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I’m trying to use the phrase anything is possible to get off of ocd. But I strongly believe what ocd is questioning didn’t happen. Do I still just agree that it’s possible but keep my belief that it didn’t happen?

Does anyone else make a list of things that they have been told during arguments, or offhandedly, that upset them or just pops up during rumination? The lists also usually include, for me anyway, things like "don't do x, don't do y, make sure not to say z, you always (something someone said)" and I look at them any time I have confrontation with the person or experience a stressor that includes the person. Sometimes just when I am obsessing about a conversation that I had, or might have. I just can't help it, I want to make sure I don't mess up. I want to do everything I can to not be what my brain decides is Bad.

I am a grad student in an online STEM program, and my career depends on my analytical skills, which mask my OCD. It has become debilitating (7 hours revising an email reply) and negatively impacts my social life (response inhibitions and shame) and my academic performance (excessive amounts of time spent on every task, resulting in easily found errors like unfinished sentences; cognitive impairments). Like, I have 7 planners and can't start a to-do list because it triggers my OC. My university is insufficient in my situation. Figuring out how to accomodate as a virtual student with neurodiversity/debilitating mental illness has been ridiculously exhausting. Despite communicating with every professor, the student accessibility services, and my department director, I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle alone. Everyone places such value in diversity, inclusion, and equity, but fail to actually have resources that support mental health conditions. Almost everyone I have contacted have no experience with OCD or how it works. Yes extended time of my due dates would be great, if it actually alleviated my anxiety and paralysis instead of extending masked compulsions. Asking chatGPT and trying to afford Grammarly premium is so far the only useful shit I've resorted to. I can't even mention AI because of how stigmatized it is from lack of information/tech literacy about it being a tool and not e-Satan.

The intrusive thoughts are taking over and I don’t know what to do I’m exhausted I’m tired of living like this I just want to be ok and not have give in to compulsions. I’m not able to breathe for a second because an intrusive thought pops up all the time I can’t control it I just want it all to stop the ocd, the intrusive thoughts, the anxiety , i can’t be myself and be happy when I’m being destroyed by this anxiety. I really thought I was getting better but I keep going backwards and I just want to be happy and be myself and live life to the fullest but how am I supposed to go about my day when the intrusive thoughts pop up every day. I don’t know what to do anymore I’ve tried distracting myself I tried journaling I tried stress gone vitamins, I can’t even sleep this is frustrating!!! It’s getting worse and nothing’s working

Here I am again after almost a year of thinking I was doing better but recently slumping back. Does anyone else constantly think of an event or mistake you made in the past and can’t let it go? I told my husband forever ago and he just wants me to let it go. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset. But to me it’s like it’s the worst thing imaginable and that I’ve ruined his trust in me and I keep feeling like I should bring it up and there’s things I’m not telling him even though I have literally told him everything. Please help.

I’m finding it very difficult to resist mental review – because your mind just wanders to it. Does anybody have any tips on how they do it?

Can be your intrusive thoughts just like normal thoughts (not commands and what if thoughts) for example like you are normaly thinking then a random (unwanted) thought just pops up like you would be thinking that but you actaully don’t want it (i hope that makes sence) please help

feeling awful right now- last night and this morning i was thinking about something and didn’t have any anxiety or shame around it. i then realized today how wrong that thought was and it caused me a lot of anxiety and shame, and now i can’t stop ruminating about it. i can’t stop thinking about the fact that i had that thought and didn’t really see an issue with it, and now i feel like a horrible person. i feel so much guilt and anxiety now, and i hate that i had that thought. has this happened to anyone else?

And even a bit angry when trying to stop ruminations and compulsions and how long should I expect to feel this way?

Hello again, I need help because I feel like I made a terrible mistake when I was child. I saw my brother topless through a reflection of computer screen and I remember like I was looking knowingly. Now I feel like I need to talk about it with him to do my compulsion but I am experiencing obsessions about my family for the first time and I can't talk about this mistake because it is harmful for my family and I love them. Do you also experiencing something like this? Do you feel exteremely guilty about something you did in the past and can not stop thinking about it? I don't know am I a bad person because I am hiding this mistake from him? But also I can't talk about it. How can I get over this situation?

