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Any recommendations for books to read regarding OCD?

And now someone has triggered me and said that my intrusive fears 100% did happen... im so triggered... I want to honestly cease to exist... I want everything to end... Im so triggered...

My boyfriend kust told me that I’m putting us througj hell. My rocd is finally kust ruining everythimg I fucking hate mydelf I cant fo tjis anymroe Who do I go to? All my relationships are gone now

I try and read/post on this message board at least every now and then as a way to feel connected to people in the OCD community, and to offer whatever kind of advice my experience has taught me, because I don’t think any human should have to struggle with OCD. I wanted to share that since starting clomipramine, my symptoms have become a lot less severe. I was hesitant to try this medication even though my dr has suggested it because it’s an older antidepressant, so it comes with more side effects. For me, that’s been issues urinating and when I first started a really odd feeling when I yawned (like, the heck?). And then a specific spinal reflex that is not appropriate to mention was physically impossible for about a month, but I’ve regained some ability there…. But the side effects for me are 100% worth it given how much it’s helped me. I can walk away from obsessive thoughts / behaviors without going nuts or having to perform some other ritual just to walk away lol. I can put thoughts out of my mind more easily, let them go, and move on. It’s like a switch. I still struggle, but I still don’t think the medicine is fully effective just yet, and I just have a lot more hope for the potential of a normal life now. Or like, a functional one at the least. So if you’re currently out of luck and haven’t tried this medicine yet, I recommend giving it a shot. I take 75mg right now and think I may need to increase some, but even now it’s helping so much. Don’t let dosage increases scare you, the side effects will taper back down… I hope this helps someone.

Since two days ago, I’ve had this new theme spiraling in my head. I have two cats and I recently just had a fear of getting r*bies (I’m scared to type it). It’s stupid, I know. I haven’t been scratched, bitten or anything of that sort, but I’m terrified that I could get it or that I have it, even though nothing happened. My cats are indoor, and we they are two years old, we are going to get them their shots soon (they had been up to date when we got them, but it’s been about a year). There’s no animals or anything and we don’t let them outside but there’s still that ‘what if.’ I don’t want to touch my cats and I’ve been monitoring myself every second I can. I wash my hands a lot more and I have such extreme anxiety and sensations that I can’t sleep at night (which worsens my anxiety because that’s a symptom of it.) please if anyone can help me or has gone through this, how can I calm down from this?😖😖

I have been having horrible anxiety and can’t sleep or rest. Do any have suggestions for getting rest while dealing with this.

I feel so bad right now, I feel like I’m back being in a dark place, I feel so convinced that I am attracted to these things like I genuinely feel like I am, and that it makes me agree with it, because it feels so strong… I don’t want to do this anymore, I can’t deal with this anymore, I’m getting in a dark place, I tried to see if my therapist was available and she hasn’t been available since September 17th, before my breakup, before my OCD got even worse. I feel like shit right now and I don’t know why to do anymore, I just want the pain to end so bad… I just don’t wanna fight anymore, I’m not trying to imply anything bad, but like genuinely give up. I just can’t handle any sort of photo of a kid anymore.

I didnt wanted to post about this but it makes me really sad right now. This post will be about Christianity so if you believe in something else dont read it cause i will mention things that might trigger you. Im struggling with my faith right now and i feel like christianity might be the same like other religions and beliefs. I wont come with the "if theres a God prove it, i want Him to show up" thats ignorant, but i think about some things that keeps me stuck. Before christianity i was really desperate to find the meaning of life so i read about spirituality. Alot of people believe in that and live a peaceful life, cause that thinking makes you have positive behaviours cause they found a meaning. We say other religions are false things but then we say ours is true cause "we feel like its true". So its all about how you feel. Back then i just couldnt relate to spirituality and i found people who were liars and strange people, but we know christians can be that too, so i left spirituality cause it didnt made me feel good. But maybe if i wouldve stayed there and learn more, it generates the same feeling as i have now towards God and now i would say thats the truth cause i feel at peace and that im loved. Many spiritual people feel that, without christian beliefs. Non believers too realized a long time ago that self love is so important. So the problem is that i can never explain why do i believe, i always say "cause i feel that its real" well, if i would be so desperate to pray to a cat God and make myself believe everything I have is from that cat i would feel like its true. So my faith is about how i feel... which can be easily manipulated. And many times people said to me "its just a view, it makes you happy cause youre afraid that life doesnt bavw a meaning" and now i kinda feel like it can be true. Many will say faith is relational, but i can make that relation to anything, as is said if i think theres a big cat somewhere who loves me it can become relational... and then where all this ends it sounds like well God is with us but he doesnt do anything to intervene, you might now feel Him, we dont have any evidence, in the end of the day you just have to trust theres someone who will give you something after this horrible life. And that sounds like you want to give meaning to life. Maybe i didnt got the answers from the best christians, but it sounds to me like you jjst have to trust theres someone out there, and that belief will make you happier... But its the same with every other religion tho... Native americans believed in many Gods and it gave them meaning and a happy peacefull life. But we say thats false... why? Isnt our belief the same? I hope i get some loving anwers, cause im not trying to ruin anyones belief, im just struggling with my faith.

