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I suffer from obsessive thoughts, zooming out, rumination, lots of daydreaming I overexagerate and I am so tired of it

i wake up constantly in the middle of the night, and i just woke up and i feel so weird i genuinely can’t explain the feeling. i feel like im still sleeping and dreaming and that nobody will be able to see me or hear me, i feel like ive completely lost myself like i am not me and that im in someone else’s brain/body. i feel like nothing is real, i do experience a lot of dissociating but this doesn’t feel like that. i have thoughts that i leave my body and go to someone else’s, specifically that im my dad because my dad has a lot of mental health issues, and a lot of issues from doing so many drugs in the past, and he’ll go into phases randomly where he goes completely insane and says he hallucinates, he’ll say/do random stuff that doesn’t make sense to anyone else but to him he’s making perfect sense and i am terrified ill end up like him. or that i am him and ik this sounds so crazy. i feel like this isn’t even ocd anymore, it’s so exhausting and it’s a new feeling everyday that’s even scarier. all i can do is cry and sit here because i am genuinely so tired of this, i don’t even see a point anymore. i feel like ill never live a normal life ever, i can’t make friends, i have no friends to me honest, i can’t even feel close to my boyfriend because of all this, i don’t feel close to my family either. i don’t know what to do anymore but i am so tired of this.

I used to be such an angsty teen when I was about 14-17. I love my parents with all my heart but back then when they would irritate me in the slightest, or if i’d get into any argument with them at all, or I didn’t agree with a belief, I’d immediately go to my online friends and start complaining and talking so much trash about my mother or father. Sometimes I’d exaggerate, to gain sympathy. Looking back now, I feel so TERRIBLE for saying these things, I was acting as if I was abused or something even though I wasn’t. My parents treat me phenomenally and my relationship with them grew so much as I got older (im almost 20). The guilt is now eating me up alive, I feel like a bad person and I feel like I don’t deserve their unconditional love and support. It feels like im a traitor to this amazing relationship I have with them, and always at the back of my head I think that if I told them I talked this much bad behind their backs, then they’ll never look at me the same again. At this age I can’t ever imagine doing that same thing again, even thinking about hurting them or betraying them makes me tear up and I FEEL SO BAD. Please help me. Im a terrible daughter. Also, theres this constant feeling to confess otherwise the feeling wont go away, but I don’t want to because it would be so hard and I can’t even fathom how on earth i’d bring this up to them considering i’ve been extremely good to them for the past years. I rather them not know and I want to move on, but the feeling of being a two sided b*tch still lingers. :( I would literally die for them.

i dont ask for reassurance all the time but omg i just remembered when i had this thought(intentional) about what if the guy that confessed that he liked me worked out, we were in 3rd grade that time and i remembrr having the thought that he was handsome or sumshit or like i admire him and like his personality. i dont really remember when i had this thought but it feels recent (probably thid year) mind you, im 17 now and i know deep down that there was never an intention of me reminiscing because he was a kid, infact it didnt even cross my mind that he was (in my imagination) but now that i realized it i feel so guilty because why am i thinking about something that happend when i was a kid. i feel really disgusted pls answer me.

I think im asking my intuition/spirit guides, and I mean ANY decision... Should i go eat, should i eat this or that, should i drink this, should i go do this or that, even in video games. It's everything from tiny choices to important ones. I think its some form of me making sure I do the thing in my best interest or whichever will have the best outcome for me, and i don't want anything with a bad outcome. Im not exactly sure when I started doing this but I've had it bad for at least 2+ years now. I feel like it's driving me insane because I KNOW i want to stop, even my spirit guides remind me i have to make my own choices because that's how life works, we aren't born knowing what's going to happen for a reason. Yet, I can't seem to stop myself. The worst part is, it's never decisive. I can't tell the difference between my OCD thought and my intuition, so I actually drive myself INSANE not being able to make rhe right choice, even with the small things like whar to eat. It makes me want to tear my hair out, it's so stressful for me. This is daily too, I don't know what to do to get rid of it anymore. I even tell myself sometimes when i ask to just do what I WANT to do, but my OCD fights me... Please help

