Welcome to
the NOCD Community

For those who have stepped away from religion, did your OCD and scrupulosity become more manageable? Where you able to stop thinking about spirituality?

The thoughts I’ve been stuggling most recently is ”is the world real or am i really in a simulation” (solipsism and such) of course i dont truly belive in it but it feels impossible to disprove, and the thought of being completely alone distresses me greatly. I know i shouldnt ruminate but it feels nearly impossible to not when everything i exprience is in doubt. It also relates to my original harm-ocd. Anyone who can relate?

What should you do when OCD stops you from doing the things that you love the most, for instance, before OCD happened I used to be a huge fitness enthousiaste, going to the gym 4 times a week and now I can barely find the energy to do so, it's not the same how I was prior to OCD and I'm so scared that OCD would rob me of my life

so a few months ago i heard about “the lamp” story on reddit. it’s sent me into overdrive since and i’ve been struggling extremely bad since i heard about it. earlier today i was showing my friends my tattoo, i was telling them what it said off memory but they corrected me and said “no it’s says “until being strong is the only choice you have” and i can and have only remembered it said “strength is the only choice you have”. (that is not the full tattoo that is just the part that was mixed up). it instantly brought me back to the lamp story … in the story he saw a lamp was looking “odd” or “warping” and it caused him to wake up from a coma. in his dream he had a family and a whole life and a job and all and came to find out none of it was real. since then i have been struggling with nothing being real and convincing myself i am also in a situation similar. my brain instantly brought me into hyperdrive and has told me the tattoo is my “lamp” and it is going cause me to wake up from a coma because it’s not what i remember it being. please tell me someone understands. i am really not okay and in all honesty i feel like im going insane.

Not reassurance seeking but is it possible to feel so overwhelmed by your thoughts that you feel like you are going insane 🫠

I've been having issues with being so scared about death that my mind tells me that I should just kill myself to avoid the fear. The thing is, I love life. I don't want to die and I want to see it out to the end, but there have been times where I felt like I could just *do it* because my mind told me it was the calmer route (i.e., if im dead, I dont have to think about the fact that I will die). It really upsets me that these thoughts come into my head so much because I know they're not mine. Even knowing that they're not mine makes me uncomfortable because, if they aren't mine, why do I continue to think the same things?? Why do I keep telling myself that I should do it when I don't want to. It's so frustrating and scary I don't want to hurt myself (and I haven't for a very long time), but just knowing these thoughts are here is really worrying to me.

Is it normal to go numb to thoughts? I’ve been struggling for 3 months with intense fear and all of a sudden I am not anymore. While this may seem like healing, I’m incredibly worried I’m not scared anymore. I know that’s crazy. It’s causing me to be scared that the thoughts are mine because I’m not reacting to them.

I’m getting married in November to the love of my life. I’ve been with him for over 5 years and I’m so excited but I’ve struggle sexual identity over the past and now with the wedding coming up, my intrusive thoughts and the constant theme of identity keep showing up in my head. From what I wear to how I act, I can’t just enjoy being myself. I know who I am but anytime my SOOCD comes up, it just wipes my identity completely out. I’m trying to ignore it and tell myself I don’t need to label myself as anything but I’m having constant intrusive dreams lately and it’s messing with my daily life

My partner was high and so was I and he just said “is this real like is this really real” and my theme right now is I’m convinced I’m in a dream or not real and this is a false reality or something, I had therapy early today and that helped so much and then I was feeling hopeful that i was gonna get better and the theme was going away and then he said that and I’m spiraling, please help

I feel like I’m going crazy and second guessing everything rn. I keep wondering if I did or said anything racist and I just can’t remember or I did and i didn’t acknowledge it. I feel like people at my school hate me or are ignoring me. I don’t know how to get out of this endless loop of doubting myself. I know I would never do such a thing but I keep second guessing myself. Im starting to believe I’m a terrible person and I don’t know how to prove myself otherwise.

