Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Suicid-l thoughts because of this. Chat gpt told me I morally failed me and my cat and this is extreme and i need help now before i cause harm. And that I violated my cat. I don’t deserve to live

Has anyone checked out Nathan Peterson on YouTube ?? I been watching him and he really helps a lot!!

What’s the difference between soocd and internalized homophobia I am having a hard time finding out which one I am I was diagnosed with ocd only liked girls but I have lost attraction and have constant doubt shame guilt I’m 16 and this started when I was 15 I’m very hyper aware if I put my hands in a certain way it feels gay and I have these thoughts telling me when I see guys oh he’s hot or cute someone have anything they can tell me so I can tell which one is which please

Hi there - first time poster. I am still in the process of getting diagnosed with OCD but feel I have it or am at least experiencing symptoms. I also have generalized anxiety disorder, and worry a lot about finances, change, the world, if I’m doing ‘enough’. I try to manage this with radical acceptance, mindfulness, coping skills, but I’m realizing some things I thought were healthy and normal are not as healthy or normal as I thought. Like having a bunch of spreadsheets to keep track of things and checking them multiple times a day. I get praised for being super organized but I feel it is a symptom of OCD and/or anxiety, and I’m struggling with coming to terms with things I used to be very proud of actually being potentially harmful. For example, being proud of discipline, motivation to be ‘my best self’ and staying organized, when in reality all of these habits seem based on feeling ashamed of who I am, scared I’ll ‘miss’ something without organization, and feeling I need to be productive and perfect at all times. Anyways, my question is - do others relate in certain ways? What has helped you if you can related?

**TW** I think my OCD is latching onto this. It feels extremely real and scary. I basically learned about the dark web and a browser name. And now I’m petrified I’m going to get on it and find terrible things. I can’t stop imagining myself do it and I’m scared. I feel like I had already heard and known about it but learning about it this time feels different. Maybe it’s just the OCD. I feel like I’m going to lose control. I wish I would stop learning about these things. I’m so tired :(

referring back to an old post, where i allowed my cat to lick my hand/arm while engaging in compulsion (msturbation) due to a groinal response being caused by the cat licking my hand. i intended to have the cat keep licking my hand and or arm so that i could just finish the compulsion and get it over with. according to CHATGPT i morally and ethically failed me and my cat and i need serious help. also said that this is rare and not seen in ocd. i am so sad. if i do need serious help and seem like a creep, i would want brutal honesty. i feel like i need to be taken away.

I don't know. I just fucking went down a huge rabbit hole of this lady on ROCD Reddit who described something very similar to how I feel about my boyfriend. She was so scared to break up but wanted to anyway bc she wanted to explore and stuff. A lot of the stuff she wrote was things I swear I could have written myself. And I feel so anxious and sick bc she ended up leaving her boyfriend. She's not happy now but feels it's the right choice. I'm so fucking scared - bc I feel like I need to do it now. I feel in ways no ROCD sufferer has felt and I swear this is true. What the fuck??

just don’t read if not familiar with POCD anyway so like a few months ago when I was yk doing the do with myself I was thinking abt my then bf and then suddenly I pictured my nephew and I was so disgusted by the thought that I stopped but I hated that I thought about it. Now i brushed it off after that because I realized that it was so immoral and disgusting but I feel immense guilt when I look at him or my sister. I avoid holding him now because I feel so ashamed of thinking of him . Once I think I did think abt him as well but then shifted to like ew no that’s gross and then stopped and continued as I thought about my then bf. But still why do these thoughts come up? Should I confess to my sister or forgive myself privately? I feel so compelled to say I’m sorry to her even when I have never done anything to my nephew. I’m just scared what if I’m a monster and am never able to have a normal relationship because my Pocd attaches itself to the kids in my life or even the people in my life such as loved ones. I’m terrified of myself and my body shivers at the thought of being a pedo or part taking in any incest acts.

