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Hello, Everyone. I feel as though I’ve maxed my ability to control my OCD beyond the point I’ve reached and am now interested in trying some medications. Any recommendations? Thanks.

I talk to this one girl online, she’s the coolest and sweetest! But I think she’s going through a tough time with her illness and it just sounds like it keeps getting worse. I had a thought pop up saying “die” at one point, I feel like total shit for it. I was excited this morning because I felt great waking up but when I read her message I felt sorry for her and after a couple of seconds I got that intrusive thought and it felt like I meant it but damn, I know I don’t what the fuck 😔. Now I can’t stop thinking about it. And before I would have intimate thoughts of me and her doing things. but that one I think was legit. It’s cause I like her but when I look back at it it’s such a shitty thing to be thinking about. and yesterday I was with a group of friends and he was complaining about how this chick won’t message him quick and I said don’t worry man I talk to this one chick who I sent a text on Saturday but she just text back yesterday. Just trying to give him an idea like hey yours isn’t as bad as mine. But we’re not even like talking to be bf or gf. I just want to be happy but ocd is def making me feel guilty and wanting to confess to my online friend 😔!

As a person with OCD, how do I stop obsessing about insomnia? Someone in this group gave me great advice a few months ago. She suggested YouTube videos by Daniel Erichsen. I’m more of a reader so I consulted his book Set it and Forget It. I thought I had it all figured out because I learned you can’t control sleep. However, I just had a sleepless night and I’m obsessing about why. What should I do? I’m worried about how tired I’ll be all day.

Is there anyone on here that practices the Christian faith seriously? My faith is my most important part of my life, and ocd seems to affect it the most. It is very hard to discern between genuine faith/ sin concerns and when my OCD goes overboard and my concern is not valid. I feel like I'm always concerned I'll sin, or that some thought is a sin and it's a very difficult cycle to break. If I could associate a compulsion, it's be confessing things. Anyone else struggle in this way and have advice? I'm currently on a wait list for a NOCD provider.

I was recently diagnosed with OCD. Probably more along the lines more of Pure O. . . Very very distressing intrusive thoughts and fears. I can see how it's likely been an issue most of my adult life but really exacerbated lately. It's exhausting. Has caused a significant disruption in my life and it Feels like a constant mental battle. Has anyone had luck with medication? I was recommended for lexapro. Tried it for 3 days and felt awful. Is the ERP therapy usually effective without medication? I'm on the wait list for a nocd therapist as they say they don't currently have any available in my state.

Hey guys. I’ve been dealing with Harm OCD for around 3 and 1/2 months now, and it’s been extremely difficult to experience. I’ve had OCD my whole life and some of my family members do as well, one of my cousins actually has the same main subtype as me, but he was diagnosed almost a year ago when I didn’t have it myself. I’ve been going to an OCD & Anxiety Treatment Center the past week and I’m really struggling with the exposures we do there, as well as the ones we do at home. I constantly feel like I’m judging myself and I genuinely feel worthless, like I’m a horrible person to have unwanted intrusive thoughts like these. I feel like it’s so difficult to stay mindful and to not judge any of the thoughts that surface. Those with Harm OCD, have any of you here gone from debilitating OCD to living fulfilling lives? If so, what was the process like for you, if you’d like to share? Thanks and I hope you’re all doing well, or are continuing to improve.

everything’s been really terrifying and loud lately and i found myself not leaving the house if i could avoid it, missing classes and appointments etc. i don’t WANT to give into the illnesses; i don’t WANT it to take my freedom. so i started going to class again. i haven’t been doing much else - i don’t eat out very much anymore, i send other people to the grocery store, and i’ve moved important meetings and appointments online. anyways, i’m sitting in class right now and battling the urge to leave. i made an agreement with myself that i could leave at the break if i still needed to. but i recognize that that is ALSO giving into the illnesses, and i don’t wanna concede more than i already have. i just feel so afraid all the time, and home is so much less overwhelming than anywhere else. i’m looking for people who have also experienced this. do y’all have any tips on how to manage? i feel like i’m going absolutely insane.

