How to Manage OCD and Depression

Question: Given the differences of OCD and depression, how do you balance not seeking reassurance with comfort from others that you will be ok? Context: Hi all, I’ve recently found it challenging to manage both OCD and depression because I feel they require different strategies. I’m feeling managing OCD requires you to not seek reassurance, but at the same time, depression seems like you need someone to just tell you “it’s going to be ok.” Recently, I’ve been trying to not seek reassurance, but I feel that I’m not able to make the best decisions that way, and the weight of those led to a longer depression which includes intrusive thoughts that are hard to manage. I describe the relationship as a Venn Diagram, but OCD is on the top and depression is at the bottom, and the intersection is the threshold/breaking point that can lead to longer depression. Any advice from experience or perspectives that people can offer? I appreciate it.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w ago

I’ve never dealt with both depression and OCD symptoms at the same time, though I experienced some depression a long time ago before I knew what OCD even was. To me the reassurance seeking associated with OCD that is important to refrain from is the kind that is seeking to alleviate fear quickly. That kind of fearful feeling about something and needing someone to reassure me is different from how I used to feel when I was feeling more depressed. That to me felt more like just feeling really heavy and down and sad and kind of underwater. I feel like if you’re feeling that way and just like want a hug or some basic comfort or something, and it’s not based in trying to make fear go away, that sounds to me like it wouldn’t necessarily reinforce OCD like behaviors. Ultimately though you just have to experiment and see how things work for you :) I’ve seen for myself that if I refrain from reassurance seeking it’s really hard and sucks at first but over time I get less fearful about things, but then if I start doing even a little bit of reassurance seeking, the fear starts to come back again. So it does take a bit of persistence. I hope you feel okay soon :)

Username: srp21dsrp21d

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 44w ago

Personally, I think the difference is the context of the reassuring. If you come to a friend/family member and tell them you’re struggling with a specific obsession and ask them “is it going to be okay?” then that’s reassurance seeking and something we want to avoid, but if you’re just generally down/depressed not looking for specific reassurance towards an obsession and just need a hug and to hear that at this moment everything is okay then to me that’s not reassurance seeking that would be feeding the OCD. Perhaps if you’re looking for a different supportive phrase from a friend/family member that doesn’t sound so much like reassurance seeking you could ask them to say something like “I am always here to support you” or “you’re never alone, we’ll get through this”.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 24w ago

Anyone else drowning lately ?

I’ve been dealing with a terribly overwhelming bout of OCD for a few months now, possibly the worst I’ve ever had in my 12 years of having it; which is what led me here. I’ve always had doubts in my long term relationship, but none that have been quite this vicious, making me question my sense of safety with this sweet man who has ALWAYS made me feel safe and comfortable. It picks on every aspect of our relationship, and any moment it can to make me question if he’s actually secretly a bad person. This thing has a chokehold on me and it is so scary and debilitating, especially with it targeting something I care so deeply about. And now weeks into therapy, I almost feel that unpacking it is making me feel worse and my OCD is finding all sorts of new things to pick on. Any comforting words would be appreciated… I’m trying really hard to work through this.

Username: Sway_04

Date posted: 22w ago

My OCD Story

Hey all, I was recently diagnosed with OCD and MDD a few months ago. I’ve been experiencing symptoms for the past 11 months though. I used to be a person who would downplay depression, reasoning that if someone is depressed, they should be able to snap out of it. This year has taught me the truth behind how debilitating mental health conditions can be. My OCD has been absolutely tearing my life apart. For the past year, I’ve been coping with excessive guilt over past and recurring mistakes, my anxiety of which has recently been causing me panic attacks and throbbing headaches. I’ve also been coping with feeling unnatural sexual attractions, to those of the same sex and to children, which contradict the values I hold at heart. At one point, even simply shaking someone’s hand would cause sexual arousal, due to my hyper-vigilance surrounding physical contact. My OCD and depression nearly led me to take my life a few months ago. There are no words to describe the amount of pain I’ve had to endure. My thoughts and feelings have been absolutely tearing my life down, bit by bit. I feel like I lost who I was, and like it’s impossible for me to know who I am. This isn’t me. Over the past couple weeks, I’ve been feeling constant sexual arousal, it’s so easily triggered now. I don’t know if it’s because of the OCD, if it’s a result of the SSRI I’m on, or if it’s just a product of me being a young adult—Or maybe a combination of all of the above, but it’s debilitating. How easily I get aroused causes me so much guilt. There is a girl in my life that I love, but it doesn’t help that I get aroused around her because of the simplest of things. It’s not what I want for us. I want to be able to hone in on my self-control. I can’t help but constantly compare who I am now to who I was just over a year ago. My happiness has suffered, and my endurance is draining. I know there is a long road of insight and recovery ahead of me, this is just the beginning. If there’s anyone who can relate to me in any way, feel free to let me know. Comfort begins with feeling understood.

Username: marcygirl23

Date posted: 20w ago

My story! Please give advice

Hey everyone. Long post, but just want some advice. I’ve had suicidal ocd, with some relationship & existential on the side lol, for about a year and a half. My suicidal ocd is pretty severe. I did a small amount of erp for a month or two, but then took a break. Last week I started an IOP program. I also take 10 mg of Prozac, and have for about 5 weeks. The first week of IOP was great. This week I have went downhill and feel like my ‘old ocd self’ again meaning heavily ruminating and seeking reassurance. My exposure today was standing near train tracks. It made me sad, and scared. I didn’t want to do it. I keep ruminating. I am absolutely terrified I will not get better. I’m scared I will get depressed and think life is not worth it. Thoughts constantly run through my head. I want to be here so bad, but I’m scared I am going to give up. I constantly worry I won’t be “happy” long term and I won’t recover. Can anyone give me some hope? I am scared I’m a lost caus. Any recovery stories? I’ve never had depression and I’m feeling a bit worried about myself from feeling tired and sad. I don’t know many people with suicidal ocd- I just want to know I can recover. Thanks for reading!

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How to Manage OCD and Depression

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