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I used tap water for my sinus rinse and sacred I will get brain eating amoebia. I googled it and it said I should be worried. Wtf should I do?

Hello. I think the alcohol problem has been passed down through generations in my family. My grandmother on my father's side and her siblings drank, my father and his sister drank. I thought that this problem didn't concern me, because I reach for alcohol on weekends or occasionally, most often during parties or social gatherings. I don't drink during the week, for me it's time for work, duties, sports. If there's a party, I've usually had enough of it the next day. I've had my fun and it's enough for me for a while. However, sometimes I drink up to 10 portions of alcohol at a party, counting each shot, drink or glass of wine as 1 portion. It happens to me that I black out. Sometimes I don't know when to stop drinking. It seems to me that everything is fine, and then suddenly it cuts me off. I've noticed that alcohol sometimes has a bad effect on my emotions. After drinking, I'm more impulsive, I explode more easily and I argue with my partner more often. I'm terribly emotional then. Alcohol gives me a sense of joy and openness - after it I feel more confident and more sociable, which is attractive to me. I simply like to party sometimes. Unfortunately, these positive emotions are sometimes short-lived, and then I sometimes have a terrible moral hangover, like two weeks ago on Saturday. We were at a restaurant with friends and then we ended up in a club. I don't remember the end of the party. I fell asleep in the club. I feel ashamed in front of my friends. Because it's not appropriate for a woman. These thoughts tormented me terribly, even to this day I feel ashamed and it torments me. I would like to understand where my attitude to alcohol comes from and how I can control it better. Is this already alcoholism? I'm afraid I'm addicted. I also suffer from OCD and I don't know if OCD has kicked in now. Lately, this fear of being an alcoholic like my father has been paralyzing me a bit. I constantly have thoughts about whether I am an alcoholic, whether I drink too much, what if I lose control and start drinking every day or black out again. I am constantly searching for information about alcoholism, I spend days googling, asking others, analyzing past experiences. Maybe someone can relate. Thank you for your answers.

I am currently 17 and I’ve had ocd ever since I was a child. Everyone noticed around me because I was obsessed with washing n my hands and having perfect handwriting to a point where while taking notes in church, I erased the letter “e” and had my cousin fill in the letter e through my whole page of notes. I would want notebooks to be perfect often resulting in me ripping imperfect pages off and ruining the whole book. I would erase till the page ripped. Later as a kid I watched movies like coraline and was felt that because of me doing certain things, I sent myself to an alternate reality. (I know it sounds insane but I was a child with ocd). I was convinced that because I did the Bloody Mary challenge in elementary school, I sent myself into a fake alternate dimension. I would have to do the Bloody Mary challenge and even amount of times to reverse it and recall the exact events of when I did it. I also heard about the Truman show and felt that I was in a simulation and would have to do certain things to get out. This gave me severe depression in middle school. I would walk backwards on tiles to make sure it was even. I would have to touch things an even amount of times and do intrusive thoughts like breaking this keychain I made and loved. I would pet my dog and think the most horrific things of her injured and would have to pray to protect her. Eventually as I got older, my trigger became forgetting things like forgetting thoughts that could be important or important TikTok’s so every time I scrolled on TikTok I would have to scroll all the way back up and would have anxiety if the page refreshes on its own. I am obsessed with dropping or leaving stuff so I always look back like a crazy person 24/7 to see if I dropped something. I would take excessive random screenshots to not forget something or if they jog a memory. I fear I accidentally close tabs on my computer which drives me insane even if I never even touched the tab. I have a hard time throwing away empty packages just in case something is in it that I never noticed. Sometimes I become hyper aware of swallowing. I get scared because as a Christian, blasphemy is an unforgivable sin so I would have panic attacks thinking my random intrusive thoughts were real and blasphemy. I would be confused with my sexuality even though I know I’m straight. And a lot of my irrational things I am aware are crazy but still am urged to follow through even if I suffer. I get obsessed with getting good sleep and if something I did in my past will actually be a major health problem. I would think that something I did in my past is gonna make God punish me. I get obsessed with my clothes or hands getting dirty so I’m always washing it. I get obsessed with being pretty and used to screenshot like 100 photos of pretty people. I have an overall obsessive personality. I also overthink about everything I say. Overall these are my most noticeable symptoms and my story. I know 100% that I have OCD and everyone around me knows but I just never had the means to get officially diagnosed because I only recently opened up to my parents on how big of a problem my ocd actually is and I didn’t want to pay for help. This is my ocd story.

