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Is it possible for your ancestors to curse you??? I keep getting intrusive thoughts about my relative that passed away and my thoughts are saying that they’re gonna curse me with one of my biggest fears. I’m so terrified right now. What if these thoughts were to actually come true..??!!!

So my theme has revolved around the fear of having schizophrenia for about a year now, many therapist and mental health professionals told me they believe it’s a mix of ocd and hypochondria. Well my main symptom of this disorder is the fear of having delusions, so over the course of this year I’ve had thoughts ranging from “what if my wife is a demon” “what if this song means something” “what if there’s some hidden message in this movie” “what if the government created the world and controls everything” “what if Satan is the true creator of the world” “why did my cat look at me like that, what if he’s a spy created by the government, what if all animals are?” Literally crazy shit but it all feels so real, I’ve thought about this stuff so much that I’ve started to have almost an emotional detachment from the world around me, I’ll have thoughts like, “why should I care, nothings real anyway”. And now it’s starting to feel like my normal line of thinking, like now I genuinely feel like everything is fake or staged in some way, nothing feels real or genuine, it feels like everyone around me, the media, news, politics, all feels like some sort of big act or lie. Feels like there’s something more to reality that I’m missing or something, everything feels “too perfect”. I’ve lost all happiness in everything and I’ve become SO suspicious of every single thing, everything has to have some deeper meaning according to my brain, it sucks. Has anyone ever had the fear of schizophrenia and it got this bad?

I feel as though my life has been going a little TOO well recently and that something catastrophic is going to happen in order to "balance everything out" or make me feel less happy. It's preventing me from living in the moment and enjoying what's happening right now. Has anyone ever experienced this type of anxiety? Any tips on how to handle it?

I don’t even know what type of OCD this would fall under but here it goes lol. ever since i was a little kid If someone bad happened to me while i was listening to a song, I wouldn’t listen to it anymore, or if i heard it i would take it as a “bad omen” so i would try to avoid it at almost all costs. if something good happened to me, I would take it as a “good song” and need to listen to it on repeat so something good would happen even though it would drive me crazy hearing it after replaying it so many times. I have little memories in my head for almost all my music like for example “the day i listened to this song a kid near me coughed so it means that if i listen to it then i could happen again and i could get sick.” can anyone relate? any tips to help stop?

One of my most severe ocd subgroups is dea()h (I can’t type it). If an image of someone who is de()d comes to mind I have to do compulsions to get rid of it. This of course all stems from the fear of dy()ng and I have this irrational fear that if I do anything at all, including breathing, with those images in my mind or actual images in front of me (like a picture or on tv) it would lead me to possibly have a higher chance of d()ing or earlier. I was wondering if anyone struggles with a similar issue, and if there was something you tell or convince yourself to help alleviate it. I had a really bad episode tonight where it was just constant image after image and I’m exhausted. Thank you!

I’ll start - Worried I was a zoophile because I enjoy eating octopus - Thought I was dying of a brain aneurism because my head hurt - Thought that because my towel touched the hand towel that my family uses that I had to wash them both so that way my family wouldn’t become attracted to me.

I feel 99.9% certain that i am a doll. i cant stop thinking sbout and and its getting to the point where people are asking me if im ok but if i dont act like one somethings going to happen to me.

This is something very difficult for me so I suppose I'm just looking for a bit of support. A bit of context before I get into my current situation: I'm not sure what facet of ocd this is, but one of the many things I struggle with would be worrying about intruders in my home, specifically mystical ones that would be disturbing in appearance. For a long time this made me afraid of my room, under my bed, the hallway, etc around the nighttime. I've done exposures around this with my therapist and it has gotten better. It's been a few months without incident until now. I just got triggered by a video on tiktok which sounds silly to say. I am also autistic and there has been a change in my routine (parents aren't home) so I think this has made me feel more vulnerable. I feel very afraid and unsafe and it's late at night, I'm trying to force myself to watch the video to prove it's not going to hurt me but I can't bring myself to look at it. I just feel like all of my progress has gone down the drain and I'm feeling very low. Wondering if anyone can relate or has any advice, sorry for the drawn out post here.

