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I’m having major dark depression and ocd. Medication is not working. I am 6 weeks post partum. Please someone give me guidance on what to do. It is getting worse each day.

If you live with OCD, it’s important to understand that troubling, unwanted thoughts often appear randomly and are not something you can control. These thoughts do not reflect who you truly are or what you truly believe. Trying to fight them or blame yourself for having them only gives these thoughts more power, making things harder for you. Imagine these intrusive thoughts as a persistent liar trying to accuse you of bad things. Arguing with this liar is pointless because their goal is to upset you. Every time you engage and fight back, you waste your energy and give the liar what they want. The best response is to ignore them, knowing their accusations are meaningless. In the same way, when these thoughts emerge, recognize that they are just mental noise. They do not define you and do not require your energy or attention. Remember, these thoughts are random intrusions that do not represent your true self or values. You don’t have to try to fix or control them. Instead, acknowledge their presence without judgment and let them pass naturally. With practice, you can learn to reduce their hold on you and focus on what truly matters—your life and the values that define you It’s understandable to think, “Easy said than done.” Managing these thoughts is challenging, and it takes time and effort. It’s okay if you don’t get it right immediately. The important thing is to be patient and kind to yourself during this process. Small steps, like noticing when you’re engaging with the thoughts and gently redirecting your focus, can gradually build your ability to cope. Remember, you’re not alone in this, and support from professionals and loved ones can make the journey easier.

Hi guys! I posted 3 nights ago that I was starting Lexapro 5mg, and I took my third dose last night. So far it's been okay, and the worst side effect I've had is waking up in the middle of the night (after about 4-5 hours of sleep) with a ton of anxiety and racing thoughts. Additionally, my intrusive thoughts have gotten a lot louder and it's like my OCD is playing wack-a-mole. Part of the reason I was scared to start medication is because my OCD is latched onto my fear of developing some other mental disorder, and it's telling me that I have undiagnosed bipolar disorder and will develop mania from taking this SSRI (I want to add that my rational brain knows this wouldn't be the end of world, but my OCD brain tells me it would be). This fear has definitely been made worse by me waking up for 1-2 hours every night since starting, and then of course I've been going down the Reddit rabbit hole each time and convincing myself this is mania. I haven't had this much nighttime anxiety followed by constant researching since I was originally diagnosed this past spring, and it's really worrying me and making me not want to continue taking this (even though I know I should push through!). I will say that while it's hard to fall back asleep, I usually do for another 2 hours or so. I usually just lay there watching TV until I can, and this is also making me so sleepy the next day. I also haven't feel any like feelings of euphoria (if anything it's been the opposite because I'm so worried), and I spend a good chunk of my day scanning for any symptoms of mania. Last night I even did an imaginal exposure where I was like "maybe I am bipolar, maybe I'm not. Maybe I will develop mania, maybe I won't". I'm trying to not sound like I'm asking for reassurance here because I know that's another compulsion, but has anyone else experienced any of this when starting an SSRI? Any tips to dealing with this increased anxiety?

TW POCD. Feeling really down today. Would appreciate some advice/opinion on this. I confessed to my older sister the cause of my POCD about a year ago, because I genuinely couldn't handle it anymore on my own, and the weight of feeling like I was hiding this from her was too much. A part of me is relieved and glad that I don't have to feel like I'm lying anymore, but many times I feel so disgusting and wonder if she likes me less now. For example, today I got really triggered out of nowhere. I was having dinner with her, and my sister was talking about how she told her coworkers she liked Ghibli; and how she got a bunch of Totoro merch even if she didn't like it that much. I told her that if anything the two girls are cuter than Totoro, and I immediately felt so awkward after saying that. I regret it so much. There was this second of silence after I said it and I thought "she thinks I meant it in a creepy way". I should've just said "it's because Totoro has more merch" or literally anything but that. She picked up the conversation like normal after that happened, but my mind just stayed in that moment. I don't want my sister to be disgusted by me, but many times all I can think about is "she's just pretending to like you because you're family, she has no other choice". And it sucks. Thanks to anyone who reads this.

I’m stuck in a war because I keep thinking my boyfriend is going to breakup with me, which then leads me to want to google the signs, but if I google the signs I know it will not make me feel better, but not googling the sign is making me think that I don’t wanna google it because I know that I’ll get an answer I don’t want and that’s why I’m avoiding googling it. Which is true I am SCARED I don’t know that I’ll see answers I don’t want to see. So then I’m thinking do I now google it for erp because I’m avoiding googling and maybe it would be good to see the sign and go maybe this is happening maybe it’s not but I also know googling is a compulsion so I should resist googling. So I’m stuck.