I really just need to vent. I recently had a relapse and while some days it seems like I’m feeling better, others are so difficult. Today, I’m breaking down at work in the bathroom and I feel so awful about that. Aside from the really scary thoughts I’m having about my health and my family members, I’m starting to feel really hopeless about the future. Like I’m never going to get better and that I’m going to get stuck in this ocd cycle forever. I know that’s not true because I’ve been able to make progress before, but the desperation and frustration that comes with a relapse make it so hard to remember that. I started medication and it’s only been about 3 days but I’m really scared that it’s not going to work or that I’m going to have to go through a lot of trial and error. I just really need to hear from people who have worked through their health ocd. I need hope.

Trying to ignore my thoughts but it feels like they are only coming at me more now😭 im just at a loss i dont know what to do

I’ve been diagnosed with ocd but sometimes I think I’m faking or I don’t actually, but idk if that’s the ocd tricking me or if it’s true

I’m going on vacation to Vegas in a month. But my OCD thoughts are getting worse & im freaking out that they will ruin my trip. How will i deal with this

Lately, I’ve been avoidant of prayer. A lot of fear comes with it for me lately. Fear I don’t deserve it, fear I’m doing it wrong, fear I’ll say the wrong thing or damage my salvation in some way, fear God will think I’m fake, etc. But, if I avoid praying because I’m afraid, I’m afraid then that God is mad at me for not praying, or that it means I don’t have a good enough relationship with him. If I was a better Christian, I’d pray more. It’s a vicious cycle, because then I feel even more guilt and worry about prayer. Like, I’m scared God will think I’m full of it, or I don’t love him, because I go days without praying at times.

i feel like getting on this app is a compulsion, but it brings me so much comfort knowing there’s people out there like me. and knowing i’m not alone

Does anyone notice they change clothes after they either touched something that brings anxiety or are in a situation that brought anxiety in.....even if yours clothes were not touched? This happens to mr and it gets exhausting and I change clothes more often than I need yo. I have been trying not to change clothes if they are not dirty. I am trying to sit with it for a while. How long does it take before your brain stops telling you to change clothes or do the compulsion you do?

I just feel so lonely with my thoughts. I want someone to sit next to me for hours so we talk and I cry and I open up fully. I tried therapy but it just isn’t enough. I am extremely scared that I lose my mind any second and not be able to function normally like be hospitalized for the rest of my life. I can’t anymore. It’s too hard. I cannot open up because my thoughts and concerns are all sexual like about my sexual orientation or if I want to have threesome or what happens after and should I do it or not. I have this urge to ask my 23 yo sister about it but deep down I am afraid she would not understand me and judge me. it’s so scary to live my life. I am zoned out all the time. I am tired and scared and lonely and stuck. I cannot get anything done.

I want to encourage everyone who comes across this to reach out to the people you want to reach out to. For so long, I know I felt under an obligation to be so self-sufficient in managing my life, that I didn’t need to rely on anybody. But this a sad and lonely philosophy. It denies the part of us that blossoms when we share our lives with other people. And I don’t want anyone else to have to experience that, so long as I can help it. I want people to feel free to love unconditionally and BE loved unconditionally. So show them your whole soul. Bright as the stars. I don’t think there’s a risk more worth taking.

Does anyone else wish there was a chat feature to speak with a coach or counselor on here? I guess they might worry that people will seek immediate reassurance, but sometimes being all alone is horrible. I have had non stop adrenaline since Friday and being alone like this feels 10x worse. I visited someone yesterday, and I’m trying to hold out to see my therapist tomorrow but it’s so difficult. I am so alone.

Hey guys. Just a reminder that regardless of the subtype, our need for certainty is the enemy. I hope you guys are doing okay today. Any victories or grievances that need to be shared?

Hey how are you all doing ? I’m looking for people who has struggled with existential ocd bc I feel this theme is not very common and very hard ( at least for me ) so anyway if you would like to exchange about it don’t hesitate ! I’m looking for support bc god I hate this theme