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Any tips for guilt in ocd having the need to tell your partner or parents on something you did or saw because you think they will be upset about it but it’s not that big of a deal

I had to ask God today if my whole life was just going to be struggling to right my wrongs. That is how it has seemed to be for so many years now. They are long since paid and I hope one day to be repaid but that day is hard to find. Apart from that the heroin addict keeps approaching me so I've told the police about him now. It would be so easy to be violent with him as there is nothing holding him up, he's all bones. His friend was chiming in and getting cocky too today so it is getting worse.

my mind keeps racing thinking i have suicidal ideation when i definitely don’t want to hurt myself in any way. feel my thoughts never stop. I get better and then they come back. I don’t want to kill myself and i love my life but OCD it convinces you otherwise. I just want someone to help me and give me tips for these so i can stop panicking and stressing about everyday life due to my thoughts. I also get thoughts like “what if you cut yourself” or “what if you want to feel pain” like NO i don’t!! i hate this never ending cycle. i’m in mode of panic

I cant stop thinking about past mistakes.I remember constantly about horrible things . I also cant stop thinking about something I did as a kid. I so scared. Also at the same time I think that I was a kid and I need to forgive myself.But then I feel like I am making excuses.I overthink.It's better because I dont ruminate so much but I need an advice.I think that all I can do is to be a better person and apologise

People usually say on every podcast I’ve listened to that their ocd says “what if they are gay” but deep down they don’t think they are. For me it’s I think I am I don’t want to be because I love my boyfriend and want to Be with him and don’t want to be with a girl. but I don’t know. One thing I do know is that I don’t want to be. Is this the same? I don’t have a knowing anymore that I’m actually straight. Can anyone relate?

In the past I been known to cause people distress with their ocd when I simply try to help by explaining mine so if I trigger u I sincerely apologize I just wanna see to it tht I really am not alone on this journey of mine and can relate to someone with the same symptoms I am and hope that we can resolve ours together so it’s been over a year tht I been existing if I could sleep my life away honestly I would I hate washing my hands Everytime I touch something i really noticed something was off in march-April of 2022 when I was at work and I couldn’t for the life of my get my job done my nose was so itchy it literally triggered my ocd and from tht point on it has gotten worse showers were my escape from stress now they are part of it when it started I would shampoo my hair 8-10 times and it was like tht for a while then it slowly went down to 6-4 times every other day since I wash my hair every other day I would shower once every other day and when I shower I wash my hair so yea and then I’d condition it atleast twice from the time I went from 8-10 to 6-4 it was atleast a 6 month process or what felt like it then I was relieved when it went to 3 nd tht lasted a while to I never understood what my purpose was for washing it tht much but if I questioned it it made it worse and when I got out of the shower I’d pick my dirties up with my feet and grabbed them now I kick them into my room nd leave them on the ground like rn I told my mom tht id put the ones on the floor into my basket when my basket is empty bc it hurts my legs if I have a tower of dirties nd I pick them up from the floor into the basket with my feet I do my best to prevent myself from using my hands at all costs I wish my family knew my struggles they keep trying to get me back to work I left due to my ocd issues starting at work nd I didn’t want it interfering with my job any longer I been unemployed since looking for stay at home jobs and im nervous to go back with my ocd being as bad as it is now part of me thinks it’s a long term covid thing but since I never had covid atleast to my knowledge it probably isn’t it but it just makes no sense to me tht it randomly happened to me I even turn on nd off light switches with my elbows

Hey everyone. So I have ocd, as well as everyone here of course, but! I’m having a bad issue. So I deal with fear of psychosis very badly and I got a lot of anxiety from having dpdr a few years ago that have lingered . Well Ive been dreaming very badly and having terrible nightmares and in my dreams I’m screaming to wake up. I don’t understand it. But its like in my dreams im so so scared of dpdr and psychosis and scary stuff happens in them. It’s causing a lot of distress , to the point I dread sleeping. Now in real life I’m scared sometimes I’ll see or hear things and I’m scared I’ll be stuck in dpdr forever and everything. But I’ve been doing better at calming down. But my dreams are so so so bad. I mean I’m waking up sweating and then being scared to get up bc I’m having horrible nightmares with weird shit happening in them. Anyone experience anything like this. And now my heads like what if I’m getting psychosis 🤦‍♀️. It’s like no break for me. It’s horrible.

