Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I was so tired today until I turned off the lights and got into bed. Everytime im in bed I start ruminating and panicking and it just doesn’t stop. Sometimes I won’t be able to calm down until it’s 4 am. I’m just so frustrated

So a few weeks back I shared that I was called in to speak with counselors at my school about a film project that I'm in the process of making. I decided to make it about raising awarness on ocd focusing on the more taboo parts since nobody likes to talk about them. I covered sexual and violent intrusive thoughts plus groinal responses, urges, and intrusive thoughts that can sound demanding like "i am this bad thing" or "i will do that bad thing". They said that they believed me and the information on my script and that they were just making sure that I was ok and doing alr with my disorder. They asked if they could speak with my therapist and I said yes because I wanted them to learn more with her. I gave them her info and then a few days later I got called in again to speak with counselors again, plus the principal AND vice principal, AND the school cop bc according to the counselors my therapist said that I had pocd and since I have an internship through the school where I leave campus to go work with kids it would be "too triggering" to be around them for so much time. I felt horribly betrayed by my therapist and in our following therapy session I spoke to her about how upset I was that she did that bc the school DID end up removing me from my internship but then she showed me PROOF that it was never her original idea but the counselors' idea bc my script brought up a demanding intrusive thought on pocd. I NEVER spoke in the first person in my script and never shared my own personal experiences but since I raised awarness on all of these taboo themes and even in ways where they sounded demanding the counselors simply ACCUSED me of having pocd without any evidence and accused me of being a pedophile. I've been told by many people that what they did is discrimination and that I should take legal action and sue which I'm in the process of trying to get a lawyer consultation but I'm in my senior year and I'm just dealing with so many things already. I fear being counter sued and the crazy possibility that I might get arrested w no evidence. I also fear graduation being at risk and my part time employment AT THE SAME PLACE THAT I HAD THAT INTERNSHIP AT being at risk. I also wanna study to become a teacher and actually DO have pocd so this whole situation has been really triggering to me and I've experienced a lot of setbacks due to the discrimination I faced from school admin. I turned 18 days before being discriminated against so I don't have to have my parents involved in the case (who I haven't fully opened up to abt my pocd), but I'm just glad it probably means they won't fully find out abt this situation. Any advice, tips, lawyers in south florida?

even though i really don’t want to kill anyone, it feels inevitable. like one day i’m going to snap and it’s going to happen. the thought of that keeps me so scared and stuck.

My mom wont let me go on medication, I don’t know what to do. I just want my mind to go quiet, everyone hates me and my boyfriend is also annoyed and made fun of my OCD. I just feel so alone

I need some help, my intrusive thoughts and counting compulsions have been very present during seggs with my boyfriend. Does anyone know how to deal with this?

I am going to talk about medications. Please do not read if you feel triggered. Hi, first of all I'll talk about my OCD. I think I have pure OCD and other types of OCD that I can't categoryzing. I always feel anxious about forbiden sexual things (behaviors, thoughts etc.), betraying friend of valentine, having doubts about myself such as "am I a pedo? Did I feel discomfort when I felt gronial responses?" etc. Because of my OCD I am having trouble in my life especially socially. I broke up with my boyfriends, I had lots of arguments with my friends, once I even talk about my obsessions with my brother (he is kind to me but I felt weird). Also my educatinal performance, my daily life, my health, diet is getting worse. Because I can't find the energy that I need. I start my therapy journey 3 months ago. I tried to have therapy before but I dropped out. But now I have really trouble with my OCD. I use Selectra (100 mg) medication. It is an SSRI. I don't think it is enough for me. Tomorrow I have an appoinment. I am going to talk about this. I need to talk about medicines actually. I know it might be dangerous. But at least I need to learn what are medicines that actually help to OCD. What are you using and how it feels?