Guys I'm really scared, earlier I was angry at this lady and I had bad images about her and it didn't really feel intrusive bc I wasn't distressed at all and if anything I calmed down after thinking that and it felt like I enjoyed it at that moment??? and like 15 minutes later when I came home I started to freak out and searched up "how to know if you are a psycho" and "aggression in people" and I also searched up "how to deal with anger issues" on google just in case and I've been dwelling on it since 1 pm by reviewing past thought and reactions and it's currently 9pm. I tried distracting myself by gaming but once I was done, I started getting anxious again bc I remembered. I'm just worried bc like it felt like an impulsive thought rather than intrusive cuz I was angry but like now I'm scared and sad bc what if that means I'm going to snap one day or I just don't care anymore?? What if it's true that I'm a bad person??? Like usually I try to distract myself or thought block a bad thought but that time I was just thinking about it normally and ever since I realized that, my stomach has been hurting everytime I remember that from earlier. I keep telling myself that "I didn't act on those thoughts. It's just a thought, actions are what matter" but like the fact that that thought even occured and I wasn't distressed is really messing with me. Is this still ocd??

This might sound silly, I'm not even sure if this is ocd but ive never really explained this to anybody and thought it's about time I should. When I turned 12 I started listening to tiktok sounds (silly) and I'd literally just walk around my room over and over listening to different clips of songs in my favorites, full blast in my ears from my headphones imagining I was in a different scenario in my life. I'd do it every day. I'm now 16 and I still do it, probably 10 times a day for like 20 minutes. I remember my parents said something about people being able to watch us in our phones so when I continued to do it after that, I put tape over my camera. Walking around my room with music blasting in my ears just imagining. It helps me copes with emotions but then again it makes me upset. Because why am I wasting my day on this? if I can't do this one singular activity I feel really uneasy. Like I HAVE to do it or else my day isn't right. Some days are better than others but I want to get out of this loop even though it makes me feel better in the moment, I just imagine things that's never gonna happen, things that make me want to feel bad or wish my life was worse than it really is. Again I don't know if this is truely ocd, I just want to leave this loop. It's so silly that's it's literally just me walking around my room but it annoys me that I have to do it and if I don't, I have anxiety or that really awful uncomfortable feeling in my chest.

How do you guys deal with rejection from other people or them pulling away when you talk about your OCD and intrusive thoughts? I've been dealing with that a little bit lately and it hurts a lot. I don't know how to deal with it.

I tried. I just broke down crying cause it feels too real and I feel l should just accept it that this is who I am. Maybe it’s not real but it feels real so it has to be. I keep having thoughts saying “yes I want it” but it just makes me more sad and wanna cry more. I can’t think of the things I do want. The things that used to comfort me and used to make me happy. What happened to those things? Why can’t I be ok? What’s wrong with me? Why does it feel like I am that person? I mean I’ve read and seen things about pedos having anxiety cause of who they are, so what if I feel this way because of that. There’s something wrong with me. Nothing feels ok and I know made this whole post about letting my mind go but none of this feels right. It’s like I’m just waiting for something to just give but it won’t. I kinda wish someone would just tell me “sorry but it does sound like you are a pedo”. Which is terrible but constantly having everyone say I’m not feels so frustrating cause of how much it already feels real. Maybe me posting this is reassurance seeking, or maybe it’s some big manipulation thing I’ve been doing cause somehow that makes sense. Idk anymore. I took melatonin and plan on having a very shitty nights rest for the rest of this inevitably shitty week. I’m sorry.

As someone who has bad thoughts , obsessive out of fear will it “manifest”? I don’t want to be a criminal!!