i’m having sm anxiety rn bc i had a choir christmas party yesterday at school and we had snacks and sugar and i think sm sugar can make ur ocd rise bc it’s technically caffeine but also since i’m a senior in high school we had this thing for seniors and i got 2 cookies i ate that so i think it generally messed with my anxiety and ocd but when i got home i was so tired and felt bleh but i was anxious bc my fear of death ofc was like “what if ur dying?” and i’m having trouble breathing bc i woke up from a nap yesterday and i was panicking bc i thought i was gonna puke… but i woke up from a morning headache and i was anxious this morning but i’m like ugh it’s so hard bc my head feels weird and my body feels weird like almost like a burn out after anxiety?? but like i took a tylenol idk if it helped… but my head feels weird and body feels weird like almost light headed but not? and tired feeling but then my health, sucidial, and fear of death in general has been going back to back

I have asked my psychiatrist to try and increase my dose of sertraline from 200 mg, which is the max recommended dosage, to at least 225mg (studies have shown that in more severe Ocd cases, doses even up to 400 mg can really make the difference), but he refused. The reason he gave me was a possibility of developing the serotonin syndrome. Instead he prescribed an anti-psychotic, quetiapine in addition to the 200mg of Zoloft. He said it is what all psychiatrists prescribe in such cases. It has got nothing to do with the fact that I do not have any of the psychotic disorders, it just puts the cherry on the top of the sertraline cake. I am a vegan, try to eat as healthy as possible. On one hand, sertraline saves my life, it really is a blessing to me, but at the same time, on the other hand, it causes a long and hard range of physical problems. 10 years ago, and now again. After I reach the 100mg dose, I start gaining weight abnormally, my blood pressure rockets sky high, my LDL cholesterol is way too high, and I get diabetes 2. It all calms down only when I get to the 200mg of Zoloft. Interesting. Lower doses cause more problems than higher. In 2023 I gained about 27kg in 6 months. No diet, no exercise, no fasting, nothing works, I just can't lose weight on my own without medication. I ended up in hospital due to my super high blood pressure for 8 days in August 2023. Since then till now I have been to all possible specialists (cardiologist, neurologist, endocrinologist, diabetologist,....) to exclude all other possible culprits for all my problems. Every single one of them concluded that sertraline is the only one which is to blame, but since without Zoloft I have no life, and my life with it is like 90% better, it is better not to change it for another medicine and risk other complications. Instead, we should treat all the physical illnesses and conditions with the appropriate medications. It was a hell of a ride. So I went to the pharmacy and got the Kventiax (quetiapine). I read the patient directions for use. Among the very common side effects are: developing diabetes or worsening the existing condition, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, gaining a lot of weight, heart attack,... All the conditions I have been dealing with for a year and trying to get them under control with medications and guidance from specialists. I must say, I was very disappointed with my psychiatrist. He seemed to be ok, but now... he is well aware of all the health issues I have to fight because of sertraline and he prescribed a medicine that significantly worsens all of them. I refuse to take it. Instead, I contacted the very manufacturer of both Zoloft (Asentra) and Kventiax (quetiapine) and asked about the higher doses than max recommended of sertraline for ocd, about the serotonin syndrome and about my fears about quetiapine. Not only did they confirm that quetiapine very very commonly (in more than one patient out of ten) causes all the above mentioned problems, but that it is common knowledge among doctors and pharmaceutical professionals that even the lowest amounts of it can easily cause the serotonin syndrome. They stated that due to the law they can not recommend to go over the 200mg of Zoloft, but that studies show that higher doses are beneficial to some patients with ocd and that the side effects do not increase at all. There is no blood or other test to make sure that one hasn't developed the serotonin syndrome, but close cooperation of a patient and their psychiatrist can monitor it well. They basically said that if I was to change anything, it would be much smarter to increase the already existing medication (Zoloft), than introducing any other new one. I am now totally disappointed with my psychiatrist. My trust in him is on very weak legs. I am angry and sad and disappointed at the same time. He knew about all I've been through, he knows about all the medications I am taking and he bluntly refused to do what I know 100%sure would mean the world of a difference to my mental health and instead he prescribed an additional new medication, that could very possibly have killed me. I need to talk to him somehow. I am seeing him at the end of January. I have a possibility to call him, to ask for his email and send it all to him or to print it all out and send it to him via regular post. I don't know how to approach it. How do I tell him that he might have killed me. That I am an individual end not just one of all other people with ocd. How that I am terribly disappointed and feel like I can't trust his decisions with ease and confidence any longer. And that it made me feel hurt when he sort of cynically dismissed my suggestion by saying, yeah those Americans and their studies. What words do I use? I have a strong fear of conflicts. I usually come across people who when you express your opinion that is not like theirs or is in a way a show of their wrongdoings, that they become verbally aggressive, they attack and I usually become as small as a pea or my blood pressure raises and I try to get a word in edgewise so that I can stop them from walking all over me. It's always my fault and never theirs. I would greatly appreciate if you told me what you would do, how would you react and what would you say to him or write to him (my psychiatrist) if you were in my shoes. I don't want to argue with him or insult him, but I would like to tell him what he did wrong. This is serious. He could have killed me with his careless prescription of quetiapine. I am sorry for the length of the post (as usually). I just wanted to tell you the whole situation so that I could get some advice from you that could help me do what I need to do. Thank you in advance for being there when I need someone to lean on. All the best to all of you. 🙏

