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is anyone else not able to realize that their thoughts are irrational?

I have this fear of being a psychopath or sociopath. All my life i was able to feel normal emotions like joy, sadness, guilt etc up until now where i suddenly gained this new fear of being a psychopath because i felt emotionally detached from my partner lately and i now feel like i emotionally shut down and like im on autopilot mode. Its like i cant feel anything right now, and to test myself i think of situations in my head that are bad (like someone getting hit by a car) to see if i feel any empathy and it scares me that i sometimes dont. I keep doing this over and over and i cant feel anything, im so scared of being evil or something. It triggers me when i see negative things on social media because im scared i don’t feel anything or not care about it at all. I never thought id be saying this but i WANT to feel sad or upset just so i know im not crazy.

Sometimes when I ruminate or try to disprove my themes (I know I shouldn’t do it but sometimes it’s to overwhelming and I can’t help it I’ve been getting better with it though) it feels like I’m arguing with another person, like there’s another person living in my head and they try to disprove everything I do, it’s usually a different voice from my own but when it’s really fucking with me it’s my own voice and it’s irritating, it just feels like another person lives in my head like there a bad influence and tell me to do all this shit and it’s horrible, I know it’s ocd but it just feels like another person in my head who’s constantly against me and everything I believe and when I argue I get literally no where it pulls shit out of its ass and says the most absurd shit and it makes me feel horrible, just wanted to know if anyone else’s ocd feels like it comes in the form of another person that’s living in your head?

Does anyone else have the strong urge to do some sort of drugs sometimes when there ocd gets really bad or over nothing in general, like I’ll just be sitting doing nothing and my brain goes “you need to do cocaine right now or else” and I get a urge and it’s so like odd to me??? I’ve never done drugs in my life and never plan to because my father was a addict and I’ve seen what they’ve done to people so it scares me when I get these thoughts and then I get the urge to reach out to someone who can give me drugs and I play this whole scenario in my mind where I contact someone and I meet up with them and pay them for the drugs and then I take them and die and it’s like??? Idk I’ve had weird intrusive thoughts involving drugs before but this is like different if that makes sense, I also can’t stop focusing on how my body feels when this happens like it’ll feel like I was a previous addict and that I’m going through withdrawal and need something or else and it’s just so weird to me. Anyone else go through this?

I think I did something I shouldnt have... I reasearched comphet on tiktok and saw a video of a girl explaining how she realised that first she wasnt bi and then she was a lesbian. She was talking all about how when she was with men she was craving "male validation" and wasnt actually attracted to men and that she confused platonnic and romantic love. and that whe she really thought about she realised that she loved being loved and desired by men but that she didnt specifically like men or wasnt attracted to men. She just found them attractive and was not attracted. And that when she broke up with her bf and stop dating man she realised how much more she could feel and how thinking about men gave her the ic. And I real all the comments and everyone was like omg omg omg. Anyways im sooo triggered because I feel like I could relate on some level. Im not sure if I like my bf for who he is or that i love how he loves me. And at first I used to calm my OCD by saying noo noo I love how he loves me but if I imagine breaking up with him it feels like it will be my last time with a men... what is happenning!!!

WHY is it so hard to explain ocd to someone without it? it’s like they see it as a joke/exaggeration and it’s just exhausting. people act like ocd is just organization or cleaning or whatever. while ocd can affect that it’s SO much more than that. idk

