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does anyone else get urges to confess to a loved one when experiencing anxiety from an intrusive thought/image?i used to do this in the past but recently i have been trying to not do this, is this a compulsion?anyone else relate?

i have been doing clinical ketamine treatments for over a year and a half now and am curious anyone else’s experience. i have found that my depression and ocd can really feed off one another (obsessions triggering depressive episodes, depressive episodes being the perfect breeding ground for rumination, etc.). because of this, i believe treating my depression in turn supports my ocd treatment. does anyone else notice this relationship between co-occurring mood disorders? or has anyone had experience with ketamine? would love to hear from you guys ❤️

I’m new here and I’m not sure what to ask, but I feel like I need to ask something. The first thing that come up is a recent experience I had with waking up in the middle of the night just thinking my life isn’t real, like not that nothing matters, but like actually not real. It was terrifying. Other times I’ll wake up in the middle of the night just spiraling thinking that I’m just a terrible person and I’m ruining my children’s lives and my husband would be able to manage things better if I was not here. Anyways, I was wondering if there was anyone else that has experienced things like this. And how you deal with these things. I’m not sure that I even have OCD but it is something that I keep thinking about. I don’t want to assume though so I’m just trying to reach out for some community and outside thoughts. Thanks.

my brain keeps on trying to convince me I’m gay. Why do I care so much?? I’ve been sure of who I am for all my life, but ever since that thought that I could be something else appeared in my head. It’s ruined me completely, I’ve lost attraction to my preferred gender and overthink everything when talking to the same gender. I know pick about everything I’m feeling and ruminate on the past for evidence. I’ve always saw myself being with a man and having kids with a man. But now I guess my ocd (maybe it’s just denial idk) Is telling me I never wanted that and it was society or whatever. It makes me extremely uncomfy and very anxious. When I think about being gay that doesn’t feel right neither does being straight anymore since this theme. I just want to be normal again I hate this. I feel like I’ll never be in a relationship again ever because of this.

Some time I feel traped and stupid or mad at myself for having ocd can anyone relate? I wish i was normal even though normal does not exist and I know that but I wish could blended in more with other people you know. Sometimes my family treats me like I am weird, and I am but I can not help it ,you know.

this is honestly the worst summer of my life. i have intrusive thoughts almost constantly and when i tell myself i can get through this i get even worse intrusive thoughts to destroy me. and even worse, i cannot help but mumble, whisper, or even say my intrusive thoughts out loud sometimes. this is honestly ruining my life. i don’t even know what’s real anymore and what i do versus don’t do. my mind is convincing me i have done things or want to do things that i haven’t and don’t want to do. i can’t enjoy my vacation and honestly just want to go home.

i started therapy not too long ago and i really feel like i can’t talk to him at all. it’s so uncomfortable because the stuff im struggling with are all sexually related. each time he asks me about my intrusive thoughts i can’t identify them, ive been given homework to do and i haven’t even started it because im struggling so much to identify what is me and what isn’t. he isn’t a specialist in ocd either, he said he’s worked with people who are worried about the same thing as me but it doesn’t reassure me. in all honesty i dont think it would change anything if he was a specialist in it, i’d still most likely feel the same way. each time we talk about it (eg thought fusion and all) i doubt every little thing he says. it feels like i can’t open up to him in the slightest, when i try to it feels like im lying or if i start to i automatically go back on it and suddenly dont have the courage to talk about it. ive never told anyone my intrusive thoughts before, not even my mum and i tell her everything but i’ll never tell her them. he said he understands why im too scared to write them down, if i do it feels real but i can’t even identify what’s intrusive and what isn’t anymore, there’s no more anxiety. im just constantly thinking about things i don’t want to think about. i don’t know what to do, im spending money on the sessions but i just leave feeling even worse. i’m NOT doing too bad right now so i feel like i don’t need therapy but i know if i was to leave therapy it would most likey get worse again. is this normal? i don’t understand at all. i’m literally lying to him because im too scared to open up.

Hi everyone. I’ve been on Zoloft for a couple of years now. Overall a very good experience. My Doc slowly worked me up to 150mg, but lately (past couple weeks) seems like my OCD has been stronger which is also triggering depression. OCD + Very low energy, easily annoyed/angered, etc. Any positive/relatable experiences out there with increasing above 150mg? Thanks in advance!

