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Please share some tricks how to reduce the intrusive thoughts.I really cannot afford a therapist right now, so please share some things your therapists have told you to do

Ok so I'm 21 and turn 22 in August. Btw this might be a lil bit of a read but it'll be nice tho. So I have diagnosed Anxiety, CPTSD, and Bipolar 1 disorder. About a month and like 2 weeks ago I started having some really taboo intrusive thoughts. I've always been highly aware of myself and so searched up "Sexual intrusive thoughts" on Google. No wait before that I searched if intrusive thoughts were a symptom of Bipolar disorder. I came across a lot of articles about Bipolar OCD comorbidity. Basically a lot of people with bipolar are more likely to have OCD. I was like "wait what?? OCD?!? On whooooo??" Mind you I was thinking of the stereotypical OCD you see in movies. I was just thinking I don't have that so how? So in one of these articles it talked about the types of intrusive thoughts people with Bipolar OCD comorbidity can have and one of them were sexual and religious intrusive thoughts. I was blown away. I then searched "Sexual intrusive thoughts" on Google and realized holy shit I have OCD..oofie. I then went down the worm hole of obsessively searching all things OCD (which lol I found out was a compulsion searching and all) and realized I've had OCD for a while. Since I was a small tot for real for real. I've always had Pure OCD, but realized I have contamination OCD when it comes to being in and out of the shower, I used to but not anymore would always check if the stove switches were off. I've always thought about harm coming to my family and myself and would think up entire scenarios in my head for literally no reason. I obsessively think to the point where it physically tires me out. I get severe anxiety and literally will lose my asshole from just thinking to much. I've seen a lot of people comparing it to being trapped in your own head and it exactly how I feel. The things I hear, and see tend to trigger intrusive thoughts for me but especially the things I hear. I always thought noise cancelation headphones were for those with Autism but I find myself wishing I had a pair these days. I usually use music to drown out my thoughts and take me away from the world but once I stop listening all the thinking and thoughts come flooding back and I'm once again trapped in my own head. So yea idk. That's my sitch of a wation. If you relate or have feedback drop a comment. Also like share and sub to my YouTube channel. Hahaha nah jk I don't have a YouTube channel 😂 TL/Dr have a bunch of other mental stuff just realized I may have had OCD for the longest.

Here is all my symptoms that I have been experiencing: 15 years old - first symptoms playing Fortnite and when playing my brain will tell me “go pickaxe that tree, do it or you will lose the game” and if I attempt to leave it my brain will say “go back, you better go back, you better do it or you’ll lose” until I give in and do it 18 years old - symptoms worsen with obsessions (such as certain games or tv shows) and I start to worry excessively and asking for constant reassurance that things are the way I think they are (if people like me, if people think the way I think etc) Present day - much worse symptoms: Noise sensitivity with doors in rooms being open and I can hear TV extremely loud or when people are talking in huge groups around me so I got noise cancellation headphones because I became so unbearable I couldn’t study or focus in education or at home. Obsessions with order such as sorting figurines in order of colour or name for hours at a time and excessive leg bouncing and tapping on tables for hours at a time (sometimes I don’t even notice until someone point it out), zoning out or becoming hyperactive. Feeling of extreme boredom very quickly after finishing tasks and extreme irritability especially when things aren’t done my way or done incorrectly. I can read people very well before anyone else does and I pay attention to details no one else can. I also think more in depth that other people sometimes in a manipulative way (I wanted to win certain things so I would act and do certain things so ensure I would win or I would say things so people would do what I wanted) and the biggest symptom I’ve had longest is lack of empathy and emotions. Are these all related to OCD or is this something else?

I gave into a major compulsion after a major trigger. I haven’t done that in many months. My anxiety spiked because of a trigger. How do you forgive yourself? I feel like a failure. 😞

Is the anxiety still meant to be there? I have so much evidence and it feels like no matter how much erp, I can’t get past the facts and evidence I have from my past memories…. This is so scary, erp is so so hard. Reassurance is easier but sitting with the thought makes me feel like it’s real and I get lost in these thoughts and spiral. Isn’t it supposed to go away? This is why I hate erppppp

I had a hard day today with my mental compulsions, rehearsing and thinking about stuff between me and my boyfriend and brought something up I thought was important. What happens every time I do is that he gets annoyed because it’s a demeanor that is intense as a result of obsessing. I didn’t say anything mean, I know it could have been much much worse, and I stopped talking about it much more quickly than I’ve done previously with going on and on and on. It’s really hard though, I’m thinking about it more, and it’s another reinforcement that it really is the same every time when you think about something all day. I feel like I’m going down a rabbit hole now where I’m thinking about it more after the fact, feeling distress at the uncomfortable thoughts. How do I stop this?