I have a friend. For years I compulsively texted them whenever I was anxious about anything and I actively sought reassurance from them. Sometimes they responded; sometimes not…which I am sure reinforced it more than if it had been steady reassurance or ignoring! I recently pieced together that this is OCD and not anxiety. Looking at our past 30 years of friendship(!) … we were in and out of each others lives and lately, since I got into this terrible loop with him, it made my anxiety so much worse… better in the moment! But then everything after that felt more intensely awful until it was a constant texting back and forth …confessing, reassurance seeking…and a relentlessly building panic/anxiety. His life was a lot too right then and he took some time and space from everyone, including me. Since piecing this together, I’ve been working on it. It’s really hard with someone you’ve known this long. I hate that I’ve become someone he can’t go to. Today we went for lunch and he shared that there’s something going on with him that’s a Big Deal. And it is absolutely a Big Deal. He decided to share what it was and I said…you know, I’m worried about making things worse, I want to check in before we keep talking. He said in the past I did make things worse and that …yeah, he wanted to end the conversation and never talk about it again. I honored that… we then had a light conversation about something else while the inside of me just screamed. I want to text an apology. For today. For the past. I want to try to get reassurance from him, of course. I know not to! But I of course still want to. I want to go back in time and undo the cycle so that I didn’t hurt either of us in the past. I don’t want to be someone who is unreliable and I have been. I want to prove I’m changing and can be reliable. The road to becoming reliable is to stop. Do NOT bring it up, do NOT apologize (because he wants me to drop it—apologizing would open it back up) and to keep resisting the compulsion to text. If we establish trust again, I need to earn it. So…. I’ve been resisting. I so badly want to repair and don’t have a model for repairing without apologizing. I’m resisting. I’m not texting. I’m not apologizing. It’s been about two hours. ”Maybe I did screw up. That would suck! But I still need to get work done“ is competing with OCD trying to sneak in and say, ”but if you did fucked up then you need to do repair work!“ … this time the repair work has got to be giving him space to decide what he shares. And it might not be me again. And it might be. But not if I text right now. Today is a long, long day.

I have a therapist appointment tomorrow and I’m worried they’re gonna think I’m a weirdo/monster for my OCD, I’m just really worried to be honest now

( pls don’t read this if you’re younger. ) —- — - . I was laying down and having gro!nal responses to nasty images but I didn’t react because I had them last year, but I had a feeling that was like “I wish I could do something to relieve it” and it also feels like I said it too? Omg, that sounds so disgusting, I feel like a bad person. I feel like I don’t deserve to keep going anymore.

I'm 32 and was diagnosed a few weeks ago. It's been really hard to accept how much of my life has been affected negatively by OCD and the paranoia and anxiety that comes from it. Just sad about it.

How can I beat ocd

Hello, I want to share my ocd story as I’m struggling with it severely right now. I was a very anxious child, when I was nine I started to have intrusive thoughts/fear/theme that I was somehow “pregnant”. Now this was concerning because I was nine..and a virgin CLEARLY. I hadn’t even gotten my period. The reason this scared me so much is that because i was a virgin, I was afraid if I was pregnant and the baby came, no one would believe me and everyone would hate me. When I was 13 this soon transitioned to being the same fear only this time because I had my period I was afraid that I either got gr@ped in my sleep, or somehow sp3rm was on the toilet seat and it well yk. However, none of this made any sense and I made myself sick worrying about it. My ocd would take a turn when I developed emotophobia, the intense fear of vomit and vomiting and so alot of my intrusive thoughts regarded vomit. As I got older they would switch and I was ALWAYS under some sort of stress. That’s when things got worse, I’m also diagnosed with anxiety so all the therapists were just treating me for anxiety but the main cause of this anxiety despite other things, is my ocd. I started to have “religious” ocd, as I consider myself a Christian and it’s a big part of my life, doing compulsions like “read that verse again, you messed up” ect. Which consumed a lot of my life. Here’s where things get hard to talk about, I started having what they call moral ocd? I was at least 15? And I thought my life was over, now the thing is when I was a kid I was messed with once, which gave me a lot of anxiety over the years and I didn’t end up telling anyone till I was older, I thought it was my fault. So I know that I would never, ever want somebody else to go through something so horrific. This fear eventually subsided, until this past year. When I was sixteen, my boyfriend sa’d me and I didn’t really have time to realize what had happened. We broke up right after which hurt a lot but I was relieved. Ever since then I was always very cautious about people, I knew what that felt like, so much shame, and not feeling like you can do anything about it. Eventually I started to get that moral ocd back, things like “what if I’m attracted to so and so” a family member ect. This would repulse me. I also watched a lot of true crime which didn’t help anything, this caused me to develop pocd/moral ocd. Now, I feel trapped I feel like I’m not at all what my intrusive thoughts say, I would never do them, and I want to isolate from EVERYONE. I feel like I don’t deserve to be here, I feel ashamed like God is ashamed of me and I have just cried and cried. I really need some encouragement or at least advice.