This should be common sense, but unfortunately I stumble down these rabbit holes and subreddits because I have a complicated health problem, and am trying to seek a similar community. I have sought out medical advice with no real conclusion and ocd anxiety makes things worse so I guess this is a form of compulsion? I’m not exactly sure anymore. Anyways, I had a strange experience last night where I had a bit of swelling and discomfort in my mouth and fingers. I took an antihistamine just in case, and the issue resolved itself. I posted in a histamine intolerance subreddit asking if anyone has experienced similar as there was no known trigger. Well, someone told me it was anaphylaxis and that I had to be more careful with what I ate. Anaphylaxis is already a trigger of mine, and although I know logically it couldn’t have been, the opinion of another person feels like confirmation. I am now afraid to eat or drink because of it. I am unsure if posting on subreddits was a compulsion now but please be careful with anything like that. It can make things so much worse.

tw / this theme is literally ruining my life. I can’t get a moments peace, all the symptoms I have feel so real and googling the symptoms caused more to show up and it’s so scary now. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I might actually have it and I’m so scared. nothing is helping. I’m going to be stuck in this theme forever or actually become psychotic or schizophrenic. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m over analyzing every little symptom as possible schizophrenia, and no matter how many times people tell me “crazy people don’t know they’re crazy”, my ocd still has me convinced I have it or I’m developing it. I’m so, so sick of my anxiety and ocd. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel trapped. these are just some of my symptoms: - Almost constantly seeing something out of the corner of my eye, shadows/figures/moving, etc. - Difficulty concentrating. - Newer symptom - difficulty talking (more frequent pauses in talking, forgetting what I was saying, struggling to find words, struggling to form sentences for a minute before I figure it out) - Extremely stressed and anxious almost at all times. - Extreme fear of losing my mind - Occasional feeling of impending doom - Forgetfulness (easily forgetting what I was saying/doing or what I was going to say/do) - Constantly pausing or rewinding videos/TV to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating the sound. - Occasional thoughts of “is this real?” “What if I’m actually just dreaming?” “Am I hallucinating all of this?” type of thing. - Difficulty getting to sleep, every night I don’t sleep until like 1-2 a.m. when I inevitably can’t keep my eyes open anymore and pass out, frequently wake up throughout the night Side note on this one: I’m afraid to sleep due to my OCD convincing me that something will happen in my sleep or I’ll sleepwalk or something like that. - Dissociation/zoning out - Almost always tired/yawning/exhausted/heavy eye feeling - Lack of interest in hobbies/shows/etc I’m so, so tired. I feel so hopeless and like my worst fears are actually coming true. Googling schizophrenia and psychosis just caused more symptoms and now I feel miserable. I wish I didn’t have to worry about this. I wish I could live happily and carefree. all of this venting and still nothing seems to help. Nothings helping. I’m just going to be stuck like this forever. I want to cry, I want to break down. I’m sick of living in fear. I’m sick of questioning my sanity. Now I’m spiraling that maybe I am schizophrenic or psychotic and this is just the beginning and it’s just going to get worse from here and I’ll end up losing myself and my mind/sanity. What if I lose the ones I love around me because they can’t stand me anymore. Im worried im not going to be myself anymore and im never going to recover and its just going to get worse.

