Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I started doing ERP and I absolutely hate it! It feels like I actually like and want the thoughts 😭

Ok so I am getting married next year. My fiancé and I have been living together for a long time. I honestly am so worried about getting married to him, because of my most disturbing thoughts about my physical attraction to him. This thought originally came up when confronting the major life decision of moving in together, and it hasn’t stopped since. I feel sick, because a lot of times these thoughts and disturbances come up when I see him and actually don’t feel attraction to him. Almost every day I have these thoughts and think that I am hurting him by marrying him. On the other hand, I don’t want to deprive myself of something that I’ve always wanted, and I don’t want to be alone. Both of these fears seem like OCD, so it seems like the universe isn’t telling me the right decision to make. Help?

Hi guys, trying to hopefully get some opinions. I am very confused about whether or not I actually need treatment. I recently had an intrusive thought that disturbed me deeply, I ruminated for about 2 weeks and felt so much shame and guilt around it. After that, I started to feel much better and my brain started realizing that I have no need to feel shame because it’s just a thought. I started looking into OCD and found that this feeling of overwhelming shame and intrusive thoughts are common symptoms. I just dont know at what point I actually seek out treatment, or if I just say “ok, we seem to be moving past this, I think we’re good”. Is this OCD? Was this just a panic response to a bad thought? If anyone could offer insight, I would really appreciate it. Thanks!

From what I’ve seen from quite a few people on here and Reddit, dealing with intrusive thoughts during “private” time seems to be something i and many others sadly deal with. I’ve “sort of” gotten used to it but I wish I can enjoy myself sexually the way I used to before these thoughts took over my mind. It’s literally what started the POCD obsession for me in the first place, and why it’s so hard to believe it’s OCD when these thoughts are so prevalent when I’m engaging in something sexual. I always feel reluctant to actually do the deed sometimes cause of how present the thoughts are before I do it but I force myself to cause avoiding it isn’t gonna help. And honestly, I just want to get it over with before my sex drive and these thoughts clash and make it infinitely worse. I try my best to focus on what I know I want (gay porn) but it’s like windshield wipers during a storm. I see clearly for like 5 seconds then boom there’s something that shouldn’t be there and I have to stop. Over and over again. It’s even worse when I finish and it finds its way back on mind when it should be the last thing on it at such a moment. I can’t believe the one thing I used as a stress reliever is now something that cause me nothing but stress.

When he was a newborn I gave my baby an open mouth kiss (jaw opening) on his head. I’ve never seen anybody else kiss their kids like that. He’s almost a year old and I can’t get past it. I do it on camera on my hand in mirrors and on used to do it on my son’s head and cheek as a checking compulsion. One time I was checking on his cheek and he turned his head so it landed on his lips. I feel disgusted. I feel like that’s something that only happens between romantic partners. Also when he was 3-4 months old I was lightly stroking his back, the side of his leg, and then the inner thigh. I felt an intense amount of anxiety the entire time. I feel like I SA’d him with the inner thigh part. I’d compulsively check to see how far the crease of his diaper was from his private out of fear. I just want to be a good mother but I feel like a monster.

Hey, this is my first post and I just need to get this off my chest. I’ve been suffering since 2019 now which feels like forever and in fact makes it feel more real as I can now remember back to times where I was struggling with this. I have had periods of calm but seem to have a flare up every year. I am yet to receive therapy but have been on Zoloft and am currently on Prozac. I am really disturbed by an image in my head that I may have done something sexually inappropriate with one of my dogs and have been suffering with this for years. I can’t work out if it’s a memory or not as it’s hazy but the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. It confuses me as I feel like if it had happened I would’ve felt guilty at the time and not just remembered it years later. I’ve always found bestiality abhorrent and can’t understand why I have the image and feeling of me doing this. He has recently passed away which caused a massive relapse as I’m now constantly upset that I can’t remember him properly and whenever I think of him I just get triggered which is distressing as I love him so much. I haven’t been able to get over this and just wanted to see if anyone could relate to this. I’m terrified of myself. I can’t tell my friends or family as I’m so ashamed by the content of my suffering and I feel so alone

Don't be weak say this to your OCD 'so what' and 'shut up' literally this is gonna help you so far this helped me in tackling with my every theme and forcing myself to enjoy my life and playing sports also helped me alot I hope this post will be helpful for others as well If I can so can you 😁✨

I'm already going through so much. I just wish I could get it into my head that these memories of bad things are actually memories of intrusive thoughts I had that day, and not of real actions, because a person with OCD would never do what they most repudiate and abhor and which goes against their principles, and at that time I was already dealing with OCD, I was already avoiding small things for fear of causing harm. I didn't check everything like I do today because I didn't know how the rituals worked, but I always tried to be vigilant so as not to harm anyone, because the intrusive thoughts were intense and I was afraid they would come true. Apart from the fact that my little cousin has never changed with me, he loves me so much, he's affectionate, there's never been a sign that I've hurt him. He remembers little things from back then, he would remember something bad, right? But then it comes into my mind that he was asleep/sleepy and so might not remember. All the bad possibilities run through my mind and sometimes I get distressed, because I love him so much and it horrifies me to imagine that I might have done something bad to him. I don't have the strength to deal with all my problems and these OCD issues, I just want to come to a conclusion and get on with my life, because as well as the OCD I have other problems, such as my finances. Jesus, I feel like I'm going mad sometimes. I've talked about it here before, I know it's wrong to seek confirmation, but I need to get it off my chest, I'm already in physical pain from other problems, so having all these things on my mind makes it worse. I just wanted someone to help me, I'm desperate.