Anyone experienced something like this? I was never diagnosed with depression. However lately idk if my ocd is trying to latch on another theme but its questioning whether or not im depressed. Im scared of depression. The feeling in my stomach makes me think its depression. But the same feeling in my stomach is also one I feel with OCD flare ups. I did research symptoms of depression and was self checking. Anyone else experienced this?

im very. tired. just drained. the past four or so weeks have taken everything out of me. the energy, drive, hope, etc. i would love to believe it's tied to school (im in my 4th week) but honestly its been the only thing keeping me from js throwing in the towel on everything (not saying in a self harm way, i mean as in js completely giving into the depressive episode). cant trust my dad. cant trust my mom. was already the case before, but gets worse and worse every single day. as in remembering or finding out abt things that fundamentally change the way i see them as people, let alone as parents. nobody in my family is aware of the actual details of my mental health/illnesses. not to say i want everyone to know everything, obviously NOT, but i don't have anyone to go to as my symptoms worsen, knowing i will either be called a liar or they'll tell everyone else. same with friends. not that i don't trust them, but im scared it'll either scare them away or they won't know what to say and ill be left feeling more alone than i already feel. im ashamed and im terrified of myself, of all the years ahead of me people keep talking about, unaware that everytime i think of the future, i think of the fact that some of my more severe symptoms/illnesses will never truly be gone. in fact, inversely, much is expected to worsen. im trying to act proud. they ask so many questions, and i give answers to appease. but i feel myself spiraling out again and i am so, so, so exhausted. my rituals... the handwashing, the magic number, the taboo intrustive thoughts, the skin picking and now the hair pulling (these two are now taking up most of my days home), etc. and the bpd, this empty pit i feel, these huge jumps between being so angry with someone and a moment later crying myself sick because i feel bad about the anger and interpret everything as rejection or conspiracy. then there's the visual and auditory hallucinations, the constant nagging in the back of my head telling me im being watched, im only acting human, everything i am saying is untrue and someone else is acting through me, unaided by the dizzying jumps from dissociating, depersonalizing, and hyperawareness... even writing this, i keep thinking i am lying. i am lying, everything i do is false, orchestrated, action taken through me from someone or something external, it's taking everything out of me. i can't sleep, then i sleep too much. the addiction, too. im not going to, nor do i feel necessarily the urge to, harm myself. im just tired. very tired. thinking of harming myself, actually, feels like such a waste of time and energy. i just want to let the world pass me by, drag me along with it, let it take over. ugh.

Should I put videogames?? It's one of my favorite hobbies And it used to keep me from obsessing and from overthinking But I had an ocd flare 3 weeks ago and idk, my life just hasn't been the same, I feel panic, anxiety, things just doesn't feel the same, I haven't been able to play video games since I feel they could make me more anxious Is it ok to quit them??? Or should I try keep playing??

i’ve been posting a ton on here recently. my OCD is taking over. recently i’ve been playing this game on my phone for hours at a time for the last couple of days. today when i was about to fall asleep all my mind could picture was the game and all the features of the game. i couldn’t change it to anything else it always went back to the game , maybe bc i was focusing on it?? then i woke up and i thought it would be better because i did not dream about the game but now when i close my eyes for longer then a blink i still see a vivid image of the game and the features. it’s freaking me out and my ocd is telling me it’s gonna start happening when my eyes are open too. has anyone experienced this?

I’m going through one of the worst OCD spells in months. It sucks when you were doing so well but it hit you like a freight train. Like you think it’s over but it just comes right back stronger and more overwhelming. I keep thinking that maybe I don’t have OCD and I’m just making excuses for myself. Like “Oh I’m having OCD because of my period” “Oh it’s because I’m stressed” “Oh it’s the weather”. It feels too convenient! Like there’s always something that can cause it to trigger. It makes me feel like I’m mentally unstable and just making excuses for myself. It’s like I’m in a infinite loop of constant guilt and anxiety. It’s so tiring. I wish I could be normal and happy 😞

I’m not sure what to label this under or if this is OCD. I just downloaded this app, have been diagnosed with OCD previously (no sun category) and just want some sort of help. I work as an auto tech in a small shop for the last 8 months (3 workers including myself). The boss and my superior are childhood friends (now in late 40s) and im 25, newly married and have a 18 month old. When they are stressed, especially my boss, I immediately jump to its something I did. So I seek out affirmation that it’s not and I feel it comes off annoying and like im not mature or just plain sensitive, which I know I am. I texted him last week apologizing for a mistake I made on a job and even called him about 3 hours later after not getting a reply because it was absolutely debilitating thinking that I’m going to get fired or how disappointed he was. He told me that it was ok and I needed to improve on not making mistakes as often and assured me he wasn’t thinking about firing me. Flash forward to this week he’s been stressed just about everyday with what seems like clients and a bigger job we have coming down the pipe and it’s driving me crazy that he’s not in the best mood and pretty snappy. I’m obsessing over the thought of being a disappointment, that I’m not going to be good enough to keep around and my questions and mistakes are what is aggravating him. Im afraid of losing my job and not being able to provide for my family or that my mistakes and frequent questions have put him in a weird position of not wanting to keep me around. It feels like I can’t breathe or think when the people around me are stressed and in a bad mood, and I can’t solve it for them. Thank you for reading this far, I feel alone and like I’m losing my mind. I bawl crying when I have moments alone in the gym or shower, I swallow it and smile to be there for my child and wife but my insides are inflating with fear and stress of performing to par at work and being enough for my boss and family. Has anyone experienced this, how do I get over this. Im on venlaxafine, propranolol and lamectal for anxiety and panic attacks. I’ve been like this in previous jobs, I just feel like this until everybody at work is happy, then I’m happy, until there’s another stressor for them and I’m right back in this boat. Thank you so much