Do you want to know what it's like for someone without OCD to be a Dad for an OCD son? I don't mean to add to your struggles, but I feel it's important for you to understand how your therapist, father, or mother might feel. We also have thoughts and fears—like worrying about not having enough money to support you, or concerns about our health and ability to work, pay for your college, or buy the new shoes you need. We fear seeing you struggle more deeply with your thoughts and anxiety episodes while feeling helpless. We grieve that we didn't recognize your condition earlier so we could have helped you better. Yet, despite all these fears and sadness, having you around brings us immense joy. Please know that each of you is deeply loved by someone who would sacrifice everything for you. Yes, we sometimes lose our temper and get upset, but it's not with you. It's the frustration of not understanding what's happening with you that upsets us. Feeling helpless drives us crazy. If OCD were a person, count me as its kiler. Love to all of you, and wishing you a speedy recovery.

Hi, this is my first post. I am very nervous reaching out as I haven’t ever done so before publicly. I found out a year ago I had ocd and since then it’s been very clear that I have had it for a long time. I currently struggle with health ocd, death ocd, and I’m sure others as well, I always am scared I have or will develop an illness or schizophrenia. One thing I’m struggling with is depersonalization/derealization. I am under a lot of stress being in nursing school right now so maybe when I’m don’t with school I will feel better. Also I recently switched my medication to sertraline. I have been on it about a month and 1/2 but just increased my dose. It is worse when I first wake up. I am going to go see a therapist again once my PCP gets back to me with one that specializes in ocd. If anyone has had similar situations or recommendations to help me get back to feeling better that would be so greatly appreciated. I am also embarrassed to say I’m scared of getting schizophrenia. The obsessed with that began a year ago when I was taking psychology class. I became so afraid of getting it that I am constantly looking for signs or symptoms. It drives me bonkers. I would like to overcome that fear all together. Please give me advice. Thanks.

Hi Everyone, Im new to the site and just wanted to share a bit about my OCD story. Between the ages of 10-12 i had my first OCD episode, (of course didnt know it was OCD), this came in the form of thinking of past events and other things and the anxiety got so bad i had to tell my mum, due to how frequent and how bad these thoughts got it upset my mum badly and the main thing i remember is her saying ‘are you just trying to get my attention!’… she took me to the doctors, i have no idea what was said because they sent me out of the room. After this i felt i couldnt speak to anyone about anything like this ever again. Ive had thoughts all my life which again didnt know it was OCD, it all just became normal to me, i had a lot of different thoughts throughout the years e.g i was pregnant even though i had not been intimate with anyone, any kind of blood i saw even from far away had given me HIV, the end of the world, if i wore the colour black to bed i would die, i had to speak in a certain accent in drama class one time or my family will die… the list goes on, some of these are will me now still. October this year i had a breakdown due to what i now know to be POCD… it got me to the point i didnt want to be here anymore… i finally spoke to my girlfriend about it who did some researching and said it must be OCD, after doing some research of my own it all started clicking and falling into place. I have good days, okay days and rubbish days, my thoughts have calmed down since going on SSRI’s, but they do pop up every now and again, i am questioning myself constantly though due to the thoughts going quiet, ‘is it actually OCD’, ‘what if it isnt’… its driving me insane… so yeah thats a bit about me!!

I am a 22 year old man located in Indianapolis, Indiana. I have struggled with OCD my whole life, but two years ago I slipped into a loop of analyzing symptoms and convincing myself I was dying. Since then, it has come and gone monthly, with very little time in between. My symptoms feel oh so real to me. Tests, of course, all come back clear. My question is: has anyone gone through this and actually become better? I am constantly afraid and grappling with my own mortality, as well as just sincerely being in very real physical discomfort. I have lost jobs, scholarships, and a longterm girlfriend in part due to this disorder of mine. I can’t help but feel like a burden or broken record to my support system who has stuck around. Bless them. I’m beginning to lose all hope. How can I make life worth living again? Is there any hope for me at all? Success stories? Advice? Much love to anyone this reaches. Please keep me in your hearts.

my hands and arms are breaking out into an itchy and bumpy rash from how much rubbing alcohol and sanitizer i put on my skin. it hurts and it burns. i dont know how to stop doing this. i physically cant make myself stop. washing my hands is inconvenient to do as often and sanitizer, but even if i did hand wash, id still use sanitizer anyway for other reasons. how do i stop doing this?

