How to stop ruminating after social events

I’m having a difficult time not rerunning social interactions afterward to make sure I didn’t say something hurtful or lie. I would never intend to do either nor have I ever had that intention that I can recall. I try to reassure myself that someone would hopefully tell me if I said something hurtful. But what if I didn’t remember? I’m trying to reassure myself when I notice myself ruminating or distract myself but it’s becoming very difficult and it’s a hard balance to not make distraction or reassurance a compulsion.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18d

I think that reassuring yourself and distracting yourself might be feeding the compulsion. A better exposure would be to accept that maybe you hurt someone's feelings, or maybe you said something untrue. You could hurt someone's feelings even if you didn't say anything bad. Maybe someone was having a bad day or is being oversensitive, and interpreted something innocuous as you being cruel and hurtful. You can't ever completely prevent yourself from putting your foot in your mouth sometimes. You can't control how others interpret what you say. Face that fear that you socialized "wrong," remember that awkward moments will sometimes happen no matter what you say, and make sure you appreciate that you put in effort to be social.

JustAJesusLover

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18d

I used to struggle with that OCD theme a lot — I was terrible with social interactions for years (even though I’m one of the most outgoing, bubbly people on the planet, not to brag 😉). I couldn’t even get a good sentence through because of me worrying I was lying unintentionally. For example, someone would ask me what my favorite color was: “I think my favorite color is maybe probably pastels?” And I’m not joking. That was one of my more normal sentences. I had so much worse. I ruminated on those events for so so long, constantly wondering if, for example, my favorite color(s) didn’t even consist of pastels. Then I would think of it for days on end until I sought reassurance. I hope this helps show you that others go through similar experiences. I can’t tell you how to stop ruminating. I was in such a bad place and it was years ago that I don’t remember most of what exposures/strategies I used to train my mind. But everything I had and now have are in my mind. (Besides seeking reassurance, which I don’t do nearly as often.) I can tell you it gets better. Everyone’s situation is different, but so many people have a strong testimony on how they got to where they are at today. I believe you will have one as well soon. I now have nearly no OCD symptoms, but I do have anxiety. It just doesn’t control my life anymore. I call my OCD a useful curse; it has made me into a better person, but I don’t like the strategies it used. I now try my best to not lie, not because I am afraid of the anxiety, but because I now know even without the anxiety there I don’t want to. I’m definitely an over thinker still, which I can definitely work on. Talking to a therapist can be very beneficial with their (OCD specific) professional advice. Stay strong! ♥️♥️♥️

kell7777

Date posted: 17d

This is an aspect of social anxiety. Fear of being rejected or criticized. Wanting to be liked and afraid someone will not like you. At the core it's worrying about what others think of you and having that be your basis for how you think of yourself. It's about your self-esteem. You have to learn to separate your sense of self from others approval. Counteract the fear with reframing.

RavenRose77

Date posted: 25w

Ruminating Help

I ruminated too much this morning and got distressing mental images (and confirmation) which sent me spiraling again. How do I stop thinking about this and how do I get back to myself? I feel destroyed.

fl5

Date posted: 21w

Tips for rumination with real event?

I've been doing well the past month in cutting down on compulsions and have been feeling better however, last night I had a set back that carried on into today. I had gotten very poor sleep (4ish hours) and then something triggered my memory. I think with the sudden anxiety spike and lack of sleep I didn't have the strength to ignore my compulsions. Last night and today I've realised I've gone back into rumination and mentally reviewing the event excessively again and comparing my situation to other people's, but most of the times that I start going down these rabbit holes I don't even realise I'm doing it? Also been fixating a bit on the fear that I've ruined my progress and that I will fall back into the deep end of it all again, that I have done so much work getting myself out of, although trying my best to not be too discouraged. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with rumination more specifically?

LukiePook

Date posted: 15w

Reassurance Seeking

I’ve had physical compulsions on and off throughout my life. And rumination while not physical comes right along with it. Recently my brain has latched on to reassurance seeking. And it makes work horrible. I constantly feel the need to seek reassurance or validation from my boss or my coworkers or friends. I feel constantly judged and hyper analyze everything someone says to me or every interaction I have. I go home after work and run over all the times I spoke to or interacted with someone that day and I’m critical of how I presented myself, how I was perceived, what I said or didn’t say. I then go back the next day not only wanting to seek reassurance but also thinking I need to over explain myself to prevent any kind of damaging misunderstanding or miscommunication that would make them think poorly of me. Is this a common thing? It’s been the worst thing to go through as of late, my checking and things has gone down but this mental stuff is a whole new beast. How do you guys handle this kind of thing at work or at school?

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How to stop ruminating after social events

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