I know it may sound like reassurance seeking but it's actually a sincere question. During these days I've been struggling believing it's ocd and I've let my thoughts race a lot. I had to study for an exam but I wasn't able to concentrate very well. So my question is: if I try ERP but then it turns out it's not ocd, could I create some damage? I'm so afraid I will confuse myself even more. But the worst case scenario is that it won't work, and I'll change my approach to it... am I right? (I'm diagnosed, I've changed therapist recently, but I struggle to accept it truly is ocd)

Some examples of my thoughts, images commands, feeling and sensations. Who relates to these? -stomach dropping making my chest tight -rapid heart beat/skipped beats -images of horrible scenerios like driving off a bridge or hurting someone or images of what me “snapping” would look like. -looking in the mirror and getting scared that my face will change into a demon face so I stop looking in the mirror. -looking too long at my son and having to look away so I don’t hallucinate a different face on him (even tho I’ve never hallucinated) -what if you’re a horrible monster and you’re going to off yourself -what if your husband and son are demons -you shouldn’t be left alone with your child in case you hurt them -images and scenerios of me texting my husband while he’s at work and telling him I’m killing our son and then myself (even tho I would literally never do this. It makes me sick to even type it on here) -what if you you have schizophrenia even though you’ve been professionally diagnosed (twice) with ocd -what if the ocd specialist was wrong and you don’t have ocd and you’re dangerous -what if you go into psychosis. -what if you are In psychosis right now -what if you were scared of your hands…?¿ this one is so weird lol -what if that bug isn’t real -what if you hear voices -kill them -they’re better off without you -you’ll never get better - you’re crazy. -this can’t be ocd it must be more -nobody else gets these thoughts and feeling -feelings of scared, worried, uncertain, intense anxiety -fears intensifying at night as I’m drifting to sleep -nonsense thoughts that don’t make ANY SENSE at all as I’m trying to fall asleep -what if you believe people are after you one day like a crazy person -what if you already believe this. What if you are delusional. The list goes on. I hope these help some of you feel not alone if you have them as well

i was really nervous yesterday and scared on losing my morals but i had a moment of almost.. like peace and acceptance and i just couldn’t get scared no matter how hard i tried to get nervous and my mind was like.. “your not losing your morals and if you have different opinions on certain things it’s not the end of the world” i could finally fall asleep and i felt.. peaceful? but it makes me question if i have ocd in the first place because it really didn’t feel like ocd yesterday. but now i woke up and im nervous but not for the same reason. i’m nervous cuz whenever i get a worrying thought that im losing my morals i get nervous but i also just idk, it feels like i get little thoughts telling me it wouldn’t be that big of a deal and i almost feel like i believe it now even tho yk how can i suddenly stop fearing what i felt all along? im very confused about this and am wondering if im genuinely losing my morals (which i dont want happening still) but idk i just dk. i wanna be more black and white in my values like i was before this ocd but now i see the shades of grey and idk if i should be worried but it makes me feel like im losing my morals

TW: Parent loss My OCD has spiked since losing my mom in March. Like my nesting is trying to find its new obsession to hold onto. Not sure how much more of this I’m going to take.

Hi all, I wanted to share that I am trying hard to exercise frequently with many different sports/activities, but I’m finding that it’s keeping me in my thoughts even worse and making my brain increase and accelerate the unwanted intrusive thoughts passing through. Does anyone experience this/ and have recommendations to combat this? I need to exercise not only to get healthier but I also want to enjoy it and not dread it with the seemingly increased OCD thoughts and compulsions/rumination it causes. Thanks! 😊

OCD makes me feel like I’m holding in the biggest secret about myself and I don’t deserve happiness. I feel red faced and nervous all the time, when the thoughts come on it feels like a big rush of “truth” hits me and I can’t not believe it

Does anyone else feel like your OCD goes after everything that’s important or precious to you? Like if you have a dear memory of something, your mind will try to tell you why that’s wrong or bad even when you know it’s something perfectly pure and a happy memory. I feel so beat up by this illness.. it steals my joy. Only Jesus can help me, only he knows just how bad this torment in my head is.