I have a very shameful consequence of my OCD, and my compulsory avoidance. It's been impossible to open my mail and to pay bills during my adult life. Coming from a recoursful background one of my deepest trauma is how my at that time undiagnosed disabilities prevented me from functioning in studies and jobs. So I recieved welfare and felt extremely shameful about it and desperate to get out of it. So I started my own business and despite my absurd struggle (more and more expert of hiding, no idea it was OCD, I always referred to it as my phobia in my mind, the more hidden the worse it became- unnoticed that it was worsening by me) I managed to succeed with my business (!?) My OCD can be described as living with an invisible 10headed Boa Constrictor around my body, squizing so much that I chronicly grasp for air and think.I will die when the giant snake 🐍 talks in my ears and brain constantly telling me from different heads how useless, ugly, terrible, horrible and repulsive I am and multiple all obstacles if I dare to think forward, take initiative and try to liberate my self from its grip. So I learned to live with my business and "outside-me" and the invisible nightmare I paralell was facing. My goal was to achieve a healthy self sustainable life. When this actually became realized and my success grow the constrictor tighten its grip more and more til I in the end was complicated paralyzed and withdraw all tasks from my accounter and everybody else due to the shame of the scenarios that still did not happen- but if I moved an inch they would happen. I could not send enquiries, open bills, emails, deliver, order, call or respond, the money to pay my responsibilities was there, but instead of dealing with my reality, I was dealing with a coming scenario produced in my mind and all my money went to pay for totally irrational prevention of an imagined scenario. Writing this makes me very unhappy. I lost everything. My first very hard earned 1.4 million the only positive thing I can see with that which in the end is about to give me a new and true life - so it's good- my OCD was discovered and diagnosed after 28 years with horrible intrusive thoughts. And I am back on welfare. It breaks my heart. My life is not sustainable on these money, my success was to short-lived to be reflected so I am now diagnosed and this gives me hope, but without money to pay my treatment. I feel so embarrassed, so embarrassed and to post this makes me very worried, but I just hang up the phone with a relative- I had to call and ask for a loan of money to cover my own everyday expenses, and it throws me back to the traumas I tried with all my strenght to escape in the first place. It feels like my entire life project has completely failed and that there is no way out of this financial nightmare. And to ask friends and family members for financial help makes me loose all my powers, and hope- I still can't belive this has happened- even though I realize that the OCD mislead me all these years, so it's also very difficult to see the pictures others have of me- as successful (?@#%*??) . The reality now is that I am on the absolute rock bottom, 30 years of my adulthood is lived, and I am suppose to start from scratch. Thank you if you read all this. I really don't want to complain and feel sorry for myself- but its so tough to believe that I can get out of this trap where my OCD keeps me in my phobias and the phobias/compulsions prevent me from money which blocks treatment which blocks income which then reinforce the obsessions. This app and all the material available online is my lifeline- even though I am feeling so extremely desperate I also can feel the resistance inside when I write honestly like this. Ok, no matter what, I am going to win, I am going to beat this monster and achieve a good life. A future with a manageable OCD will be a new life that can bring out who I truly am for the first time since my onset of what I now know is OCD at 21 years old. I love you all here who are sharing and helping others with sharing your stories. I hope one day I can share mine and be open and I know I must be greatful that I have someone to call to even though it's tough. Love to all OCD survivers❤️

Idk if I have ocd or not I just want to know about 4 months ago I started getting harmful thoughts to loved ones im very scared because I would never hurt anyone. These thoughts scare me so much because they are so vivid and I have like these urges as if I’m going to do it. What is this? Am I ok? Am I going crazy please someone help it feels like I can’t take it anymore living this way with these thoughts haunting me day and night.