Has anyone on here been on Lexapro before ? I just recently started it and I just wanted to see if anyone went through similar symptoms and if they went away at all. It started out as me feeling extremely tired all day long and now recently I feel numb like I have no feeling or reaction to anything like I used to before starting this medication. Has anyone gone through this? Does it go away after a while? Do you end up feeling normal and able to cope with the OCD better? Any feedback would be really helpful. Thank you

I've seen a video last week where i learned that slowly we have to ask ourself why do we feel anxious, what that emotion is about. Im sure this is not about ocd anxiety, this is more like a daily or ocassionally anxiety and it might help if we realize what is that emotion is about. The problem is that since then im spinning and i want to and i feel like i need to know the reasom of every anxious feeling, im feeling anxious right now and i dont know the reason but i keep thinking like o need to know it cause if i dont do that it will stay here and become stronger and it will affect my health. I cant enjoy my day cause i have to think about why do i feel anxious and if i dont do then i feel horrible, i feel attacked, the anxiety gets worse and its like im pushing away, it is a bad idea, i should realize whats the problem cause either way i will deal with this in the future too, i will feel this today too and it beats me up... Maybe its helpful to know the reason of some of your anxieties but this one got out of hand and i dont feel comfortable and im keep spinning,cant live my life...

Is there anyone here with ocd who is taking sertraline such as Zoloft or Asentra in dosages higher than 200mg, which is the official max recommended dosage? How do you and your doctor make sure you have not developed the serotonin syndrome? Do doses over 200mg make a significant difference in managing ocd for you? I would appreciate your answers.

My ex therapist said I was probably a lesbian if I had these thoughts, she never diagnosed me with ocd even if I was so obsessed with being sick that I used to go every day to the hospital for years. I was so obsessed with not loving my ex boyfriend, my mom, my Friends that I used to cry every day and Watch their pictures all the time to see if I loved Them. I Changed therapist and She immediately diagnosed me with ocd. But i'm scared to go to therapy now, because of my ex therapist. What If the second One is wrong and First was right? What If they can see things about myself I can't see yet. I'm terrified. I don't want to talk about myself anymore to anyone.

Hey all. I’ve been reading all your posts on here and I can definitely relate. I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD but I know that I have it. My main OCD is contamination and health anxiety OCD. I noticed that my OCD started getting worse around 2019-2020 at the time of the pandemic. However I feel like my Contamination and health anxiety OCD is worse than many people on here due to circumstances in my life. Okay so during COVID 19 I had a Asthma problem which gave have a asthma attack. I am not sure if I still have asthma because it’s possible that I can grow out of it (I’m 19), but I’m having tests done by my doctor to see if I do and even if I do it’s very very mild asthma. Now I have to use a inhaler with a device called a spacer which is important in getting medication into your lungs when you have asthma. Now I don’t worry about my asthma when I use my inhaler correctly. Here is where OCD attacks me, the spacer device for asthma needs to be cleaned fortnightly to work properly. My OCD contamination anxiety has a very big fear of ✨Glitter✨, it sounds crazy but I am absolutely terrified of glitter not just because it’s messy and gets everywhere like many other people with contamination anxiety know with similar things. But also I’m terrified of glitter going onto my asthma spacer causing it to fail working which would cause my asthma medication to not get into my lungs which MIGHT have a adverse effect on my health (I say MIGHT because I’m still having asthma tests done). So my contamination OCD is also a fear of my health. My OCD is stopping me living my life for example my local gas/petrol station has a mini Christmas tree full of glitter at the checkout, I went there the other day and had a massive Compulsion to get away from the glitter and clean everything on me before I went into my house. If I went into my house my house would have been contaminated. I barley go into shops of stores or anywhere this time of year because of the Christmas decorations with glitter on them. I know ERP works over time but I cannot see myself going near any glitter because I think it will put me in hospital. Thank you for reading guys.

