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I'm struggling really badly with terrible thoughts and urges. I feel I'm going crazy. Im a kind person and I can't cope with it.

Year+ ago i was addicted to p*rn and thank God i overcame it. This one instance i was looking at celebrities. A new wbsite had a compilatiom of romantic scenes i was looking for one in particular. There was a scene a husban was holding his child and talking to the wife who was nude. I remember being sngry because i didnt want to see a child it wasnt inappropriate but i was looking for a scene on a p*rn website so i fast forwarded and was mad. I went through the video and had to go back to find the scene i was looking for of a celebrity so i got anxious if i had to pass that other scene with the kid. Im not a p*do and i found the adult scene and kept it moving but now years later my ocd has doubt and what ifs like what if i was touch*ng myself when i seen that scene of the kid or what if i went back and did the second time. I know this is false memory ocd snd i know its false guilt because im not a p*do. I dont take pleasure in that the thougjt of it causes me anxiety. Im just worrying what if then that would make me a p*do but im not and ive never done that. My intent was to see a celebrity and i was mad when i seen the kid.

Since the age of 11/12 i've struggled with OCD. It started when I was at secondary school. My compulsion was to constantly check my homework was packed for the next day, this would happen all too frequently. I never really knew what was happening and just accepted this is who I am without really speaking to my parents about it. OCD has continued and various sub types have appeared and disappeared over time, still at this point I just thought "this is me and everyone has their quirks" I'm now into my mid 30's and in particular the last 3/4 years have been incredibly difficult. I was definitely in a state of depression alongside with chronically bad OCD and anxiety. I'm thankfully past that stage without much external help or medication. Since the start of this year I've been doing mindfulness exercises and learning more about OCD. I live in the UK and have not seen a doctor about this and therefore never been diagnosed. The general advice seems to be to use telephone talking services? I'd be interested to know more from people living in the UK about what there experience has been with our public or private services?

Does anyone else struggle with OCD “what if” thoughts that assume all the worst about their partner/family? I have constant intrusive thoughts about how maybe these people are actually secretly terrible, have done/will do horrible things that I don’t know about, etc. My brain tells me a constant stream of horrific ‘what if’ scenarios and brings up all sorts of little memories or bits of data to try to convince me the worst is true. This feels different from my other OCD themes that I feel like I can deal with somewhat successfully. I’m not sure how to live with this uncertainty because I feel like people really can hide terrible things, cheat on you, pretend they’re something they’re not, etc. It feels wrong to ignore the thoughts as a result. Anyone have any advice?

Can OCD make your real emotions feel like lies? For example, you feel disgusted by a thought, but for some reason that feels wrong? But when a disturbing thought comes to mind, you almost feel like you enjoyed or liked it? I'd appreciate any advice

I had an intrusive thought. It was sticky. It made my head buzz and my chest feel tight. I thought will this be all day? I haven’t felt so scared of a thought in a while. It was intense, and I was not sure what to do, other then check in with my body and not to give in to the fear or uncertainty! The time was 9:43 when I was terrified I may act on my thought and by 9:57 the thought went from…I will….i could….i may….it’s totally possible…..anyyyyyyyy minuteee noowwwww…to wow the moments passed!!? Give yourself 10 mins 😜

Since my ex decided to break it off with me and start a relationship 2 weeks later with his female friends that he told me about, I’ve been struggling with guilt and being able to see other people. It all feels so wrong and it’s hard for me to let someone else in even as friends. Her story is even worse than what my ex did. She broke up with her ex 3 days before sleeping with my ex in the flat they both lived in. Hes found it really difficult to move on as she’s been messaging him constantly about her new bf, trying to make him jealous and even still sleeping with him when she was sleeping with my ex. Anyway, me and her ex became friends over this entire thing, we both felt hurt and realised we could make each other feel better as we’ve been through the same thing. So we met up yesterday and spent the day just chilling and talking, but now I’m worried people are gonna go around being like “that’s disgusting they’ve swapped” or “they’re just as bad as the other 2” I don’t wanna be on the same level as them, I’m not sleeping with this boy or even seeing him in a romantic way, we just hung out and we get along. It’s nice to feel understood by someone outside of my family and friends. But I can’t and it feels impossible to let anyone else in. Even this guy I fancy on a night out, if I was to make a move I’d do nothing but feel the guilt. Just constantly guilty all the time. The thing is I don’t know her ex that well, we’ve only recently started to talk and become friends, so I don’t know if the person he’s showing me he is, is actually real. My brain has convinced me that maybe he’s lying about everything she did to him (even though she’s done this before with her other ex in exactly the same way so it wouldn’t surprise anyone) and apparently like everyone who knows her knows how horrible she is, so I don’t know who to belive at this point. My ex ain’t much better but I’m talking about him telling me about her, for my issue my ex is the bad guy, but for him his ex is. I’m just struggling with guilt

how do you all deal with intrusive thoughts and the false memories that come along with them?