Hello! I'm very newly diagnosed. What books, podcasts, or content creators have helped you on your journey?

I am so sorry for how long this is, but please help me. A little over a year ago, my roommate had her birthday party and there was drinking involved. My boyfriend had come over with his roommates and my roommate invited three of her friends from high school (two of them were dating at the time.) Toward the end of the night, her one friend left to get food and she (my roommate) left to sleep at her boyfriend’s who happens to be one of my boyfriend’s roommates. So now it is me, my boyfriend, his roommate, and the couple who is friends with my roommate. My boyfriend and his friend were dancing and singing and I had joined in dancing with my boyfriend, but he stopped claiming he had to throw up. I told him to go to the bathroom as I started offering the other three people snacks and water. I started talking to the couple, and I don’t fully know where my boyfriend’s roommate went, but I think he was standing by the front door which wasn’t far from my bedroom door. After some talking, I said to them “let me go check on (my boyfriend’s name).” The three of them left, the couple went to get food. I walked into my bathroom to help clean him up and get him in pajamas. I for some reason have a memory of thinking *I need to tell him that but not now.* I have no clue what “that” was. I get him in bed and I go back out to clean and wait for the three friends of my roommate to get back. All of a sudden my boyfriend’s fourth roommate came over to chat, and not too long after came the guy (the other roommate) from earlier when my boyfriend was sick. We all sat on the couch and I was telling a story of this one girl who flirted with my boyfriend and they were joking around about how I should’ve called her out on it. Eventually all the friends get back and I head to bed. I had to wake up early for plans I had made with friends, so I only got around 4 hours of sleep after drinking. I woke up in a panic thinking that my boyfriend’s roommate kissed me when I was on the way to the bathroom to check on him. Now that scenario doesn’t even make sense because how could that even happen, but I was panicked. I texted my roommates friend (the boy in the relationship of her two friends) and asked him what had happened. He said we danced and sang, I sent my boyfriend to the bathroom, I chatted, and I went to check on him. That was all he said happened. I didn’t tell him what my brain was telling me happened, but I kept egging him on because I thought he was lying to keep me safe. He kept confirming that nothing embarrassing happened and I was fine. We had a total of three conversations about it. I finally calmed down and assumed maybe I dreamt that and thought it was real or my brain is trying to twist the night to make me look bad. I chose to believe the reassurance given to me by my roommates friend. Fast forward to now, about a year and a month past the night. All of a sudden I am so hooked on this night and trying to figure it out. I am rereading the messages, rereading a notes section I made where I detailed each moment from the night after my roommates friend said what happened. I am contemplating texting him about it again even though we don’t talk anymore because I am so scared I did a terrible thing. I don’t know how false memory works and if my mind can make things up. I am so scared I ruined my relationship because I love my boyfriend so much and I would never do anything to hurt him at all. But, I don’t know what I was contemplating telling him when I was helping him (or if that thought actually happened in that moment) and I don’t know if that kiss had actually happened because it makes no sense in the context of the story, I had no weird feelings when he came back to my apartment after the supposed kiss would’ve happened, and we talked about a girl going after my man, which I don’t think I would’ve done if I cheated. I am so scared. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what is real and what is fake. I am trying to reread the messages and even though they don’t say that happened, I don’t believe them. Even though the “memory” isn’t clear and I can’t fully imagine the interaction, I am so scared it happened. Please help.

Recently I’ve been struggling with thinking God is going to take my boyfriend away. I said I wanted to put God first in our relationship and now have been super anxious. All day I’ve thought about what if we aren’t meant to be together and God takes him away. Or if I’m starting to lose feelings because I’ve felt so weird. I don’t want to live life without him but then I start convincing myself that I’m in denial of wanting to leave him and when I try to comfort myself I think I’m in denial. It’s a horrible spiral and I don’t know how to help get myself out of it and love my boyfriend the best I can.

