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Okay I have to vent because I truly just feel shit today. Last night I had this horrible dream and right before this incident happened in the dream I had thoughts that I was aware it was a dream & also had this thought saying “I better do this because I’m dreaming” now this was actually a really fucked ip dream in the sense I had sex and got off over an old friend of mine that is a girl, I have a boyfriend I would never cheat on him ever!! I feel sick to my stomach because lucid dreams people can control themself in the dream sometimes but I’ve also heard that just because you may feel aware you’re dreaming at one point does not indicate you have control over the dream, many people can still not have control even when they are aware they’re dreaming… I have had many dreams where I’ve been doing things and somewhat seem like I’m enjoying it in the dream about things that repulse me such as anything sexual! That doesn’t make me feel good and if I had control over a dream I would dream about good things? Things I had a desire to do? I’m just asking has anyone else suffered with feeling slightly aware you are dreaming when you can’t actually control anything you do? I feel sick because I don’t want to feel like if I was in control that I would’ve gotten off and basically slept with someone besides my boyfriend… it actually makes me sick! I think having control over your dream takes a lot of practice! Which I have not and would not practice… I guess I’m just asking has anyone had a dream that is based off things you’re afraid of and ocd themes, and you might have an awareness that you’re dreaming but don’t actually have control, I think I even had a thought in the dream before this happened saying basically “well this is a dream so I better take advantage of this opportunity” which is freaking me out like is this a deep desire of mine? Was this a conscious choice I made in the dream and did I have control over this dream. Or do you think that if I had control I wouldn’t have acted in those ways! I’m just worried because especially the thought saying basically I’m dreaming so I better act on this situation because it’s a dream… does that mean I had control or it could’ve been an intrusive thought in the dream??

I spend a lot of time ruminating about my health and how I'm going to get past all of the thoughts I think of and the events that I think of in the past. It leaves me really nauseous randomly throughout my days. Anyone else get this from their OCD? It makes me worry more about my health

This is the worst my OCD has gotten! I’ve freaked out many times about harming my children, touching them inappropriately, etc. the other night I got blackout drunk and woke up and had thoughts of something specifically that I did to my 5 year old. It’s horrendous. Do you think it’s possible to become our worst fear when drunk? Do you think my son would wake up if I did something? This is awful! And I’ve been very suicidal since. I’m not sure how I can accept the uncertainty of this and move on. Yes, I’m in therapy.

That I hate that joke. It's made a bunch of people that have no idea the depths that it can bring people to.

Has anyone successfully conquered this type of ocd, if anyone does I really need to talk to someone and ask a few questions❤️

I’m not 100% sure that I have OCD, but I do have PTSD and some new intrusive thoughts were triggered a couple weeks ago. It feels like they have changed my whole perception of my life since then. Every experience that should be fun or relaxing is tainted with the horrible dread I feel when these thoughts creep in. I was really enjoying my life for a while before these new thoughts started and it feels like I have lost contact with that version of myself and my life. I’m afraid of these thoughts tainting things that I want to stay good and pure. I’m just feeling really lost about how to soothe myself and dig out of this

Had a new type of OCD though today which startled me and out of nowhere. “You can’t handle it.” You will eventually lose control no matter what you try and do.” Anyone else have this? And tips on how to fight back so it isn’t as strong next time?

Any thoughts on Meta OCD? Is that real?

Do someone here daydreaming and notice it goes wrong? And you getting so much anxiety and start thinking about it...? Like do you start thinking you did on purpose?

I’ve had OCD for a year now. At the beginning I didn’t have much anxiety, just a lot of intrusive thoughts, time passed, now I still do have intrusive thoughts but I have more depersonalization in a way I never heard of before & I need to know if it’s part of OCD or who else is going through this: I no longer feel real, like if my life is shown of a VR play, it’s not hard to remember past memories but definitely don’t feel like I’ve lived them, my brain feels so full in a weird uncomfortable way; like just how your physical body gets dirty with dirt, I feel that way but ofc on my brain. If I feel a tiny bit angry or feel any emotion by just a little, it extends so much more out of no where, overall I feel SO fake, I forgot what normal feels like, my pills won’t work currently waiting for my therapy, like I want to know who else is going through this please! go ahead & write how you feel also, I just don’t wanna be alone in this .. it’s completely out of my control now.

It wants me to engage in compulsions surrounding school in September to ensure I won't be a failure. I also am in the middle of my spring semester, worried about my math class but still pushing regardless. Anything? Guys please answer, this is scary, I'm afraid what will happen if I don't do the compulsions that I also have to do now and in September

When someone does something bad to me and people take their side without even knowing. My mind starts talking to itself. Like one side of my mind tells people that this is not true what you think. The reallity is opposite. And the other side of my side starts giving me answers from their side and put more blame on me and accuse me falsely like as if they would do this to mw. I dont want to think anything. I dont care what people thinks or if accuse me but my mind just wants to clear it up. Does anyone feels like this? How to stop thinking?

