hospital it was so bad even tried to go to the 7th floor which is the floor for mentally ill patients but they just brushed it off and said it was probably due to anxiety so fast forward I start seeing a doctor he also said he didn't think I was schizophrenic after telling him a he prescribed me medication ssri 100mg He started actually doing better got another job and started doing well I still had the thoughts and fear of schizophrenia but didn't bother me that's when I had the thought what if my brother is trying to kill me that's when it spiraled with these thoughts having paranoid thoughts about what if people are plotting against me and not what ifs but they are but I 1000000000% don't believe them and know that's crazy no one is plotting or trying to hurt me but I became obsessed with this new thought and the new theme switched,I mean technically the same theme cause it is the fear of schizophrenia but the thoughts changed I guess probably because I researched so much about schizophrenia now I'm even more scared I'm becoming schizophrenic cause these paranoid thoughts worry me because I start to think what if I believe them like I know I don't but what if I do,I always see that schizophrenic are paranoid about this and I know I don't believe them but it's like my mind is always thinking about it I mean I could literally be walking outside,shopping,doing whatever I'm doing see someone and have the thought there plotting against me or trying to kill me and I'm like what noooooo what the hell who thinks that,a schizophrenic of course and I have to constantly research everyday my symptoms of paranoid thinking and it's hard because I hear everybody else relate to being scared of developing it but mine really does like I'm having actual paranoid thoughts that again I know is insane and not true I even got a therapist she also said she doesn't believe I have it but trauma she didn't say anything about ocd though so it's like what is it then schizophrenia these thoughts just distress me so much cause what if I start believing them and they feel so real cause most people have what ifs mine are they are but I still 1000000% don't believe them

I’m really scared to talk about this but I feel like it’s bothering me so much right now. Idk what started my groinal responses but I realized that they’ve been going on for a long time. This whole thing is weird idek if it is a groinal response or if i’m trying to trick myself, but the only thing i’m sure about is that I hate it so much and I pray everyday that it goes away. So I noticed everytime I get excited or happy I start feelings stuff down there. Like I remember when I used to take care and sleep with my baby neice while her mom was at work. I swaddled her up and layed her next to me and just seeing how small she looked, I felt like I was a mom. But, just the feeling of taking care of her like i was her mom made me feel something down there. When I noticed it I was like wtf… why do i feel that. Ik for a fact that im not attracted to kids but why did i feel that. It happens alot when I spoil my neice and nephews, like i was at the store today and I saw pajamas that I knew my neice would like and then I was like shes gonna look so adorable in this and then I get that feeling again. Idk what it is. Idk i really dont know I hate it so much. She doesn’t deserve this.

I was doing fine and right now I’m ok but I still have this mental anxiety. Basically I keep seeing images when I’m in the bathroom of me putting the paper on my mouth or face. It’s so gross. I can’t get the image out of my head. It’s based on a true event like I really did go to the bathroom but I didn’t do that I know I didn’t because I checked my face and my mouth after there was nothing there no drops of anything and I didn’t even lift my hand to do something like that. Also in the moment I didn’t have anxiety but as soon as I washed my hands and stepped out of the bathroom how come I got anxiety and images then? Well actually I didn’t have some anxiety during but the thing is I’ve been paranoid about using the bathroom for a few days now so every time I go I get scared. Actually not every time it’s only really specific times. I don’t understand any of this if anyone has any answers please help me. This even affects me when I shower and it’s ruining my life.

I’m afraid to move my tongue to a scary intrusive thought that I’m terrified by. I’m hyper focusing about my tongue all day. And I’m trying to check if I’m moving my tongue. Like when I’m thinking about a thought I’m hyper focus on my mouth and I feel like I move my tongue to the thought even though I’m not.I can feel my tongue and I’m going crazy. I feel anxious and can’t focus on anything else I feel like do it to get rid of the thought is my only chance I hate it

Hello everyone! I’m from Italy and I’ve been in talking therapy from 2018. Been diagnosed with OCD in spring 2022 after years of crazy suffering (themes like religious and scrupolosity OCD, main theme POCD which brought me into depression and desperation. Nothing got better of course in the talking therapy). In summer 2022 I started being on Zoloft + informed myself with content on instagram that helped me SO much in making things better. So I decided to choose a behavioral-oriented specialist in ocd. Found one, started the treatment in summer 2023. The thing is, that we are not really doing ERP as I know it from online info. His explanation of OCD is that it comes from not being able to take a strong position in your life, in several things (indeed, I am a big people pleaser). So we are working on me being more able to stand for myself, which is good, and I see improvement. Also in obsessions. But then, when sometimes obsessions come back, I feel immediately the guilt of “ok so where didn’t I take my position”, because he’s usually telling me that obsessive episodes reappear in periods in which I’m not taking my position (and this would lead to trusting less myself, so obsessions come). But this seems to me to differ from all of the content that I find online. Also, he’s not really providing me help for what to do when I have the obsessions, or how to deal with harder exposing situations in which I find myself in my daily life. So in those occasions, I just try to manage by myself with the information I have. Can some specialized therapist tell me if this explanation/therapy is harmful for ocd, or if it’s fine? I’ve been questioning myself about this for a whole year now. It’s hard, because I wouldn’t want to change therapist again, and don’t want also to question the procedures of a specialized person. But I also want to treat my OCD as best as I can. Thank you very much!

