- Date posted
- 2y
Does anybody else feel like there are a lot of resources to deal with our OCD during a relationship, but not after a break up?
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Does anybody else feel like there are a lot of resources to deal with our OCD during a relationship, but not after a break up?
I’ve never been under anesthesia, i’m 19 and I should be getting my wisdom teeth removed, I am supposed to call the oral surgeon, but I still haven’t called after two months of getting my referral, for a few reasons. 1. I think i will die or suffer from serious complications/ be able to feel everything but not be able to move, almost like sleep paralysis, because that type of thing has happened before, only in redheads… I am not a redhead. Just the impeding doom it feels like a possibility. 2. Who will take me/drive me home while i’m coming out of the anesthesia and possibly saying silly things. I don’t want anyone to see me in a state i’ve never been in before. I feel like i’m going to say horrible things that are either directed at the person who is caring for me, or just in general. Even sexually explicit/ morally wrong/ flat out disturbing. If my boyfriends take me what if I tell him I don’t love him ( I do). What if I say something sexual that could be offensive, like sexual acts with other people? (I’ve never done/Will never do). I can’t have my mom take me cause she would hold those things against me for however long it felt right to her. Etc. My teeth are suffering and the anxiety of the what ifs eat me alive every time I think about it. To me this feels extremely vulnerable and it makes me more uncomfortable than anything to not be in control of my words. My sister specifically is an example that makes me feel these things. She told me that our mother said to her when she was healed from getting her wisdom teeth out that my sister said something so bad that my mother said she would never repeat it. Which is very out of character for my mother. And my sister and I are almost positive what she said was a sexual connotation. Has anyone else had this experience?
I have been dealing with my OCD around politics and it has completely taken over my life. I can’t stop see the cruelty, infighting and controversy that circulates in the news everyday. I am unable to do my work or even take naps without having panic attacks. My mother yells at me and calls me insane. She says I am choosing to suffer and I am going to lose everything. I bought my girlfriend a ring and I was going to propose to her in our Norway trip next month, but she keeps crying when she sees me spiral. She has seen me hit myself and say I want to die. She can’t take anymore. I’m losing my mind and will to survive with each passing day. I can’t see the love of my life suffer when I am losing control of myself. I want to kill myself to free her from the pain. I know she will hurt from this, but I am putting her through this suffering every day. I don’t have many friends left and I have no one else to turn to. My own family turns their back on me because they don’t want the negativity and I can’t be completely honest with my girlfriend on my feelings.
I’m not sure if I have OCD, but recently I’ve been feeling uncomfortable/uneasy when things don’t go as planned or when someone breaks the rules or if things needed to be a certain way. It would be the littlest thing that goes differently then what I thought would happen it brings out a lot of anxiety and the feeling of being uncomfortable also I feel very overwhelmed/stimulated. I’ve also developed a constant thought of death and how we are all going to die one day feels like an obsession at this point and it keeps me up, drives me crazy. Is this ocd?
So I’m trying really hard to grow and learn how to deal with my insecurities but it’s starting to get really difficult. I’m away traveling and I’m finding myself and my confidence, but while the guy I’m seeing is at home it’s just all fallen apart with him. He’s recently dealt with a really difficult thing in his life which I’ve been there for him through, but during it he realised he needs to find himself and figure things out, he doesn’t know what he feels towards anything and has told me he doesn’t know what the future holds, or where he stands with me. I’ve come to terms with the fact we may not be together anymore, but I fell in love with him so this is taking a bit of a toll on me emotionally. He said that with me feeling the way I do he didn’t want to hurt me, he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore (at least that’s what I’m assuming from it all) but he’s saying he just wants to take it chill until I’m home and we can talk it through which I’ve agreed on. But I said to him in gonna be going a bit silent, that I’m gonna give him some space now and need some space which I think made him realise that I’m not playing around anymore. I’m really upset about it all, because seeing him with another girl will kill me inside, but I also don’t wanna hold him back from being happy. I’ve asked previously if we’re seeing other people because I don’t want to and he said he isn’t, but that was a couple weeks ago, so I’ve asked again and idk what his response is going to be. I’m worried I’ve lost him, for good, but I can wait to find out. I’m just gonna miss him, I feel like I’ve done everything wrong in trying to keep him. I said that I can’t force him to like me, and he can’t force himself to have feelings for me that he doesn’t have anymore. What stung most is that he didn’t say he doesn’t have feelings for me, and he didn’t say he does. He just doesn’t know what we wants and he’s confused. I keep giving my heart to people who don’t want it. I just want someone to want me
Is anyone else a small business owner/freelancer with OCD? It’s really hard I always have intrusive thoughts about what will bring me clients or what will make people run away. I struggle to make deadlines because I am way too stuck in a perfectionism loop that I procrastinate until I have almost no time to do the project. I love the work I do and I really want to enjoy the whole business side of it but having myself as my boss is horrible bc I’m so hard on myself and need everything to always be perfect before I can exhale which is never so I’m always holding my breath D: can anyone relate?