My daughter is almost 9 and she was diagnosed OCD almost 2 years ago. I am looking for support on how to support her. She has reassurance compulsions, always needs to know everything is okay. This can be from touching something or smelling something or walking by something. She asks me like 400 times a day.. she also needs the house in perfect order all the time. She is the 2nd oldest of 4 and can’t handle anyone playing with anything or things being out of place. She won’t ever relax and is constantly cleaning and reorganizing the house. She also is very fearful of being sick and is scared that everything will make her sick. She also has a really hard time making friends because it’s hard for her to hide what is bothering her. I thought she might have hfasd, and her psychiatrist agreed that she might but I figure if I can start helping her OCD then maybe I can help her as a whole. She just has a lot of anxiety attacks and I am burnt out on what to do. I feel helpless in how to help her. There are 3 other kids I am responsible for and she consumes almost every moment of my day, except for when she is at school.

Been really struggling with existential OCD since I’ve been dealing with derealization due to high stress levels. I constantly ruminate on how weird it is that we exist. I often ponder solipsism, too. Sometimes I convince myself I am the only person that exists and so I start to try to test that theory by asking questions to my family/friends and trying to predict their answers. I find this ridiculous intellectually but it’s a compulsion I can’t seem to stop. I find existential themes particularly distressing due to the fact that these ideas are unfalsifiable for the most part. Every day I wake up in a dissociated state, constantly feeling this awful dread about existence and how strange it is and how alone I feel in it even though I am not alone technically.

Hey all...so I just had this thing happen a couple of days ago. I wrote about it earlier, but have been obsessing and can't sleep. Please help if you can... I have a fear of numbers, mainly 6 which is a religious thing. We were having this fun drawing for picking gifts. 1 to 25 was written on tiny pieces of paper. I was the second to draw. In my head, I kept saying, " please don't be 6" and of course, it was. I drew the freaking number out of the remaining 24. Now I feel as if I am evil or can conjur this bad stuff to manifest. It has reinforced this feeling of evil. I say I'm a believer in Christ but this has scared me so desperately bad. It seems as if there is no relief. With ERP you choose to expose yourself to your triggers. This feels as if it was chosen for me...by something malevolent? Oh God, please help! My mind is out of control...

Although I’m in “recovery” for my OCD, I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts lately and a lot of anxiety and depression, which is not something I think I would’ve ever let myself admit before. My life situation is 100x more stressful now than when my OCD was at its peak, and although my obsessions and compulsions are not running my life anymore, I also realize I’m in a rut that I haven’t been able to get out of in months. I lost my job last June, and have not been able to find work in a year… I moved out of my apartment and am living with my toxic/narcissistic parents again, and I barely have a social life anymore due to living so far away from my friends and trying to be extremely frugal about money. I’m really struggling with feeling frozen right now and not being about to move my life forward. I’m considering medication for the first time and wanted to know if anyone has any experience with low symptom anxiety/depression meds or SSRI’s in general. what’s been your experience and has it helped both your anxiety and OCD?

Hello guys, I’m having a hard weekend. Of all the what ifs. I hate how ruminating causes me a lot of depression. Sometimes I feel so trapped in my own body idk if anyone else can relate. I’m so tired of telling others about how I feel because I know that: 1) Is getting annoying 2) Is not helpful So I’m stuck feeling this dread. And guilt that I keep ruminating. Any tips or advice about this?? I feel like I’m disappointing God sometimes by paying too much attention to what the thoughts and feelings I’m getting but they’re so hard to ignore. Feed back would be greatly appreciated.):