Im so depressed... and I feel alone... theres no hope... My pocd keeps saying that my worst fear of unknowingly cybering with a minor has actually happened and it's really triggering the hell out of me... I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing on an 18+ discord server, (she wasnt verified, but I assumed she was 18+ because we were on an 18+ place) and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... some people told me she sounds like/is a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our ERP... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)

If your also feeling this or your positive and don't want to ruin the mood I would not advise reading this I just hate how I'm always the one with an issue always unhappy stressed angry etc while everyone else seems so happy I wish for once I could feel what they are feeling instead I feel like complete this everyday My OCD has caused SO MUCH problems in my life conflicts and chaos with other people I hate how they are always successful and I am always failing and recently I’ve hated people in general and I have enjoyed human suffering because nobody has ever had empathy for me or cared the slightest when I had ocd Those lucky dipshits just made everything worse thinking I was doing it for no reason when I only did it for ocd If I ever saw someone suffering and in need I would never help because I never got help I’m going to University in a year I don’t know how on fucking earth will I manage it ERP keeps failing and. My ocd is going stronger and stronger consuming me If there was a way to end it all I really would do it I don’t like my life Might as well fail in life because this ocd is never going to go away If I had a friend with ocd maybe I could have helped them or they could have helped me All I know is I need help right now My ocd is one of the most extreme cases probably on earth this Inst an overstatement just meet me and get to know me and you will find and ocd worse than other In my logic and perspective us vs them mentally makes sence And I hate to say it but until ocd has a real cure I don’t think life is worth living

I just saw this notification pop up on my phone, that I was awarded the “OCD Conqueror” badge around 6 months ago. I just wanted to share some advice and support to anyone who is currently struggling, feeling lost, or even feeling better! OCD is honestly a very serious mental disorder. It is known as the “Doubting Disorder”, which I am sure many of you know. It can make you doubt your own character, value, intentions, beliefs, morals and so so much more. I am someone who has lived with OCD for around 10 years now, and honestly, the best advice I could give you guys is to see a therapist specialised in ERP. I was someone who was constantly doing compulsions, avoiding my triggers, trying to neutralise my unwanted negative thoughts. I always believed that these thoughts must have meant something about me. I always believed that I would never be able to live a normal life. I always believed that I would never get better. I have experienced every single sub-type under the sun, whether it has been False Memory OCD or Harm-OCD or whatever it may be, I have pretty much been through it all. I know how difficult it is, and honestly, I know how easy it is to get consumed into your themes. Here’s a little secret: the theme and content is actually IRRELEVANT. (OCD targets the things you love in life, it targets your values, your beliefs, your intentions, and your fears. So the theme and content is IRRELEVANT, because what really is the problem, is our reaction to these thoughts and feelings!) Everyone in the world has unwanted intrusive thoughts, whether they have OCD or not. The difference for those of us with OCD is that we have a much higher intolerance of being able to handle and accept doubt and uncertainty in our life. We have all probably been in this position here: “OMG, why does my brain keep coming up with these thoughts. I hate them. It must mean something terrible about me if it keeps popping up. I need to try and stop them”. At the end of the day, a thought is just a thought. Nothing else. It is literally a stream of words in your mind. Thoughts are not facts. Thoughts are not predictions. Thoughts are not indicators of anything. Thoughts have no influence on real world events. The best advice I can give you guys is this: Fighting with your thoughts and feelings gets you nowhere. Performing compulsions to reduce anxiety and distress gets you nowhere. Avoiding things that you feel will trigger you gets you nowhere. Mentally going over past events or scenarios to try and “figure” something out gets you nowhere. Honestly, coming from someone who has tried all of the above for multiple years, I can confirm that they feel like they are helping you, but truly, they are just making this worse. I got better when I figured out the goal is to just be able to co-exist with the likes of unwanted intrusive thoughts and anxiety. The goal is NOT to banish them. Once you learn that acceptance is the way forward, you will start to realise that your thoughts and feelings and urges or whatever it may be, are not actually dangerous at all. They may make you feel scared, anxious, on edge, and this is okay! Feelings are just feelings, again, they do not mean anything! Just allow everything to be there. At first, this does not feel natural at all. Most likely because your brains have adapted to the “OCD Way Of Life”, such as performing compulsions to banish the feelings of distress and anxiety. But over time, and with support from the community and your therapist, you will be so so glad you made this step and you will start to live your life under your own terms! You all got this! 😎🫶🏾