In an effort to prepare myself for the impending ERP, I decided a couple of months ago (prior to starting therapy) to work on a new exposure that I was sure would “poke the bear” that is my contamination-related OCD. Despite 20+ years of therapy, I still have daily struggles with my contamination obsessions and compulsions, including vacuuming and using the swifter to clean the floors of our home after we have visitors. Let me explain… My wife and I have a no-shoes rule in our house because our 8-month-old and 3-year-old rugrats are always on the move. But c’mon, this couldn’t be enough to satisfy my OCD, could it?! Nooooo. My OCD’s line of thinking is this: Even if a visitor takes their shoes off before coming into my home, that doesn’t mean the socks that they’re wearing don’t have similar “contaminations.” Maybe they wore those socks in their house where they allow shoes to also be worn. So, if they’re wearing socks and walk where someone is wearing shoes, and then come into my home wearing those same socks = Like, zoinks, Scoob! *I’d like to take this moment to thank anyone who a) completely understood what I just wrote, b) had to stop and think about it a bit more before realizing what I wrote or c) still don’t understand what I mean but are still reading. My latest exposure is ongoing and has been to avoid this cleaning when my mom comes over to watch our kids. Currently, my mom left our home two days ago and I have not yet cleaned the floors. All this to say: I have days when I don’t feel hope. But beginning my NOCD journey has reignited this hope and I already feel the support of this community. I’m excited to give any advice I might have to offer, but more importantly, I can’t wait to learn from all of you.

Where have you noticed OCD characters in TV shows, movies, etc? Thinking of a scene in modern family when Mitchell starts cleaning his office & gets stuck crawling into an air vent… lol he also ran out of things to clean and wiped the Clorox container with a Clorox wipe. Saw that episode before I was diagnosed and realized most people don’t do those things that I thought were relatable 😂

I’m in my 30s and just got diagnosed with OCD. It feels like a mix of relief, validation, and overwhelm. So much work ahead of me and can’t afford therapy right now. Had to go stay out of state in the house I was chronically traumatized in with the parent who harmed me most after my safe/loving parent died unexpectedly. I was there for several months and me, my partner, and our animals all got very sick. The house is legitimately contaminated- infested with black mold, mildew, cockroaches, termites, asbestos. It’s also “contaminated” with my childhood trauma. It stirred up a lot of OCD. There’s a new worry that my parent died because of me in some way, and that I might accidentally cause someone else I love to die if I don’t do x, y, z. Also worry that us being there might have long term effects & I’m the reason we were there. I’m scared my animals might have been exposed to something horrible and could die because we were there. I took them both to the vet and did some testing but feel embarrassed of how others perceive me when I express my concerns that are often hypochondriac based. I’m so physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted. When I start to relax, my anxiety/ OCD runs rampant trying to find something to feel bad about myself for. Dealing with resentment related to my family system, and the other adults in my life who didn’t do anything to protect me as a child despite me begging for help. Then I feel bad for not appreciating the love & kindness & privilege I did have. My living parent was saying lots of things that reignited old worries & created new ones. I’m home now, but the clothes/ personal items I brought there & special stuff I inherited or brought home is stressing me out. I’m worried it’s contaminating my clean safe space and I can never truly get away. I’m recognizing how that environment I grew up in conditioned this level of OCD distress. I need to start a new job now that I’m home, but it’s hard to do anything… cue the “I’m a bad person” thoughts. Applying for jobs is stressful too. I know I’m highly qualified but that’s stressing me out because I’m worried I’ll get an offer or an interview before I’m truly ready/ capable to start. I don’t have money to keep waiting and need health insurance ASAP. Worried I’ll accept a job that doesn’t have as good of insurance as a hypothetical other opportunity. It’s all so overwhelming and I’m really struggling to calm my mind, body, & soul. I’m not sure what I’m looking for from this post. Maybe ideas of how to quiet/ calm the panicked rumination that keeps creeping in as I settle in so I can feel more grounded & emotionally stable? Any coping skills that have helped you for these patterns/ themes? How you handle perfectionist tendencies in work environments?

Reminders: You are not your thoughts. Not all thoughts are yours. You are made in the image of God. You are valuable. OCD is not some lifelong disease (pure nonsense). You can defeat OCD-thinking. You can experience an organized and lucid mind. You are capable of hitting the reset button and starting new. You are capable of letting intrusive thoughts pass by. You have lots of tools at your disposal (ERP therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, prayer/faith, exercise, hobbies). You have people pulling for you. You are loved. You are capable of tolerating anxiety. You are capable of wondrous and great things. Life is an absolute gift and miraculous and amazing and you can see it that way again. Time to absolutely destroy OCD. Now. Today. Do exposures. Tolerate anxiety. Laugh at the thoughts. Dismiss them. Pray. Call on the name of Christ. Exercise. Eat well. Build things. You've had enough of anxiety, depression, panic, dread, confusion, de-personalization, apathy, falsehood, lethargy. It is time for lucidity, organization, love, joy, peace, gratitude, motivation, faith, goodness, hope, clarity, truth. Each moment is an opportunity to reset and start fresh. You can absolutely destroy OCD thinking!

