Welcome to
the NOCD Community

How do I stop engaging with the thoughts or stop ruminating when I can barely think of anything else without it turning into something it’s not?

Does anyone else struggle with always searching for something to be wrong, especially in good times? When things are good or I get good news I am looking for the next terrible possibility.

I'm paranoid that I have several things neurologically wrong with me, and my psychiatric NP made me feel so insulted and infantilized this week at our appointment that it triggered an extreme OCD episode that I've been stuck in all week. I'm dumping him, obviously, and I'm trying to get in with a psychiatrist ASAP. My father and I are being more serious than ever about getting me help. It's been an extremely tough week. I feel absolutely insane and psychotic for believing everything my OCD is telling me, but I can't turn it off, and I feel like everything I do to try and help myself is just a mental compulsion. I don't know what to think anymore, and I don't know when this episode will end. I miss feeling like myself. I feel like a completely different person and it's both horrifying and embarrassing.

i keep getting thoughts of molesting/ doing sexual things to people (that i’m close to) and children, every-time this happens I extremely disturbed and have panic attacks bc i’m a horrible person. i’m honestly just contemplating just k*lling myself because i feel like a disgusting p3do who doesn’t deserve anything in life. i’m already diagnosed with anxiety and depression but i’m not sure if this is OCD or not. i hate my self so much- this thoughts won’t stop happening and i never want to do anything like that ever. :/. i’m not sure what to do, i’ve talked to my therapist but none of her methods worked on how to stop these thoughts.

I had these horrible nightmares that covered the most disturbing of my ocd subtypes and intrusive thoughts. They were so vivid and all disturbing and I just woke up. Thoughts of what if it’s something you want or other what ifs. And I’m so uncomfortable which is an understatement. I don’t even want up get up because I’m so uncomfortable. This is awful

This is a question for more experienced people, and maybe sounds like a no-brainer, but I find that my compulsions happen so fast that I have no time to even think about not doing them. Especially since my intrusive thoughts appear quickly and more so as ideas than actual words, I find myself already in a compulsion (like reassurance, distraction, memory compulsion) before I can do anything else. I’m not sure how to stop them because they seem like such a habit. Any tips for how I can manage this?

Is it normal to have moments where it feels so real? Like where it feels like you’re fantasizing and you’re enjoying it and you like all of this? But I know there’s nothing there. There’s no desire to be this person. I don’t want or like this. I feel like I’m voluntarily doing this and bringing it on. There’s people saying they want to throw up on here because of this and I feel like I’m not as worried. But I worry every day. I saw someone say people who actually are that person can be distressed but not disgusted and I’m worried that that’s me. But it is disgusting. It’s both disgusting and distressing but I’m worried that I’m not reacting how someone who’s really disgusted would. But at the same time I know it’s not real, it’s not me at all so I feel like I don’t react as much. I literally have no attraction to children. There’s no part of me that wants that I feel absolutely nothing for them in an inappropriate way. My only feelings are that I want them to be happy and enjoy childhood and never ever be hurt by evil people who are actually that. I can’t imagine harming ANYONE. But it’s really confusing how I know this and tell myself this but then I’ll have images pop up and thoughts that feel like I’m into it and thoughts that sound like I’m making sick jokes. It’s so hard to keep up with and I know I care I think I’m just so tired of it. I hope it’s just pocd. I hope I can get a therapist this year. I’m afraid to do anything with my life.

ERP has been crazy helpful recently, and I'm making a lot of progress. But now that I've mostly dealt with my main theme, I feel like my OCD is trying to pick at every little thing day to day. Does anyone have any advice for dealing with this?

Hey everyone so after having intrusive thoughts for about a year now my theme is changing to images. Does anyone else have super vivid intrusive images that are almost like experiencing a movie just in your head? Like I’ll be sitting in my bosses office and start thinking about snakes and then my mind is creating this whole movie. It’s not happening in reality it’s all in my head but it’s still scary af. Any tips on how to deal with the intrusive images?

