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Any advice for flying longer flights after actively coming out of a ocd episode and now is scared of being anxious on the plane and anxious being somewhere new and how I’ll feel when I’m there and just scared of freaking out and being anxious the whole time and not enjoying myself etc.

Why does my pocd always try to tell my I agree with bad stuff or tell me bad stuff is normal etc… I don’t agree with it but it feels like my body and brain does but I always am like wtf after I get the thought but sometimes if I try to let it pass that feels like I’m agreeing with it. Like omg bro I hate this

I don't have an official OCD diagnosis, although I am near enough certain I have it after a long year of distressing intrusive thoughts and compulsions that have strongly affected my life. Unfortunately though, I do not have the opportunity or the finances to get checked or go to therapy for a good few months at least. Due to this, I have taken it upon myself to teach myself techniques to tackle it and to reduce and not engage in compulsions, as I did not want to take the risk of getting even worse before being able to get help (and desperation lol). For the first time in the past year I feel like I'm finally making some progress in getting better since incorporating these techniques into my life as my symptoms have become more manageable (minus the obvious bad days) at the time being. Is self-recovery actually possible? Has anyone managed to recover without a therapist's help?

I'm new to NOCD and have been dealing with harm/suicidal, and Pure OCD for some time now. It started off being healthy related anxiety that led to compulsion where I would research information on an uncommon illness or something I thought I had. Now it has snowballed into intrusive thoughts and images of me killing myself in various ways or my wife. The former is what has been the most debilitating and hardest to shake. Recently I seem to find triggers almost every where I look. "What if I killed myself this way" if I see a kitchen knife or a bottle of pills. A friend talked about going to a gun range a while back and an image popped up of me being there and turning a gun to myself which is something I dont want to do. I love life and its so painful to go through thoughts that try to tell me otherwise. That particular image/thought has really stuck with me. I know about ERP and my therapist said I could rip the bandaid off and go to a gun range but it terrifies me. I don't own any weapons but I often think, "what if I buy one and im actually suicidal?" Just typing it makes me anxious. I'm wanting to start a low dose of Prozac which opens up another can of worms about worried my "overdose thought" will come true, on top of potential side effects. This is long winded but im looking for any advice to get through this. I know others are worse off than me but considering I've never been like this and it only started 6 months ago, I'm really struggling. Thanks everyone.

When you become a “conqueror” does it mean you’ve completed ERP or you’ve just gotten to a good place with it? If so, how long did it take to finish therapy and how did you finally make progress? I’m having a hard time sticking with it right now as it feels unproductive. I’ve been in ERP for about 2 months and I can’t wait to be done.

I love my boyfriend I find him attractive, and I know it’s a choice to see that and appreciate it, but why do I get struck by some men I see who are cute but I’m used to Josh? It’s like he doesn’t strike me as much anymore. He’s cute, but like I want him to strike me and maybe it takes me recognizing what I love. But I’m used to him lol, like I can notice other men’s attraction and obviously not wanna be with them. I’m just tryna figure out healthy ways of thinking. Like I see Josh I notice him but I’m not struck by his handsomeness I’m kind of used to t I guess? Is this infatuation

So... I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to do any of the things I loved; OCD took the joy out of it. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again." Love you!!!

Hello amazing people. Does anyone else struggle with knowing what your ‘gut’ feeling/instinct is? For example, if I choose to ignore the thoughts I start doubting that I’m ignoring my intuition and I’m going to end up unhappy. I don’t know if this makes sense, but if anyone has any tips that would be amazing!