My OCD and intrusive thoughts always seem to be worse when I have nothing to do all day. When I graduated college I didn’t have an easy time finding work (mainly because I didn’t know what I even wanted to do or how to even find a job). I ended up taking a job in a career I wasn’t even interested in but I enjoyed it because it made me feel so much better just to have SOMETHING and contribute to society. For 2 years at this job I was so happy with my life. Never experienced an OCD episode and lost 50 pounds and felt so good. I ended up leaving that job to chase the money and it was the worst decision I ever made. I switched to a job that basically told me from the beginning they didn’t want me and spent a year being miserable. I gained all my weight back and HATED the work I was doing. I almost switched jobs to another company but it would have been the same work I was doing so I didn’t take it and in turn experienced another OCD episode where I was obsessing over the fact that I may have made the wrong decision. Eventually I got fired and am now once again home doing nothing all day with no idea where my life is going to take me. My Obsessions have now turned towards not being able to raise a family because I can’t figure my mental health/life out. Does anyone have any experience where their OCD tends to be worse when they have extended free time and will the things I worry about now seem insignificant once I have my professional confidence back and feel like I am valuable?

Its usually when I'm alone with it gets worse lmao. Well now it is since I got an anxiety spike from last nights false memory. But ugh The combination of a false memory within a real event reaaaaallllyyy sucks cause you don't know. I have many real events, all are a bit different but with in them creates false memories. Its like "If I did this, then I could have easily done this." Which really I have and its nothing bad with what I know I did but my false memory is changing one little thing, and if that one little thing changes, it changes the wwhhhoolleee thing. I know I regret my bigger real event that correlates to my false memory. But ugh god its like I could have easily done something like that. So thinking thag I could and even having the feeling that "I really did" is just sickening to me :( Idk why I had to live a life like that. But whatever. Its one thing have false memories, its another having a real event and having false memories within it that could be so real because its something that could have been easily done. Whatever just wanted to vent again. Its just so weird how I LITERALLY DEALT WITH THIS. I dealt with the what ifs of this specific false memory. I literally freaking forgot about this or it would be brought up in my mind and soon forgotten. But now because I created a backdoor spike for ruminating on my past, it feels just like how I felt with my actual real event :/ Maybe I'm repressing the memory as well which scared me more. What if the actual memory comes out soon. Its such a scary thing.... ugh whatever again I don't think so :/ I know I shouldn't find proof but even if I tried I know damn well its impossible lmao but seeing one of my real events its a big possibility... ah whatever I gotta get better in life What are you guys doing for the weekend ? I'd love to know !!! 🫂💕

Finally I'm almost done with my costume. Honestly it kinda looks ugly :/ but theres not much I can do now. Just gotta keep going. Of course OCD has to change. I have real events with false memories and today I questioned if I had done more things in my past that I feel horrible about. I decided to check/ruminate or I guess me and my mind decided to and I believe my mind created a false memory. I know I shouldn't have but its too late now. I freaked myself out because I don't know if its real or fake. It seems like a remembrance and it would feel even more believable because its something so easily to do :/ The me before seems like the person who could've done it in a sense. Trust me I want to forget the false memory and honestly move on, but idk theres something inside me thats like saying no don't move on, you did this, and I honestly feel sickened by it. Now its just a game of did I do it ? Or didn't I ? Did I do something similar to it ? Why did I "remember" and suddenly get a spike feeling like that memory was real and I was remembering. I got a spike feeling towards my real event, this spike feeling could be the same thing. (Even though the real event I did remember before but it never gave me extreme guilt but eh) Ugh... I know ruminating and checking can make memories even more real and vivid but then thats even scarier cause that gets you questioning more 😵‍💫😵‍💫. I hate also that I could have potentially had the same feelings and reactions before to my false memories, but like always whenever things change and you get a spike its like a different feeling. Its like nope this is it, this is the "real" memory. Do any of you guys get like that with false memories ? Maybe I'm not describing it well, but its like you know youve dealt with a false memory before and the feelings you had with it, your mind creates a new scenario I guess days after, you keep ruminating and you get a spike, or an immediate spike and its like oh god this is real. It feels real. The other thing was for sure false but this ? Yeah this might be the real memory now... UUGHH. Its just so annoying. I just wanted to vent mainly about false memories. One of the worst things also with False Memory is because of how awful they are, they are something that will always be in the back of our heads. Its a thought that has already been produced and it will "stay" with you in a sense of its a thought you will always remember. God I wish I can go back in time. Whatever I needed to let my frustrations out. I was dumb to check again, I should have known I'm not ok and I never will be "ok" in a sense of OCD will always be with me. I need to learn to live with it and that will hopefully help me. The what ifs are something that always gets us and trust me again when I say I'm trying not to think of the what ifs but its like my mind deep down inside is saying it. I guess its just scared and I'm trying not to be scared. Whatever again. Hopefully tomorrow is a new day :) Sucks whenever I have these days I just don't want to continue anything. I was supposed to shower but I can't. I really can't get up and do it. I just wanna lay down and idk honestly. How was your guys day ? List the good things that happened ! 🫂💕

Anything would help.