Hi, so I’ve been dealing with OCD for the past four years intrusive thoughts and all. At first it started with being scared of panic attacks then the thoughts went to being scared I’d harm myself and now they’re associated around harming other people especially my family which is very very scary. It feels like I’m deeply rooted a bad person. I can’t even tell anyone my thoughts. It also makes me confused on if I want these thoughts. I’m not even sure if I have any compulsions bc I try to just ignore the thoughts and distract myself. Lately I’ve noticed my anxiety getting a lot worse Notjhing seems to calm it down anymore and I just want to stay alone in my bed and make it all go away. I’m scared I’m scared of myself and I’m scared these thoughts could happen one day and I’m scared I want them. Sometimes my thoughts can make me feel like that… does anyone have any good resources im doing ERP but it’s so expensive. I haven’t tried medication but I want to I’m just scared it will make me worse or make me gain weight. But I’m at the point where I’m desperate and something needs to change bc I can’t live like this. I feel like I’m fighting my thoughts all day. And one second I feel confident I’m ok and the next my whole body gets hot and I feel like it’s all possible and I want these thoughts. Someone please give me advice?

I’m scared that I’ll lose control and act on my intrusive thoughts about hurting someone. I feel like I’m feeling less sympathy and that’s worrying me. I’m worried that I’m lying to myself and I actually want these thoughts. I don’t know what else to do I just want to get rid of these thoughts. I keep questioning myself like “is it really ocd”, “is it really intrusive thoughts”. I’m worried that I’m actually homicidal and the fact that I’m feeling less sympathy/emotional towards these thoughts and towards others peoples pain worries me even more. I was always so sympathetic towards people and more emotional when I had these thoughts. But out of nowhere I started feeling those things less. Why is this happening I just want to be normal

This is my first time in ocd specific therapy, even though I’ve been struggling with it since I was a kid and I just feel like there’s no hope and I won’t be able to tolerate the distress of ERP. My OCD is so wide ranging and convoluted I can’t imagine being able to untangle it and actually make progress. It’s making me miserable and has me trapped in my thoughts but I don’t even know how to verbalize some parts of what I’m experiencing. I’m just checking, reviewing and over analyzing everything in my life constantly. My brain feels like it’s on fire and it takes me days to recover from OCD induced breakdowns. I don’t know if I have it in me to work through this :(

I’ve been homebound for the past two weeks because my anxiety and OCD have been so bad. I feel like there’s no way out of this. I’m still waiting on my therapist to respond back and my medicine doctor to respond back as well. I feel hopeless and I just want to know that there’s a way out of this and I’ll be better.

This question doesnt really help me and it makes me frustrated cause i hear others telling me to say this and then decide what to do and its not that easy, and im wondering am i the problem? Does anyone feels the same? Its just logical that if you have ocd and you overthink, this question will just make things worse... cause everytime i say this to a situation that really triggers me, my mind will come up solutions that i dont like but then i feel guilt and bad that im avoiding doing what i need to do, and i start to view it as theres a solution and im avoiding doing it. Like for an exemple that my father hurts my feelings everytime, when i feel the pain i ask "can i do something about it?" I try to choose "be stronger, learn to not care and be your best self" but this is hard and my mind goes more into "theres things you can do, move somewhere else" and i dont like this, but then because i dont like it i feel like i do it cauae i want to avoid the problem and i should do this but im avoiding the real problem, and i should move... which just triggers me more and more. This question makes me spin more, idk how it helps others and it makes me angry that it doesnt work for me or maybe it doesnt but i avoid the solution...

