Number obsession Please read, offer advice,scared

Hey all...so I just had this thing happen a couple of days ago. I wrote about it earlier, but have been obsessing and can't sleep. Please help if you can... I have a fear of numbers, mainly 6 which is a religious thing. We were having this fun drawing for picking gifts. 1 to 25 was written on tiny pieces of paper. I was the second to draw. In my head, I kept saying, " please don't be 6" and of course, it was. I drew the freaking number out of the remaining 24. Now I feel as if I am evil or can conjur this bad stuff to manifest. It has reinforced this feeling of evil. I say I'm a believer in Christ but this has scared me so desperately bad. It seems as if there is no relief. With ERP you choose to expose yourself to your triggers. This feels as if it was chosen for me...by something malevolent? Oh God, please help! My mind is out of control...

Username: carriejensoncarriejenson

Date posted: 26w ago

i used to have this really, really bad about 8 years ago when i was 13. the number 6 became evidence that i was evil or was okay with evil things or produced evil things. you have to expose to it. purposely do things 6 times, purposely write down the number 6. purposely say the number 6 out loud. purposely say or write the number 66. or even the number 666 or even the number 66666666666. as you write and say these numbers tell yourself that you may or may not be all these terrible things it says you are or could be. ocd wants certainly, so you have to give it the opposite, uncertainty. example; “maybe grabbing this number is evidence that i am evil, but maybe it isn’t” “maybe evil is attracted to me, maybe it isn’t” “maybe there is a malevolent force doing this to me, maybe there isn’t” “maybe i have to avoid 6’s to be a good person and loved by God, but maybe that isn’t true” don’t avoid it, go towards the fear!! i know how hard it is, it feels nearly impossible, but you’re stronger than you think. you CAN do this!! God loves you and wants you to be free of this pain. this is how you do it!! God will be with you the whole way. let me know if there’s anything i can do to help.

Username: BeckahBeckah

Date posted: 26w ago

Thank you so much! This helps to know that I'm not alone!

Username: YouarenotyourthoughtsYouarenotyou...

Date posted: 26w ago

I have a fear of some numbers as well and I can totally relate to you. It had gotten to a point where everywhere I looked I saw that number. I still do. But with time I have become desensitised to it so my advice to you would be expose yourself to number 6 deliberately. Write this number down again and again. Put alarms so that you see this number again and again. It would be very scary initially but with time it would get better. As to how and why we attract the numbers we are scared of; I have no idea lol. It’s random and astonishing. Maybe our brain forgets other numbers that we see all the time but gets hyper when we see that particular number because of the response attached to it. It thinks it’s dangerous so makes you hyper aware of it.

Username: BeckahBeckah

Date posted: 26w ago

Thank you so much for the answer. It's so comforting to know that I'm not alone!

Username: CD…

Date posted: 24w ago

“Bad” numbers? Pls help

I have certain “good” numbers and “bad” numbers. The good ones are clean. They feel clean, good, and pure. They’re the numbers I count to in compulsions. Then there’s bad ones. They make me feel dirty and bad, gross. When I see, feel, think of this number I just feel very dirty. Then like I wanna rip my skin off. Get rid of whatever the number was related to. I wanna puke and cry. I was wondering if anyone else is like this? This also happens with colors. But mainly with numbers. Any tips on how to deal with it? I need to figure out how to cope. I saw and heard the number so many times today. I feel so gross.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 18w ago

(PLEASE READ) feeling helpless

*PLEASE READ* I’ve been struggling with bad harm intrusive thoughts for a couple years now. They’ll go away for a couple of months then get triggered by something and start all over again. As much as I try to tell myself that I would never act on these thoughts I have a memory from when I was little that I was going to hurt my parents in their sleep and that memory has haunted me till now. Of course I didn’t hurt them but I thought it and I feel so guilty about it today that it makes me sick to my stomach. I love my parents so much and would never want to hurt them or anybody. I just want these thoughts to go away because they don’t line up with my values of who I am. But every time I tell myself that my thoughts are not facts that memory pops up making me feel like an awful person. I feel right now as if I don’t deserve any love from anyone because of these thoughts. I’m a believer of God and I feel as if I don’t deserve his love as well and that he has given up on me. These thoughts have also turned into a new theme of being scared I’m actually crazy and going into a psychosis. I’m just so scared and just want to be normal. As much as I tell myself ocd lies to you these thoughts have really scared me and I haven’t felt like myself in days. I’ve also struggled with health anxiety and intrusive suicidal thoughts. I know seeking reassurance isn’t good but I’m so scared.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 17w ago

Someone help please

I just started high school and my OCD is horrible. It was bad the couple weeks leading up to it but now it’s even worse. All of the stress triggered my pure OCD and now my brain is believing that I am evil. And now whenever I try to pray I feel I can’t. Then when I try to use ERP, it just feels like I am going against God by saying maybe I’ll letting evil in.

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Number obsession Please read, offer advice,scared

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