So I upped my Prozac dose to 40mg 4 days ago and the anxiety I’m feeling is HORRIFIC. The physical symptoms are horrible it’s like I can’t relax or try and calm down no matter what I do. Is this normal?? I’m going through a really bad ocd episode at the moment and the thoughts seem a little less scary in part thanks to ERP but I have such horrific anxiety right now I don’t even know what I’m anxious about anymore and it’s stressing me out.

Has anyone ever had an intrusive thought or false memory about a person and then some time later in the future that person says something like what your thought/false memory was about happened to them and you immediately think it was you even though you know it was just ocd and now you doubt and question yourself?

i remember when i was 13 i was on instagram and i used it to lol for porn videos and this one video came up and seemed normal to me and im worried that it was unethical or bad because they people weren't smiling like they just had straight faces and know i don’t remember what their face looked like because ive thought about it so much and what if they had a sad face and i can’t remember but i think i might be overthinking that aspect of it but they both seemed willing because of their body language and i don't want to be stereotypical but they were indian and people always say how sometimes indian men can treat indian women badly sometimes and i thought it would be okay to pleasure myself to witch i did but i stopped because i had this immense guilt after and felt suicidal because i was so scared that what if it wasn't ethical and im terrified ive done something wrong, im feeling awful right now and i dont know what to do.i always remember trying to be very careful of what i was watching but i am 16 and cant let go of this and its torture

Ok so this Friday I wanted to go to training and usually I’m always in a cabin alone bc the rest always splits up into different ones but I wanna stay alone. But then while I was standing there charging and using my phone, a little girl walked in. And now is the thing: based on all what k remember and that I know and am 100% sure happened that way, I instantly started to feel bad and decided to leave the cabin. I plugged out my phone, packed my stuff into my bag, put my jacket out first and then came back another time to get the rest of my stuff. But the thing is that the second I left the cabin, I started doubting „what if I had assaulted her?“ and like I still remember going to the toilet a couple of seconds after that and while being on the toilet I thought „yes no nothing had happened“ and I mean my memories were still extremely accurate there but the doubt wouldn’t leave me. Like I just kept thinking „but what if I did?“ and no matter how often I go back in my memories proving to myself that I literally hadn’t remembered this at any point and barely even saw that girl bc I just instantly ran out of the cabin and that that’s obviously not even the point of running away. I also remember I was on my phone right afterwards. So basically I was on my phone before she had walked in and right after. Makes not even a minute of not using my phone. And she only changed her shoes from what I know. I didn’t even look at her. But I keep and keep on doubting that. Even though I remember everything else really well. I even remember I had chuckled at something on my phone right before she had walked in and then stopped when I saw her and ran out of the cabin. I also remember that I was hurrying up extra much to get out as fast as possible. Basically I remember everything and I even thought pretty surely that nothing had happened maybe a minute after. But I’m still doubting that. Like, wouldn’t I remember that? Especially since I didn’t have any memory to doing this right afterwards.. Idk how to get rid of this thought like I know how to trust my memories but then I still doubt it even tho I know I’d remember it

I've been on Zoloft for about 39 days now and I've noticed a positive change. However, I've had an 'Aha!' moment. Sometimes, I get an intrusive thought and start to ruminate, but then something distracts me and hours later, I realize I stopped thinking about it. At first, I was worried, thinking, "Why am I not ruminating or trying to understand these thoughts? That's dangerous," because I often ruminate mentally. Then it dawned on me that my OCD had traumatized me into believing I needed to think constantly to protect myself from nonexistent dangers. I was so used to being trapped in my head, thinking it was keeping me safe, but it was actually keeping me from living my life. We're not meant to think all the time; we should be able to live without constantly checking our thoughts.

so I just wanna know if the ERP is working or not. I still have a lot of repetitive thinking, but I don’t get anxiety around it anymore. I’m more or less emotion wise. Just get annoyed and tired that it is still trying to be repetitive in my mind. So I’m just curious is the ERP working or do I need to push a little harder?

I'm starting my OCD therapy in two days and I'm nervous. I'm hoping this helps because my intrusive thoughts have returned with a severity after I experienced several losses within a week. My mind feels so heavy and the way this feels, feels different than the other times. Am I just not processing things which is making my thoughts worse? Probably, but I'm stuck. And I'm angry I'm having to go through all of this because of a medication that was supposed to help me. Does anyone else experience a kind of cloudy mind with intrusive thoughts and you feel unsure about everything?

So I'm doing erp and it's going well or at least it was a thought arrived this morning it said "what if the reason your not doing that action is because your scared" and I was like well yeah because that's not who I am and then it moves on when ocd is gone and the fear "what if you do that action" and I started to panic any advice now I'm worried about the future about a what if question I know I'm not in to or like at all. Because it goes against who I am.