So I am co-maid of honor for my friends wedding and the other MOH is (was?) also my friend (we’ll call her Sadie). As MOHs, Sadie and I had to plan our friends bachelorette party. During the months we needed to plan/prep, my mental health was in a really bad spot, the worst it’s been in years. I still hadn’t been diagnosed with OCD yet and was in horrible shape emotionally. I told Sadie that I was struggling but I probably would not be much help for bachelorette planning, but would do what I could. I felt so guilty about not doing my share, but I had to take care of myself because I felt totally out of control, having daily panic attacks and crying. Sadie told me she understood and it was no problem, we met maybe twice for planning and the rest was ordering decorations and stuff, which I split with her. I thanked her and apologized repeatedly for running the show throughout the months leading up to the bachelorette. During the bachelorette, Sadie was in a horrible mood (long story) and it resulted in the bride getting mad at her. As the other MOH and seeing my two friends arguing, I checked in on them. At that point, Sadie (who was over tired and very drunk) started pointing fingers at me and saying that I was making her feel like a bad friend because I wasn’t getting into the details of my mental health situation with her (which is completely unrelated to the bride’s conversation with Sadie- it really came out of left field). She said that she was worried and wanted to help but I was unresponsive to messages (which isn’t true). She made me feel guilty for not trusting her with my deepest and darkest struggles, meanwhile I had just found out earlier in the day she had lied to me about something minor and unrelated… so why would I trust her with such personal and stigmatized information? I explained that I didn’t get into the details of my struggles with anyone besides my therapist and my mom, but she kept hounding me about how I was making her feel bad. Of course one of my OCD themes is worrying that I’m letting people down… anyone who knows me knows that’s a big concern of mine. Naturally, this made me cry. I found out after the fact that Sadie also told the bride (before I joined the conversation) that I never thanked Sadie for planning the bachelorette and that certain activities fell through because of me. Sadie (kind of?) apologized to me and the bride for her behavior, telling me that the mental health convo should have happened at a different time/place, but things have been weird ever since. I feel like she owes me a serious apology for weaponizing my mental health, because if she truly cared she wouldn’t have done what she did to me or would have pulled me aside later and apologized profusely. It’s been over a month and she has put in no effort to communicating with me and vice versa. I think she thinks I am in the wrong, although I’m not sure what I did and the bride doesn’t know either. Anger comes at me randomly about this, because I thought of Sadie as a good friend and I feel like she used my situation as a weapon. Even if she was hurting too for me not opening up, there are so many other ways she could have told me. In any situation though, I still do not owe her details about my mental health challenges. Right? My friends say that Sadie crossed a line by demanding to know details about what’s going on with my OCD. I just want to stop being angry with her and effected by this situation. Any advice?

I still don't feel right. My OCD has morphed into obsessing about emotions. And I know I've been through this (with words, time, distance, seeing thoughts, inner voice) It's just so stupid. I once was freaking out about words. And how do we "imagine" stuff in our heads. Now it's about emotions. Like what are emotions and how do we have them and like how do we even know they are good or bad? Didn't we just make up the concept of good and bad? What if I forget the meanings and do bad things? What's the point? What's the purpose? And that makes me depressed and hopeless which makes the anxiety worse because then I'm worried about self harm. Im supposed to say "there is no answer to this" but it still won't go away And I know they fade. But it is taking so long to fade. And I've already upped my Zoloft in the last 6 months and I'm taking it correctly. It doesn't make sense.

How long have you had really bad ROCD?

