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Do y'all ever have intrusive thoughts that you're faking or being manipulative when you try to be kind to someone or do a good deed?

What meds work best for ocd?

Hello. My wedding is fast approaching, and my OCD has ramped up. It’s wild how sometimes OCD can really make you feel cut off from yourself, and how you have to put your relationship to your feelings in a difference context. I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet. I have noticed that my intrusive thoughts/worries/feelings seem to focus on two major fears, attraction and whether God wants us to marry, and when one of those seems reassured enough to experience some more excitement and joy, the other pipes up. I’m still doing all the things I need to do to get ready for the wedding, and I’m communicating with my fiancé every day. I’m not avoiding those things. I know I care deeply about him. It’s just hard not to put meaning into some of the things I feel, and I end up being in just this resigned state some days, wondering if I will ever feel truly connected with my emotions and able to trust how I feel again someday, or not. I’m posting in case someone else can relate. That numb feeling is the worst; when you feel hollow. And then your OCD asks you how long you’ve felt that way, and downplays anything else you may have felt. I really do want to be in a different, more positive mindset in this time of wedding preparation. The stakes of my fears seem so high. And yet, I know I’m not turning around. I just…want to feel more prepared emotionally.

can’t see anything on social media about kids ill immediately get intrusive thoughts and groinal responses and thoughts like “u are a p, u can’t have kids because u are a p” and it genuinely feels like im destined to be a p. like impending doom. that no more what i do i am one and i can’t change or stop it. does anyone feel like this? can it get this bad? my brain feels convinced and it’s like whenever i say im not my body gets all uncomfy and then the groinal responses come. i hate this. am i a p? if i am one i want to get help. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I would rather be gone then be a p but if I am one the least I could do is get help for it but im stuck between ocd and this. what if im just a fraud hiding behind ocd

Hi guys, do you ever feel, even when the anxious feelings are gone (and your not in the back door spike window) that you still dont know who you are and what you're afraid of ( for instance in this case, not being straight) is actually true and that whole OCD cycle you're in might or might not be OCD but it doesnt matter because you're just using it as a way of proving that what you're feeling is normal and not actually face the truth? these are my thoughts right now... I was doing well, but even when I am doing well I still think about those stuff idk... like how do I know what true love is? am I faking my love for my bf and one day I'll be tired and actually just "want to accept the truth because its lighter?" becaus at that point I really feel like I'm in a movie and just playing the role of someone. Between renée rapp coming out as a lesbian after saying she was bi and sophia bush an Chrishell stause falling in love with women after being with men all their life its been kind of a triggering week (even tho when I learned it felt like I was happy like yes! they're a part of the lgbtq+ community as if I was part of that community too which triggered me even more) PS : no disprespect to anyone I'm just really triggered and confused!!

Sometimes I feel like if I didn’t have my OCD thoughts to focus on…what else would I be thinking about? Like my rumination has almost become my hobby - and my brain doesn’t know what else to focus on instead. Has anyone ever experienced this? My OCD ruminations involves a tv show/characters and my compulsions include checking social media incessantly, news outlets, etc - anywhere that I can get information. There are days I feel like this will be the rest of my life and I am trapped. How do I break out of this? Thanks for listening.

Ugh I am really struggling at the moment. I basically feel completely overwhelmed and sick from anxiety all day and like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. All my energy goes into not having a panic attack or crying or breaking down which is so draining. It’s also worse with going back to school and I’m in year 12 so I have so much work and it’s so hard and I don’t think I’m going to get the grades I want. Normally I would really care about this but I just don’t have the motivation and that in itself scares me because I don’t want to look back on this year and regret not trying harder but it’s just too much. Also one of my closest friends recently cut herself completely out of my group so there is so much drama and it just makes everything 20 times worse because I have to deal with that which feels so petty and insignificant as well as what is happening inside my head which feels so real. One day at a time literally feels like to big of a task even one minute or second does.

