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I want to beat ocd cause I'm tired of it beating me

Hey guys - I wanted to share something that has helped me in my ocd journey - in becoming stronger in myself. At first glance, Attachment Theory seems unrelated to OCD. Basically, if you haven’t heard of it - it’s a way of describing our relationships to other people - if we avoid them, constantly need to be closer to them, or are happy in the middle. The three insecure types are dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant, and anxious attachment. And then there’s secure. (I’ll attach an article at the end so you can read in more detail if interested). People with insecure attachment tend to deal with negative beliefs about themselves - like “I’m not good enough” or, “I’m not worthy of love” or “I am not emotionally safe”. Our behavior in our relationships is indicative of our own self concept, our self esteem, and these insecurities. Whether we constantly doubt if people are mad at us, worry about the state of our relationships, or try to avoid being hurt by others - are indications of different attachment styles. Now here’s how it relates. OCD has a lot to do with our self concept, our sense of self, and our self esteem - because of the way it latches onto our values and makes us doubt those things. A quote from a recent study on attachment in OCD patients says “Anxious attachment is common in patients with OCD and interconnects with primary OCD symptomatology.” Furthermore, “Insecure attachment leads to the formation of dysfunctional beliefs about the world and self, which influences the dynamics of OCD. It is associated with maladaptive cognitive processes such as an inflated sense of responsibility, perfectionism, and mind control. With worse emotional regulation and reduced self-esteem (which can also result from insecure attachment), it can lead to maladaptive behaviour such as perfectionistic and compulsive behaviour to secure and stabilize self-worth and safety.” Here’s the article in case you’re interested: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34506091/ One hallmark of a securely attached person is that their sense of self is strong. They are more trusting in relationships and also of their own instincts. So, looking at this data - Well it makes sense to assume that learning better emotional regulation and improving self esteem may lessen perfectionist and compulsive behavior - Basically, healing attachment style can perhaps lessen the severity of OCD, as it will make you have a stronger sense of self. *now, just a disclaimer. Take this as you will- you are the one that knows where you’re at in your recovery journey. ERP should be a top priority but this is something that may help on the side 🤗 Good news! If you’re insecurely attached- you can heal this. Look up Personal Development School online and take an attachment test. Once you have your result, there are free videos on YouTube under Personal Development School for you to access and learn about your own tendencies. If you’re interested in attachment here are some resources for you: Article - “Attachment Style May Influence Obsessive Compulsive Symptoms” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma/202205/attachment-style-may-influence-obsessive-compulsive-symptoms?amp Book - “Attached” by Amir Levine Personal Development School - heal your attachment style through online courses. https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/quiz/?utm_source=google-search&utm_medium=cpc-lead&utm_campaign=18002521897&utm_term=&gc_id=18002521897&h_ad_id=615763633191&utm_content=personal%20development%20school&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1I_xlKCP_gIVFRDnCh2FZw22EAAYASAAEgJtcfD_BwE Sending love to you guys ❤️ I know how hard it can be. But I also know this - you can do this.

Hey guys. Hope everyone is doing alright on here ❤️ I’ve got another tip for you. “Do the opposite of what your OCD says” We all know how painful it can be when OCD latches on to something we care about or love. It’s devastating. In some cases, it may make us completely doubt what we were before, who we thought we were - a complete identity crisis. And that identity crisis - brings us further away from our values. I had a particularly bad case of sexual orientation OCD. I had always been straight my whole life, and I became convinced I was actually gay and in denial of it. It sucked - especially since I had always wanted a boyfriend. My people out there with HOCD - you’ll get this. Anyways, I decided that I was going to pretend as if my OCD spirals about my sexuality had never happened.. and so I signed up for a dating app and started dating MEN. Even though I legitimately was so confused about it. And I met a great guy and we went on some dates. Mind you, I had so many doubts through this process - but I decided to keep going. And you know what happened after I went on a date with him? My HOCD had never been quieter. And so I invite you to do what I did - Call OCD’s bluff. Say, “You know what?? Let me see what you got, OCD. Because I am strong enough to handle this. I can do this.” So the next time it’s telling you to hide, to avoid - think about what the opposite of that would be and do it as best you can.* *just a disclaimer- make sure you’re keeping in mind the severity of your particular case and not jumping into an exposure that would be too much. I had to work up to this for a couple of months. But it’s the principle that stands - you can still call OCD’s bluff on a smaller scale too. Sending love as always ❤️ You guys got this.

