does anyone hate using the bathroom.. like everything about it makes me feel so dirty even when i clean myself off w baby wipes and wash my hands good. i convince myself i touched something dirty or my hair touched something dirty like itās so exhausting and i canāt shower everytime i use the bathroom
I have been there many times. You are not alone. I used to wash my hands every time I touched the faucet in the bathroom. I thought I would get a deadly illness if I touched the faucet and did not wash my hands afterwards. Even cleaning my hands did not help it stay away for long. Keep doing your best.
@SmoothRecovery itās so confusing bc i donāt even fear getting sick or anything it just nags at me and bothers be feeling dirty
It sounds like contamination OCD, and not all of us with this subtype scar from germs or illnesses. OCD doesn't make sense at all, but when you start your journey, these thoughts or feelings lose their power.
yes all the time. i avoid going to the bathroom sometimes because of how much i hate it. its ocd + past trauma for me combining to make a gross monster that makes me feel dirty and unclean all the time
I have such a hard time to describe the feeling of what I call a ādirty spaceā I donāt always mean physically dirty. Like no there isnāt uni all over the floor all the time, no, there isnāt dust all over. It just feels dirty. In my body and head when Iām there. Like if I touch something there the ābadā feeling is now in me. Or on. I canāt explain it. Especially to people who have no clue about ocd, or anything. I had a meltdown last night because I had to go to a house for a couple of hours, and that place was a dirty space. The thing is, it isnāt dirty. Itās a well kept house. But something about the space just feels wrong? I got home and felt super off, like I physically couldnāt move because I felt the bad on me. I literally stripped out of all my clothes after pacing around crying and trying to shake it all off of me. Then changed. And I just sat there shaking off, rubbing it off, crying, and counting. The only place I felt clean was infront of my piano. So I played for a bit. Till I calmed down. Does anyone else know what i mean by ādirty spaceā and ābadā??
Does anyone feel like when they go to the toilet, when you have to pull your clothes up with dirty hands you are transferring toilet germs onto your clothes?
Possibly tmi but one thing iāve been really struggling with lately is using the bathroom and I mean #2. It seems like one of the worst germs to me. First of all I wipe and wipe and wipe more than I assume a person without contamination ocd does but I feel like I must know that its completely clean. Also, I then feel that when I shower and wash down there that my hands are contaminated and I need to wash them multiple times and I spend way too much time doing so. I know this is abnormal but I have trouble understanding how someone without contamination ocd would deal with this situation. I wish I could watch the process of how I should wipe and then how to wash that area in the shower. If anyone else has struggled with this, what did you do to improve? I feel like I donāt know what a ānormalā routine would be that is considered clean enough.
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