Hi, I'm 17 and I'm not sure if I have OCD My symptoms started in lockdown and I was really scared my parents would get covid and something really bad would happen so: I kept praying to God, taking my shoes off to pray again and again before I left to go somewhere In my religion(Hinduism) materialistic things are ignorance so I'd balance my phone in a risky position and pray everyday --- then I thought that by sacrificing materialistic things (ignorance) like chocolate and music I could go to my dream uni ---then I kept thinking about my mum and I kept thinking she might get cancer so I kept sacrificing things like wearing make up, nice clothes and I kept limiting how much food I ate. I 'fasted' a lot and I prayed for an hour every night. I thought I would regret it so much if I wore make up because id suffer from the ignronave of the materialistic pleasures When I was eating,I would keep looking at a picture of Lord Krishna and swallowing really fast to avoid the materialstic pleasures of taste. I can only do some things by thinking 'i promise to god I'll eat this chocolate' for example. I don't think my symptoms are normal and I really don't know what to do.

I made a post about this yesterday but no one responded My magical thinking ocd has got so bad All day I’ve been tapping my head a certain amount of times to make these thoughts go away I’m exhausted constantly having to tap my head Please am I the only one with this? Can people with magical thinking ocd tell me their experience because I feel like I’m lying

Hi, I’m Cede. I am 15 years old and I’m greatly concerned if I have OCD. I do so many things that relate to others with OCD, and find myself constantly matching symptoms of it. But I feel like if I bring this up to my mother she will tell me I’m making it all up in my head, or say something stupid like “it’s because of that darn phone” I was hoping to find people here who do have OCD and see what their thoughts are. And hopefully find my answer. These things have been happening as long as I can remember. They started out as a few things but now they’re building and getting worse. Stuff I do that I believe is OCD related: -When I was younger and believed in good and praying, I would have to triple check I prayed for all my family and friends. Or I thought they would die. I would panic every night. (Age 4-9?) -When praying I would also pray that specific things wouldn’t happen to me. Ex: “dear god, please don’t let me get kidnapped tomorrow” -I got into a car crash when I was younger while I was asleep, ever ever since then I wouldn’t allow myself to fall asleep because I thought me sleeping caused us to crash -I would (still do) see the spray paint on cement and imagine if the line extended. I would have to avoid those spots or I’d feel panicked or think a bad thing was soon to come -I skip count by 2’s, 5’s, and 10’s when anxious, or something like it. -I have to hold my breath while crossing the street because I think something bad will happen if I breathe before I’m across -I have to run half way across a street before a certain light changes otherwise I’m convinced Doom is released upon me -I will randomly feel dirty in my body. Typically my hands. I will wash and wash them till the “bad” is gone. -I have the habit of over showering because I feel like when I sleep “bad” is layered all over me and showering will get it off -when making a timer for something it needs to only be “good” numbers (minutes) with a “good”number for the seconds. Ex: 11 min and 44 seconds -Numbers, Colors, Letters, and shapes all are split into feeling “good” or “bad” ex: 6 is very bad. It’s like a dirty feeling almost -I refuse to go into stores that feel “bad” or “dirty”. Like the AIR feels dirty to me, even if I know it’s clean -If I push my bedroom door shut before it closes I need to run to a carpet and stand on only my right leg or get to my stairs or I feel like something bad will happen -I will rewrite a letter or something till it feels it’s done “just right” -when walking on tiles I can’t step on lines. But also I don’t like how they’re spaced. My right foot is always stepping on one part of them and my left on another. It’s not fairly balanced. And that causes me to rewalk or step there again. And it causes me to panic and sometimes tear up. -if I only get one hand wet I need to get the other just as wet before drying them off or I can’t leave the place I’m in. -if one nail breaks on one hand ex:pointer on right, I need to cut the other one down to that length as well. Or I can’t function -when I’m sick I convince myself I’m going to die in my sleep (I’m literally sick rn and refusing to go to bed because I’m convinced my family will find me dead) -I have asthma and I sometimes think it gets so bad I’ll want to write “I love you” notes to my family because I’m going to die from not breathing in my sleep -I think I forgot something so I have to check it a few times to make sure I have it or done something -I won’t take medication unless my mother gets it for me, because I think I’ll accidentally over dose. And sometimes I’ll be worried to take it even from her (Tw for these because they’re intrusive thoughts) -I’ll be looking at my dog or a little kid and have the most vivid and violent visions of them. Ex: I will see myself bashing my dogs brain with my foot -I will have intrusive thoughts if me specializing myself to older adults, even family. Like guys. I don’t even want to give an example because it’s disgusting.. -I’ll get intrusive thoughts of me unaliving myself and writing su’cide letters to people -I will get an intrusive thought of me taking too much medication There’s still so much, but I’m sick and tired. If anyone who has OCD can let me know if it sounds like I have it please tell me. I want to figure this out. Have a good day! -Cd