Im anxious today. It gets worse and then better, I’ve sat with it but I just need to hear someone else’s experience with this or anything. I’ve always been afraid my long-term boyfriend was going to leave me. From early on I thought he’d loose attraction or something. We got engaged two weeks ago. The last few days I’ve been so worried about his attraction to me (he takes shots for his health and has been taking them and I think they mess with his “drive”) and today I’ve really started spiraling. I’m afraid he’s gonna not be attracted to me and leave or God is going to take him out of my life and it’s really causing me distress. I haven’t had such a prominent theme in such a long time. I’ve got other life stressers and im starting to identify that maybe it is my OCD and not just a fear. I can’t think about anything else, I’ve tried running, drawing, mediation, and distraction. Anyone have any tips or similar experiences???

I feel like it’s so hard to understand everything going on with the world right now, I’m 15 and lately my mental health has been so bad and I feel a lot of it is due to how the world is currently. Sometimes it’s hard to believe I have a future, like a home, a car, all of the things I wanted because of the way the world is right now. my OCD has been nonstop up and down for the past few months, I’m trying to defeat OCD right now, and literally everytime I try to talk about it with my mom she just throws it to the side “think about something else, something positive” it hurts so bad because now involved with school and friends we all have to plan out what we will do if AI takes over and it took away everything I wanted to be. Now I have nonstop OCD loops about it as well. I stayed home from school today because I just couldn’t handle going.

Hi everyone. I just found out this morning that I’ve had OCD all my life. Have been crying all morning because I don’t know what to do. It started when I was a kid worrying that something really bad was going to happen to my mom. I would cry everytime I thought about it and never told anyone. Then, I watched a few scary movies throughout my life (not by choice) that scared me into thinking something bad was going to happen to me. Over the years into my adulthood I began to obsessively fear something bad happening to myself and my husband from driving. I avoided driving for years and would be worried each time he’d go out by himself without me. I thought all this was just anxiety and me caring so much. But then recently, those scary movies I mentioned started coming back in my mind. Scenarios of those bad things happening to my husband. It’s terrifying and the thing that I fear the most. I don’t ever ever ever want those things to happen. Some of those movies involved the husband becoming possessed and killing the wife. And a recent movie, a historical fiction: Killers of the flower moon. I am the type of person that hates anything involving hurting anything. Even if a bug gets crushed by accident, it makes me so sad. The news right now hurts me so bad, seeing people suffering. I would never hurt a fly. I am a Christian and I have faith in God to the max. I don’t understand why this is happening to me. But I just need some support. And to have let it off my chest.

I really need help getting over this. Currently freaking out over something I did when I was a freshman in high school. My sports team and I were all at a fellow teammate's house, and I don't know how we got onto the topic, but I ended up showing a really disturbing/inappropriate video to some of them. The video was being talked about online at the time, though I'm not sure everybody was aware of it. I think I warned some people beforehand, but l'm so disgusted with myself and I would never do that now. That was truly so weird of me and I'm so disgusted with the memory. I wish I never did that. I think maybe I thought it would make me "cool" since I only had one or two real friends on the team