Hey y’all! I am asking for some support for a rough time with my OCD. I’m a straight woman who has SOOCD about being attracted to women as well as hints of ROCD and previous themes of the environment and religion. SO OCD has been kicking my ass on and off for over 2 years and I’ve seen 2 different therapists for treatment. With my current therapist we are doing I-CBT which has helped in some ways but not in others. I had an incredibly bad flare up thinking about some 🌽 I watched as a kid and it made me spiral thinking I could have a fetish that made me feel so awful gross and scared. I spent about 2 straight hours scrolling through forums trying to get an answer before feeling relief. I can’t see my therapist until next Friday and decided to make a list of my triggers, obsessions and compulsions to bring to her so we can talk about it and hopefully find a structured way to confront my fears. I’m currently ok right now but am nervous about when my next spiral is going to be and to go to sleep because I frequently have dreams relating to my triggers and it stresses me out so much :( This illness has stolen so much from me and feels like it borderline ruins many components of my life. I feel like I have « lost » my attraction to men becuase im so anxious all the time and im nervous to have sex with my bf (im a virgin) becuase of what ill think about or how ill react to certain thoughts. It doesn’t make any sense because I have so intensely wanted to have sex and be sexual with men in the past and that has always been my normal. It is destroying me. I’m sure people can relate but does anyone have advice on what I can do in the meantime until I can see my therapist? What I can do if I have an intrusive thought and want to engage in a compulsion? Thank you for any and all advice :))

OCD tends to attack my personal morals. I try to not only be a good person but I feel like I pressure myself to live up to impossibley high standard and be the best person. Lately my ocd makes me worry if someone/everyone assumes I'm gay. I'm straight but I support, but the fact that I have these worries makes me feel guilty and like I'm a monster. My friend said that nobody's just assuming this and that if I was homophobic I wouldn't be so guilty. I then worry when I mention these fears to people that they make them think I'm gay if they didn't already, which then makes me feel homophobic again. My friend says my OCD is just tryna give me something to worry about and make me feel bad.

Hi im 15 and my name is Asia and I have a really bad fear of drugs I think their everywhere and on everything and I keep convincing myself I did them and I always tell myself I took something dangerous like cocaine or worse it happens everyday when I eat or drink something when I’m around certain people or places I get these thoughts and when I get the thought I took something I start to feel “weird” like my body starts reacting and I automatically think “I’m dying” so I call 911 and I feel like I HAVE to call or else something horrible is gonna happen if I don’t my whole perspective on life is miserable and scary because of this I wanna feel like myself again and not get these scary thoughts it’s literally ruining everything for me I don’t like hearing ppl talk abt drugs or anything that has to do with it or I start telling myself it’s happening to me or that I took something

I read many articles about this, cause i dont know how to accept thoughts, and i hear "just let it come in, let it make you feel bad, let it make you feel anxious or depressed. So in my entire life, everytime i will have a negative thought, intrusive thought or disturbing thought, i let it make me feel how it wants. Im in a depressive season right now, i have many disturbing thoughts, i have to accept all of them to come in my mind and im acknowledging every thought and letting them make me feel how they want? Poeple are angry here that i ask this many times but i dont see any progression there...I tried to do that and gave me a huge depressive feeling and i started to panic. Now im overthinking if that depression means something deeply about me or not... and also if i find some thought patterns, should i change them? Or just dont engage in them? Also not engaging for me sounds like avoidance,.cause i avoid to engage in it. This "sit with it, accept them, work through them" doesnt make sense to me. When should i say this is an ocd thought in dont have to figure it out or this is something that i have to think about?