NF. I didn't even know I had ocd until an old friend of mine introduced me to NF. He has Ocd and raps/ sings about his struggles. I just want to share some of his tracks that helped me. The search Leave me alone If you want love Time Happy Hope

Hello, So I am On the waiting for list for ERP. I have looked into it , as I am nervous for It however I’ve heard that it’s quite difficult and can be mentally straining. I am quite stubborn in myself , as like I don’t want to change myself . As I am scared , worried, and I have been managing for a while now. Why do I need to change. However , I know it’s for the best. Basically I am asking. Has anyone done ERP - how did you feel. Also , how many sessions is there. As I’m worried if it s a maximum I feel like I’m being rushed.

So just to clarify, I don't want or need reassurance. I'm just venting. Today I'm selling a car to a big dealer that's a multi million pound business and I'm going to lie to get a bit more money because I've struggled financially so bad for the last year. I know they'll end up just auctioning it off. It stresses me out due to my moral scrupolosity so this is erp for me. Lies, especially white lies caused a lot of grief for me during my life so its hard for me to justify doing it. This is more a case of needs over wants. Gahhhhh 🤯😞

hii everyone, so, it has been about 2 or 3 years I’d say since I’ve been dealing with this. let’s just get right into it, so first, whatever I have (which might be OCD, I’m not entirely sure what it is) has taken over basically most of my childhood, and what kills me is that I’ll never get it back. one thing I know is that im not normal, i now get sleepless nights. why you may ask? because of my horrifying thoughts, “if you don’t look up you’ll be praying to the devil and you’ll go to hell!” “if you don’t say ‘God bless them’ their condition will happen to you!” “if you don’t say ‘good yetho 2x’ (idek..) ‘your mom will die 5x’ you’ll die and forget how to read. “if you don’t put your arms up, look directly up at the ceiling because if you look down you’ll pray to the devil so you need to look up, and say ‘Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you forgive me for my sins in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.’ you’ll go straight to hell!” or whenever I touch a wall, i need to touch it with my small finger because if I touch it twice with my pointer finger my body will go to hell. it’s an endless cycle, and what’s even worse is that I may never be able to get help. I’ll never get that life back that I wanna live, and it kills me. I’ve named most of the compulsions and obsessions I have and I have 18 compulsions that are physical and about 5 obsessions that I really don’t wanna name right now. anyway, i really don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve done a lot of research regarding around disorders, and it’s safe to say that I may have OCD. Now, do i want ocd? absolutely not. however, there’s a family member in my family who has it. so the chances of me having it are strong, i don’t think I’m able to get better until I’m 18. an adult. I’m 12 years old, my mom has noticed my compulsions and me repeating certain words. but she does nothing, absolutely nothing. instead, she just argues with me over it. if I ever tell my mom to sit down and ask her about getting a test, she would probably call me the R-Slur and tell me I’m crazy. Therefore, I’m all alone in this situation with no one to help me. another obsession I have is about me catching cancer if I don’t do a compulsion or I might get paralyzed and get sleep paralysis. It’s so horrifying, there’s more obsessions and compulsions I have but I really don’t wanna name them right now. I cry almost every day because of how exhausted I am, and how much help i truly want to get but I don’t think I ever will. I’m unsure whether or not I have ocd, people tell me to get a diagnosis. but the situation I am in right now makes it impossible. i have no way of getting tested but I have a good feeling I have ocd, if you’re reading this, please try to give me your thoughts and what I should do, and if I even have OCD. Thanks! :))

Does anyone else have this really weird thing where if the weather reminds u off a bad ocd trigger, when the weather isn’t just right, for me it’s the awkward temperature between winter and summer, it reminds me of the days I had very bad ocd and it triggers severe anxiety and I just want to be inside and avoid feeling the temperature? I get this with this specific drink from boba as well. If I drink it I’m convinced it makes me worst and spiral. I’m so scared. I suffer from PURE O and SOOCD and health OCD & death mainly.