How do i stop my compulsive tendencies & come to terms with my actions? I just recently got diagnosed with OCD & it finally feels like I have answers to my obsessions. Context: Ive (25) been with my boyfriend (28) for 8.5 years. We were high school sweethearts & now we have 2 kids together. Recently, i confessed to my partner that before we officially dated, i slept around. In the months leading up to us dating, we were discussing us being “official”. He asked me during that time if i was sleeping with anyone else & teenager me lied & said no. He was a big flirt in high school and had lots of girl friends. I was insecure & thought he was lying to me about not sleeping around since he was always flirting, so my reasoning was, “if hes not going to be truthful, then im not.” I realize now that it was wrong of me to not be truthful during that time, but hes upset that i kept the truth for so many years. To me, we weren’t boyfriend/girlfriend yet so it didnt matter, and in the 8.5 years i have never been unfaithful so, i didnt think telling him would change anything. Whats done is done & we have to move forward. However, he cant move forward & now is talking about breaking up our family because he believes our relationship was built on unfaithfulness & mistrust. He said he views me completely different and he would have never asked me to be his girlfriend had he known. He thinks since i kept the truth & lied for years, i could easily cover something more conspicuous up. Ive apologized time and time again but it doesnt seem to matter. Ive kept replaying that time period over and over again to the point where im not sure whats real and whats something ive convinced myself must be true because i am a bad person. How do i stop obsessing over proving im not a bad person? I made a terrible judgement years ago & Im reaping the consequences now, but my thoughts are consuming me. Its getting to the point that i cannot eat/ sleep. Im 9 months postpartum with our second and my breastmilk supply is plummeting due to the stress. I had bad postpartum depression with my first due to my undiagnosed OCD & i fear now im starting to slide in my depression pit again due to this. Ive been obsessing over proving to him that im not that stupid teenager anymore & i regret my actions. How do i come to terms with the fact that i cant change the past? I wish i could go back and tell myself he wasnt lying. I know these are all compulsive thoughts to dismiss my anxious thoughts so how do i stop obsessing over it? I apologize for this being lengthy but it has consumed my life at the point. Its been a month of me obsessing over every detail during that time period. Its gotten to the point where im second guessing my morals and who i am as a person. Its effecting my every day life.

I’m having a difficult time not rerunning social interactions afterward to make sure I didn’t say something hurtful or lie. I would never intend to do either nor have I ever had that intention that I can recall. I try to reassure myself that someone would hopefully tell me if I said something hurtful. But what if I didn’t remember? I’m trying to reassure myself when I notice myself ruminating or distract myself but it’s becoming very difficult and it’s a hard balance to not make distraction or reassurance a compulsion.

this is a weird situation and i have been working on mindfulness and presence with it all. we are lesbians, my girlfriend of 2 years had finally opened up about what she is feeling following something i blurted out impulsively and hurt her, as she has changed how she views me. things havent been great for a while, i have been figuring out my mental health and ocd/anxiety/adhd and she has the same conditions too. it has strained our relationship, she has always been with women since 14 (for context now she is 21 and i am 23) and has a new male friend in her life that is very religous, respectful, trusting, kind (i have met him and very comfortable with him) and she has always said its a lesbian boy crush / innocent middle school crush. shes not looking for sexual relations but wants to know if she can be treated better and have the autonomy to take a shot in the dark with him (who has never had a gf) and is unsure if these feelings are more than platonicness. i have already gained those experiences, who am i to hold her back and prevent her from seeking the clarity and closure she needs? i know i am secure with her and am working on bettering myself for our relationship, this convo i handled kindly and well and it is slowly starting to relieve tension now that she was open and honest. its not that she wants to break up or lose me, she just needs to follow her gut intuition to see if this is something she/ he would want very innocently. i am working on remembering my feelings are valid and i did cause this circumstance although i recognize the idea of her lacking experience due to always being in relationships is the pivotal point that she needs to do this. and i am allowed to feel weird and uncertain and sad and grief while respecting that this is something she needs to do to seek that closure and clarity for our future. i definitely wish i could get that spark back between us, we have such a strong emotional connection and alignment in all other ways, but things i have said/done did in fact lead us here. i think its the fact its her friend that i also love and care about it what scares me, but we dont even know how he feels about this because were not there yet, its all just out in the open air to navigate. its definitely something i didnt expect and easily could heighten my what ifs and rocd but i am proceeding mindfully and viewing this as a test to our relationship and compatibility. i love her and feel secure and safe with her and this is what she needs to do for her own exploration and identity , allowing her that autonomy to explore is going to bring us closer together. maybe he will reciprocate, maybe not and that will be that, its just a leap of faith to see what comes of it, and then we will proceed from there. i wish there was more i could do, i mean i have been journaling / gratitude every day and we are opening up in conversations with one another because she got it off her chest. both my feelings about this can coexist with respecting and supporting her needs to follow her gut and get the answers she needs, we will proceed from there. i am allowed to feel hurt and confused in this different circumstance, and dont love / view her any less because she did open up to me instead of bottling it up inside. i am very proud of her for getting it out and she is respectful that this is hard for me to hear and figure out. i trust her and trust him and know i see a future with her, and am glad this is addressed now instead of years down the line. she never had interest in a man before - is this platonic or romantic? is this something he is even comfortable pursuing? what if what if what if i remind myself because we are not there yet. this isnt a breakup but a test to our relationship. it feels good to talk about in this space, i am proud of myself for how i am handling things mindfully and presently with no resentment or judgement because i did have those experiences before meeting her, and she deserves those answers too. its her friend and she continues to view him as a friend when they text / talk. i can only work on what is in my control and that is still putting in the self work and trying to stop ruminating by distracting my mind and addressing my immediate needs and senses. i believe she is my soulmate and this is what she needs to do - a simple shot in the dark leap of faith- to find that with me. and those truths can coexist. thank you for reading if you got this far.

