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Ok little weird question here but does anyone else wake up feeling pretty normal and then feel their ocd set in a bit later? I’ve had this for 6 months now and these past few days I’ve noticed that I wake up completely fine but by the time I’ve come downstairs and let my dog out or made breakfast I feel like the ocd has “set in.” I can’t describe it any other way except my head feels fuzzy particularly in the front part of my brain. It’s almost like the ocd wakes up. This might be really off from what you guys are experiencing but I just want to know. Thank you 💛

my ocd isn’t so bad anymore but after dealing w intensely disturbing intrusive thoughts 24/7 for like a year i didn’t come out of that unscathed. i really don’t like myself at all. and i think so much of how badly i see myself is from this stupid disease. i hate myself so much. and the worst part is everyone thinks i’m happy cos i’m “functioning” again which is somewhat true. ln i was really struggling and i felt like i couldn’t call a soul bcos they think i’m thriving. can u be happy and still just hate yourself tho? idk if that makes sense. i am superficially happy w all the good things externally but i just don’t feel like it’s worth anything or i deserve it. probs not the right place to post it but it’s BECAUSE of my ocd, i thoight i was a horrible person for so long, now it’s over i’m just like used to hating myself and i can’t stop. i want to stop, i just need to vent. i can’t even cry. ocd broke me. i used to cry A LOt. and i think that’s good but now i just lie there, i remember the day something inside me broke and just went into survival mode. i want to be happy, idk if it’s possible

Hi all, this is my first post on here, which is a really big step considering posting on here, even anonymously, was something I initially avoided due to the fear that my anonymous posts would somehow get tracked back to me and would prevent me from getting a job in the future. That’s another story for another day, though. Right now I wanted to know if anyone else has a problem with not internalizing someone else’s words, even if you know they’re not directed towards you. I’m really struggling right now to not feel bad about myself or feel like I’m a bad person or that I can no longer express interest in something after seeing a video that was critiquing some negative behaviors of people in a fandom that I’m apart of it. Even though these behaviors can sometimes be common in this fandom, I know deep down that I’m not like that, and that I’m not interested in this thing for malicious reasons. I also know that I don’t associate myself with fans who are, and am actively bothered by those behaviors as well. However, my OCD won’t let me forget about the video I initially saw, and of course it was like I almost just had to read the comments too and see what everyone else was saying, which fueled the narrative my intrusive thoughts were already trying to push: I AM one of these fans the original video was critiquing and now everybody online hates me and I should just basically stop being interested in that thing anymore. This becomes even more of an issue considering that interest was my main motivation for actually cleaning and organizing my room. I had just recently bought some new things related to this interest and was looking forward to opening them up and re-organizing the entire collection of things related to this interest I have but now it feels like that excitement is gone once again and I feel like now I’ll never get to the cleaning my room so desperately needs right now. There’s definitely a lot of catastrophizing going on in my brain right now but it just sucks how you can be feeling fine and then something just triggers you out of the blue and you feel like everything’s been thrown off balance.

Does anyone feel like they “like” their intrusive thoughts? Like after a while the fear and the disgust you used to feel about the thoughts becomes numb and you wonder if you just like it? And that the thoughts are happening bc you just like and want that thing? I’m beyond confused. I (23F) still feel like on some level I know I want to be with men and end up with a man. But I’m growing unsure there’s a man that has what I need in a partner and am not happy in my current relationship which certainly isn’t helping my case lol. I’ve been dealing with this for almost 7 months and I’m so tired of the incessant thoughts and physical responses I feel like I should just give up and give in.

I’m really fucking worried that I don’t love my girlfriend and my compulsion is to love her or say that I do. It puts a pit in my stomach to think about and I’ve been falling back into old compulsions. I’m scared that I’m falling out of love with her even though she’s done nothing wrong and she’s so funny and smart and treats me with so much respect. We’ve been through so many rough patches (mostly with my mental health and OCD) and we’re moving in together at the end of the year. I’m so scared to lose her but I’m also scared that I want to lose her. Sometimes I feel calm when these thoughts happen and then I get scared about the calmness of it and then I freak out because I’m thinking I’m not in love with her. Sometimes when I say I love her I get a pit and the constant thought of “no you don’t no you don’t no you don’t”. I always make sure to take care of her and to cuddle and kiss her when I have the urge when I’m around her, and she sexually satisfies me, even if I’ve also been having a lot of fears of in my transition (MTF) that I’m going to become only attracted to men but also that doesn’t make much sense in that I used to get butterflies with her, and now I still sometimes do but I know that at least with the longer a relationship goes the less butterflies happen. I don’t know how I can just be content. I get scared that if I’m not obsessing over her then I don’t care. She’s most of what I think of but I don’t know if that’s a compulsion. I’m scared if I don’t think of her I’m going to forget her. Maybe it’s because we haven’t had a lot of time to be intimate/go on dates? I just need help because it’s gotten really really bad the past few days/week. I can’t stand the idea of not being with her, but also can’t stand the idea of being with her. These are the thoughts that had me in a mental hospital and I can’t put her through this again. I cried a few times recently about how much I love and care about her and when she talks to me about how she appreciates me I tear up and I think it’s because I care but what if it’s because I don’t and I feel guilty that I don’t? Please help. (P.S. idk why it’s not showing up but I’d like the LGBTQ+ with OCD tag, I think a queer perspective would help too as I am bi and trans (or at least thinking about being trans and scared that I’m only gay sometimes.)