Lately ive been questioning my sexuality due to a thought that ive had for a long time but never dwelled on the thought was about me liking my girlfriend more when she identified as a male and does that make me straight.. I still love my girlfriend and love hanging out with her but before she detransitioned i felt like our relationship wasn’t as bad and healthier and my anxiety has made me feel as if it was healthier because im only into men and that I have no interest in being with women despite me being deeply attracted to them.. I also feel like im putting on a persona or faking it just for the “trend” I used to be so certain on my sexuality but now im just stressed thinking about the possibility of being straight and I feel guilty about possibly lying to my girlfriend im constantly needing reassurance and asking people if im straight and looking back at past experiences to see if I am or not and I think the worst part is that I havent been diagnosed with OCD but ive had plenty of thoughts like this before that i’ve stressed over.

in actually scared i dont care about my partner as im supposed to and that i dont like him, i have dificulties with sexual stuff, and im scared i dont like him and that i am lying to myself, im scared. He is a very nice and caring and beautiful man, i love him (or i think i dont lnow) he dosent deserve this , i talked to him about this he knows about my thoughts, some days ago he calmed me down and used some logoc on me and i was good and now im questioning everything i feel bad for posting here i feel like im lying to him and im scared my thoughts are real

there was a post on here and they were talking abt that they’ve done creepy things and it’s really worried me. i’m scared that i could’ve done something similar and completely forgotten about it. i don’t think i have though because i know me and i know i would never ever in a million years expose children to such stuff or even pose a risk of danger to them but it’s really worried me now. i’m worried that im one of those people who doesn’t want to be labelled as one of those people. im so worried please reply. i blocked them now but its still scared me because now i dont know anymore

So, I'm currently in panic mode. I commented underneath a post on here, just trying to be helpful if I could, but I ended up getting triggered by the messages exchanged with the person? I've blocked them now. I just got scared, and I feel really, really bad about it, but they said they'd interacted with a real offender and said they had behaved inappropriately in front of minors. I still don't really understand what they did, but I felt like since I'd started the conversation, I couldn't just leave them hanging... Ugh. I told them to seek professional help because I didn't feel comfortable trying to give advice if they really did do something horrible, and they said they felt like the only reason they felt guilt is because they didn't want people to label them as... one of those people. I can't even get myself to type the word. I don't want to offer advice to someone who... you know. But, I also wouldn't want to isolate someone who might really be struggling with OCD. I'm just at a loss right now. I feel really scared.

ANY AND ALL RESPONSES ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED I’ve enjoyed a relatively peaceful time without the interruption of intrusive thoughts. But a few days ago some old doubts reserved though with a different twist than before. In older posts, I talked about my sort of religious conspiratotial intrusive thoughts. They’re usually really specific and crazy questions. And then with these questions I’ll try to rule it out with biblical truths truths- which is know is a compulsion on my part but it’s hard to resist doing sometimes. I say try to rule the questions out because this method (like all compulsions) doesn’t really help at all- it just creates more questions. For instance, the ones I’ve been having lately that are all connected are like this: what if god wasn’t working alone when he made the world? What if the devil helped and he hadn’t actually been bad- what if god turned him bad? What if god has lied about everything? What if the only way to know would be to actually get in contact with the devil like with a ouiji board? And this particularly scares me because I then have thoughts such as what if I do? Which then I tell myself I know is bad since god tells us not mess with the occult. But then my conspiratorial thoughts make me question if it’s really actually bad to do, or if it’s just god trying to hide the “truth”? Basically it makes me wonder if doing that which has been said to be bad, is actually bad if it’s to find out the truth. And with this specifically, it’s not like it’s something that physically harms others- it’s only bad in a religious sense. I haven’t actually acted on the thought but I get scared of doing so. I just want to be 100% certain of my faith which I know is technically impossible. Even being an atheist is a faith of its own. But even regarding the future with what my religion basically believes to be perfection for humanity, the thoughts still come into play. To try and shut up the thoughts I’ll say to myself “I guess I’ll just know in the future” which ocd then responds to with “unless god just continues lying and you’ll never actually know the truth and you’ll basically be living in a matrix.” I just don’t really know what to do because sitting with the doubt is so uncomfortable. I want to be able to know the answers to my questions, but I know I can’t. I don’t believe in god providing direct answers now, but I feel like even if I were to receive those from him, I’d still just end up doubting that. It makes me scared too because then I don’t even know if it’s really OCD or just a problem with me at this point. I hate these thoughts because it really just makes me question so much and it really causes me anxiety. And I know it sounds really stupid and crazy - looking at it from an outside perspective- and that my whole issue is just in my head, but still it doesn’t stop the doubts from causing my distress.