I’ve always had a feeling of having OCD but I’ve never been sure. I’m a teenager, and I’m hoping people on this app can help me try to figure out if I have OCD or I’m just crazy. Starting off with these terrible thoughts I have all the time. Someone can come home late and I immediately think they got into a car wreck, and check my phone for recent car crashes and other thing etc. etc. number 2, I always have intrusive thoughts, terrible ones ever since I was a kid I can’t control. I immediately feel like thinking these will lead god to hate me, and that he made an imperfection on me. And every time I try to hide these thoughts away, like right now they’re coming out I just can’t stop thinking of them and it’s so hard to do anything. Just thoughts like, “you hate your mom” or, “you hate god” and stuff that scares me like spiders. It’s hard to do anything with these thoughts. I’m also a major perfectionist, if anything is out of order I freak out. Yes, my room is messy. But I feel a sense of incompleteness and anxiety if I don’t empty the dishwasher, or don’t clean dirty dishes around the sink. These are recent and I feel like God will punish me for committing the sin of laziness. I also have a thing with the number 5, when I touch something it needs to be 5 times and if it’s not 5 times I freak out. I’m also terrified of getting sick, every time my friend is sick I freak out and don’t get near them the entire day, constantly washing my hands. Writing this is triggering a lot of my terrible thoughts and I don’t want to continue writing. Please let me know your thoughts, mental illness runs in my family but my mom is constantly telling me there’s nothing wrong with me. Maybe she’s right.

I'm 17 and I was just wondering if it's OCD to think all of a sudden ' promise ok your pets life to go from one room to another within 30 seconds.' I used to be really scared and in Hinduism materialistic things (anything from sound sight touch taste smell etc) are ignoranve distracting you from god so I thought that by giving up things like not having chocolate for a day, not listening to music, etc I would be making 'sacrificws' to keep my rabbits alive. But then I started thinking things like 'promise on your rabbits life to eat this sweet for example' even if initially I was avoiding it because pleasures from taste are igorance. But now I keep getting it many times a day 'promise on your rabbits life to do this, do that, etc.' it's really interfering with studying and I have an offer for med school 🙏 but I'm not sure I'll be able to go

Everything I see I turn it into a sign, I saw a post of someone talking about brain aneurysms, and I took that as God telling me that I’m bout to have one, I can accidentally play a song on Spotify and assume that that’s God way of telling me that my life is going to be just like that song. I could stub my toe and think I’m going to lose that toe in the future. Literally everything I do I turn it into a sign it’s becoming exhausting. I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake. Not sure if this is ocd let me know if you experience this.