So I've actually suffered with staring at peoples parts a lot before but recently its been wwwaaayyyy too much. I know me fighting it is going to make it feel like I need to do it even more but ugh its so annoying and disgusting. It really feels like I want to stare and mix it with sexual thoughts its so freaking weird and I really don't want to do these things and its to everyone and moreso people younger than me but I just hate how it feels like I want to and sometimes it happens when I don't even realize and its most likely because I'm so focused on trying not to it like slips but ugh it gets annoying. The feeling of me genuinely wanting to you is just so weird :( I work retail and we change where we are stationed and recently me being in the fitting rooms has not been great. We have to take the customers to their fitting room and it isnt doors, its curtains and sometimes they do not close it well :( so when I put the nunber card next to their curtain its like I need to check if the curtain next to it with someone changing is closed and if it is I feel relief. If not its like I want to look and I purposely look and I soon feel disgusted. Its like I'm tricking myself and tricking others. Its like I get that easy peak and I'm faking my guilt so people would feel bad :( Also people seriously need to do a better job at closing the curtains lmao. I seriously don't want to be in the fitting rooms which I actually havent been stationed there in a bit but I know I should not get away. God I wish we had doors just like the other stores. N e ways thats how my day has been. Feeling guilt over my bad habits and felt like I went back to my old life but these things happen. You will have slip ups and relapse and its ok. I cannot fault myself and my mind is probably making it bigger than its supposed to be. How have you guys been ? Anything good happent to you guys today ?

I haven't really been taking care of myself and my sleep schedule has not been great. I really dislike napping as I take around 4 hour naps so then it takes me a wwhhiillleee to try to sleep. I've also cut off my melatonin as I wanted to see how it would be to stop depending on it and hopefully improve but I've always struggled with napping so I just need to not give in. As with false memories / intrusive thoughts I'm still pushing through. Went to work today but just got another false memory type when walking around. Not the first kind. Its like I either see someone or I walk in an area and I get this sort of remembrance feeling. Like I've done something here, I've done this thing to someone. This same movement is something I've done before. And like all those false memories it correlates with real memories I have and the feelings I get with those too. Like right now I did a certain movement and I immediately remembered it from a video so now I'm like "Well if this remembrance shows something happened, then does that mean with the other false memories they are actually proven to be real ?" Idk its weird and I know it takes time I've been through so much with OCD already. Honestly dealing with existential I would think I'm ok snd then bam I randomly get a sudden feeling and I'm fearing everything yet there was nothing I was thinking about to make me fear it. Just stared out a window and had to deal with it all over again and honestly still continues. But again I gotta push through. Another thing I haven't been doing well on is my medication. I've been so lazy in taking it :( I've been so up to date with it but now its like I'm not caring that much but I know I need to go back. I have events happening soon and I need to get better. Look my best. I want to start living life. Currently lost my medication lmao I think its somewhere on my bed but guess I have to search for it. Also took a long nap today that was 4 hours so hopefully I didn't move around alot. Was also supposed to work on my cosplay and buy items but didn't get to. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to. Sorry for this long post I guess its just an update/vent. How was your day ? Anything good happen today ? I bought a cute sweater from my job and also bought this cute face palette :3 Hope everyone has a great night ! 🫂💕

It just sucks when you are able to go about your day, actually improving, and then suddenly youll just get a spike. Just had a "what would others think if I had more things that I've done that I'm not telling them because I'm not able to remember them" So now my mind is trying to look for everything that I've done from small to major because I'm also afraid there will be something I haven't remembered and suddenly I'll get remember it later and it will be horrible :( I honestly already know all my real events lmao I've always had. Its just that OCD latched on very heavily to them as it changed theme but at the same time I know I should just keep going on with my day. But damn the "I'm not telling them everything" "What if they find out and leave me and hate me" :( it sucks but whatever. I'm eating pozole ! Have you guys had it ? Also tomorrow I'll be working on my halloween costume/cosplay :) I'm going to be Hange from Attack on Titan ! What will you guys be dressed up as ? 🫂💕

So who here has intrusive thoughts about going insane or ending up in a mental hospital or just general fear of having anxiety and then get anxiety? Or fear of going out to events or places with family or friends and having intense anxiety? I don't see many people saying they have this. Intrigued to know.

One for the therapists or those that have done ERP or followed some of the advice on here.... If the best way to deal with the intrusive thought is to not give it certainty and to say "that might happen, who knows?" then surely you're fuelling the thought which is going to heighten anxiety levels? For example if you have POCD and have a thought such as "What if I think sexual thoughts about that child?" and you sit with the thought saying to yourself "I might do, I might not" surely that's going to make you ruminate on it and we're told rumination is wrong. Or another example "I'm going to hurt myself later" and then thinking "maybe I will, I don't know" you're just going to make yourself worse? If there's a chance that thought is gonna come true it's make you feel worse surely? Please tell me if I'm wrong and I've got the wrong end of the stick here but it's been playing on my mind. Surely it's better to ignore the thought the entirely or just observe it as if to say haha yeah OK keep trying to tell me that, that's ridiculous. Advice and thoughts appreciated.

Has anyone experienced ROCD in a friendship??