I had some very difficult weeks with ocd and went through a huge crisis. It felt almost like an identity crisis - one minute I believed that I was a lesbian, then straight, then bisexual, then I questioned if I love my boyfriend or not, we kinda broke up but then decided to just take a break... so, so confusing. But now, in the moment I'm writing... I'm fine! I don't know which my sexuality is or what will happen with my boyfriend. But I'm just so so calm - like of course I'm thinking about all this stuff, and sometimes I'm anxious/sad, but not in the "Oh no I'm going down the spiral of ocd" way. It's so strange, it almost feels like I don't have ocd anymore. But I had ocd syntoms daily for years and even got a diagnosis. It feels strange that everything is fine from one day to another 🤨 I started questioning if this wasn't ocd after all, but it feels impossibile that I have made all that up. Like years of rumination, torture and impossibility to think of anything else... I can't have "invented" that! That's the most strange thing that has happened to me in a while.

Hello. I've been struggling with OCD for a very long time and about 6 years ago I got divorced after being married for a very long time and I often feel like I am very alone because I don't have anyone to talk to about this like I used to be able to talk to my ex-husband about it. I always feel very lonely now and find it particularly hard whatever my anxiety gets very high and sometimes you just really crave a hug from the right person. I've wondered if I used that as a compulsion in my marriage to know that everything would be okay. But I also know that that's just part of having a partner is that sometimes you just need that and I don't have that anymore. I am 43 and I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone but sometimes I'm scared that if I do find someone else I will latch on to them and use them to seek reassurance that everything will be okay. I hate being alone how do you all navigate dating and telling someone about your OCD and themes?

I am going through a hard time right now. I feel so alone. I am scared that I am not taking care of myself. I know it could be worse but I am just so stressed out, it has been a while since I have had to deal with my ocd, but I can sense it slowly eating at me. I am just having such a hard time.

Hi everyone. I am in a sort of situationship with someone I really care about. My OCD has been spiking around our relationship, and it’s been hard. We have been talking about taking a break - and it’s been very triggering for me. I’ve been ruminating, and checking messages and socials, and seeking reassurance a lot. It feels like a “right person wrong time” situation and I am not dealing well with this uncertainty. Has anyone else dealt with this? And does anyone have advice for how to get through this?

I feel so embarrassed in my sessions. I have a nocd therapist and every session she asks what I want to work on and has me come up with an exposure and idk the whole thing feels so embarrassing, i don't want to say the wrong thing or come up with a stupid exposure. I cry after every session because I feel so put on the spot and so embarrassed and I feel like i'm so difficult for her. idk what to do it makes me want to quit therapy all together. ive had good sessions in the past but its so hard to get past the embarrassment every time idk what my problem is.

Anyone have success with medication. I need to get on something as I’ve been so crippled with the physical symptoms of anxiety. I need some hope and advice!

Hi! I am genuinely so happy and attracted to my boyfriend but cannot stop having extreme anxiety trying to figure out my sexuality. Some days I think I am sexually attracted to women and other days I don’t feel this way. How can I accept the uncertainty? Another part of this OCD is I obsess over what the queer community will think of me since I have limited experiences with women. I am so happy with my partner but the OCD is keeping me in fear of missing out. I keep constantly comparing myself to others and getting down that they have had more sexual partners. Seeing if I’m alone in this.

Hi, I'm 17 and I'm not sure if I have OCD My symptoms started in lockdown and I was really scared my parents would get covid and something really bad would happen so: I kept praying to God, taking my shoes off to pray again and again before I left to go somewhere In my religion(Hinduism) materialistic things are ignorance so I'd balance my phone in a risky position and pray everyday --- then I thought that by sacrificing materialistic things (ignorance) like chocolate and music I could go to my dream uni ---then I kept thinking about my mum and I kept thinking she might get cancer so I kept sacrificing things like wearing make up, nice clothes and I kept limiting how much food I ate. I 'fasted' a lot and I prayed for an hour every night. I thought I would regret it so much if I wore make up because id suffer from the ignronave of the materialistic pleasures When I was eating,I would keep looking at a picture of Lord Krishna and swallowing really fast to avoid the materialstic pleasures of taste. I can only do some things by thinking 'i promise to god I'll eat this chocolate' for example. I don't think my symptoms are normal and I really don't know what to do.