As the title states I wad woken up by strange bird chirping that I've never heard before and it's making me anxious, I guess my brain is making me think that this is somehow a warning for something and now I'm anxious thinking about what the warning can be about and now a million of possibilities is running through my mind?? I'm not sure if it's tuition or anxiety, I just want to go back to sleep peacefully 😭 I hope this doesn't seem like I'm seeking reassurance but I just wanted to get this off my chest at least..

About 4-5 months ago, I was walking to the grocery store and I noticed a tiny newborn pink runt mouse or maybe rat right on the curb. Eyes closed, must’ve just been born, but no mother in sight (which is why I assume it was the runt). There were a bunch of cars making the right turn for freshman move-in day at the college I live near. I had a dilemma — should I take this rat out of harm’s way and put it on the sidewalk? But then what if someone steps on it? Since it’s a runt and its mother is nowhere to be found, wouldn’t it just starve to death if I move it and it doesn’t get hit by a car? The only ethical choice was I have to pick it up and adopt it, but then I was like I don’t know how to even care for it and I may just cause more harm by doing that. Also being the stupid people pleaser I am, I didn’t want to “inconvenience” the oncoming traffic of stressed out parents moving in their kids. So I made a split-second decision and I just kept walking. I didn’t pick up the runt. I had a feeling it would get run over, and I almost turned around but I didn’t want people to look at me like what is this weird girl doing (if you can’t tell, I care way too much about what other ppl think of me). Anyways, I was walking back from the store, and of course, the runt had been run over and was completely dead. I feel like it was completely my fault for not picking it up and adopting it and I feel like I manifested the car to run it over too bc I had the thought that it would. I still think about this every few weeks or so, and I feel like a murderer. The guilt I feel about this event weighs so heavily on me. I have considered adopting a pet rat to “undo” my immoral behavior, but I know the regret and guilt would keep coming back even if I compulsively rescued a rat and it wouldn’t even be enough. What do I do?

Anyone deal with this? Uncertainty regarding an event in your past. You wonder was anyone hurt but you can never know for sure. Always fearing you are going to get in trouble one day. Then on top of that the thoughts regarding the event feel so real that you walk around defeated feeling like you are so bad and you should just tell everyone. Then the intrusive thoughts that make you fear the worst case scenario are always in your head all day everyday for a year. Then you start seeing confirmation/signs of your worst fear/intrusive thoughts everywhere that seem to confirm your fears. You start wondering is God trying to tell you something because every thing you watch, see, hear seems to point to or talk about what you’re obsessing about. Then because of the uncertainty you ask God to tell you what the outcome of the event was. Then all of a sudden you start seeing more signs of your theme and think is God confirming this. Then there are days where you get or see confirmation debunking your fear of worst case scenario and you wonder is God giving me signs in the other direction now.

What has led you to believe that OCD is the source of truth? Or it could be that you cannot distinguish between what are thoughts and what are OCD thoughts. A normal thought considered significant becomes a compulsion especially when you attach meaning and get anxious about it. What OCD is doing in your brain is searching for threats when there are none. Trying not to have a thought is like pushing a baloon into the water in the hope that the balloon will sink, but it will come up and you know it's hopeless. That's how it's with OCD. I get that everybody is afraid to do ERP because I don't know how to emphasze this enough, it's really scary to do ERP. It's not easy. It's not supposed to be easy. If it was easy, we as a community wouldn't exist, nor OCD specialists. Because it would have been easy, and we would have gone on with our lives simply because it was easy. It's hard to do ERP. But it's worth it. And those people who still think they can't do ERP. They can instead actually try "Do nothing" about the intrusive thoughts thing. We are already exposed to intrusive thoughts whether we consciously do it or not in the case of ERP. But take the opportunity and use those intrusive thoughts as exposure and change our response around it. Sometimes I sound like I don't have OCD. And I know that. I suffer from OCD just like you do. I suffer from Pure O, Magical thinking, and superstitious numbers, and the list can go on. Even as I am writing this, my OCD is like erase that sentence and think about something positive or else something bad will happen. So what have I done then? Nothing. How do I feel? Terrible! And the distress is too uncomfortable. But this way I know, I am starving OCD. And then it tries its best to change and attack other things that I value and love. But once you decide and tell yourself with courage that, I can candle anything that OCD throws at me, that's when you claim power back from OCD. OCD knows your limit of tolerance. So it always try to go higher than that. Try not to outsmart OCD. Because you can't. What you can do is sit in the discomfort and do nothing about your thoughts and compulsions. I always say this and I will say it again, it sounds so easy. But when it comes to doing, we are all back to doing compulsions, and neutralizing thoughts. Somehow it just doesn't work. Why? Because deep inside all of us we have the what ifs, and they have us fight and flight response which makes the thoughts, urges feel so real. Except, it's not dangerous at all. So an alternative to the ERP is "Do nothing". And it's not something new, nor do I take credit of inventing it. No. Most of us are tired of OCD. We need to get tired of the default responses we have for the compulsions and replace them with nothing. We can try. Stay Safe. Awais Bahar

