I feel 99.9% certain that i am a doll. i cant stop thinking sbout and and its getting to the point where people are asking me if im ok but if i dont act like one somethings going to happen to me.
Know that you’re not alone, and always realize that what you’re feeling is entirely something of a false infiltration on your mind, it isn’t real and it’s something that shouldn’t even be acknowledged, nothing will happen to you, even if you act a certain way or don’t, you’re human, just like me and everyone else here on this app, you’re not alone, and you’re 100% human. and 0% Doll.
So I’ve had this thing for a long time where my OCD makes me think my ‘energy’ can slightly disrupt computers, electronics, etc because of what is actually just simple coincidences…When that happens, I just have to remind myself that my silly OCD obviously wants me to be a comic book character. OCD can be a nasty little trickster like that… so just like I’m not a part of the X-Men, you’re not a doll.
i could be fine one day and then all of a sudden go into this long period that lasts a few days, sometimes even weeks where i feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. i will be talking to my boyfriend and think to myself “ is this really my boyfriend do i even like him “ or i’ll look at my family and be like “ is this really my family “, i feel so out of touch with reality and it is so scary. things look distorted, i feel like i am behind myself 24/7, like i am watching myself through a movie or something. it is so scary and i feel like there’s something wrong with me, and what sucks is i cant even explain what i feel, and i feel extremely alone. my birthday is coming up and i feel like i wont even be able to have fun because i will feel so weird and not present at all, i dont know what to do and i will feel this way out of nowhere. some days its worse than others, idk i feel like im genuinely losing my mind or that im gonna lose my mind and go crazy. is this normal?
I dont have ocd. I really dont. It feels like im actually a lesbian. I dont feel anything for guys. I dont know how to describe my feelings. It feels like i cant escape my body or my mind. I feel stuck. It feels real. It must be real. But i cant imagine that its real. But it feels so real like im actually a lesbian. I dont want to be. Today i had urges to come out. I feel depressed. I dont wanna live. I cant escape. I just have to accept that im a lesbian.
I've been in a constant state of panic since last night. My brain...oh my brain I'm so sick of you. I have intrusive thoughts that tell me "I don't exist" "I'm already dead" The panic and hyper focusing has caused so much DPDR that I feel disconnected to where it truly feels like I ceased to exist. No matter what I tell myself, I can't calm down. Nothing is a distraction, not even video games. I don't feel real. It feels like my own voice in my head is numb. I can't concentrate, my memory is awful, and I'm just all around scared. I can't believe it's gotten to this point. I don't know what to do...I'm terrified.
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