I have a dear friend of mine who happens to be fat, and no shame in that, I just like to tease him because he's a bit shy, but it's playful not disrespectful. Like I used to tap his belly as a joke, i stopped that though. One day I was messing around with him and I thought it would be funny, because he was fat, to act like a creep and reach out with my hands with the grabbing motion as a joke, and I think I playfully pinched his man boobs (I don't really remember but I suppose and it's very probable that I did that). I wasn't really thinking much abt it, for me his man boobs were the same as touching his belly: funny, neutral and harmless. But I tried to pinch myself and I didn't like it, i think it feels violating and I'm afraid that's how he really felt. It was a joke and I didnt really put much thought to it when I did that as I didn't have ill intent, but I still made him uncomfortable, I'm afraid he actually felt molested and that I did SA. well he did say he felt molested but not in a very serious tone, but more like a midly uncomfortable awkward tone, like "pause, don't do that", and i was ok, but it didnt cross my mind until much later. i didnt mean it to make him feel that way, it was something fun like a tease, so for that I apologised much later when i realised it and the guilt was eating me, and then he said not to worry abt it. but it doesnt that change that i made him feel molested, i think it's because he's too nice. even though it was a joke. i take it as a lesson not to cross boundaries that have not been set yet, to be careful in the future to do physical touches as a joke, even though it might be normalized in the friend group. I hope it's just that and not something more serious like SA because I really didnt mean it that way, like im not even gay, but still. there wasnt much intention, but more like an impulsive joke that resulted inappropriate without me realising. Even though man boobs are not a se&ual body part I still should have not done that. One day I put an arm around him nothing weird and he told me he was uncomfortable with physical touch, so from then I understood where he was coming from. So I respected his wish and I stopped having physical contact with him entirely. Now lately I've been overwhelmed with a big guilt and a lot of anxiety over what I did that day. I stopped with the fat jokes and just started being more thoughtful with my approach as a friend, just giving him advices, but without trying to make him change anything or making him feel bad abt himself or give unwarranted critics as I did before. We kept being good friends despite that awkward event, and he probably forgot it and it doesn't weigh to him as much as it does for me for what I did. After some time when I was overwhelmed with guilt after realising what I did despite not having bad or se&ual intention, I apologised profusely for what I did that day and he was very chill and told me "relax, don't worry abt it, really". We went to the movies together and I bought him a nice present for his birthday that he appreciated a lot. He regularly talks with me without any problems, he supports me etc... I still feel guilt. I can't let this one go and I'm sure that you guys agree what I did was very wrong and I agree. Nothing changed, we're good friends. But I feel like I commited SA. It's a guilt that I can't let go and probably shouldnt. I feel ashamed. Even though I try to reassure myself because we have the same circle of friends and they touch me inappropriately all the time as a gay joke and they do that between themselves and do not think much abt it, and one time my same friend did laugh in the car when my other friend kept touching me inappropriately as a joke. I don't know. I don't ask for reassurance and forgiveness. I'm not the type of person to self-absolve his own sins. Recently I asked him abt it again and he didn't remember and preferred not to talk abt it. He mentioned to me that another friend, which I dislike because he's a creep, saw him and squeezed his chest and you could he didn't like that at all; i don't think he did it lightly, knowing that guy i think he did it hardly. Now I'm obsessing that if I actually did it, if I did it hard, which i didnt think so.

I’m ruining my relationship, and idk if it’s OCD or if I’m just an awful person. I’m tired of constantly fighting with my boyfriend. but I have no one to blame but myself. I can’t stop picking apart everything they say, I can’t stop being so negative, I can’t stop overthinking and obsessing, I can’t stop feeling like they’re lying or being inconsistent. I constantly ask too many questions to the point where I feel he thinks I’m stupid. I’m starting to feel stupid myself. It seems like I can’t understand basic conversations with my boyfriend anymore unless they’re super black and white. He deserves better. I don’t deserve love. I feel like I’m destroying the one thing that makes me happy. I don’t feel happy with him anymore because we’re constantly fighting. And it’s all my fault. I think I’m just an awful, crazy person

i feel so confused my boyfriend and i have dated for 4 years off and on and now we finally have been together for six months again but its been so confusing im battling relationship ocd and i dont know if it just means im not supposed to be with him. we keep running into problems and he just thinks im bot happy with him, qhen he says that i cant discern, i just get confused. i pray to god but i just dont know

I see people post about how they feel like their thoughts are real. For me personally I deal with sexual intrusive thoughts and they feel real to me because it feels like I enjoy them. And when I say “it feels like I like them” that’s the same for me as saying “I like them” but some people say that’s different. Idk just curious as to what you guys feel!

I’ve avoided driving majority of my teen years because I got into a head on collision when I was 17. Even before then, I was absolutely terrified of driving. Saying I was terrified is an understatement. I’d literally shake at the thought of anything to do with cars and imagine my body scrunching up with the car metal after getting into an accident. OCD would convince me that I simply cannot trust myself behind the wheel, and that something bad will happen - like I’ll kill my self, someone else, or an animal and I hated it. Needless to say, I genuinley could not bring myself to get started with driving until I was 19, which was a few months ago lol. I got my permit at 17, practiced driving a tiny bit then stopped after the accident I got into. I eventually got the permit renewed a few months ago at 19, then I finally got my license a month after. Now I’m 20, and today I drove myself 45 mins to and from work! I still need to practice more, but holy lord I never thought this day would come. All the years I’d feel embarassed/judge myself have come to an end. Just because I was delayed at doing something doesn’t mean I’m not capable. For anyone who has goals they want to reach and they feel like they’re impossible - they’re not. Fight OCD as best as you can. I hope I can be a symbol of hope for anyone whose struggling