For the past 8 months I’ve been terrified of developing schizophrenia, I’ve gone through various stages of this theme, like in the beginning I was really afraid of hallucinating and stuff like that but as the months and this obsession progressed I’ve become more afraid of having delusions and the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. In the beginning after watching a demonic horror movie or something I would start getting awful intrusive thoughts like “what if I start to believe my wife is a demon” or “what if I start believing the government is run by satan” or some shit, but now i get thoughts like that all the time and even without watching horror movies, and now the “what if I start to believe” part is gone and now the thoughts are like “what if my wife is a demon.. well you can’t prove she’s not” etc etc. my ocd or anxiety has really latched onto these delusional, demonic thoughts. I hate them so much, I have never ever believed in superstitious stuff like this before, I am a literal atheist and a secular humanist. What is wrong with me? Has anyone ever had intrusive thoughts like this?

Hi, I have never posted on a forum before because I’m scared someone will come back and say ‘it’s not OCD’. Anyway, I have always had obsessional thoughts. Always obsessed about my health and if I was going to die. I have always had intrusive thoughts and when I was around 16 I had my first awful one HOCD. This made me feel so sick and I couldn’t leave my bed. Would look at women and get groinal responses and would avoid anything LGBTQ. I then suffered with POCD, which I nearly asked to be sectioned over. Now, I am with my current partner (2months) and we are moving in together in 2 weeks. I have known him since I was 14 and have always had a thing for him. Anyway, last year there was this person at work who I forced and convinced myself to ‘like’ don’t even know if I even did to be honest. But his background is awful and everyone around me said it was a bad decision and I knew this too. We used to talk all the time but yeah, anyway… I said I didn’t want a relationship and distanced myself from him and never really thought about him. I’m now in my relationship with my current partner and I adore him. He is fully aware of what is going on in my head. I have also just started therapy. My head is comparing him to this guy at work. Makes me think they look alike, but this all stemmed from when my current partner was talking about his family past and I instantly thought oh no, I hope my family doesn’t think this is bad (they love him). So now, my head is saying ‘what if you love this other guy’ what if the reason you can’t get this out your head is because the universe is giving you a sign’ ‘what if everyone told you not to go there, then what’ the thoughts are endless and honestly, I can’t stop crying, it is making me physically sick, have panic attacks. I confess to my partner all the time and he is honestly so supportive! I feel like I’m mentally cheating or what if I’m denial. When we first got together I was fine. No thoughts and then bang I’m consumed. My head is filled with them. I feel congested with him. I feel disgusting. I look for reassurance. I constantly look on Quora and Reddit. I can’t cope. I love my current partner! And we tried getting together years ago but it wasn’t our time and since, I thought about him every now and again and now my brain is saying ‘oh see, what if it’s the same situation with this guy a work’ I just want coping mechanisms and relief. This honestly feels like torture.!!! oh and my head says ‘what if you go to therapy and discover your true desires and it turns out that it isn’t ocd’