So lately I've been able to control OCD after a long time. If I have a harm intrusive thought or image, I just let it go. By doing this, I am able not to feel anxiety with these intrusive thoughts, and therefore improving over time. But sometimes I start to feel anxious for not feeling anxious with these thoughts. It's like: "If I don't feel anxiety with these awful harm thoughts/images, does that mean I want to do them??" It drives me crazy. Also, as I tend to have intrusive thoughts and sudden images at some point everyday, I think "what if maybe it is not OCD, but another kind of mental issue? What if I don't treat myself and I go crazy over time? What happens if I think I'm improving, but I'm not?" Anyone feeling this way as well?

I was hoping to get some insight into what recovery/remission looks like for those of you in it. Does it look differently for each of us? I am managing much better than at 22, but it’s still annoying and constant. I’ve done CBT and ERP therapy, I’m on Prozac, and it was helping quiet the thoughts, but I still have flare ups or flooding of thoughts. My wonder is, is this recovery? I have a job, I’m a mom, I literally live in exposures everyday and I keep going. I never avoid, I always continue what I’m doing when the thoughts come up. I just get frustrated when I hear people say “I beat OCD.” What does that look like, sound like, feel like on a daily basis? Does it mean, despite the horrible intrusive thoughts, you carry on any way and don’t let it stop you from living your life? But to me, it’s just always there :(

I had an intrusive thought looking at s friends haircut and thinking it looked good was that inappropriate than i leand forward against my car and it caused groinals. As a compulsion i always say no and shake my head. But i worry did thst mean i purposely leaned on the car or bcuz of the compulsion i didnt intend for it. Same with haveing intrusive thoughts than feeling like im leaning toward someone worrying was i trying to brush up on them or maybe my brain tells my body to do that because im worried obsessed about brushing up on people that it does that. It caues anxiety and distress and i always fo compulsions to trymake it go awy

Hey everyone so the last to days I’ve been having a anxiety flare and my ocd has spiked so I was laying in bed this morning when I woke up and started thinking about how big the earth is and how the earth is round and I was thinking omg what if I got that stuck in my head and started getting dizzy and lost control. I’ve had this thought bother me before and it’s always been something that kinda terrified me about how big the earth is and how small we are. It’s impossible to control things around us and control what others do. It’s almost like I’m use to being in my little thought pattern and when something pops in and scares me I feel anxiety and panic and then I start to panic again because I’m scared of panic and losing control. I don’t know I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed the last day or two. I felt like I was making a lot of progress but my brain doesn’t want to shut off it’s always worrying and it gets so annoying between me getting things stuck in my head or feeling like I’m on the verge of panic and loosing control. Sorry I know this was a lot but I needed to vent because my brain has been boxing me in lately and it feels as if there’s no escape because something will always be causing me stress and giving me anxiety. On the bright side I know this will pass or maybe it won’t I’ll just have to except the uncertainty

I was worried today that I might oversleep and forget to let my friends' dog out in the morning to use the bathroom. My therapist said "What's the worst that could happen?" I told her the worst would be that the dog uses the bathroom inside and I'd clean it up, which I know wouldn't be bad. My therapist then said "You'd even get some extra sleep if you did sleep in". I'm a bit confused though, because I don't want to ACTUALLY sleep in and let the dog out late. And then I think about other intrusive thoughts like "What if you threw your wallet away?" or "What if you smeared soap all over your TV?" or "What if I left the stove on?" Or "What if you leave the gas on?" I don't want these thoughts to actually become real. I thought we treated all intrusive thoughts the same, as ego dystonic, not representing us. Not to make them real. I was thrown off by my therapist saying "the worst that could happen is the dog uses the bathroom and you'd get some extra sleep". Just a bit confused. I guess you could kind of compare this to "What if I'm late for work?". Like yeah, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I was late, and I would get some extra sleep, but I don't want to intentionally make myself late for work.