Hi I’m currently suppressing the urge to vomit and hide in some hole and never come out 😃😃 so, I’m traveling technically today since it’s 1am right now, and I have to go on an airplane, and it’s not even just the airplane that triggers my ocd, it’s the airport itself, it’s so official and security stuff scares me bc like, theres a reason they have security. I’m really tempted to start googling “how likely is it for a plane to crash” or “how to survive a plane crash” and the urge to tell my dad that I love him and to take care of my pets if I don’t come back. Why is my mind like this. Wtf. I want to enjoy my vacation, I also don’t want to have a panic attack in an airport, which has happened before lol. I’m traveling with my mom and my sister, my mom understands ocd and has some knowledge on how to handle it, my sister does not at all. How do I calm myself without it being a compulsion?? I mean, is it okay if I calm myself with prescribed medication and like trying to tune everything out, or is that feeding into the ocd? Because my usual compulsions would be to repeat “it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay” over and over again in my head, and “I’m safe I’m safe I’m safe, nothing is going to happen” and I try not to do that anymore, or just simply not go because of the fear, BUT I’m going because I’m not gonna let ocd take away anymore of my life. I’m just scared and I don’t really know how to cope with this, any advice?

Does anyone deal with OCD in relationships where you’re constantly ritualizing making sure people aren’t mad at you? I constantly ask “are you mad at me?” or I’ll go back and over-clarify things I said and people are always like “dude I didn’t even notice you said something wrong” or “i didn’t even think about it that way”. It’s relieving but I feel like it’s just the OCD getting what it wants out of the ritual. I will say that recently, I’ve been able to let the obsession go in one ear and out the other more than ever before, but I still obsess over what people think of me. Would love to hear some shared experiences or advice.

{a bit nsfw} Hey, So I'm pretty sure I'm bi but think I still might have so-ocd. From around 12 I started watching gay porn and liked it, but also had crushes on girls previously. so the analysing and overthinking came with it pretty soon. can't say it nicer: Watching gay stuff makes me horny. But I'd have intimacy or a relationship only with a woman and I find women hot too. My anxiety is about being gay and only faking attraction to women. Since societal norms taught me heterosexual stuff ofc. I worry I only try to fit in and it's not real attraction to girls. I feel like I should feel. And ofc. there's the fear that it's not ocd but denial and ocd is am excuse. I haven't been disgnosed so might as well be true. My reassurance is erotic fantasies about women and watching hot girls and even porn to get an erection. These toughts and anxiety makes me lose focus, take up so much time and energy. I'm also super afraid of coming out or getting into a relationship until I 'figure it out'. 🙋 If you are bi with so-ocd, do you guys exists lol? how are you doing? how did/does it show up for you? What did you do to reduce the compulsions but also the anxiety?

I've been at it for a long time now. The past 4 years, I've had many themes pop up. But some of them cycle more regularly than others. Today I started off feeling at peace when an old theme returned a little. I'm managing it well, doing what I know I need to do. But the brief moments I start to follow the thought I feel that familiar "this is feels real" feeling...I've had this theme many times in the past so I know that it's just OCD. But once again, it feels real when I follow it. If you're new, I want you to know it's always gonna feel real. If it didn't, you wouldn't be obsessing over it. Breathe. Don't follow the thought. Tag it as OCD and continue on with your day...feel the anxiety, but don't give into compulsions if you can help it!

I started lexapro a week ago and I feel that it’s making my anxiety worse. Does anyone have experience taking lexapro? Did you notice the same? Thanks!

i feel like no matter how hard i try to explain how i am feeling about my current thoughts, im just overthinking everything. if i start to feel bad i get intrusive thoughts that im lying to myself or doing it for attention. its so hard to ask for help when im the inly one having a strong reaction. im not sure if that makes sense but i don’t know what else to do.

Please, please, please help me name this if you can. Also, no trigger warning because it is not very graphic, however, I do detail compulsions in this post. This is an obsession and source of compulsions I have struggled with all of my life, and undoubtedly the strongest one. A brief explanation: I experience obsessions, compulsions, paranoid feelings and severe anxiety over the idea of some unknown being, in my home, being a threat to myself. Triggers: Doors, corners, the dark, being alone, depictions of eyes, noises. Intrusive thoughts: Scary figure, threats of violent physical harm to myself (not caused by myself), helplessness. specifically, it occurs with the concept of the space behind things I can’t see through; things like corners, shower curtains, and doors. I always feel as though I am being watched in my own home, even though I don’t believe I am; I always feel as though I am about to be attacked, and sometimes I fixate on different ways I might be attacked. Basically, I never feel safe because this is always in my mind and manifests in different ways. For example: If I have to open a door, at any time, in my own home, I will suddenly have the powerful intrusive thought of some ambiguous threatening figure, which feels like a character from a horror movie. I imagine it waiting for me on the other side and then I have to build up my own courage to open doors, go through thought processes, look around corners, check if I’ve locked the front and back door, and shower with the curtain open (and door locked), and sometimes I can’t even bring myself to overcome it. I am terrified of home intrusion, is that part of it? It also occurs alongside my symmetry obsession. I have to put blankets over any empty spaces like the space under the door and completely close my window curtains (even then, I don’t feel safe.) Also, if I have decorations in my home with eyes, I have to cover them all with sticky notes. I never feel safe in my own home. I never experience this in public. Fixating on being attacked in my own home by something always occurs alongside the compulsions. Ex: I might be alone and get the intrusive thought of someone stabbing me, and then, I can’t get it out of my mind. My anxiety immediately spikes, and if I hear any small noises at all, it could send me into a panic attack. Sometimes a noise is what triggers it too; if i hear any noise in my own home that I didn’t cause, I immediately feel like I am about to die. I always have to have my back to a wall in my home in some way, and even then, I just FEEL like something scary is in the space around me. It is pretty debilitating and I usually call my boyfriend so that I don’t feel alone at home, but I can’t always depend on him. Does any of this sound familiar at all? It would be a huge help to me if anyone could relate to this or even just help me categorize it.