OCD master post Do's and don'ts of ocd: Don't : Try to ignore (avoidance) Try to make sense of it (Ruminate) Act on it (compulsion) Argue with it (basically Ruminating) Distract yourself in spite of it (avoidance) All of the above will make ocd worse and does not work. Do: Acknowledge it Accept uncertainty Redirect your attention once acknowledged to something else Have healthy distractions available (try to use different ones every now and then to avoid creating a compulsion) Exaggerate the thought until its ridiculous, borderline unrealistic and funny. Respond with "maybe, maybe not", " sure", "cool", "thanks, you do you, I'm gonna do my thing, feel free to stay though" The above responses can train your mind to not deem them as threats and over time will trigger the fight or flight response less and less. You'll most likely make mistakes here and there but as long as you stay vigilant and don't get complacent, this should help. Ironic process theory and our internal alarm system: https://youtu.be/xoSlOnUuw-U?feature=shared Ironic process theory is to do with attachment and the idea of non-existence. The more we try to not think about something that already exists as a thought the more it'll prove it exists and demands your attention. With attachment, people tend to ignore or argue against in spite of the thought. If you do this you are doing it because of the thought, therefore giving it more life. Thirdly your brain will start to set an internal alarm via thoughts and hormones or even bodily reactions every time you are stressed, just to see if you're not stressed about that trigger even if it's not what triggered you in the moment. To combat this, you'll need to find a way to deal with the thoughts directly and let them be and get through it via Erp, or being able to accept the thought as a thought and redirecting your attention without attachment (despite or regardless of the thoughts) Erp done effectively: When you do Erp in therapy sessions, it's done in a controlled way and on your own terms. A lot of people make the mistake of only doing it in therapy with only ocd related themes. Truth is, you can do it with any level of discomfort and it's good to practice whenever you can as long as you're mindful of other people. When you're doing it out of therapy and on your own terms, you challenge a potential trigger and then welcome the feeling that follows. I find welcoming or accepting the feelings existence helps a lot. I would welcome the fear and all the horrible feelings until I'm crying and trembling and on the edge of a panic attack, the feeling always fades and trains your brain not to deem it as a threat anymore. No more ocd firedrills. Why practice is valuable. Imagine you have a boxing match with an opponent coming up, and that opponent is tough. They train every day, and you don't train at all. Who do you think will win when the day of the fight comes around? The opponent of course. So train yourself so you stand a fighting chance or risk getting your butt kicked every time OCD enters the ring. Hormones and circadian ryhtm: So the circadian rhythm is your internal body clock. Your hormones learn patterns and release at certain times of day. Usually based on the amount of sunlight exposure you get. Cortisol the stress hormone is the one to wake us up and if you do not find a way to deal with those hormones first thing, your ocd alarm will go off and bring up scenarios or thoughts to fill in the gap as to why your body is stressed. ERP, Exercise, breathing meditations, cold plunges are great for the morning to eliminate excess cortisol. Sunlight helps too, roughly 30 minute exposures is enough to help keep your circadian rhythm healthy. Melatonin kicks in when it starts to get dark or you've went through your hormone reserves for the day. The more you go through in a healthy way, the better you'll sleep. Rough neuro science explanation : https://youtu.be/BJshegpcFv8?feature=shared So your brain will use one of 2 pathways to process external stimuli. The direct pathway, being the shortest route to process in case of a threat or perceived threat. This pathway is dominant in those who have ocd. The there's the indirect pathway which takes longer but is related to rationalising thoughts. This pathway is used less by people with ocd. This pathway requires sufficient seratonin levels in order to be used and that's why SSRIs are popular medications for people with ocd. Food and drink consumption: So I tested myself based on lots of personal research around what we put in our body and how it effects ocd. Sugar, fructose and glucose levels spike quite quickly depending on your source. It can lead your body being stressed and releasing the corresponding