Hey , I feel like I’m alone with getting intrusive and unwanted thoughts during sex / mast3rbation and when I’m finishing and it makes me feel disgusted and that I’m a disgusting person and that I agree with the thoughts I get and I get really upset after and guilty and regret doing it Please can someone tell me if they experience things like this and if it’s not just me It’s something I’ve been really struggling with but I try not to let it get in the way of me having a sex life I have posted a previous post but no one has said anything

Question: Given the differences of OCD and depression, how do you balance not seeking reassurance with comfort from others that you will be ok? Context: Hi all, I’ve recently found it challenging to manage both OCD and depression because I feel they require different strategies. I’m feeling managing OCD requires you to not seek reassurance, but at the same time, depression seems like you need someone to just tell you “it’s going to be ok.” Recently, I’ve been trying to not seek reassurance, but I feel that I’m not able to make the best decisions that way, and the weight of those led to a longer depression which includes intrusive thoughts that are hard to manage. I describe the relationship as a Venn Diagram, but OCD is on the top and depression is at the bottom, and the intersection is the threshold/breaking point that can lead to longer depression. Any advice from experience or perspectives that people can offer? I appreciate it.

I’ve experienced OCD since I was 11 years old (I am 29 now), and was diagnosed with it in 2021. So, I’ve lived more than half of my life dealing with this disorder in silence. I’ve recently been feeling like I’m no longer a good person. That all of the things I’ve held close to my heart and loved, no longer matter to me. As much as I try to go back to those things, it sometimes feels so foreign and makes me feel anxious. Has anybody else experienced this before? If so, what are some things you’ve done to help you find happiness and joy in the things you’ve cherished?

Scary intrusive thoughts For the past 8 months I’ve been terrified of developing schizophrenia, I’ve gone through various stages of this theme, like in the beginning I was really afraid of hallucinating and stuff like that but as the months and this obsession progressed I’ve become more afraid of having delusions and the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. In the beginning after watching a demonic horror movie or something I would start getting awful intrusive thoughts like “what if I start to believe my wife is a demon” or “what if I start believing the government is run by satan” or some shit, but now i get thoughts like that all the time and even without watching horror movies, and now the “what if I start to believe” part is gone and now the thoughts are like “what if my wife is a demon.. well you can’t prove she’s not” etc etc. my ocd or anxiety has really latched onto these delusional, demonic thoughts. I hate them so much, I have never ever believed in superstitious stuff like this before, I am a literal atheist and a secular humanist. What is wrong with me? Has anyone ever had intrusive thoughts like this?

does anyone feel like ever since they started with intrusive thoughts / compulsions that you feel as if your brain has turned to mush and your intellect has vanished. it’s really hard for me to string sentences together & i feel as if everyone who speaks about ocd has this way of putting it that i never will be able to. i’m still untreated & in the dark to be honest. when it comes about speaking about what ive been through as well i can’t remember everything only the really bad episodes, it’s like my brain is hiding it away from me waiting for a day for me to remember and traumatise me all over again. i’m also petrified of saying the wrong things to people and potentially worsening their ocd or seeming to be uneducated about it and like i have no idea what i’m talking about. i’m still learning but i’m frustrated that i feel as if i still don’t know anything. does that make sense?

What do you usually press when you’re selecting how much time to warm up your food in the microwave? Increments of 30 mins like 1:00, 1:30, 2:00 etc? Just realized I do Just Right compulsions with the numbers… thinking about pressing 2:00 is making me uncomfortable

I have bad intrusive thoughts about me committing past assault, rape, etc. Today, there’s a popular online streamer that’s being accused of SA, the allegations seem to be true to me at least. Now I’m having flashbacks or thoughts about a girl I dated years ago. I tried to make a move on the first night together, she said no and I respected that. But on the second night, I can’t remember if we were cuddling in the move theater and if we did, did I touch her chest and then further to her breast. I have rumination like was she uncomfortable, did I rape her, etc. Any advice would be appreciated

i’m struggling to find professional help in the uk for my mental health - i’ve been told i have ocd by my mental health nurse who also is in touch with doctors who also claim i have ocd but no one has sat down and diagnosed me. i’m trying to get a diagnosis & therapy because these past few years of intrusive thoughts & compulsions have completely traumatised me and ruined me as a person. i know this app is mainly for the US but ive seen a few uk posts. does anyone have any guidance or experiences in the uk that may help me?