I really need to know if this is ocd or a sign I should end my relationship so please let me know So my girlfriend has been struggling a lot over the last few months and specifically these last 3 weeks. And I think that’s what caused this because I kept getting slot of harm thoughts and just anxiety over how she was feeling. But basically over the last probably 2 or 3 weeks all day I feel so anxious over the thought of her but not her it’s more a fraction of who she is but mixed with so much anxiety and distortion. I’m constantly waiting for her reply back or constantly thinking about what she’s doing but not in a cute in love way in an obsession needing way. I feel so anxiously obsessed with everything about her. For example if she doesn’t tell me something she did that day but tells me later I get anxious wondering why she didn’t tell me. I feel like the genuine love I have for her is so distorted because all she is in my head right now is a source of anxiety. When I’m not with her it feels like my world is going to end. I love her so much but the relationship is getitng so hard it be in and I know both of us don’t have the energy to be in it in the way we should which she has admitted. Today we tried getting rid of the label of girlfriends and becoming casual and having an open relationship because I thought of the idea because the idea of that helped me a lot. And I felt good about this for about 30 minutes to an hour… until all the anxiety came bskc and I was frantically messaging her and waiting for a response. When I think of breaking up I feel violently sick and petrified, but I don’t know what to do because this isn’t healthy. Also when I think of out relationshuo even just a few weeks ago it feels like an eternity ago like that is an ul ternate reality for some reason, I can’t imagine feeling so happy and things and so calm and secure in her. I just want this bakc because I know it’s still there, I know if we haven’t lost any love and it truly is all pretty much the same deep down I think. I don’t want to just be told to break up, I want you guys to tell me how to get my obsession bakc at bay and for me to feel like I used to in the relationship because there is nothing truly wrong with the relationship or our love for one and other in itself. Thank you!!!!

My friend on here just finished reading his first book and I can’t help but feel jealous I want to finish reading or even start a book too I used to love to read when I was younger but I can’t read anymore because of my attention span and anxiety what if I didn’t retain what I read do I need to go back to that page so I can make sure I understood it … what if I read it too fast or skimmed over it …I used to have an attention span when I was younger but it’s like it was wiped away and I was consumed by anxiety so it’s like what’s the point in reading I’m so sad I can’t even listen to an audio book because the same thing happens I just want to scream at my brain to shut up

I know this may be a trivial achievement for some but for me this is a massive deal, and I can honestly say I'm proud of myself as I lay here crying tears of happiness like an absolute baby. Not once in my life have I ever been able to read more than a few sentences of a book before the noise of my mind made it impossible to continue. I felt as if reading was like counting sheep and would tire so easily before. Now, I've finished reading a book which I would've considered impossible before but this just shows how far I've come. This is proof my hard work paid off and I've gained something I believed I'd be excluded from enjoying for the entirety of my life. Thank you honestly to all those who helped me on here during my recovery journey. Its almost unfathomable that I would be so wholly happy over something like this. You're all amazing