For context, I have severe health OCD and contamination OCD. I also am possibly on the autism spectrum. Sometimes I truly wonder if it actually is this debilitating or if something else is underlying. I can’t go out in public anymore, my physical symptoms are so severe that I can’t do anything but lay in bed, they are so severe that I wonder if it’s a chronic illness instead, I can’t do my online school work, I can’t hang out with friends, I don’t enjoy things I normally would anymore, I’m starting to lose hope, every day I’m unbalanced, floaty feeling, pressure on my chest, weird tightness where my heart is, PVC beats, headaches, my heart races when I get up, I feel weak, I’m so tired not physically but mentally, I don’t have motivation to keep up with my hygiene, I can’t even walk down the road without panicking, I can hardly even sit in a car to go to the doctors, my appetite is completely lost and I’ve started losing weight, I’ve started to even get depressed because I realize how sad my life is, I worry over every single symptom and every sensation I feel. Everything feels so real and so intense. It ruined my birthday, I didn’t even enjoy it or do anything. I’m so exhausted. I’m not even exaggerating, I eat, drink water, sleep, and lay in bed all day. I don’t do anything. I’m only 17 and it already feels like my life is about half over. Each day that goes by feels so hopeless and meaningless that they have started to merge. I really started to go downhill whenever the election happened. Then my therapist didn’t have any openings for 3 more weeks so I haven’t left the house, my life 360 says I’ve been in my home since “November 14th” my symptoms got really bad (which i definitely was sick with something looking back), and now I just feel the same symptoms I listened above every day. I stopped taking hydroxyzine cause I found out that it can cause heart issues and haven’t felt safe to take it since. I was prescribed Zoloft for the second time, it worked the first time but now my mind is too scared to take it again for fear it may make me worse. So I can’t take medication. I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore, my life is so depressing. I’ve just started to go completely downhill. I’m 2022 this is the month that I went to a mental hospital for the first time, I’m about to make it a second cause i genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. Is OCD really this debilitating? It feels like I genuinely have to have something else, there’s no way that something mental can really cause this much devastation in someone’s life. Right? I don’t even know anymore. I’m trying to stay positive but I just want to break down and cry. I feel so lost and hopeless, am I really this broken mentally that it’s ruining my entire life? I would appreciate any support and motivation to keep going because I genuinely feel emotionless.

I've struggled with untreated Real Event OCD for years. Recently, it's gotten worse though. I just really don't "feel right." Like my brain is constanly on fire and inflamed and "blocked" in some way. Basically I've had my little OCD "system" of intrusive thought --> ruminate --> deal with the issue mentally --> do compulsion (writing it down) so I actually "remember" that it was "dealt with." Rinse and repeat. I do "delay" the rumination a lot. Which brings me to my latest episode -- I came across a "paradoxal" issue that I couldn't get a resolution to. For WEEKS. This put me in a strange head space. I was perpetually delaying it. This, I believe, caused my new "brain symptoms." It actually feels like OCD itself -- or not dealing with the issue -- created an actual "traumatic experience." During those weeks, and still today, I've experienced: - Brain fog - Burnt out - Constant tension headaches - Emotionally numb (sometimes) - Trouble focusing sometimes - Mental fatigue - Info overload - Sundowning (like a mf'n 90 year old!) - Dread / empty feeling, especially when I wake up in the morning - A lot of doubt and second guessing - Been waking up every single night in the the middle of the night. Not feeling like I'm getting good sleep. - Health anxiety (or is it real?) -- am I getting demenia, am I getting early onset Alzeheimers? I went to see a neuoriolgist and she said I don't have dementia. Ordered a MRI / brain scan mainly for peace of mind (pardon the pun) and Magnesium + B2 - which I haven't started yet. What's so f'd up is that even after "deadling" with that paradoxal issue -- which DID bring some relief -- I'm still experiencing a lot of brain fog, emotional numbness, focus problems, mental fatigue, etc. still. Is this my new normal? What happens when OCD daily triggers chronic stress. What happens when chronic stress is the status quo and you can't "get back" to the person you were before or the cognitive state you were at before? It's one thing for OCD to rob your joy, time, peace of mind, etc. but for it to turn into an actual medical brain issue is scary af and creates even more stress and anxiety.

My mom and I have always been very codependent on eachother. A few months ago we found out she had gallbladder cancer stage 4 that spread everywhere. Now it's getting to the end, this is the last thing me and my family expected, I have never been the strong one, my mom always has, but I have not left her side during this whole thing. I already feel the pain of losing her coming on and it already feels unbearable. I was just wondering if anyone else is or was close to a parent who has passed at a young age and just felt helpless and like they couldn't handle it. Any stories and helpful tips about this subject would help me alot. I don't know where else to turn except to find a psychologist.