I keep thinking about my intrusive thoughts intentionally, I'm not sure why though, I hate these thoughts I'm pretty sure of but I also feel like I want them so I intentionally think of them to satisfy "myself" because I'm thinking them intentionally. I'm scared. I think I'm scared. Everything feels wrong

I had an ocd episode late this morning and I can't keep living myself like this. I wrote on my journal I feel like s****** is the best option for me. What made everything worse is I requested time off on june 1st because I was going on a day trip to see my sister. My manager denied because other ppl request time offs that day and my request was already too late. It's so frustrating because it's a part time job and I'm only scheduled to work only 4 hours (I had times where I worked a 3 hour shift) twice or even once a week. Whenever a shift is available, I always take it because I need I need the money. The one day I take a day off, I get denied. I can't switch shifts with anybody because no one won't be available.I can't afford to quit because in today's climate, it's so hard to find another job. It's just everything has been so difficult lately. With ocd, my life does not matter anymore.

I need help or resources. I am having a terrible OCD episode since yesterday night! Anxiety was bad last night when going to bed. I just don’t know what to do!

I have adhd and ocd so I have no short term memory and my ocd loves to feed on that. Sometimes I try and force myself to remember things to try and improve my adhd symptoms, but I can’t tell if these are me trying to push through adhd or doing mental compulsions for ocd. Like I’ll think to myself “what if you forgot to wash your hands free going to the bathroom before you touched your phone?” Which may be true , and then I get bored and don’t want to continue the thought , but the thought makes me anxious so I force myself to relive the memory to see if I washed my hands or not. I can’t tell if this is me just trying to improve my memory or if I’m doing mental compulsions. I wish I had a different brain. Every time this happens it hurts my head. I can’t tell if I should stop or push through to remember.

Hi guys, I was playing a video game tonight relaxing, when I forgot what I was thinking doing and then got anxiety because of not knowing my OCD? I hate anxiety it’s the worst! What should I do about forgetting and the anxiety?

I’m feeling so hopeless. Every aspect of my life has been affected by ocd. Every single part of it. Every action that I take, ocd. Every thought I have, ocd. I don’t know how much longer I can do this for. I’m really not seeing a way out of it. Every relationship is affected. The person I love the most in this world, ocd affected. I don’t have anything anymore. I hate myself so much. I hate that I let my ocd ruin my life.

From what I'm understanding with ERP, we aren't supposed to do any of our compulsions or anything to comfort ourselves when we have these thoughts. I just don't see how I'm ever going to feel better if I can't do anything to comfort myself so that I can feel better. I hope that makes sense. Anyone able to explain how this works?

Im really anxious , i feel like i have an attraction towards a cousin relative of mine , an i know ill never act on it but im freaking out . I try to jus forget it but whenever it pops up i feel disgusting like im so anxious , to make matters worse i have a partner and its giving me urges to tell my partner , an im freaking out. I dont like this , is there anything i can do to fix this or sooth my nerves

I had such a horrible thought! Sometimes I can’t tell if they’re on purpose or accidental but my mind said a thought about “I reject God” then it said “with your heart”. I immediately started freaking out! I still feel the anxiety and fear. I’m trying so hard not to cry my eyes out. I did cry a bit but I’ve prayed for God & Jesus to please forgive me! I can’t live without them! I love Him so fricking much! To have a thought like that hurts so much! It bothers me! Makes me feel so much guilt and shame! I would NEVER say that or even want to think that but my mind is questioning did I think that on purpose or was it my OCD? Sometimes the blasphemous thoughts “feel” on purpose. Please any advice?! Does God still love me?! Will He forgive me for this thought?

I love my bf, he’s amazing, but there are certain things that I’m really struggling to get over and I’m genuinely starting to think it’s not ocd (for context I’m not diagnosed right now). He’s super great but one thing that really bugs me and stresses me out is the fact that there are times when he sounds really whiny like a child, it’s not even that he’s doing it consciously or with the intent to whine, sometimes he just sounds like a child. And because it’s not something he’s doing intentionally and sometimes it’s just the way he sounds, it’s not something he can necessarily change, and I don’t want to constantly be picking him apart every time he does it. But it’s brings me so much stress and anxiety because it’s kind of a turn off for me and I’m worried that if I don’t like it that means I don’t like him and I should leave. I don’t want to have turn offs, especially because he’s so amazing, but that one is. And it’s worrying. I’m worried I’ll always be bugged by it and it’ll only get worse. But I love him and I don’t want to leave. But in that moment it feels like I’m turned off and annoyed and concerned at the fact that he sounds and acts that way, and it brings be so much stress. I feel like I catastrophize little things. I worry that if anything is a turn off I should take it as a gut instinct. And I don’t know what to do. I’m scared, and so mentally exhausted. And I don’t want to hurt him with my thoughts and feelings. Please help.

Does anyone else seem to do compulsions in their dreams? It’s hard because it seems like I am getting intrusive thoughts and doing compulsions in my dreams. It’s honestly like I never get a break and I am just so tired. Does anyone else feel this too? It’s just so weird how your obsessions AND behavior can transfer over into your dream state. Just a different aspect of OCD that I have been dealing with recently. Didn’t know if anyone else has felt similar?

Does anyone else feel like they’re just spinning their wheels? I left my last job I was at for 3 years because my ocd was telling me that the reason I was getting worse was my job. Now I’m working from home and it’s significantly worse. I keep switching therapists because I feel like I’m getting worse and psychiatrists because I’m too scared to take the medicine. I’m just at a loss and my anxiety is 24/7 which makes me just freeze and not able to do anything to help myself. Has anyone else felt like this please just tell me it gets better. I know it’s easy to say just take the medicine or whatever but I’m so scared it’s going to make me worse and idk if I can handle worse. 🙃🙃🙃