Last week I fell into a bit of an existential spiral, which hasn't happened for a long while. Now that I'm mostly on the other side, I think it's important to reflect on the lessons I learned from it. I hope this is helpful for others who find themselves in their own spiral, existential or not. 1. The thought, "I'm never getting out of this one," will always be there, and it will always be a lie. Whenever I fall into a deep existential spiral (which is pretty rare these days), it *always* feels as though I've uncovered some horrible thought that I'm never going to be able to get past. As if I've finally found that one existential thought this is going to ruin me for the rest of my life. When that happens, allow the thought to come and go just like the rest of the thoughts, and take some time to reflect on how you've been there before. For me, it helps to sarcastically agree with it: "Yep you're right! THIS is the one that'll do me in." 2. Keep doing what you do A major difference between this spiral and past ones is that I forced myself to not cancel any plans because of it. I played at an open mic, accompanied my friend on mandolin for his performance, and I attended a run group, all while experiencing an existential crisis. I definitely think this shortened the length of the episode. I proved to myself that I could do some pretty demanding things despite the thoughts. I was also able to reflect on how when I was forced to be present (such as while performing), the existential crisis totally subsided. Which brings me to... 3. Trust in mindfulness I absolutely get it; when you're in the middle of a spiral, the idea of just "bringing yourself into the present moment" seems laughably unhelpful. This time in particular, it really felt irresponsible to *not* attend to the thoughts. It genuinely felt like I had to *solve* these existential questions before I could move on to anything else, including the present moment. But when I reflect on the times that I felt the most at-ease, it was always when I was present. It was during the 10 seconds I took to breath and notice my surroundings. It was when I disengaged from the thoughts and allowed them to come and go. It was when I smelled the fresh air after a thunderstorm, or during a conversation with a friend about her breakup. It was when I named the feelings and emotions I was experiencing, and welcomed it all. Existential thoughts are supposed to be about reality, but when you're lost in them, you aren't actually *in* reality. They're only scary in the virtual reality of the mind. And finally... 4. Yes, the compulsions are the problem I did a LOT of research last week. I watched videos, Googled, and even dove into ChatGPT. The compulsions were obvious, and they were never enough. Every answer that made me feel a little better was followed by doubt less than 15 minutes later. In the moment it genuinely feels like you HAVE to keep doing the compulsions, but you need to trust that that's exactly what is making you feel worse. In order to stop researching, I just had to...stop researching. It was hard at first, but eventually the spiral stopped spinning, and the longer I waited between compulsions, the easier it was to move on.

I’m 19 my brother who is 16 showed me a video of one of his friends girlfriend and told me “isn’t she hot?” I feel like I did find her attractive and then I asked what her age was and he said 14. Why did I find her attractive if she’s that much younger than me? I’m also having trouble seeing girls in public I think are attractive but don’t know their age. They could be young and I still might find them attractive. Sometimes I force myself to look at these girls more than usual to really determine what their age is and if I find them attractive. I don’t stare intensely but it definitely feels strange doing it. Is this a problem that I can’t figure out if girls I find attractive are around my age? Or even if I know they are younger than me sometimes I might find them attractive? Why would I find them attractive if they’re too young for me?

Hello everyone! Just wanted to see if I can get some encouragement, hope, and love from the community tonight. I have been having racing thoughts and for years I thought the loudest most repetitive one's were just GAD or denial. OCD is scary and I am trying to get back into my hobbies. I am just exhausted and sad.

Hi all, I would really appreciate some advice on how you told a loved one about having ocd, specifically a significant other. I’ve been with mine for over 5 years, and I just had a recent diagnosis of OCD. To be honest, with the subtype I have, it’s really crippling to deal with, and I have a major worry of my partner not understanding the subtype. I would love to get some advice on how to best approach it and how to provide understanding that I’m still the same person. Thanks!

So like if I find evidence for a thought does that mean it’s true then?

so about a week ago around june 12 or 13 coming back from the beach i was having vulva pain on one of the lips then eventually i went to grandmas house and everytime i bent down or moved around i was having some sharp pain “down there” eventually i was scared and then it started to kinda hurt to pee… and i was like ok this is kinda worrying me eventually i forgot about it for two days it didn’t hurt but then i come back and start to have it again. so then i was like okay i’m just gonna schedule a doctors appointment. i schedule my doctors appointment got tested and i was negative for UTI but i was having bad lower back psi so they sent off a cultural test and told me a few days after that i have bacterial vaginosis so i was like ok i’m guessing to get antibiotics for it… i get the antibiotics yesterday theyre capsules i can’t swallow them but i cut them and put it in apple sauce where it was so gross the smell was awful and the taste was awful… atp i got a liquid i haven’t took it yet.. but my stomach has been hurting and had numbness and weird tingling feeling down there… where it’s scaring me and now my stomach hurts almost like cramps but it makes me so nervous… i keep thinking i have ovarian cancer or some type of cancer or a cyst or kidney stones… even tho they told me i have bacterial vaginosis somehow i can’t believe them… but i soon start my period on the 30th and my OCD gets so bad 2 weeks before my period and symptoms start a week before my period… idk i’ve never had this OCD go out for so long but like my urine looks fine it’s just when i pee now it’s almost feels weird idk my stomach is hurting rn when i lay down and i’ve been freaking out ugh. and this morning i had sorenness down there… i also had some inner thigh pain… i can’t stop googling i keep thinking it’s something worse than i have from what the doctor told me

I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again" Love you!!!