Okay, so I’m freaking out because I don’t know if I’m spiraling or ruminating or if I actually am not in love. I was in a relationship for seven years. We were together from 18-24. I broke up with him because we grew apart, we had very different life goals, we had different beliefs, and we had different views. The breakup was so intense, so traumatic, and so devastating. We had a dog together and had lived together for five years. I ended up having to block him on everything because he was being abusive (emotionally and on rare occasion physically). He ended up taking our dog, and I haven’t seen either of them in about eight months. The relationship was traumatic and so difficult on my mental health. I became depressed and struggled through insane anxiety. I’ve always had general anxiety disorder, but it became worse towards the end. Current day, I’ve been in a relationship with the sweetest man in the whole world for the last six months. I love him dearly, and I can see myself marrying him one day. However, my ROCD has been so difficult. It’s been so intense some weeks, then for a couple weeks it’s totally fine? However, the last couple days I’ve been so stressed because I feel like I don’t love my partner. I feel that I love him, but I’m not in love with him. Sometimes I feel things that I felt in my last relationship that I feel with my current partner, and it’s a huge trigger. I don’t know if it’s because I am not in love with him, or if it’s because my anxiety is in flight mode. I don’t know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach. It’s in my dreams, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t want to end things because he’s literally perfect, and I don’t want to hurt him. I want to be able to just feel in love with him. I don’t understand why this is happening to me. Is this just the norm? Is it normal to feel like you love someone but you’re not in love with them? I have no idea. I’m so scared. Someone please help me. :(

Hi. my name is Ally, im 18 and im in my last year of high school. i've always been in and out of therapy, but I've never been able to get to the route of the problems i have. I constantly fear talking about things like this, but here i go. -horrible thoughts of things such as rape, pedophilia, beastiality and incest popping into my head randomly (NOT URGES !!!!) and coming up in my dreams. -expecting the worst outcomes -believing that my actions control what will happen next in my life (if i dont do this specific thing, i will die or someone in my family will die) -intrusive thoughts and dreams that feel so real i believe it actually happened. i dont mean to intrude, this is a very safe space for people who suffer with OCD. i just feel i have no where else to turn. does this sound like ocd? something else? please if you can, i cant live thinking and feeling this way anymore, please help me.

I’m 4months post partum. I have anxiety, depression and OCD intrusive thoughts. One month ago, I had no idea what was going on with me. I was sure I was losing my mind and going completely crazy. But, luckily I found information end of February what was going on with me (OCD harm, post partum, inappropriate intrusive thoughts) I’m working with a post partum counselor that is trained in ocd intrusive thoughts. But I’m here because I feel that I need something more, or maybe to find a better fit. I receive my first call tomorrow with this app.. wish me luck. Also Im also on medication, anyone else? It seems it got better not a whole lot.. it’s only been 3 weeks. Thanks for reading and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE ❤️ we will get through this. Much love from the desert 🌵

so i believe in God and i’m gay. anytime i ever do anything that has to deal with me and another many or thinking of it or anything i feel like God is upset with me, something bad is going to happen; or since my thoughts have died down i think maybe my thoughts will come back or they will happen. i was wondering if this fall into religious OCD or if anyone else out there deals with this like i do?

