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What’s the first intrusive thought you had that took you into an ocd spiral which eventually led to your proper diagnosis? This is a judgment free zone!

I clearly remember the day it started. I was in sixth grade in 1967 and like the flick of a switch I felt off one day. I kept thinking I had died the night before but was still moving around. It was so weird but it continued from then on, the intrusive thoughts, the constant moving around and racing thoughts about what has to be done that day. I’ll walk into a room to do something but end up doing several other things before getting to that. I’m 67 and retired but every day I struggle with unwanted thoughts (never about harming anyone or myself but about bad things that could happen. I think the worst in any situation. I’m so tired but know no other life. Glad to know I’m not alone.

And that everything has become really serious? I used to be such a happy go lucky guy who just took everything in his stride and now my whole life is about this ocd and trying to work out where it come from and what i can do to sort it out

Does anyone else make a list of things that they have been told during arguments, or offhandedly, that upset them or just pops up during rumination? The lists also usually include, for me anyway, things like "don't do x, don't do y, make sure not to say z, you always (something someone said)" and I look at them any time I have confrontation with the person or experience a stressor that includes the person. Sometimes just when I am obsessing about a conversation that I had, or might have. I just can't help it, I want to make sure I don't mess up. I want to do everything I can to not be what my brain decides is Bad.

The intrusive thoughts are taking over and I don’t know what to do I’m exhausted I’m tired of living like this I just want to be ok and not have give in to compulsions. I’m not able to breathe for a second because an intrusive thought pops up all the time I can’t control it I just want it all to stop the ocd, the intrusive thoughts, the anxiety , i can’t be myself and be happy when I’m being destroyed by this anxiety. I really thought I was getting better but I keep going backwards and I just want to be happy and be myself and live life to the fullest but how am I supposed to go about my day when the intrusive thoughts pop up every day. I don’t know what to do anymore I’ve tried distracting myself I tried journaling I tried stress gone vitamins, I can’t even sleep this is frustrating!!! It’s getting worse and nothing’s working

Here I am again after almost a year of thinking I was doing better but recently slumping back. Does anyone else constantly think of an event or mistake you made in the past and can’t let it go? I told my husband forever ago and he just wants me to let it go. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset. But to me it’s like it’s the worst thing imaginable and that I’ve ruined his trust in me and I keep feeling like I should bring it up and there’s things I’m not telling him even though I have literally told him everything. Please help.

I’m finding it very difficult to resist mental review – because your mind just wanders to it. Does anybody have any tips on how they do it?

Can be your intrusive thoughts just like normal thoughts (not commands and what if thoughts) for example like you are normaly thinking then a random (unwanted) thought just pops up like you would be thinking that but you actaully don’t want it (i hope that makes sence) please help

feeling awful right now- last night and this morning i was thinking about something and didn’t have any anxiety or shame around it. i then realized today how wrong that thought was and it caused me a lot of anxiety and shame, and now i can’t stop ruminating about it. i can’t stop thinking about the fact that i had that thought and didn’t really see an issue with it, and now i feel like a horrible person. i feel so much guilt and anxiety now, and i hate that i had that thought. has this happened to anyone else?

Anyone experienced something like this? I was never diagnosed with depression. However lately idk if my ocd is trying to latch on another theme but its questioning whether or not im depressed. Im scared of depression. The feeling in my stomach makes me think its depression. But the same feeling in my stomach is also one I feel with OCD flare ups. I did research symptoms of depression and was self checking. Anyone else experienced this?

Should I put videogames?? It's one of my favorite hobbies And it used to keep me from obsessing and from overthinking But I had an ocd flare 3 weeks ago and idk, my life just hasn't been the same, I feel panic, anxiety, things just doesn't feel the same, I haven't been able to play video games since I feel they could make me more anxious Is it ok to quit them??? Or should I try keep playing??

i’ve been posting a ton on here recently. my OCD is taking over. recently i’ve been playing this game on my phone for hours at a time for the last couple of days. today when i was about to fall asleep all my mind could picture was the game and all the features of the game. i couldn’t change it to anything else it always went back to the game , maybe bc i was focusing on it?? then i woke up and i thought it would be better because i did not dream about the game but now when i close my eyes for longer then a blink i still see a vivid image of the game and the features. it’s freaking me out and my ocd is telling me it’s gonna start happening when my eyes are open too. has anyone experienced this?

I’m going through one of the worst OCD spells in months. It sucks when you were doing so well but it hit you like a freight train. Like you think it’s over but it just comes right back stronger and more overwhelming. I keep thinking that maybe I don’t have OCD and I’m just making excuses for myself. Like “Oh I’m having OCD because of my period” “Oh it’s because I’m stressed” “Oh it’s the weather”. It feels too convenient! Like there’s always something that can cause it to trigger. It makes me feel like I’m mentally unstable and just making excuses for myself. It’s like I’m in a infinite loop of constant guilt and anxiety. It’s so tiring. I wish I could be normal and happy 😞

Hi all, I’ve just very recently gotten diagnosed. A month ago, I barely even knew what ocd was, and I’d thought my whole life that I was just strange. It’s now starting to feel like the more I learn about this disorder the more it seems like every single aspect of me is ocd; I’ve even been doing mental compulsions as early as 7 years old and I don’t know or remember what it’s like to be “normal”. Does anyone else struggle with this? Not being able to identify a “self” outside of the disorder?