Consider this a brief escape from your worries and fears. I must warn you that what follows may be a bit philosophical, but its relevance will become clear by the end. Many people dealing with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder—whom I refer to as 'over-thinkers'—often find themselves trapped by the uncertainty of the world around them. They get caught in an endless cycle of "what if" questions, unable to break free. While they know these thoughts are hypothetical, they still find it hard to ignore them. Interestingly, this awareness shows that they can distinguish between what is real and what is not. Let’s clarify what we mean by reality. Reality is what exists here and now, something we can perceive with our five senses. For example, your reading of my words doesn’t make you 'real' to me, as I cannot verify your existence through my senses. This brings to mind the classic philosophical question: if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear or see it, did it really fall? Existence, however, goes beyond what we can immediately sense. It includes everything that has been, is, and will be, and can be verified through both our senses and our reasoning. So, while over-thinkers may struggle with the concept of existence, they are often very aware of reality, which is a positive sign. I believe that only those who crave certainty—our over-thinkers—have the potential to excel in fields like mathematics, which is all about precision. This desire for certainty drove great minds like Albert Einstein to seek universal laws, leading to his famous equation, E=MC^2 However, when Dr. Max Planck introduced the idea of quantum mechanics, suggesting that the universe is not just black and white but includes shades of gray, it challenged Einstein’s worldview. He struggled to accept this uncertainty, even going so far as to seek ways to disprove it. The key point here is that uncertainty is not a flaw in our universe; it is a fundamental part of it. The real question is not how to eliminate uncertainty, but how to make the most of it. Imagine a world where the sun rose from a different direction every day—such chaos would be unimaginable! That said, uncertainty does not control us. The field of probability helps us understand and navigate this unpredictability. Those who excel in this area—often our over-thinkers—can make significant contributions and even achieve financial success. In conclusion, I want to emphasize that uncertainty is a natural part of our existence. We have a choice: we can either use this uncertainty to grow and learn or try in vain to change it. The choice is yours. May your day be filled with thoughtful reflections. Happy day everyone.

I’m scared that I cheated on my boyfriend. There was a woman part of an organization who came to do a demonstration for the kids I work with. I thought the organization was cool and I also thought the lady was attractive even tho I gave a bf. I wanted to look up the organizations site because I was genuinely interested in the work they do. Then my anxiety said what if you’re just looking it up to see her. I yelled at myself that I wasn’t and I am just looking it up to see the organization. When I got on the website I saw her and I did admire a picture of her. For maybe no more than 10-15 seconds (maybe less I don’t remember my ocd might be exaggerating). I remember thinking this is bad you should look away but in my head I was upset at my ocd and I was also attracted to the girl in the picture so I was like I DONT CARE and kept looking. I felt really guilty after and I told my bf what happened. He said it’s fine but now I can’t stop obsessing over whether I made a conscious decision to cheat or not. I feel like if I did I would remember this whole things clearly which I don’t. Please any advice would be appreciated 🙏🏽

hey guys, this is going to be long but i’m trying to heal and i really really would love advice. i’m looking for help with confession ocd in romantic relationships. my question is, how do i stop myself when i have the feeling “wow this is something i REALLY need to confess. no it’s actually important this time” even though the logical part of my brain is saying all it will do is probably cause an argument and isn’t important. how do you get past that feeling of “i HAVE to say this thing because they NEED to know?” that feeling of it being so important. another question is if you do confess and you struggle with false memory, i feel like a lot of the time i say “i might have” it “i think i…”. this feels unfair to my bf because he never knows what’s real and what isn’t and NEITHER DO I!!! most of the stuff i confess is from around 2 years ago, so small details i don’t remeber. false memories can also make literally anything feel real. so when i months later after confession remever the REAL answer (i DID do this when i said i MIGHT have) how to stop from RE confessing?? sorry this was so long but i’m really trying to heal and i REALLY need advice. thank you guys!!

What do you do when nothing feel right. Like for example I feel like everything triggers me, everything feels weird, sounds, actions, my room. I feel like i will go insane any second and I cant enjoy anything, I cant be happy about my upcoming new job or events. I have OCD about me having shizhophrenia and omg it has ruined my life, it has only been about 3 weeks, but it has got me complitely. I want my old self back and I am scared that my loved one will leave me bc i am not getting better. I really want a new theme as funny it sounds, because even 2 years ago harm OCD was't this hard. I feel like something in me is changing, but i dont want it 😭 I will start therapy in the end of August and I just started taking medication. But for now I cant imagine this stopping and I fear that it will go downhill from this, i cant see me doing better, because if i have a good day I rember how i felt yesterday or when I had a panic attack and I cant get enough of it, i always remember those feelings and I start to worry about it over and over again.