Hello all. I (20 y/o female) have an intrusive thought that popped up about four months ago and has not been able to leave my head ever since and it is ruining my life. I have a memory (?) of when I was about 7-9 years old (although I really have no idea and my brain has told me varying ages even going up a few years) when I was in the shower and turned around to see my dad popping his head in the curtain to (realistically) either check on me or try to scare me as a prank. He is the most wonderful father and has never done anything inappropriate aside from this “incident” but my brain cannot let this go and is trying to convince me that this was sexual. I have always been a “daddy’s girl” but some days I cannot even speak to him on the phone because this fear that I was somehow abused is so deep in my brain. I’ll have days where I can reasonably tell myself that even if this did happen, he did not see it as inappropriate because I am his little girl, but other days it will disgust me to no end. I’ve brought it up with him once when my thoughts were at their worst but he said he didn’t even remember it happening. My brain will randomly go “hey, think about this–you’re a victim” through out the day and it’s like my whole body will shut down, my face gets hot and my heart starts beating faster and I just feel like all of the joy has physically been sucked out of my body. It often leaves me in a depressive episode. I can’t even fathom going to therapy out of the fear of my therapist telling me that this really was concerning behavior on behalf of my dad and I don’t think I could handle that. A little while back I posted this on a subreddit and someone in the comments said “this doesn’t give me a good feeling…. But it could have been innocent if you say so” and I haven’t been able to forget this. It send me into a total tailspin, if someone from an outside perspective says it’s weird then it must be??? Ever since this thought has popped up I can’t act normally. I sometimes can’t even watch movies that have dads in them because it makes me think of it, any time I hear a sex joke my skin crawls and god forbid anyone make a “sweet home Alabama” joke around me. I’ve never seen anything online about people who have experienced this too which just makes my worry so much worse. I’ve experienced OCD symptoms since early childhood however never anything like this which makes me even more scared that it is real. I truly don’t know what to do with myself anymore, every day just feels like the precious minutes I have between the times this thought pops up.

Does anyone think we are Selfish for worrying so much about our problems. Or is this jus my ocd?

How do you know the difference between OCD thoughts and Intellectual conflicts that anybody could go through? especially if you're someone who loves philosophy and morality delimmas? and also as a young adult who experience a quarter life crisis and/or identity crisis and struggle with changing and growing up, How do you know if what hitting you OCD or something of those?

before you read please don’t if you’re not in a good headspace or struggle with ocd doubt!! does anyone else get like this with repetitive things in your head. like i have a confession compulsion and randomly literally all the fucking time i remember random stuff that i feel like guilty for then get the urge to confess then have to stop and wait for it to pass bc it will but then i feel so guilty and like a liar and a bad person for not confessing then i literally go bat shit crazy like hello. idk what’s real or what to feel bad for idk who i am or what im doing or like if im a bad person who’s acting like im not or if im not and im obsessing over random things, and even if they aren’t random and maybe something i wouldn’t do again should i confess to every thing ever, btw when i say this i dont mean things like i entertained someone else or anything.

When my intrusive thoughts get bad and I try my hardest to push them out it feels like I’m physically straining my head, like it legitimately hurts really bad and I feel like I get dizzy and can’t think and I can’t stop focusing and then my ocd causes me to think that there’s something wrong with my brain and that I need surgery or to be lobotomized or something crazy like that, does this happen to anyone else?