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Since im working in a christian band(as a backstage helper and now am also managing the social media platforms of that band) i noticed that since than i became really hard on myself on the things i can do and not. I have that "in that position i shouldnt do certain things, cause i have responsibility, i dont want to ruin the name of that band" and this gave me so much pressure. I want to work as a christian song writer, i would like to write non christian songs too, and this is where the problem begins. Now i have this "only God" mentality, that for us christians everything should be about God, some worldly song are bad ca...
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Anyone else get bad ocd after posting anything anywhere? It’s truly not because I care about what people think, it’s kind of more complicated. Like I think if I post it and feel a certain way while I post it or have certain thoughts, they are “stuck” inside the post and I’ll keep having them until I delete the post. If I give into this compulsion, I immediately feel better and like myself again. If not I’ll feel hot on my head, restless, have sweaty hands and feet, and feel nervous. I know this sounds very random and hard to believe. I think it is part of Pure O ocd, and a lot of my obsessions and compulsions are mental, and some are w...
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I had the worse OCD, like I can't even function nor move without breaking down and I can say that I've done a lot of self-harm. I experience all kinds/types of OCD and it was torturing. Then, I got this one-eyed rescue cat; I thought I rescued her, turns out she was the one rescuing me. A year after I got her, I got another cat (this time, a deaf one). They made my life worth living, seeing them makes me happy. I still experience some episodes and sometimes I regress but it wasn't as hard as before. Since the both of them have special needs, they are a bit more handful than the "normal" cats but doing tasks for them (e.g...
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How can you tell the difference between actual memories and false memory OCD? I try to do this but every time I do it my mind wonders off

I feel like since I was 15 where OCD really started kicking, I feel like I was living on survival mode and now I'm 25 and OCD has never been worse, I think I spent most of my life surviving, on the other hand others spent it improving and investing in themselves, which leaves me with a big question mark, how can I compete, knowing that today's societal standards are harsh and pretty much unrealistic, I feel alienated, overshadowed and straight up not belonging here, I really can't find my place in this world.

My OCD kicks very hard this morning. But it's a different topic. A few days ago I had applied for a small job and talked to the people there. In 2 months I will start my modules to finish my studies for my degree. Now I'm in a constant loop thinking about whether I have the capacities to work while studying and it's driving me crazy. Once I think I settled on an opinion, it switches again...so many what ifs "what if you mess up and ruin your studies" "what if you disappoint at this new job or have to quit because it's too much" "what if you don't have the capacities to do both" etc. it all ends in a shamefull or very stressful, catas...
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so me and my boyfriend just kissed. it was my first kiss and his. i was playing with his hair like putting it in a ponytail then i said “can we kiss” and he’s asked me before and i kinda avoided it because of hocd and rocd. we both went in but didn’t really like pucker or anything and im so embarrassed and i didn’t feel ANYTHING. it was so awkward after and we just said i’m sorry and moved on but like i didn’t feel anything, except anxiety after because i didn’t feel anything. i would just say our lips touched for like a second like nothing even happened. please help me

I have my first therapy apt Monday - looking forward to it! However, I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD. I’m advocating for myself and hoping to figure out what all is going on so I can learn correct coping techniques to get better! I guess I’m writing this to maybe see if anyone can help me understand or can relate!? I had my first panic attack a few months ago! After a few weeks my mind got scared that feeling anxious and stressed out was going to make me become schizophrenic or some insane situation. I somewhat got over that fear after several months of everyday panics about it. Now I’m in a loop and scar...
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I have a scheduled overnight sleep study next week and I'm worried that I'm going to yell a racial slur in my sleep or when the sleep technician wakes me up in the morning. This really upsets me because racial slurs are wrong and I would never want to shout one. I'm afraid I'll go into the sleep study worrying so much about shouting a slur, that I'd potentially dream about it, think about it so much, and end up shouting one. I hate this. I know I need to sleep during my sleep study and now I'm worried about this. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you.