Hi! I have a recurring thought that I need help reasoning about. I'm 21 years old and have been struggling with OCD since I was very young, and it's been worse than ever since I turned 16. Anyway, I'm young now and I don't plan on having children until I'm maybe around 30. Unfortunately, I have a strong fear for the future, what if I can't have children because they might also be affected by OCD? I've experienced most themes, and I wouldn't wish this terrible illness on my worst enemy, so how can I possibly risk my future child having it?

I wonder what it’s like to think normally. I wonder what it’s like to not think so deeply and obsessively over something. I wonder what it’s like to not think so negatively about something you don’t even want to. I wonder what it’s like to not have anxiety over the littlest things

Hi everyone! I really do not mean to seem complaining or strange, or to be a burden, and I really hope my message will not be innappropiate in any way! I am a christian and for a few years/months I have been feeling extremely lonely.. Other than struggling with OCD, I also am struggling with other things that I am a bit afraid to talk about here 🙏🏻 I feel like some people ( in church) are willing to help me, maybe! but they may be unable because they do not know what OCD or some other things are like.. sometimes I am afraid to talk about them... it makes me feel a bit alone I am sorry if this might be a strange or confusing message.. 🙏🏻

i can’t understand how other people don’t constantly think about death. like, it’s final. it’s unavoidable. it’s just the end. no more me. i’m going to die someday and it’s so scary it makes me physically sick. i can’t eat or sleep or leave my house or go a single minute without thinking about it. i can’t even describe the anxiety it causes. my other obsessions don’t even affect me anymore. death is real. that’s the one thing in life that is guaranteed. it’s going to happen. why doesn’t this freak everyone else out?? i’m trying to do exposures for myself. just writing these things down. it’s so difficult. if any one has any easier exposures, please let me know. i’m started Paxil tomorrow and i’m hoping it helps with the anxiety so it’ll be easier to do the exposures but i can’t function at all anymore. i always told myself id never make a post on here but i really need help

Am I bad person? My mom passed away from brain cancer a few months ago. A friend of mines mom also has cancer. But their mom has been improving and doing better. While I’m happy for them I’m jealous that they get their mom to be able to recover and mine died. I feel really bad feeling this way but it just doesn’t seem fair

Whenever I have thoughts about things that are hard for me to handle I have intrusive thoughts about letting myself die and go to hell and I'm tired and I'm worried that I carelessly agreed that I wanted to die and go to hell and now I'm scared what if I ended up agreeing to it!? I'm panicking. I know God knows my heart and I'm really tired and the thought happened when I was under stress but I had an intrusive thought saying I wanted to die like that and I think I carelessly agreed to it (although I know fighting your thoughts makes OCD worse)

I love the fact God is a loving God. But I also hate the fact that because of that it means that everything I do is my fault, like going to hell. I am going in spirals reading things to see how to believe or how to be saved, called out to Jesus. Scared that I will never produce fruit of the Spirit (Event hoguh Jesus does it in our lives) and that God hasn't written my name in the book of life... I want new desires but I have none, I get very scared of the book of James in the bible or lukewarm in Revelation. Matter of fact I don't even know how to repent, my heart isn't right and I just wish that I had the gifts of the Holy Spirit...

I know I am not saved. I can't repent and know when judgementday comes I am doomed. I wish I never existed.

I’ve had this problem for a few months I question if I actually believe myself, it could be something small like my fav color or if I really love someone. If I think I like something my brain automatically goes to “you only like it because you think people want you to like it” even if I’m saying that I like something in my head and no one would ever know, it’s just small things throughout my day like that; that have me questioning who I am and if I even know anything about myself. I don’t know if this is related to ocd and would like to know if anyone has experienced this.

Let me preface this by saying all three of my cats are alive, well, and healthy. Does anyone else get really distressed by their pets’ mortality? Like I cannot escape thoughts about their health, wondering if they’re happy, if I’m a good caregiver, worrying about when they’ll pass and how hard that will be and that I’ll inevitably feel like I’ve failed them. I feel intensely guilty often for things like leaving for work or not allowing them in the bedroom when I sleep (bc they keep me up) even though logically I know I shouldn’t feel bad. And I have a lot of guilt about not being able to take a past cat while leaving an abusive situation three years ago (she is definitely okay, she’s well cared for, I checked with an old mutual friend). I just love them so much, I want them to be okay.