Ive seen this being recommended and been recommended for this app before a couple of times. But im really anxious about it because what if they sell my data? or someone hacks me data and finds me irl? then they know my issues? yk stupid stuff like that- has anyone else used it? is it good? how does it work? Can you trust it? Wskkamwem

I stopped taking meds about 3 weeks now and i didnt had any problem, and after 3 weeks just randomly a huge setback hitted me. I didnt had this bad setback while i was taking the meds, but before i was taking it, i felt this many times, and im afraid its not just ocd. A huge feeling of i want to cry comes and i cant handle any problem cause it makes me emotional. Im afraid it was a bad idea, i dont even sleeo well... if its really the medication then im scared to start to take again cause its beem 3 weeks now, and also when i started taking it i had really bad side effects. Idk what to think cause many times i didnt took the medication as i should cause i forgot it, i was really bad at it so thats the other reason i stopped, but everytime i stopped taking it for some days, i just noticed a minor setback. Now that i stopped taking it i didnt wanted to give attention to that cause i was afraid and i knew if i do then i will say to every little bad feeling that its because of that and i will be obsessed. So 2 weeks passed and i completely forgot about that and i didnt had any bigger problem, until i just remembered that i dont take it and i feel okay, its just made me happy. Then things got upside down really quick, i started feeling low, i was really negative and slowly i started to be weaker and weaker until i just got where i am now. I do notice i spin in my head alot of times, and i cand decide what is the good thing i should do, even in recovery, i say okay i ignore that feeling now, imediatelly i think "but thats important, if you sweep it it will come back worse, you should deal with it" and many times when these are getting worse i get angry at myself. This night i couldnt sleep well and i was so emotional. My dad said something negative to me that made me spin what should i do, should i move, people say i need to stay away from negative people but i dont want to move to live alone... and this made me feel bad too. Im so emotional right now, and i feel guilt cause im might be here cause i stopped taking medication... and if its that and im like this without meds, then idk how i will ever fully stop it, this is scary... also at night in the mids of the painful feeling and guilt, i had again a sucidal ocd experiment, i learned to not give into it, and i can see the lie, i could see it now too, it just it was so agressive because i wanted the pain to go away but not like that, but still my brain came up with it, i know its ocd im just afraid if this gets worse i will not be able to tell it cause it was still really agressive and strong. I keep thinking "i felt like this before i took medication, that means im back there, i cant do this without meds" and this breaks me...

It feels like I make progress with some obsessions and others gets significantly worse at the same time, so I’m never at peace. I’m spending all this time, money, and energy just for OCD to find another way to keep me on edge.

Nah females who find that your ocd gets worse when you’re on your period how do you handle it? Because I’ve been “reading signs” that the guy I’m totally head over heels for hates me now just because he’s got a lot on his plate right now and he’s not feeling the best mentally, I’ve not changed that to fit the storyline that I’m gonna loose him. I then brought this up to him in a way where I was like I hope that me being away (I’m currently travelling for 3 months) and our thing in general isn’t one of the things plaguing your mind, he then said no it’s not. I then said okay good I just wanna check that we’re still good sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed he said yeah I understand don’t worry, but my brain then goes “why didn’t he say of course I wanna still be with you don’t worry” which then makes me think he hates me. I’m so fucking overwhelmed! Because now also I feel like a horrible gf I’ve been trying to be there for him and I fully know that this all has nothing to do with me he’s got stuff on his mind, and I’ve just gone wait is this because you hate me? When I didn’t mean it like that! And now I wanna apologise and say I’m sorry for how stupid my question was, but I’ve already done that AND NOW I’ve made up that he actually fully hates me and his “it’s okay don’t worry” actually is “stfu you’re annoying me” I CANT WIN!

Does anyone have intrusive thoughts at that are sounds ? I have brought this up numerous times and can’t figure out with this is a compulsion or obsession. Right now it is a siren I repeat in my head for some reason and it’s driving me crazy. Really worried it’s something worse. I just want a clear head.

Is accepting the thoughts but trying no to get scared by them even if they are scary and cause me anxiety a compulsion? Like I m accepting them but I m trying no to be scared of them so I don’t get the anxiety but I still get the anxiety