OCD is crazy and ridiculous. Why make me anxious over meaningless thoughts. Or is it that I’m anxious and my mind is throwing me hundreds of thoughts to try and figure out why I’m anxious. I guess it doesn’t matter what comes first but sometimes it can be frustrating that I get heart drop sensation when and ocd thought comes to mind. None the less opening up ocd to my friends and family has provided me a good system. Although I still struggle like right now I’m at the bar eating some ramen seeing people be in the moment enjoying life while I’m discussing my OCD can be depressing. None the less I made have leaps and bounds and even with the misery of OCD I still see life as such a gift.

I’m getting Groinal around my own brothers, when I saw his stomach. I don’t know if it’s groinal I hope it is, it even felt like it grew a little and I was stopping it. And then “if this was another guy you would definitely like it”. I try say “if I was actually gay I wouldn’t have dumb thoughts like this” but it doesn’t work my mind says I’m gay anyways

Honestly, I relapsed so hard these days. I can´t keep my mind free of intrusive thoughts. My mind always come up with something I did or I think I did that makes me feel Iḿ the worst person ever. I feel super ashamed and guilty. I can´t stand it anymore. Im crying in my bed right now, out of frustration.

i have my first therapy session on here in a couple of weeks. i was going to wait until i had my first session to stop doing compulsions and stuff but i decided to try erp on my own and see what happens.

One more question for y’all! I’m sure this is many of us, but I literally cannot sleep. If I do fall asleep, I maybe drift off for an hour or two. Then, I’m startled awake….intrusive thoughts running wild, heart racing….and then I lie awake the rest of the night. Just stuck in panic mode until the sun comes up. Then I have to start the day…already being in the rabbit hole for hours. I’ve tried every natural “remedy” nothing works. I’ve tried the pharmaceutical route…that also doesn’t work! Sleep has now become the enemy and I’d rather just stay awake all night. Does anyone have anything that helps them?? I’m desperate. The ...
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I keep having horrible nightmares of me doing terrible things to people. Like being a sexual deviant or something and it scares me and makes me feel bad about myself. Is this normal?

i’m sorry for posting a lot but i’m relapsing again and it’s hitting hard this time. It feels so real the thoughts feel like they are becoming mine and I thought i was doing better but no Im not because im suffering again. I feel like this time i can’t ignore them if i do they will be my thoughts. i will become who i fear becoming. i don’t want to die but i don’t want to live like this. i’ve never been more suicidal then when this last ocd relapse hit. this is the 3rd month im going through this theme and it’s relentless and painful and attacks every.little.thing. i doubt everything. i’m sorry for posting so much but. i’m afraid i can’t keep on moving. my heart is tired and beat up and broken and my mind is against me so how can I trust it? idk i don’t want this. it feels so real.

I was just diagnosed with severe ocd. I had no idea I just thought my adhd or cptsd was to blame for my weird thinking and how it'd seem to be stuck in my head uncontrollably. And now I'm struggling with acceptance that I have ocd. Like I'm happy I know so I can begin treating but I'm also so worried because I've been like this for as long as I can remember... And it's been all wrong? I feel so alone sometimes

Hi I'm cassi, and I am pretty new to this, and I have been reading all of your stories and shares, and I was hoping this might help me in some way. So I have always been extremely close with my mom, I am 26 and I love our relationship, she is the best mom, but lately I've been having intrusive thoughts and anxiety about how much I rely on her, and what will happen the day she passes, I know thats a long time from now, but all I can think of is what if I have a mental breakdown? What if I can't survive without her in my life? And she knows all of this, she is the main person in my life that I take to about these things with. I was just curious if this has crossed anyone else's mind. I hope everyone is having a good day!

so i cant seek reassurance and i cant confess. so what. i bottle it all up until i burst into a million little pieces??

I have another question about moral OCD. For me it affects my partner. I once wrote to a streamer with whom I was regularly in the live streams, a relatively well-known one. It was so moderately “fan” writing. I intentionally “sneaked” myself in so I could become his moderator on his live streams, which was the reason I interacted with him in the first place. There were small talks about life, the live streams (as I said, just so he might use me as his moderator because I'm a fan he knows better and can rely on) and nothing more. Now I feel like I cheated on my boyfriend all the time. Since it concerns my relationship, I'm n...
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