My ocd has progressively gotten worse throughout my life. When I was about 10 years old I started to have these intrusive thoughts that would tell me I was awkward and embarrassing to be around so I would ruminate about every social interaction I had and hyperfixate on how other people reacted to me that would give proof for the intrusive thoughts that I was these things. So I started to isolate myself in my room for most of my life and dissociate because of how strong these thoughts are and the unimaginable shame they make me feel until I developed harm ocd. I'm 18 now and I dissociate every time I go outside because I feel like people are staring at me or want to hurt me in some way. I still feel like people think I'm awkward or retarded (hate using that word but that's how the intrusive thoughts make me feel) Does anyone else experience this or know what might help me get through it? It would help to know I'm not alone at least. Thank you for reading ❤️

Is there anyone out there who has tips and tricks or getting out of a spiral or preventing one. Lately I’ve been struggling with not giving in to my compulsions but it’s so hard. Any good advice or tips on anything reducing anxiety or spirals would be so helpful.

it’s my sisters wedding tomorrow and i’ve arrived at the venue, i am struggling to enjoy the moment due to my intrusive thoughts, it feels as if i am drowning in my mind and i don’t deserve to be here, does anyone have any tips so i can enjoy myself. i just want to be normal i’m only 16

Please send positive energy. Our son has been struggling for quite some time. He’s done in-patient, PHP & IOP as well as meds and doing ERP for about 5 months. Fighting very hard to resist compulsions but still falters, which is to be expected, but those days are horrible for all of us, as the confessions and reassurance seeking is constant. The intrusive thoughts are there all day, every day, torturing him. Please tell us your success stories so we can remain hopeful. Thank you & much love to all💕

A few months back, I was struggling with intrusive thoughts about my Dad. I was having thoughts like he was looking at me inappropriately, like he was going to hurt me, etc. But now, I don't even know if its OCD anymore. He says stuff like he's going to k1ll me, and he's going to punch me. I flinch around him, and I don't feel safe in a conclusion. At first, I didn't blame it on him, said it was my fault I'm feeling this uncomfortable way, and he would never do that. And I have a feeling he wouldn't, but he still makes me uncomfortable. Its also that he doesn't respect my boundaries. I have this thing about people looking at me for a long time. It makes me incredibly anxious and uncomfortable. I know its a strong request, but i just mean constant looking at me for long periods of time. So in order to feel more comfortable, i spook out about it to my family. To say the least my sister is the only one who understands and respect that. My mom try's to, but at least I don't get uncomfortable from her stare. My dad doesn't even care. He says "your my fucking daughter, I can look at you if i want" And when i tell him it makes me uncomfortable he says "I'm not looking at you inappropriately??" but it feels like he is sometimes. And i hate it. Cause i feel like its all my fault. I feel like its all just my paranoia and my OCD telling me he's looking at me like that. Cause then i tried checking. (ik, i shouldn't be, but I'm a day or two compulsion free so :DD) But i tried seeing if he looked at other people the same way. And he does, he looks at my mom, my sister the same way. But when he looks at them in that way, it doesn't feel creepy, and it does when he looks at me. I have a feeling this is all just OCD, its the effects of struggling with intrusive thoughts. it scarred me and now my brain cant undo it. Idk..

So I’ve been having a lot of mental obsessions recently and my OCD has mainly focused there instead of physically. It kinda just switched up which is odd and I’m not sure what that means. But it’s getting pretty bad. The ones I’ve noticed so far is ruminating and not being able to let things go. Whenever I get anxious about something I’ll go back and think about it over and over and my mind will keep bugging me about it until I can properly reassure myself. No matter what it is something will bug me and I’ll go on and on for hours thinking about it even just waking up from sleeping. I just recently opened up to my mom about something not exactly bad or crazy but just personal to me because it’s a more softer side of me, and now my mind keeps eating at me and bugging me that it’ll affect something or maybe I said the wrong thing. My mind is just now fixated on a certain part of what I said and keeps bugging me about it and it’s actually pretty stressful. I’ve never dealt with this amount of Pure OCD (I’m not diagnosed yet but that’s what it seems like from what I’ve researched), and it’s getting worse. Another part that is bugging me is not being able to let go of it, no matter how much I reassure myself my mind won’t let it go. I have to constantly get reassurance either from my partner or myself and sometimes that’s stressful because then I’m anxious that I’m being annoying or too much. I honestly have no idea what to do and it’s becoming a lot for me. Can anyone help?