I’m not sure if anyone has felt this before. I was on a spree of confessing, to my partner of things that are irrelevant. I told him how I was walking in our apartment and I thought his brother was him and grazed his behind. I mentioned how 3 weeks into knowing him I wasn’t sure how I felt and I downloaded tinder for an hour or 2 and deleted it. I remembered something my partners friend said “hi sexy “a year ago to me at a gig but I wasn’t a 100% sure he said that and I wanted to confirm with my friend who was with me that, that was said and then so much happened after that I forgot to mention it. My partner then in turn said is there anything else you forgot to mention? It then sent me on a spiral of deep thinking. I then moved on. I dropped my partner off at his friends for drinks and then I was thinking of the last time I went out for drinks was at a work Christmas party last Christmas 12 months ago. My partner picked me up and I got so sick on the way home in the car and at home. I then manipulated myself into thinking because I was so drunk I must have done something bad and if I did I don’t remember because I was drunk. Here’s the thing. I recall the whole night. But then I was thinking hmm you don’t remember every time you went to the bathroom do you?? And then my head was like what if you hooked up with someone in the bathroom and you don’t know. And then I’m like with who? I wasn’t flirting with anyone or talking to any guys. And then my mind just imagined me doing an act with some random in the bathroom stall who I have no idea who?? It’s so ridiculous but now I feel immense guilt all the time and made myself feel like I’ve cheated on my partner. Which is so insane. And I feel horrible. And I love my partner so much and my mind keeps playing tricks on me. I don’t know what to do. I just miss how I felt before I thought this thought and now this is taking over my life.

I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh

Whenever I am near attractive women, I’m afraid I’m going to snap and do something evil ! Sometimes I’ve felt my hips move when they’re near me and I start to freak out worried I was trying to do a hump (lol I sound nuts). My hips have literally moved and it scares me now anytime. Also sometimes when a thought of them pops up my finger randomly moves or sometimes if I’m touching my lips and they pop up in my head I start to worry that I was trying to touch my lips sexually when I thought of them. This has ruined my life I’m scared of myself it feels like I’m not in control of my body I do not wanna be alive anymore I wanna protect the world from me

I’m going to sum this up so it isn’t a long read, basically when I was in middle school I had a friend who was two years younger than me, I was an eighth and she was in sixth grade. We ended up getting closer but at a certain point Around a year ago, I went through our old messages from when I was around 14, and just turned 15, where I had made sexual comments to her, and we are two years apart, to be more specific two and a half years. I am way older now, I am almost 21 soon, but I cannot stop thinking about this and feeling like a p3do. I don’t know what to do, I feel like a bad person, I also live a spiritual way of life, or I am trying, and it feels like I’m undeserving because I did this.

Has anyone ever created a mental algorithm in order to do things even when your intrusive thoughts try to tell you you can’t? Let me explain. I have accumulated over a dozen obsessions over the years that have never faded away. Some do, these haven’t. In order to wear, do, eat, or say something, the actions must be free from causing these bad things from happening, in other words, it must be a “good luck” action. So, for example, when I go to eat something I need to mentally run tests on the action such as “okay if I eat this bread it won’t cause this, this, this, this, this… from happening.” If it fails one of those obsessions, even just one out of the many, I can’t eat the bread. So over the years, I have found that if I replace all of those tests by a simple phrase that can make it pass all of the tests, I can do said thing. The number 22 is this phrase for me, long story short. So for example, if I say the number 22 in my head, I can do anything (as long as I can blurt out 22 before an intrusive thoughts pops in). Instead of running these tests in order to eat the bread, if I can say 22 mentally before an intrusive thoughts screams at me, I can do anything. An algorithm like this has truly saved my life, enough to get the number 22 tattooed on my rib cage yesterday! This number has allowed me to find success in my life, as running actions through said “tests” makes it extremely rare to really do anything, as at least one test is bound to fail due to intrusive thoughts rushing in.

I’m having the need to confess that I was unfaithful to my girlfriend (even though I was not) because I drank too much Saturday night and don’t remember every single second from my evening. My OCD immediately goes to that I cheated on my girlfriend and I need to confess my sins. I know it’s only OCD, but the thoughts are extremely strong. Any suggestions? Thank you, community.

my real ocd will not leave me alone at the lowest point ever in my life. its making everything so much worse and I can't even confess or talk to anyone about it because it's so awful and disgusting. my fear is that I don't deserve to have the people who love me in my life, or if they knew what I did when I was younger (kid/early teen) they would see me differently and be disgusted. Its terrifying. Even if i was just "curious", didn't know hiw bad it actually was just that you dont do that type of thing, or was just hyper sexual, I don't know. I keep doing a compulsion thinking "if my partner or someone I know tells me they did this at that age, would I be abke to be okay with it or not judge them?" and it's can't give myself a clear answer??? which is terrifying because then obviously i don't deserve to be happy or have these people in my life. im disgusted, im dealing with so much other stuff right now that is more urgent, but this decided to sneak up again. I can't take it.