From the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep, my mind is spinning with the same thoughts over and over and over again without stopping. It feels like my brain is all over the place and I can’t control it anymore!!

when im on no contact w my ex i feel broken apart and miss him so much but i liked the feeling of trying to move on and seeing if i could finally be w someone else but i literally couldnt do it and realized i couldnt move on from him and now i feel guilty for even having the feeling of wanting to be w anyone else so we got back tg but when im w him i have a million intrusive thoughts abt finding other guys attractive and other crushes etc and i cant tell if theyre just thoughts or if theyre genuine feelings because they feel super real and ive always had a problem for months now of finding other guys attractive / wanting attention from other guys even tho i never wanted to feel that way and thats why we had broken up but now im stressed bcs i only want to like and love him and only find him attractive but sometimes ppl say things like hes the most attractive guy which i used to believe and then after all these thoughts i disagree in my head even tho i dont want to cuz i know hes attractive and i want to feel that hes the most attractive in my eyes but its hard with a million things and feelings running around in my head

No matter what I do I can’t stop ruminating thoughts. I feel so frustrated. My mind is so loud and the thoughts are just on a loop. I feel paranoid and can’t stop obsessing. Anyone have any helpful suggestions? 😣

Hi there my fellow OCDers, This question has been on my mind for some time. I read a good few posts on this forum and often wonder why quite s few of us haven't tried therapy specifically using ERP yet . I know there must be many reasons, financial, too many commitments, previous bad experience with therapy, etc. I may be wrong and would love to hear other views on this, but in my case and I suspect quite a few others.....the reason was fear, that the therapy would prove my fears to be true. In our minds we debate what we fear in the hope of proving those fears to be untrue.....which as we all know, never works. But the anxiety of starting therapy, for me at least, was that the therapy would somehow prove my fears to be true. So staying away from therapy, at least keeps us hoping we're somehow safe , even if we're totally unhappy. The truth is, therapy doesn't do this.... that's not it's role......it won't prove we are bad or evil people, it's purpose is to help us out of the dead end that OCD has brought us to, and to help us find peace in our minds and some happiness in our lives again. So I would say to anyone out there, who believes they are guilty of something they really fear...... therapy won't expose you as a bad person....it will truly help you, once you commit to it..... Again would love to hear other views on this, love to you all 🙂

I feel like over a week ago I had about 4 really GOOD days in a row which I’ve never had before! I was able to concentrate a lot more I still had the thoughts but it was usually just the same one that popped up every now and again, no new ones and I really felt like this was the start of getting better. Well fast forward to now im on day 3 of really bad days!!! My awful intrusive thoughts are on loop again I can’t seem to concentrate, im constantly ruminating!!! I feel like I’m constantly creating new thoughts in my head that are awful!! I’ve started mindfulness again which I feel just have been what helped me have the good days because that’s the only thing I’ve stopped really. Anyone who else gone through this??????

Can intrusive thoughts be so intense? It seriously feels like someone else is in my brain. My thoughts consist of “What if I just..” “It would be so easy…” and they are horrible so so so horrible. I hate these thoughts so much but why do they feel this way. I would never ever do any of these things but sometimes I can’t help but think what if I do? What if I give in. It’s so terrifying. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts that genuinely feel like it’s you for a second and then you feel immense regret?

I'm having issues with hit and run ocd recently. It's very hard for me to even drive anywhere anymore. Everywhere I go I feel like ive hit someone's vehicle without me noticing, even though there isn't any damage to my car I can't stop thinking that I've side swiped someone or hit someone's car while backing out or something and didn't feel it. Has anyone else dealt with this? If so, was there a way you could make the thoughts go away? It's all I can focus on and it's giving me a sort of task paralysis where I'm so focused on the thoughts I can't get anything I need to do in my daily life done.

Ughhhh I have a new theme today that I’m a psychopath and I can’t shake it. I’ve taken some quizzes and I have a low chance. But I just fear I’m actually a terrible person and can’t heal from my past mistakes. Can anyone relate?

Anyone have any intake or advice on what to do with regards to trying to sleep but your OCD won’t stop having you think that emptying your bladder before bed even though you know it’s empty but your mind doesn’t think or feel right about it so you go repeatedly and develop a cycle?