Hi all, I’ve just very recently gotten diagnosed. A month ago, I barely even knew what ocd was, and I’d thought my whole life that I was just strange. It’s now starting to feel like the more I learn about this disorder the more it seems like every single aspect of me is ocd; I’ve even been doing mental compulsions as early as 7 years old and I don’t know or remember what it’s like to be “normal”. Does anyone else struggle with this? Not being able to identify a “self” outside of the disorder?

(18+ only) How do you cope with that feeling of not being deserving of good things? This event is from when I was 18-19 (I don't remember the exact age, I think 18). I was scrolling on tumblr reading NSFW anime comics and looking back one of them had underage characters. I dont know how I didn't realize because it was super obvious, they didn't even look like adults or teens but I didn't think twice about it because I wasn't seeking out underage stuff and it had lots of likes so I just read it and kept going not thinking twice about it. I mustve thought it was the art style or something, I have no clue how I didn't realize or register what i was readinf. I also think I have a false memory of saving a repost of it to my drafts. I'm pretty sure I only read it once and then scrolled on, but my OCD is telling me I saved it. I keep looking back feeling like I did something incredibly unforgivable. I dont know the legality of it either and I feel like a secret criminal. I don't know if my OCD is blowing this out of proportion but I don't feel like it is. Even if it was years ago, I still feel like I dont deserve good things, I feel like I can't be in relationships because they don't know the 'real' me. I feel like people lie when they say I deserve kindness. I'm nervous to tell my therapist too, I don't want to be judged. Idk.

I was recently talking about this with my therapist, and something recently dawned on me! I am wondering if you can resonate. With those who have been suffering from OCD and are aware of its themes and tendencies, have you ever been in the situation where you are entering a situation and in an attempt to prevent thinking about a thought you fear you might have in a familiar environment ( because you’ve have it before and expect it to come up again) only to get hit by that very thought you were trying to avoid. For example, I might have be driving and before I go think to myself “ don’t think about hitting someone don’t think about hitting someone” only to literally eventually trigger the exact fear inside that thinks I hit someone. Its almost like saying “ don’t think of the pink elephant don’t think of the pink elephant” and then all you do is end up thinking about the very thing you weren’t trying to think about! I have learned that it is sometimes better not to fight to prevent it from coming than just living your life and just being prepared when it does come. Because it’s not if, but when it happens again. Ocd is not smart. It uses the same thoughts and tricks to try and paralyze us in fear. Tries to make us think “ what if it’s real this time?!” Which only reinforces the broken record. Sometimes when you try not to think about something, it only makes you think about it more! Can anyone relate? Instead of being stuck in the probability of the future, I thank God for the gift of being able to remain in the present. Hope this brought comfort if you are experiencing this. It will get better! If the pink elephant comes, don’t throw fuel to the fire and wrestle with it. Acknowledge it , and refocus your attention on something new. You got this! Jesus’s girl 🩷

I constantly worry that no one likes me. Did grow up as the scapegoat but my parent passed away 7 yrs ago and now I have been in therapy as well as my mom but my other two siblings refuse therapy. So there has been some healing between me and my mom which I’m happy about! But I’ve also been scapegoated in friend groups mainly bc there will be one jealous friend and then they try to get everyone to go against me. Anyway I have met a few friends here and there that have really impacted my life in a positive way. However, I can’t help but ruminate on how “everyone doesn’t like me” and then I go down a rabbit hole of searching on tik tok, google and Reddit trying to find some magical answer as to what is “wrong with me” and why I have issues with people even some family and yet there is no answer except that people just project their negative feelings onto me, and many other people have experienced that as well. But yet I still keep feeling like there’s something innately wrong with me. Even my therapists validates my experience and has taught me boundaries and explains how I’m not the problem yet I still loop with this thought. I also think this is linked to another ocd thought because I always tell myself I need to hurry up and prove to myself that my siblings can get healthy and I can fix the family dynamic issues and then find a perfect group of friends so I will be “happy” and then I won’t supposedly suffer and want to d*e. By the way I am not suicidal so thats why it’s kind of like an irrational thought. I did have suicidal OCD though but would never do that. So idk? What is this?