ocd has been apart of my life since i was really little. and it’s taken over my life completely, causing other mental illness’ like anxiety. it’s hard for me to even get a job because i get so anxious and feel like everyone hates me. i haven’t worked in a really long time because i’m too scared of what people will think of me. i’m perfectly normal but i feel like i’ve been isolated from people besides my family for so long that i don’t know how to interact. i’ve never once been on a medication to treat any of my mental illness’ because i’m scared it will get rid of my the creativeness that ocd has given me (throughout the years i coped with it by trying to see the positive in my ocd even though it has hurt me so much) but i feel like i can’t move forward without facing these problems i have. does therapy/medication help? i need to feel happy again

Is it normal to be a month into ERP and still obsessing. On average how long before it makes it go away. I feel like its making it worse.

How can I go about getting a proper diagnosis if my health care provider isn’t knowledgeable about OCD? Right now I’m going through a lot of “pure” OCD thoughts surrounding things like relationships and I’m worried if I try to get diagnosed my provider would overlook it because my obsessions and compulsions are mental. I also only really have one theme at a time, so it becomes tough when all the question they ask are nothing about the theme I’m struggling with currently. I don’t know what to do. I feel like if I’m not officially diagnosed that I’m lying to myself and to others.

Anyone else get a really horrible intrusive thought then it just replays on loop in your Brain like literally the same sentence over and over and over again!!

Having a tough morning today. Yesterday afternoon and evening was good and felt at peace. A thought popped into my mind last night and now in a spiral this morning. Trying to sit with it and not engage with all the intrusive thoughts.

Kinda really anxious because I am afraid I might have borderline personality disorder, except I constantly am afraid that I might have mental disorders that I’m not diagnosed with. Wondering if other people with OCD deal with themes of obsession over mental disorders. Or if this is borderline personality disorder, and instead I am creating different personalities based on different disorders I keep thinking I have. I have been diagnosed with OCD but in my comments it was mentioned that I showed some symptoms of OCPD and BPD but not enough to diagnose

I need help someone plz help I keep getting thoughts and physical urges about girls and I feel that I’m getting aroused. I don’t know what to do I don’t want to be with a girl I keep getting images about my sister arms and I xojld care her veins and I know that I like men with veiny arms but I keep getting a reliant that I like My sister with it I don’t what to do I don’t have anyone to talk to u I feel like I am alone. In Islam I don’t know if it’s true or not but god says to the fetus 77 times if u want to come to this world and god shows his or her life to it till his death. I wonder what did I see in this world that I agreed to come here I don’t want to live anymore I’ve had enough no one understand I want to go back to normal I don’t want to be with a girl I’ve never imagined my life with a girl I’m having 5 tablets a day of medication and I’m becoming worse I can’t focus I can’t remember certain things

I was so tired today until I turned off the lights and got into bed. Everytime im in bed I start ruminating and panicking and it just doesn’t stop. Sometimes I won’t be able to calm down until it’s 4 am. I’m just so frustrated

even though i really don’t want to kill anyone, it feels inevitable. like one day i’m going to snap and it’s going to happen. the thought of that keeps me so scared and stuck.

My mom wont let me go on medication, I don’t know what to do. I just want my mind to go quiet, everyone hates me and my boyfriend is also annoyed and made fun of my OCD. I just feel so alone

I need some help, my intrusive thoughts and counting compulsions have been very present during seggs with my boyfriend. Does anyone know how to deal with this?

I am going to talk about medications. Please do not read if you feel triggered. Hi, first of all I'll talk about my OCD. I think I have pure OCD and other types of OCD that I can't categoryzing. I always feel anxious about forbiden sexual things (behaviors, thoughts etc.), betraying friend of valentine, having doubts about myself such as "am I a pedo? Did I feel discomfort when I felt gronial responses?" etc. Because of my OCD I am having trouble in my life especially socially. I broke up with my boyfriends, I had lots of arguments with my friends, once I even talk about my obsessions with my brother (he is kind to me but I felt weird). Also my educatinal performance, my daily life, my health, diet is getting worse. Because I can't find the energy that I need. I start my therapy journey 3 months ago. I tried to have therapy before but I dropped out. But now I have really trouble with my OCD. I use Selectra (100 mg) medication. It is an SSRI. I don't think it is enough for me. Tomorrow I have an appoinment. I am going to talk about this. I need to talk about medicines actually. I know it might be dangerous. But at least I need to learn what are medicines that actually help to OCD. What are you using and how it feels?