Tonight was the worst night I have had in a long time. I'm so tired of frustrations that I almost don't care what it takes to stop feeling this way. Tonight these two kittens and their mom were trapped so that they could go to a foster setting. I was told by the trapper ahead of time that they didn't need any help, except that they did. They came by in the morning to trap the cat and kittens, but the cats were bedded down, so that plan didn't work. In the meantime however, I wasn't able to get work done because the trapper needed me to call the cat and shake the food bag. I really didn't want to be involved because I don't want the cats associating me with this memory, even though I won't see them again. But I'll agree to helping because I know it's for the cats own good. Finally after a couple hours they give up and say they'll be back around 5. OK, no problem. I already told them I was going on site for work later, so I'm not to worried because I probably won't be back home by 5. I get into work even later than I planned because of the way this disrupted my day, and the extra time it takes me just to prepare to go in, due to ocd stuff. I also told the trapper I had a telehealth appointment for my talk therapy between 5 and 6, so I won't be available, but after my appintment I find that the missed called that occurred was from them. They also sent a text saying that they were coming at 6 instead. Well, it's 6 when I got the call, and I'm still an hour and 25 minutes away taking my therapy call in my car at work. So I sent a text back and said, no problem and that I'm not home yet. Now, with the interruptions this morning, and rushing to go to work, I realized on my drive in that the only nurishment that I've had at this point is a pint of chocolate milk. I figure I'll get something when I get to work, except everything is picked over. So, maybe I'll grab some food when I go for my call at 5, which was only about an hour and a half wait at that point. I take my call, and afterwards, I decide I'm just going to head home and eat there, because it's already 6 o'clock. On the way home, another text. Trapper say they aren't there yet, but they are going to be there at 7:30. I reply ok, I'll probably be getting home around that time anyway. I get home and I don't get to go inside to eat or relax because the trapper needs my help again. We caught the mom and her 2 babies, and the whole process sent my anxiety through the roof. I was happy that the cats were going to have a better life, but I felt horrible about trapping them and I just wanted to put my clothes in the hamper and take a shower. There is a second mom that has one kitten, so we were also trying to trap them. The whole time my stomach is growling, but now I need a shower before I can sit down to eat. At 9:15 the trapper say she is going to call it a night and get the trapped cat/kittens where they're going, and settled. She asks me to keep an eye on the trap so that we can still try to catch the other mom and kitten. NO FRUCKELING WAY! I mean, I'll tell you whatever you need to hear, but as soon as you drive off, I'm triggering the trap and going inside for a shower. Normally I would be heading to the grocery store around 10pm, when it's quiet, but guess the grocery store isn't going to happen tonight. So, ok, one foot in front of the other. First thing, let's wash my hands. Dang it, my hand hit the faucet. Ok, more soap and wash again. Dang it, it happened again. This must have happened about 9 times in a row. Well almost in a row. I stopped two or three times to shout a string of profanity that could be heard 2 miles away. Now I have gotten my shower, but I still need to get my laptop out of my car, I need to wash my cell phone and my credit cards that were in my pocket. I'm just so fricking tired of ocd and I want to stop feeling this way. I hate this, and I hate getting caught in situation like tonight, where someone else's poor planning affects the plans I laid out, which are frigging essential for me to be able to function at all. I'm just tired and the progress I've made in getting away from these feelings, feels like it translates to a enormous risk when those feelings spring back with a crap ton of potential energy. I hate this life that ocd has made for me.

TLDR: I’m about to start a competitive medical school program, and need advice for how to navigate panic attacks during ERP, since starting this fall I literally won’t have time to deal with panic attacks during classes and clinicals. I’m going through a bad flare up with OCD, and I also deal with a panic disorder on top of that, and my OCD lovessss my panic disorder lol. Short background; This is my third time dealing with it heavily. My first time I was in middle school. My second time was a bit over a year ago, my first semester in college. It took over my life, and my grades were bad during that time because of it. I learned how to properly use ERP, and actually recovered very well. Unfortunately, at the beginning of spring semester in college this year, I started dealing with intrusive thoughts and OCD again, and had gotten so comfortable not having to use ERP, I let the anxiety take over and developed another OCD spiral. It wasn’t “that bad” at first, but because I neglected ERP and kept doing compulsions, it’s gotten pretty rough. Yesterday I had my first panic attack in a long time, as I was doing ERP and having 10/10 anxiety. Im trying to approach this realistically; since I’ve been doing compulsions for a good while, recovery will also take a while, and if there’s one thing I know, is that it’ll get worse before it gets better. Classes start in a little over a month for me, and I will NOT let OCD take over my life and ruin my grades like it has before. Does anyone have advice for navigating a busy lifestyle while also prioritizing ERP? And any advice for as peacefully as possible going through panic attacks during ERP?