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Has anybody else had panic attacks out of nowhere and have a fear that you can’t breathe. I get shirt of breath just thinking about a panic attack happening

Is anyone here Hispanic or Mexican that also has OCD? I just want to know/relate to someone because having this illness in a culture that doesn’t believe in mental health can be so isolating and it has made my OCD 20x worse.

Lately im feeling so much worse, cause i let myself feel bad and i tried to get deeper to see the real problem of my fear. I feel scared like i lost what i did believe before, i lost God and i feel like i cant go back to feel how i felt before, cause im not safe. The whole problem is how i started to see God as others say it is. I developed a fear over death, not like just death but dying at a young age before you experience many important things. I want to experience love,having a wife and kids, but im afraid i will die before that, and the concept of heaven doesnt makes me feel good. I want to experience that in here, in heaven we will have other things to do, I want to find my family here. But im too much afraid that God will not give me that opportunity, not that He doesnt wants to, but as He doesnt gives this opportunity to many, like many die young, many children dies before experiencing adult years, so how do i know that God will give me what i want? People say God knows what i need better than I do and maybe He lets bad things to happen to do something better from that, so maybe He lets me die before my time so others will believe in Him but im not okay with that...Or maybe His plan with me was never to have a wife or kids...By what the bible says about God i get these thoughts, and all i get from others is to "trust in God" or "give this fear to Him, and repent" which wouldnt help me... I do believe that we have answer over this, cause no way i just have to trust in God when anytime He can let me die or maybe His plans arent the same as what i want... I cant find no answers that would make me feel good, all is that "you need to accept what God lets happen" and that feels depressing... God wants the best for you but if your death helps thousands then He lets that happen causs thousands are more important than you... this is what i get from what others say. And im not okay with it, i deserve to experience love with another person as anyone does. Yeah i feel like sometimes experiences here in the world are more important for me than heaven, i know the bible says dont get attached on earthly things cause they die as well, im not attached to things, im attached to experiences, i want to leave this world with more experiences than i have now, but thats not in our control and it feels like sometimes its not even in Gods control and it hurts me so bad...Just trust in Him without understanding doesnt help at all...(im still a believer,I just want to get over this)

Today I remembered something horrible and I don’t think I deserve to live because of it. The details are extremely murky, but I have a friend in a sorority who told me about something that happened to someone in a fraternity which I now know would be considered hazing. At the time, I don’t remember reacting more than the acknowledgment of the situation being bad. I don’t remember asking more questions or details which I should have. I believe this friend heard it from someone else. Now I feel sick to my stomach knowing that I potentially know about a crime and never reported it. I don’t know the person it happened to or the fraternity, or any other details clearly to be able to report. I am not in greek life at all so I don’t know anything that would help me to report. I feel like a horrible person and I’m honestly afraid to ask that friend about it again. At this point I don’t know what to do and I feel disgusted with myself. I can’t stop thinking about it and reading about hazing. I would say this is beyond OCD and actual guilt right? I’m a horrible person and I don’t deserve to live. I was told about this maybe last semester and I just recalled it from memory. The fact that I’m still friends with this girl also makes me feel horrible because she never reported it either and I feel like I specifically remember her telling me to not tell anyone. But I think all of this is on me and my inability to act. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for this. I don’t think this is something I can sit with the uncertainty on.

So I take psychology at college and on one of the topics we learned that some research tells us that OCD has been discovered to be due to a chemical imbalance in the brain and that biological reasons behind things can be treated with biological methods (e.g medication). I guess I just wondered that, is there really any point in therapies and things when medication could be so ground breaking and change someone's life completely? 😭😭 I know I don't even know half of the facts but I guess I have always wanted someone to just give me meds and then my life would get back to some semblance of normal, but nobody seems to have recognised ocd in me despite it, imo, being glaringly obvious, and I just want to feel better and get on with life. I'm also on the pill and when I stop taking it per the instructions, my worries, whether genuine or irrational, seem to get so much more intense, which makes me wonder even more about the biological aspect of it all. I'm by no means an expert and I know therapies and ERP have worked so well for some people so honestly I'm just ranting tbh.