This has been the worst pocd day of my entire life... i just constantly get intrusive thoughts of having unknowingly explicitly texted minors on NSFW discord servers and explicit chat sites when i only explicitly chatted with women who had their ID's and selfies verified and I only chatted with women who were older than me on the explicit chat site... The ones I found suspicious were those who were unverified or suddenly left the server... this one girl gave me her birthday, so that wasnt that suspicious... but then when i asked this one girl what date she was born on, she just said "13😭" before reiterating that she was 18 later on and many times beforehand... im just honestly so scared and anxious rn... idk if they were lying or not... thats whats scaring me... ive only talked to verified women as far as i know... and i get so scared about minors online lying about their age, and it makes me ruminate on whether or not this happened to me... Ive seen so many horror stories of minors lying about their age and it just terrifies me to no end...
I’m getting these bubbles of negative thoughts/feelings. I think cuz I’ve unconsciously started ruminating and these stronger feelings/thoughts/impulses bubble up. It’s tough to ignore cuz it feels like a gut feeling. Anyone else get this?
I feel my heart break when I think of losing my bf, I still feel a small part of me want him but now everything is pointing me just being lesbian. I’m convinced now that I only like being w him because of the male attention😭thinking of being lesbian and being w women doesn’t feel like desire at all like how lesbians describe it, but it feels so real and part of me just wants to give up and break up with him and just give in to this :( I get a lot of anxiety now thinking about being w men and feels like there’s no other way to explain this. I know it’s seeking for reassurance but it feels so hard to bring myself back from this to even say “maybe maybe not”. I just need some advice :(
I’m due to give birth to my first child this month, and I’ve been able to control my thoughts up to this point. But lately I’ve been having this intrusive thought where my baby is not actually my husband’s, even though I’ve never been unfaithful. I keep thinking, “What if I cheated and am blocking out the memory?” Or, “What if my daughter is a different race than ours because I slept with someone else?” I’ve been trying to work through this thought but have been failing miserably. I just want to enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy… thoughts or opinions?
Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.
My entire body hurts. I’m struggling to make friends,my fear of getting rejected holds me back from making friends. I’m so fucking numb I can’t stand it hardly any longer. I have type 1 diabetes that I have to control on top of having untreated ocd. I can’t find a therapist atm that specializes because I can’t fucking afford therapy. I’m pretty sure talk therapy has made ocd worse. I don’t want to live like this. it’s not even me it’s a shell and I hate my life right now.
Keen to hear how you all get through flare ups? I’ve been doing well lately but the last couple of days have been really tough. I don’t know why, it’s probably a combo of coming back from a trip and not getting back into my routine and maybe also my PMS symptoms. Regardless of why I’ve had a flare up I try to remind myself that these happen and it’s ok. Progress isn’t linear.
Have any of you broken up with your s/o due to Rocd, simply for the purpose of relief and then regretted it? I love my boyfriend but sometimes I feel that I would be happier if I wasn’t in a relationship bc of i constantly doubt him and convince myself he is lying. Did any of you experience your Rocd fully go away in a relationship and then a new ocd theme started? I’m also scared that this might happen and my brain will just latch onto something else once he is out of my life.
I feel I r*ped someone so people felt sorry for me, what is wrong with me
im just losing my mind... im so scared of minors lying about their age online... i dont go on dating apps, and I was on an NSFW discord server (with age verification) and literotica, a chat site where you have to be 18+ to access the chat and the site... Im so scared and anxious of unknowingly messaging minors online when i dont ever want to... I havent been on these places in a while... but im so so so scared of minors lying about their age... it honestly just terrifies the everloving crap out of me... i dont ever want to ever be involved with men or minors in any way... god im so so scared... i dont have reasons to doubt most. The ones I found suspicious were those who were unverified or suddenly left the server... this one girl gave me her birthday, so that wasnt that suspicious... but then when i asked this one girl what date she was born on, she just said "13😭" before reiterating that she was 18 later on and many times beforehand... im just honestly so scared and anxious rn... idk if they were lying or not... thats whats scaring me... ive only talked to verified women as far as i know... and i get so scared about minors online lying about their age, and it makes me ruminate on whether or not this happened to me... Ive seen so many horror stories of minors lying about their age and it just terrifies me to no end...