Good afternoon, Background: I am a 34 year old male who has a wife and two kids, four and one. I have had anxiety since I was in elementary school. In the third grade, I would go to the nurse every school day because I thought I was sick. I also struggled with thoughts about burglars entering the house, my family getting hurt, etc. I got "passed this" (not really), but then I became obsessed with rituals when I played sports or was in high tense situations and felt tremendous anxiety when I didn't do them. I graduated high school and moved to college. While at college, I was officially diagnosed with OCD. What brought this on was I couldn't walk past a certain crack in the sidewalk without thinking an intrusive thought. This repeating helped take away the pain and sadness of the thought. After talking with the licensed school counselor, I started taking Sertraline and continued to deal with repeating. However, I was able to live my life and came to the understanding that repeating would just be part of it. At that time, I thought "I would much rather have anxious thoughts, repeat, and move on then try to face them." What Led Me Here: I had ups and downs regarding my mental health in adulthood, but I never really put much thought into it. COVID 19 happened and my son was born in 2020. I found an OCD therapist that helped me deal with intrusive thoughts about my newborn son. I would ruminate and think about whether my son would get hurt or die. I didn't feel bodily anxiety in this situation, because I would just repeat and the thought would go away. I worked with my therapist until the negative feelings went away. It seemed like everything was fine, until 2024. This past winter, I began to feel bodily sensations related to anxiety. I reached back out to my OCD therapist in January and started working with her again. At the end of February, I had an anxiety attack for the first time in my life. The feeling of anxiety I had never felt before lasted for a week and a half and it was extremely difficult. I was always proud of myself when I told people, "My OCD has never affected my ability to complete tasks or do important things." This wasn't the case anymore. I had to take a mental health day for the first time ever. I was able to get through that experience. Two weeks later, it came back. It lasted for about two weeks and my therapist helped me get passed those feelings. Instead of working with her every week, we moved to every other week. Fast forward to my current situation. I had not felt that bodily anxiety sensation for a while, but it came back when I got home from a five-day golf trip. Intrusive thoughts about not wanting to be a father or husband filled my body when I got home. The anxiety feeling returned and now I am here. **If you have read this far, thank you. I feel like it is important to know my story. These three encounters with anxiety and OCD has shown me that I have not been doing my part in getting myself better. I am always looking for short cuts and ways to barter with my anxiety and mental health. Now, I am attempting to not argue with my OCD and let intrusive thoughts in. My therapist and I are working on I-CBT (Inference Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and I wasn't following through with the plan my therapist and I came up with together. Why I Am Writing this Novel I am trying to be positive and believe my core values (wanting to be happy, be a dad, be a husband, etc.), but I no longer have repeating to fall back on. Now, it is just rumination, obsession, and assurance seeking - the battle within. These past couple days, I have struggled mightily with my happiness. It is constant negativity in my head: - "Why bother? You will never be happy" - "You are a horrible parent. You would rather watch TV then be with your kids." - "You are a horrible husband. You are putting your wife through all of this." - "OCD will always win and dictate the life you have." - "See! You are feeling anxiety, so all of your work is worthless." I know the answers to my obsessions. I know the tools I need to use. I am just very afraid that I will not get better. My son, daughter, and wife deserve a present family member. I simply cannot live life like this. It is not a life full of happiness. It is just a life of continuous worry. I mean, I am already feeling dread about my kids growing up and graduating and they are four and one! Again, thank you for reading this. I just want to be better.

does anyone hate using the bathroom.. like everything about it makes me feel so dirty even when i clean myself off w baby wipes and wash my hands good. i convince myself i touched something dirty or my hair touched something dirty like it’s so exhausting and i can’t shower everytime i use the bathroom

Hi i have harm ocd and i am scared I’m going to hurt my cats but i wanted to know if this is a compulsion i get intrusive thoughts telling me to do something bad to the cat so like for example like kick the cat which i would not do but after i get the thought i kick him in a soft playful manner i think i do it to make sure i wouldn’t actually go full force and sometimes it’s worse than just kicking but if it’s really bad i won’t do it but is this a compulsion please someone tell me

Hey everyone hope you’re all doing well! (Unlike me) So I need some help, if somebody’s child is sick, terminally ill or unfortunately passed away, I can’t associate with that person, that persons name or their child’s name or look at photos etc, I can’t even say or think that persons name because I will think of their name and their kids and then I will believe that my daughter will also end up with that child’s illness or even end up passing awah how that child unfortunately has, and I have to do so many rituals to stop it I’m constantly worrying about SIDS my daughter is now 9 months and absolutely striving but it terrifies me so I always think about people who’s had kids with illnesses (deadly) or passing away and it’s all that pops into my head and I feel like cause I keep thinking about these people for instance somebody in my family went through this sadly and their name etc and kids keep popping in my head and every time it does I fear my child will also end up in that situation if that makes sense? I don’t know what to do! I have to repeat over and over people and their kids names who are healthy it’s so draining I’m constantly worrying and checking on my daughter to see that she is still alive due to this

I have harm OCD and I am going on vacation to visit my family in Mexico and as Im driving I just kept thinking about how happy I am going to be to see my family and then a thought pops up like * what if I hurt them or I’m gonna hurt then*, and then I don’t want to be this person but what if the other side of me that does it but I don’t want too, it’s like fighting against another person in my mind telling me that I am this bad person and I’m going to do something bad, I don’t know if that makes sense. I used to be able to control these thought but I can’t no more, is this a flare up or why do I keep having these bad thought 24/7?