I wish I could just enjoy what we have planned and think about how happy I am about us being together for so long. But instead I am anxious that I am making a mistake by being with him, and that I need to end it now because the longer we are together the more it would hurt to end. I am nervous about posting about it on social media because I feel like I am lying to myself and everyone around me. I want to experience loving without doubting everyone and everything, and mainly myself. I don’t want my partner to deal with me. This is so frustrating. I just needed to vent.

I'm having problems today with my OCD, I've been struggling recently with a relapse of an old theme, but anytime I find it out to be OCD or remind myself that it's OCD, I find myself being disappointed? Like, I'm disappointed that this horrible thought, urge, feeling, sensation, ect is apart of OCD instead of me? This freaks me out badly and I hate it so much, please tell me I'm not the only one dealing with this

I learned that it’s way better to think an intrusive thought once and let it go than to ruminate about it and perhaps even do a ritual (or several). The way I see it, one ritual equals one more time that I am thinking about that intrusive thought. And if I think about that intrusive thought, then I might end up thinking that intrusive thought again. Then I might need to do a ritual. But I’d rather just think that intrusive thought once and let it go versus think that intrusive thought, debate whether I should do a ritual or not, worry about whether the ritual will work or if the ritual was perfect, and then finally move on with my life. Then have to experience that same intrusive thought over again. In my past experience, this cycle might keep repeating for at least 5-10 times. But lots of times it was way more. But regardless of how many cycles it will go on for, when the cycles stop, I would have thought about that intrusive thought anywhere from 5-25 times probably. And if intrusive thoughts really could cause bad things to happen (which is what OCD tells us), isn’t it worse to have thought an intrusive thought 5-25 times instead of just ONCE and having let it go the first time around? I’d definitely rather have a low chance of harming someone than a high chance. And letting go of an intrusive thought the first time around seems to be a logical way to do so. This is something that I thought I’d share because maybe it might help someone out there. Also, sometimes I personally feel worse / less innocent when I can’t do a ritual perfectly versus when I get an intrusive thought. Because thoughts are automatic and if a thought comes into my mind, what can I really do about it? Nothing. If I had a choice, I would have made sure it NEVER entered my mind, but unfortunately I do not have that choice. On the other hand, if I’m not able to do a ritual properly, I personally feel like I’m part of the problem and I tend to take responsibility for not doing it correctly. (Maybe someday when I recover from most aspects of ocd, I might look back and realize I was not responsible for it). Hence, this also makes me think that perhaps it’s better to accept the intrusive thought the first time around and let it come and go, vs fight it with lots of rituals which eventually might make me feel worse. The truth is that people without OCD accept them the first time around. That’s why they don’t need to do rituals. Perhaps it’s time to do the same thing they do (which is what we used to do before ocd kicked in) Also, I’m not sure if I should tag this post with only “Magical Thinking OCD” because I think it can apply to all OCD types. I sincerely hope this helps everyone though.

Ugh I just wanna think and feel normal again, my souls tired. Does anyone have this horrible feeling inside of them in their chest, idk if anxiety or depression but even when I’m not thinking about my theme or having intrusive thoughts/images this feeling is eating me alive. I literally can’t sit peacefully and enjoy the moment cause of this terrible feeling and I don’t even know what it is, must be anxiety. I think it’s just driving me to have negative thoughts cause it’s such a horrible feeling.

So my Hocd is at a point where it jas affect my desires and values, like what in life. Like If I told myself I don't want to be gay, then I get this huge doubt feeling like I'm lying to myself. How do I beat this part and get my desire to be straight and not be gay again?

A month before my soocd had its full blown onset I was on a night out and was really really drunk and was at a club with a bunch of my friends. I felt the urge to kiss one of my friends and felt attracted to her and was convinced I was gay in that moment. I forgot about it the next day and continued normally. I never felt attracted to her before that moment and didn’t think about it much until soocd was at its height. I’ve gotten on meds and have been better but can’t get over this moment and keep thinking ab it. The worst part is she’s bi and has often complimented me and been touchy feely and at times I’ve felt major levels of false attraction towards her and been convinced I had a crush on her. It feels like proof but I don’t want to date her or anything. But then my brain goes what if you would like being with a woman maybe that was you’re awakening and you were just ignoring it.