What should I do if I catch my self ruminating. Most of the time when I ruminate is when I have urges, sensations or images. I just want my life back.

Hi, can someone please told me how to dealt with compulsions i been avoiding a lot of music because if i listen to some songs someting bad will happend

I tell myself so much that I don't believe in myself and that I feel like a bad person and that events of the past leave me greatly uncertain about who I am no thanks to OCD. When it comes to who I was as a teenager, to be honest, I was straight up fucking weird. I did weird things, I acted out, I wasn't good at socializing with people, and the more I try to look back into the events of the past, the more disturbed and disappointed I become. That just was not the person I wanted to be. I just wanna be able to put all of that aside and just be nice to myself. Be kind to myself and accept myself for who I am and just be confident. The thing is OCD doesn't let me. It feels like I'm not OWED to feel that way about myself or that I don't deserve to. Or that I need the permission of OCD to feel that way. I don't want it to be that way. I just want to be able to think positive about myself despite the past but that's next to impossible.

Huge trigger warning related to porn and pedophilia. Please don't read if it makes you uncomfortable. Thank you if you get to read this long post. Something awful happened recently. I was watching porn, I won't say what page because idk if it is allowed, but it is the most famous porn page there is, so you'd think you wouldn't find something so horrifying there. The problem is that one of the automatic pop ups that appeared really terrified me because the girl looked way too young. I'm not sure if she truly was underage, but she looked it, and I can't express how horrifying it is considering if she could have been. I feel like my mind is playing games with me. I can't tell if it was paranoia or reality. My memories are really fuzzy, as I was on a state of shock when I saw it. I remember feeling scared right away and trying to look up how to report it, but the page refreshed on it's own and I never saw the pop up again. I felt so gross for seeing that, and guilty for not reporting it. It was an accident, but I can't help but think that I enjoyed it and that it is my fault for watching porn at all. I am a monster. If this had happened to someone else I wouldn't question it so much, as I know that I didn't look at it on purpose and tried to do the right thing when I saw it. But I already hate myself because years back, when I was 16, I discovered loli. Which is really wrong drawings of young characters. And since then I've been obsessed with the topic and developed pocd. I never looked for those drawings again after that, I dont enjoy them. But I've accidentally found them again on the internet and it's made me feel disgusting and evil; but at least I had the certainty that it wasn't real, until now. I think that this is recent event is further proof of the monster that I already thought I was. After what happened, I immediately contacted a therapist, but tbh, I don't think that I'll ever move on from that. Life isn't looking good right now.

How can i reassure myself (comfort) if i am angry and upset about having compulsed when i am not supposed to either compulse or reassure myself?

I have been with my partner for about a year and 4 months. My ocd symptoms started in February. Recently, my ocd is making me seem annoyed by everything my partner does… I have a bad problem with forming my opinion off of other random people instead of making my own, possibly fear of perception/upsetting people with an opinion so I have to follow like a sheep. This frustrates my partner. My ocd might latch onto a random dark humour joke he made or an opinion for example about social issues that is different to me where we have to agree to disagree and I end up going searching on mainly TikTok. If I see a comment where some people are against what my bf said I have to go and tell him and it’s almost every day my ocd manages to nitpick something. A lot of the time it’s me setting it off by asking his opinion or something where I can feel my ocd being like “let’s scan for things in this conversation to latch on to 😈” and starting a convo where something could trigger my ocd. He might be playing a video game and says things, for example if he’s shot in the game and gets a little bit annoyed. My ocd will instantly latch onto something. I try to hold it back but I ocd tells me I NEED to tell him off for it. If I bring something up while communicating and my boyfriend asks why I think something is bad, it usually always starts with “well I saw a tiktok/instagram comment-…” and my boyfriend stops me to tell me I’m going off a small group of people’s opinion and I need to be able To form my own opinion and it’s okay for me To have my own opinion. A lot of the time I can’t form an opinion because I’m scared what people think so I resort to looking at random peoples comments on posts. 😞 My ocd convinces me he’s a bad person because he has dark humour. Is all the need to confess my thoughts and tell him off ocd? Is the best thing to do sit with the uncomfortableness? Does anyone relate