- Date posted
- 1y
Terrible urges
I'm struggling really badly with terrible thoughts and urges. I feel I'm going crazy. Im a kind person and I can't cope with it.
I'm struggling really badly with terrible thoughts and urges. I feel I'm going crazy. Im a kind person and I can't cope with it.
OCD rears it's ugly head all the time. What I do is I try and distract myself to pencil doodle on a pad and the next thing I know I've made art. I have this huge poster paper taped on my wall, everyone else thinks it's my art. Lol Little do they know it's a distraction and they don't have to know. I get so many compliments.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Most of us have been there. Basically, you are suffering from the "what-ifs," and their siblings, the "would I, could I, am I, do I, oh no!" thoughts. One thing you can do is stay in the present: what am I doing, or not doing NOW? What am I plotting or not plotting NOW? Do I have a choice? This helps to neutralize the What-ifs, etc. If you haven't already done so, please consider getting into therapy with a TRAINED OCD, therapist who uses ERP therapy. It can be a reall game-changer. You can find a lot of very good ones through NOCD, or you can access the International OCD Foundation's website. IOCDF has a list of approved therapists based on geography. Hope this helps. Hang in there. Just remember that a thought is a thought is a thought, not a threat or an action, just a thought. An intrusive thought is no more of a threat than a thought about ordering a pizza.
I deal pretty heavily with this. The last couple days, I’ve had what I think are urges. Something pops into my head intrusively and then what stems from that is me WANTING to just indulge in it even though it’s gross. I get worried bc I used to struggle w thoughts about my dad for a long time until eventually I just purposely thought of him while self pleasuring and got off to it. While that’s something I did, it is NOT me. It all stemmed from my mental health declining a couple years back, I was never this way before. So I get worried that it almost happened or might happen with my pocd cuz I could never live with myself if it did.
i’m back in a cycle of having harm related OCD thoughts and feelings and urges and i get these episodes where it’s like i’m disassociating and feel like i’m about to snap and go crazy violent. does anyone else experience this? i need help
Recently ive been getting very scared to even be angry bc of the horrible thoughts I have and it feels even more real when I'm angry or even annoyed. Rn I was not even super annoyed at my neice but I felt a twinge of annoyance since she went up to my face and was yelling at me while I was resting on the bed and I got this image of doing something bad to her and I felt my hand twitch very little. I got nervous and felt relieved when her dad told her to stop screaming for no reason. I've been hyperfocusing on my bodily reactions (mainly my hands or how I'm feeling like did I just enjoy that? Was I considering???) And I've noticed the small twitches whenever I'm mad or annoyed and it's scaring me so bad! Like do I want to act out? Am I holding back??? I used to not even twitch at all when mad and I felt 100% sure I'll never act out but now it feels like I don't know bc what do these twitches mean?, I do know I don't want to ever act out but it's so scary. Recently whenever I feel angry once the argument is over I cry really bad after I'm alone and I pray so i never want or act out. And when the annoyance passes I also feel so guilty and want to stay away. Im scared these are real urges and i research for many many hours to make sure they arent urges or impulses and i also tend to ask chatgpt or here if the anxiety gets so bad 😕
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