If you suffer from taboo themes, and deal with groinal responses… Do you feel they have disappeared? Do you still notice them? For myself, they have become so engrained/automatic , so while i do not get “anxious” by them anymore i still can clock them & it can feel discouraging … What are your experiences?

When I was in college I would exchange inappropriate pictures with dating app matches online. In the year or two since I’ve matured a lot and am ashamed of that behavior. I’ve also developed stronger OCD which causes me to ruminate and make more of past actions than what they might have been. I recently got my dream job, and one of my fears is being cancelled. Another thing that scares me are those past pictures coming back to bite me or make me look bad. I also have started having false memories associated with my ruminations. In this case I’m worried that another person might not have wanted said pictures although I can’t really remember that ever happening. Am I putting too much thought into this? Do other people struggle with these same thoughts? Any advice would be helpful.

slight tw! my ocd has been the worst it’s ever been for about a week now. and, to me, it all started for no reason. i truly don’t understand where these thoughts came from, or why. last monday my great aunt passed away, the days before that, i got into an argument with my dad and he was really mean, and later that weekend i saw him texting horrible things to my mom about me and her both (i wasn’t supposed to see) then, later that day, i say my ex boyfriend (who lives in another state!!!) at a thrift store. i left very quickly with hopes he didn’t see me but i found out that he saw me and then called my ex best friend to make fun of me. im also sort of homeless in a way (me and mom been staying with friends and family) the house we are trying to buy is in escrow and the fulfillment date was pushed back by a month (to oct 31st), and was recently (yesterday) pushed back again. i also stress over money. i feel like with all of these things going on, im just not affected by them? although i sometimes get anxious over these things, im so used to the family fights, and i wasnt close to my aunt who passed. although i stress about money and also wanting a home to live in again, i just feel like i truly don’t care enough to have such life changing anxiety. i started feeling so nervous out of NOWHERE and my mind was trying to find any reason it could, so of course it went to my gf. now im having rocd (it’s getting slightly better) and my magical thinking ocd is also pretty bad atm. i keep taking almost every song i hear on the radio as a sign (ill never feel love again, im a horrible person, etc) , unless its something good, which i try to acknowledge is ridiculous. is it possible that the things going on in my life made me spiral like this, even though i genuinely, truly and wholeheartedly feel like they didn’t? or could this truly have been brought on for no reason? i just turned 18 + graduated this year idk if that’s relevant. this is what ive been experiencing with the anxiety brought on by my ocd, i haven’t been able to eat at all. once a day at best, and it’s something like cereal or crackers. every morning i wake up early (8 AM) no matter how late i slept, and can’t fall back asleep because of how anxious i feel upon waking up. i almost immediately have to go to the bathroom out of anxiety (tmi sorry) i sometimes throw up and im just overall pretty anxious, it’s sort affecting my relationships and definitely my mental health. i’ve lost 6 pounds this week because of not eating and throwing up. my body feels weak half the time. i’m trying to do what i can to feel better but it’s just hard. also because of the rocd i developed, i feel so anxious and sick, on the verge of throwing up, whenever i talk to my girlfriend on the phone. i’m getting better about not being anxious when she texts me, but it’s still hard. i make myself text her though because i know i wont get over this by avoiding her. yesterday we called for the first time in a few days (long distance relationship, we’ve both been busy) and i was overwhelmed with anxiety and fear. i was trying to take deep breaths and not throw up. after a little bit the anxiety went down, along with the need to puke, but was very well still there. i’m trying my best but everything is so hard. does anybody have any advice for any part of this? anything would be appreciated. ):

Hello- so my intrusive thoughts came back and i upped my lexapro from 5mg to 20mg. Now for 2 weeks. Still don’t feel great. Anyone know if it takes longer to get back in your system? Or what? Frustrated . Txs

I was talking with my family. I got groinal and usually try to avoid it. My therapist said for erp dont avoid it. Even lean into or aomething. I felt my hips thrust or me lean forward as i was sitting and ocd makes me feel guilty. I than did mental compulsions like self talk repearing “no” and ruminating on it after. But i know i wasnt trying ti do anything inappropriate