hormones to notify you are stressed, then your brain will try fill in the gap whether you're aware of this or not. Whole fruits tend to be the best source as they contain fibre, acting as a slow release of energy rather than flooding your system. Caffeine has the same effect without question, and also screws up your circadian rhythm if not taken at sensible times. Trans fats, saturated fats and processed foods are also bad. These may not effect your brain as quickly as sugar or caffeine but stress your body over a slower and longer period. All of the above are not just inflammatories for your muscles and organs, they are neuro inflammatories, making it much harder for your brain to use the indirect pathway for rationalising your thoughts, therefore supporting the direct neuropathway and your usual OCD patterns. The foods I started to eat are heavy in anti inflammatories to help my brain function better, anti oxidants to help lower the stress in my body, and food that support seratonin production to promote the use of the indirect neural pathway. The list below is vegan friendly, but you can look into this to suit your preferred needs ●Tryptophan - leafy greens, sunflower seeds, water cress, soy beans, pumpkin seeds, mushrooms, brocoli, peas ●vit b6 - nutritional yeast, muesli, avacado, pistachio nuts, butternut squash, banana, quinoa, brown spaghetti, chestnuts, hazelnuts, oranges, tahini, potatoes, chickpeas, kidney beans, peanuts ●higher b12 complex - yeast extract, Soya milk, almond milk, tofu, tempeh, seaweed, beetroot ●Vit D - portobello mushrooms, shitake mushrooms, orange juice, soya yoghurt ●zinc - beans, cashew nuts, Lentils, chia seeds, linseed, hemp seeds, wholemeal bread, blackberries, pomegranate juice, spinach, strawberries, pecan nuts, Brazil nuts, oatmeal ●Complex carbs - quinoa, brown rice, peas, corn, sweet potatoes, barley, lentils, nuts, legumes ●Thiamine / Vit b1 - beans, peas, legumes, nuts, brown rice ●Monounsaturated fats - extra virgin olive oil, other oils, nuts and avacados ●Vit c - guava, peppers, kiwi, mango, papaya, strawberries, brocoli ●Polyphenols - berries, dark chocolate, cocoa powder, nuts, flax seeds, olives, green tea, artichoke, red grapes, spinach ●Antioxidant - Brocoli, spinach, carrots, potatoes, artichoke, cabbage, beetroot, kale, spices ●Anti inflammatories - olive oil, avacado, walnuts, tomatoes, dark chocolate, leafy greens, brocoli, ginger, turmeric, berries, grapes, chia seeds, pepper, garlic, spirulina You can eat all of this and not feel the effect of the benefits. You need to tell your body to produce seratonin through what you do. Stuff like exercise, meditations, and walking in nature will help do this. Mindfulness and being in the moment: So our brains do not know the difference between a real threat and a perceived threat and will react the same regardless of how we can rationalise it. A lot of us are stuck in the past or the future and mindfulness promotes being present. The past and future are both illusions of the mind. They are not happening now but our ocd brains react as if they are real. Anything that is not happening now isn't real. So practicing anything that will pull you closer to the present moment will help to ground you in reality. Everything that doesnt exist in the present is infinite and we cannot be certain of any of it, all we can be certain of is the here and now. Core values, self judgement and breaking the cycle : A lot of us are stuck in cycles, going around and around. These cycles are due to a lot of our core values and the thoughts/ past actions not lining up with the. These can be caused by trauma and/ or conditioning. Usually we can't let go because something clashed with the way in which we judge things, but the problem doesn't actually lie in our focus, but the values in which we judge them. The problem isn't what we weigh, but the scale itself. This is where it can get tricky, especially if what we think feels justified. It's not that your judging the scenario, actions or thoughts incorrectly, it's that your values are a bit on the extreme side. For example, I had harm ocd for 2 years and it was telling me to hurt everyone and everything in every way possible. This theme came about because I had a random intrusive thought once that clashed with my extreme values on morals having been raised by a reformed ex gangster and animal rights activist. The fault was caused by the conditioning I received. So when you go into therapy, please try to understand your conditioning and challenge them through Erp and some self compassion because it's not your fault. Where the fault lies does not matter, because that doesn't change what you need to do. You have to heal yourself regardless of it all.