Repost as I’d love to hear if this is normal :( Anyone else get doubt come in thoughts that aren’t ‘what if?’ Mine are and have always been more like ‘what about this?’ ‘What about that?’ ‘How do you explain this then?’ ‘But isn’t that the same as this?’ Never really what if. Almost like my mind is always wanting me to disprove or prove something. Is this just another way to say what if? Are all these doubt questions?
It all started when my winter break started like 3 weeks ago or so. Me and my bf are a new couple. We started dating late november 2023. Not even three months into dating. And also it's my first relationship. Fresh into dating i had concerns but it wasn't taking much of my time and my mind. It was mostly about if he was gonna leave me and was the relationship going at a pace as it should be. I would occasionaly ask him whether we are doing it right. Like was it too fast? It felt normal in my normal and he told that's what mattered but something in my brain would tell me it should all be by a book but there is no book. We kinda got physically intimate a little too early and i couldn't tell if it would affect the relationship badly in the future . As time passed i was kinda letting go of the "should be's" in my mind. Also the feeling of high dopamine was wearing off and i realized myself becoming sad often not knowing why. I questioned whether it was relationship. He said he didn't know and if it was what can we do about it to make me feel more confident. We decided we gotta spend not everyday together but i failed at that. I wanted to be with him every second. He was kinda less affectionte. I told him about it and he tried to be more affectionate again. I thought that would fix my sadness and thay was the problem. But then i started to find other things that annoyed me as if trying to control him. But then i realized i was keep finding stuff to critize about him and that wasn't really nice of me. So we decided doing weekly relationship check ins would be healthier rather than me keep finding stuff to be sad about. Anyways we went into winter break and i started to feel distant because we weren't seeing eachother. I would feel okay when we talked on the phone. But rest of the day i would spend overthinking whether we are right for eachother. And i started to pick and more and more flaws about him. And that would make me question my feelings. I lose my mind in the course of day and feel better once we facetime or talk on the phone. But then the overthinking and anxiety got worse. It turned into a cycle of finding flaws in the relationship, hyperfixating on the flaws, questioning if it's right, feeling less feelings, questioning my feelings, urge to break up, stoping myself from the urge, remembering all his good qualities, feeling not deserving of his love, questioning if i shoulf leave him cuz he deserves someone better. And it's this same cycle for two weeks. Over and over again in the day. I talked to my cousin and had a relief because she told me she found all those things normal in the relationship. But then questioning my own feelings became a really big deal and often i struggle to feel love. I just have glimpses of love throughought the day. I keep telling the thoughts im having and sensations to my boyfriend. He keeps asking if he can do anything to help. I just never feel relief. I keep telling myself i love him then what if its not enough thoughts hit. I don't find the strength in me to show love. My boyfriend says he does feel it but i can't. I keep freaking out if this means we have to break up. I dont want to i can't stop thinking about it. When we facetimed i would feel better and go to sleep. But it didn't help today. The thoughts came back. I keep crying a lot during the day. I can't eat or sleep. My stomach is icky and heart is tight. I dont wanna feel this way. I want to feel love again. I can't tell if im lying to myself about this bejng rocd. I can't fully believe it is. I watch ROCD videos on youtube. But they arent %100 what im going through. But im scared i am falling out of love and scared to admit it so im hiding behind this mask. I told my boyfriend this exact thought yesterday. He says if you don't love me why would you be so worried. And i don't know. Why am i? Also it feels like i don't exprience relief at all. It's always with me. I pull my hair and squeeze my legs but it never leaves. I feel like my relationship is going to end and i have no control over it. I used to struggle with HOCD back in 2020 so i thought this must be ROCD but what if it isn't. What if it's real and i don't love him. I am going to see my old therapist next saturday. I am not sure if she is really informed on this type of ocd and i am scared she'll say "yep you have fallen out of love, leave him" i dont want to. I just want to feel in love again. And feel the same as him. He deserves a lot of love. And i am sat here crying if i am able to give it.
I am doing a school project on OCD and I have some questions if anyone would like to answer them I could quote them but leave them anonymous if they prefer. This would be shown to my small class and my teacher and that would be it. My questions are Do you like it or not like it when people use OCD as an adjective? And how has OCD affected your life and those around you?
im just losing my mind... im so scared of minors lying about their age online... i dont go on dating apps, and I was on an NSFW discord server (with age verification) and literotica, a chat site where you have to be 18+ to access the chat and the site... Im so scared and anxious of unknowingly messaging minors online when i dont ever want to... I havent been on these places in a while... but im so so so scared of minors lying about their age... it honestly just terrifies the everloving crap out of me... i dont ever want to ever be involved with men or minors in any way... god im so so scared...
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