Hi guys I'm new to this but I thought I would tell you what I'm currently going through and just get some advice. Lately I have been feeling like I am going insane, I'm scared that I am going to start hearing voices so I'm paying extra attention to everything to make sure I heard it. I once sat in silence for 15 minutes to make sure I wasn't hearing anything. I feel as if I am so hyperaware of everything that is going around me and the sounds it make, like taps, kettles, washing machines and the wind. There was one day when it was really windy and my mind went "what if the wind was trying to tell you something" and I know that's ridiculous and it's not, but then I started thinking, this is what someone with schizophrenia would think and I started to question if I believed it too! Ultimately, the sound of the wind started to irritate me and I would play music just to drown it out or just try to ignore it (This also happened with the sound of water running). I'm also scared that I'm going to start seeing things, like I'd imagine it in my head and I know it's not there but my mind always goes 'what if it is there and what if this happens', so I always check just to make sure. I'm really scared that I might be going through psychosis or developing schizophrenia. I did a few online tests and it said I might be at risk and this just petrifies me. It's all I can think about, when I go outside for walks all I think it that I might be schizophrenic, or did I really see that? or did I really hear that? Sometimes I see things in the corner of my eye and I have to double check to make sure if it's there and it always ends up being nothing. Sometimes I feel paranoid, randomly I would think that someone is staring at me and I know they aren't but I always check just in case. While searching symptoms of psychosis and schizophrenia I feel as though I can relate to some of them and I get scared that I probably have it and doubting that it is OCD. I feel like this is effecting my way of life, I haven't had an appetite in weeks and always feel a tingling in my hands and legs, I just feel on edge. I feel like I'm zoning out, like everything seems a bit blurry as if I haven't been blinking. To avoiding thinking about this I would usually go sleep, listen to music or go on twitter, just anything to try and get away from my thoughts but lately it feels like I can't even enjoy these apps anymore. I have read some of the stories on the community and it does provide momentary relief, but before I fall asleep it's the last thing I think about and when I wake up its the first thing I think about. I am exhausted. Sorry if this is a long read, I just wanted to talk about it.

i had a fear of all social media that started in the beginning of the year which made me delete all my social media. I recently have been trying to work on it so i downloaded instagram and sat there just looking at it with my thumb over the app and then ended up deleting it after a few minutes never opening it. yesterday night i decided to do it again but this time logging on. i decided to scroll and saw this hinge that triggered me but kept scrolling pushing myself which lasted for 20 minutes. i ended up deleting the app and felt so guilty for even being on it. today i decided to do the same thing and have been on and off again. it didn’t bother me and i was like omg am i finally going to be normal. i had gotten a thought that then sparked my old thoughts and whenever i checked my phone i felt stuff happening down below which i like to say but i know it is groinal response which makes me even more anxious and confuses me so much cause it makes me then think you want these things to happen or whatever the case may be. i wanna download the app again cause i enjoyed having connection with people again. i then sat asking my friend did i do ERP which now i’m asking if i was doing ERP? i now sit here thinking i downloaded the app which means i wanted these things to happen or come true and ever since i’ve been on meds i don’t get anxious but i ruminate so much. can someone please explain to me what is going on?

I am new to OCD and struggle with ROCD and pure O. I know a lot of OCD treatment is about not trying to figure out the thing your OCD wants you to figure out but in this case I feel like I really need to. I dated my ex for over 5 years, with several break ups. When we were together I was often tortured by thoughts and feelings of not wanting to be with her or in the relationship, or at least explore other people. But when we broke up I would agonize over the possibility that I had made a mistake, and even though I wasn't happy in the relationship, maybe if I we could just fix a couple problems or I could fix whatever it was in myself that made me feel not happy in the relationship then it would be fine, so we always got right back together. I thought if I could just date around for a while I could figure out what I want. Well we broke up for 7 months and I hadn't really been feeling like I wanted to get back together but still didn't fully accept that we never would make it work. I had been casually dating around and found out that she had been with the same guy basically the whole time we had been broken up and I panicked and basically ended it with the person I was seeing and asked my ex to get back together. Fast forward a couple months and we broke up again, I found out I have OCD and can't stop thinking about the girl I dated before I got back together with my ex. So basically now I have no fuckin clue what to do, what I want and I'm terrified to keep messing everything up. How do I figure out what feelings are mine, and what is just obsessive fears and thoughts?

So, I wanted to know if, just in case I can't afford the therapy sessions here, is there any way to learn and apply ERP for yourself?

My ex and I broke up a few months ago.I learned his license plate number while we were dating as it was silly, and I had some joke about it with him. Anyways now I find my self checking license plates as cars drives by ( as I live on a small island ) worried I’ll see him. But like even cars that aren’t his make and model. Also… what does this even mean.

Any tips on how to regain sex drive/libido while suffering OCD? I have been suffering with sexual orientation OCD for around 3 months, and have lost complete grasp of my identity whatsoever. Constant sexual thoughts about guys creating a uncertainty in whether I am straight or gay. I have tried accepting that I am "gay" which in a way makes the thoughts feel justified to there existence ,however it doesn't sit right when i try place the thoughts of my actions on the people. The existence of these intrusive thoughts feels to have created a complete crash in my sex drive, creating more uncertainty in my life which I feel incapable of actually dealing with. How do I even know that it is OCD and not me just struggling to accept myself? Apparently that's something il never know, but coming to terms with this feels very scary and confusing. The fact that I have a girlfriend doesn't make this any better. Life truly flipped upside-down. And all I crave rn is to get my life back to a place where ik who I am.