I was sick for a week like two weeks ago and I sneezed a lot in my room. I have an idol of God on my desk (I'm Hindu), but every time I sneezed, I did not sneeze in the direction of the idol and I sneezed in my elbow. After I stopped being sick and today, I washed my sheets and sanitized the electronics and things that were around me when I sneezed. However, my OCD is convincing me that the sneeze particles traveled to the idol and contaminated it with "negative energy." And I ran out of tissues and I can't clean the idol and it feels like the idol is contaminated. But I'm trying to justify it by saying I sneezed in a different direction. And if I sneeze in the future, does that mean I have to clean the idol each time (that's how I'm trying to rationalize not cleaning the idol) But I feel so anxious like I have to clean the idol and idk what to do

so I’ve been dealing with ROCD for a hot minute and I guess it decided to switch to HOCD. I went to a women’s soccer game and I feel like I was triggered hella there (no judgement at all ) I met some new friends and there was this one particular girl that I thought I could actually be friends with bc she reminded me of my old friends back home and I just thought she was funny/ a good time. Fast forward to that night we all end up going out to a bar and we met up with our boyfriends. This girl didn’t have a man, I have no idea if she’s straight/bi whatever. I didn’t really talk to her throughout the night unless she was at the table with us , and then by the end of the night my boyfriend and I drove her home bc she was plastered plus some of our friends joined for the ride as well. While getting into the car she goes “omg ‘my name’ i feel like you’re playing cat and mouse with me” (idk why she would say this bc i literally would like mess with her or if she was dancing by me id dance too so idk where tf that came from) and my one friend was like “that sounds a little gay” AND WHEN I TELL YOU MY STOMACH DROPPED hearing that, it did. this happend on Friday and I have been thinking and ruminating “if I am secretly gay” “did she notice something in me that I haven’t noticed in myself” “did I talk to her in a flirty way that like made her think I was gay”. So alas, I am on here to find comfort bc now I don’t want to even see or hangout with this girl anymore and I’m like scared when I see her she’s going to say some dumb shit like this again. No judgment to anyone who is gay, and I know it’s not a problem to be gay or whatever but I know I don’t like girls lmfao.

Even though I know that an instrusive thought can be a thought that has become a compulsion and disturbs us, I cant just tell this to myself and move on. What I mean by move on is that I didn't say that just think that and forget about it, I mean like proces cuz its not easy. I can see the perspective of others when I read on this app and can tell that its ocd, but I cabt just tell myself and say that its an instrusive thought about this one thing. Or I can, but I also cant I cant explain it. For instance, Im telling myself it is but when it comes to writing it down here, it feels wrong because what if the thought is real. But if it hasnt still went away, it probably isnt a part of me right?. It might be ROCD. So I can try to tell about the thought without mentioning it because it feels like mentioning it will make things worse. from the moment I had it I have had this guilt feeling because I know Id never think that but it just came and makes me feel guilty even though its a thought that is the opposite of what Ive always thought, it always disturbs me and I feel guilty and like a betrayer for thinking such thing. Since I guess that I dont trust my thoughts I cant really help myself. Its not a severe thought right now but it used to be worse but it never went away. I feel like Ill always feel guilty about it my whole life and will never get over it. Even right now my mind is telling me not to write about it here because its just not good for me to not because it isnt in reality. And right now my mind is telling me that I cannot be sure that Im actually telling the right stuff, maybe Im just saying these to be saying it and it keeps going on. I always talk to an AI because I go to my psychiatrist once in a month and I left therapy. I just need reassurance...

I had a false memory real event ocd - situation that happened before that causes me great anxiety and stress. I had already talked with the community on this and now the memory came back and the guilt and doubt and anxiety came right back again

I made a post about this yesterday but no one responded My magical thinking ocd has got so bad All day I’ve been tapping my head a certain amount of times to make these thoughts go away I’m exhausted constantly having to tap my head Please am I the only one with this? Can people with magical thinking ocd tell me their experience because I feel like I’m lying