I am so heartbroken. When I look back at my life I feel like I’ve always had some sort of rocd. But I’ve never had a partner who is trustworthy and provides security and stability to me. I used to worry so much about people leaving me, therapists and doctors would say this was anxiety. When I met my current partner, I worried myself sick that he was going to leave but this was so irrational because it was obvious that wasn’t the case. I couldn’t stop myself from worrying ever. Fast forward to a few months ago I had a harm OCD thought and that was horrific, I was so so terrified of my mind. I thought that I was going to commit myself. I finally got over this obsession & it morphed into fear of not “really” loving my partner and it has me questioning everything about our relationship. When I don’t want to. At all. We are supposed to be getting engaged this year.. and I want my future with him so bad but feel that these thoughts and fears is going to ruin my whole life. I just wish it could go away.. QUESTION- if you have experience with this please comment. I also don’t know how much of this could be trauma related (I’ve never saw a healthy relationship before) and how much I should dig into that? Or if I should really treat this as an OCD matter. I don’t want to hurt my partner, I love him so much. I feel like by being with him I am setting him up for failure… this is so hard.

Does anyone else share this sentiment? I want to date someone with OCD. Preferably someone who understands pure-o and the issues I go through. I feel like it would be easier because not only would they understand me, I feel like I could also be good for them because I'd understand how OCD works and help them through their obsessions together and overall it would be healthier than someone else having to navigate my OCD. That being said I'd still have to find someone okay with my asexuality and me being genderfluid but :( small steps I guess. Anyone else relate? Of course,

Do you have any tips to help me redirect my thoughts & actions?

Do any of you suffer from frequent rumination, anxiety when not giving in to compulsion, and having a guilt or doubt that you did something inappropriate and with bad intent? Even though its completely against your values and history the guilt and doubt is unbearable. Its affecting my family and work life.

My 9 yo daughter began her OCD symptoms when she turned 8. Her dad has it so we recognized it. She sees a therapist who told her to make her OCD into a being. She named her OCD a silly name to help her separate herself from her anxieties and subsequent compulsions. It’s hard to know what she’s supposed to do with this “creature” as verbalizing it is difficult for her. Should she try to push this being away when he pops up, or is she supposed to work with the being to coexist? I just want to be as helpful to her as possible.

I hope this post finds someone who is currently struggling with this ocd theme. Long story short, about 3 months ago I experienced an encounter where it has traumatized me to the core. I have relationship OCD due to the fact that I was unfaithful to my partner at the beginning of our relationship. I built such fear and trauma from it to not do it again. My partner knows everything! But what I want to say today is that there is hope. These past 3 months has been a living hell for me. I experienced false memory so severely and bad. To explain the experience, I went to the gym to cancel my membership. Like I mentioned, I have slight fear with guys because of what I went through. I do admit to my faults, I was being nice to this guy. He was super friendly/outgoing. And from the start I remember thinking nothing of it but to be nice and chill towards this guy ( usually I’m super serious). Unfortunately, it is completely out of my memory now. But I said at the beginning I had an intrusive thought about being extra friendly to this guy behind my boyfriend’s back. Mind you it turned into something crazy because through I and my boyfriend’s messages, I said that the thought was about flirting. But I’ve always remembered as friendly. That completely distorted my memory. So during this months I’ve been trying to figure it out and see if after whatever thought I had, I smiled more or not due to the malicious intrusive thought I had. Then it jumped into, I don’t remember and ‘ what if ‘ I flirted with this guy or flirtatiously smiled at him. Constant doubts about this situation and the amount of anxiety this brought to me. My boyfriend said if there was any flirtation at all he’s leaving. So that left me in the trenches because as a person with OCD, there’s a 0 tolerance for uncertainty especially with a memory. Although it brought me days of not eating because I was so fixated on I have to know every detail of this encounter. Recently, I started to think to myself. Life is not always gonna be 100% certainty. But there is such thing called logic. For people going through FALSE MEMORY. Listen to me right now, if you did something bad, you just know. There’s no doubt or anything. Unless you have very short term memory like actually diagnosed. I started to think about it and told myself, you know what; if I flirted with this guy, I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. If I would have smiled in a flirtatious way towards this guys I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. Any aspect that would have made me uncomfortable, I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED. That is logic. You can ask any person right now and ask them hey do you remember this memory by detail and they will say NO. But if you ask them, in this case, did you smile in a flirty way or flirt with them they’ll say no. But how if you don’t remember the details, and I promise there answer would be well I wouldn’t do that and ontop of that if I would have I would’ve known that since it happened and would’ve recalled. So please anyone going through false memory, listen up, if it begins with ‘ what if ‘ shut that off right then and there. You remember big details, as humans we are prone to that. Move forward and drop whatever you are going through and live your life!!!! Stop torturing yourself.

i got a thought of “why are you fighting against the “urge” so much? just give in” and it’s scaring me. it’s like i now i don’t know why i’m fighting against it. but i know why i have been, i don’t want to hurt my family. but now this thought makes me think i actually do. i don’t know what’s going on truly, sometimes i feel like i’m able to tell it’s all ocd and then sometimes it feels so real.