Me and my online boyfriend have been broken up for a week because our mental health wasn't going great and we need to focus on our health first. After countless of stress and overthinking of many doubts and waiting for him, I am having many many many unwanted thoughts of a past ex and I have many worries all at once. self harming (hitting my head) is usually what I do to punish or correct my mind for even thinking such thing like ex from 9th grade. But I feel like after hitting my head so much, it made it more worse? TikTok and other social stuff is not helping me rn after seeing "soul ties" of ex's, relationships or mercury retrograde and it worsens. It makes me anxiety more worse. I don't know what to do and I'm more terrified than ever. All I wanted to do is wait for my online bf and believe in the good possibilities and hopes between us especially hope that we would reconcile when we are ready. As you know I really love this online boy and would never cheat or hurt him. Idc if we are apart I will wait for him and still be there for him yk. But my thoughts are so messed up and it's bringing like a feeling or werid emotion :( like a rushy feeling of unwanted excitement I suppose. I'm literally stuck. I'm stuck with these thoughts and I don't know what to do.

It's like sometimes (only sometimes bc im mostly obsessing), I dont care how I feel in that moment. Like Iam numb to anything. There is not happiness or sadness. Like I dont care what happens to me, dont care about my friends, family, life. When I know deep down thats not how I really feel. In reality, I love my life and family so much. I just cant feel it at the moment. My poor husband and kids. I have to keep telling myself that is my OCD and that Iam a good person that does actually care about everything... Its so sad

I keep having unwanted sexual thoughts or images in my mind and its really stressing me and my compulsion is to avoid and block the tought the thing is that i am a believer i dont and if do erp i am supposed to facd my thought and let myself think abt it but my rocd male me feel that i will have sins and that i can not let myself think such things so idk what to do abt this sexual thoughts

Does anyone else get moments of feeling like they are not normal or like they can’t connect with anyone socially? It’s a little hard to explain but I’ll be fine and suddenly the world feels so far out of reach. I hope it’s not just me. Knowing this is something that does happen to people with ocd would help me change the way i handle this. 😥

A few weeks ago I put up a post asking about what I suspect is depersonalisation after a really bad OCD episode, the main advice I got was to wear the depersonalisation and be okay and happy about it being there and it’ll go away. I tried that and it didn’t work, every time I try to act like it’s not there it just gets worse and worsens the worst part about it that I have been experiencing which is a loss of my identity, it makes me feel even more distant from my identity. I feel like I have really bad brain fog that’s preventing me from being able to process and understand those emotions I was experiencing during that bad OCD episode that made me go into what I suspect is depersonalisation. And just a quick note, I feel like what’s preventing me from going out of this whole depersonalisation is the fact that I feel like my bad OCD episode hasn’t been resolved and processed, I feel like I’m mentally still in that bad episode but physically I’m here right now. Any advice? :) thanks so much in advance.

About 4-5 months ago, I was walking to the grocery store and I noticed a tiny newborn pink runt mouse or maybe rat right on the curb. Eyes closed, must’ve just been born, but no mother in sight (which is why I assume it was the runt). There were a bunch of cars making the right turn for freshman move-in day at the college I live near. I had a dilemma — should I take this rat out of harm’s way and put it on the sidewalk? But then what if someone steps on it? Since it’s a runt and its mother is nowhere to be found, wouldn’t it just starve to death if I move it and it doesn’t get hit by a car? The only ethical choice was I have to pick it up and adopt it, but then I was like I don’t know how to even care for it and I may just cause more harm by doing that. Also being the stupid people pleaser I am, I didn’t want to “inconvenience” the oncoming traffic of stressed out parents moving in their kids. So I made a split-second decision and I just kept walking. I didn’t pick up the runt. I had a feeling it would get run over, and I almost turned around but I didn’t want people to look at me like what is this weird girl doing (if you can’t tell, I care way too much about what other ppl think of me). Anyways, I was walking back from the store, and of course, the runt had been run over and was completely dead. I feel like it was completely my fault for not picking it up and adopting it and I feel like I manifested the car to run it over too bc I had the thought that it would. I still think about this every few weeks or so, and I feel like a murderer. The guilt I feel about this event weighs so heavily on me. I have considered adopting a pet rat to “undo” my immoral behavior, but I know the regret and guilt would keep coming back even if I compulsively rescued a rat and it wouldn’t even be enough. What do I do?