When i was 10 or 11 years old i saw something horrible, the worst thing is how i reacted to it. I was addicted to pornography, and i didn't have a very extensive sexual education, so i watched pornography without thinking where it was going to lead me. At 7 years old i started seeing relatively normal things, but i ended up seeing fictitious things or even real things, which can be considered extreme pornography, and the real thing is illegal to do it, not seeing it, but doing it in reality is illegal. I never did it, but i saw it, and I got excited, that's what disturbs me the most, what normal girl does that? I'm having a lot of stress right now because i'm looking for reviews of a movie called "No one will save you", it's about a girl who feels a lot of guilt but for killing her friend as a child without really wanting it. I didn't do that, but i see people condemning the character and saying that what you've done has defined you, and that just makes me want to die, i have horrible anxiety right now. I try to know if i deserve forgiveness, but i think most people would think that i am deviant, sexually ill. Why in those moments did i masturbate with something so horrible, strange, deviant? I forgot for years and i didn't repeat it (I also decided to quit porn permanently) but now just want to die once i remembered it, i don't know what i'm going to do, how am i going to live a normal life knowing that from my past? ACTIONS REFLECT THE INSIDE OF A PERSON! THAT WAS A SICK ACTION, I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THAT, i just want to be normal, please, nothing matters to me, it doesn't matter if i fail professionally, at least i don't want to be a sexually ill person or a monster, o prefer to fail than to be a monster, i feel like i can't stand it anymore, if reincarnation were real i would like to change my life instead

I set the class color of my analytical chemistry course in canvas to a bright yellow using hex numbers because that’s what I feel like it should be, but that color only shows up online and in the apps it matched it to the closest pre-set color. I’ve been changing the color all semester to try to get it right because I’m afraid if it’s the wrong color I won’t take the class seriously enough and give it the attention it needs to do well. It had been the same color as a chem course I took a year ago and didn’t do so well in, so I didn’t want to think of this class like I did that one. Then I set it to bright red to give it importance, but that didn’t seem right either. Do any of you feel this way about things sometimes?

Hi, I have a question about some meds I’ve been on. I have intrusive, weird thoughts along with anxiety and depression. I’m on Prozac, zyprexa and trileptal and am only 2 weeks into taking all of these. I’m still having all of these existential thoughts and feelings about what is real, and on top of that as having intense brain fog/numbness. For anyone who’s taken one or multiple of these meds, does it get better, and if so when? I’m just scared that this won’t get better I’ve tried so many meds at this point.

I need an explanation I don't really understand the parable and the text can maybe anyone help me with this Ocd: also OCD is triggering me because I don't understand the parable and what Jesus is saying in verse 42 and OCD keeps telling me that I mean to Jesus and says mean things about him and I don't want to think that please help I feel so so bad and I disgust myself! For thinking mean and bad things about God and Jesus Christ

So I’m 17 & I’m curious as to how OCD effects you’re relationships & interests &/or crushes you get on people. This feels a little silly thing since it’s not that big a deal & feels like such a teenager problem, but I thought maybe other people might understand if it’s an OCD things. Whenever I start to take an interest in someone I quickly start to feel obsessed & all I do think about them, it’s been like this pretty much my whole life It; used to bother me & make me feel like I was crazy but now it doesn’t bother me so much. However I’ve started a new job a developed a little crush on one of managers who’s just a couple years older than me; that’s not a big deal but it’s frustrating me how much he’s on my mind the last couple days. I also feel like I’ll get random crushes on people I don’t actually I have interest in but all of a sudden I’ll be obsessed with them & feel like I have a crush on them but pretty much have no interest in actually pursuing anything with them. Are these OCD things? Both the becoming obsessed with crushes as well as feeling like I’m interested in someone even if I don’t & then also becoming obsessed with them? I just wanted to vent a little & get some opinions before I head into work today. I’m still fairly new to OCD, I’ve started to realize it affects a lot of aspects of my life but not sure on everything yet.

For me, these are extra "gifts" that OCD has given me, that I am just now realizing are related to the disorder: Maladaptive Daydreaming: While everyone has mental imagery and imaginative thinking from time to time, as a kid, I would listen to music and let my mind loose for hours at a time, most likely to escape reality and take control. I would make trailers to movies I wish existed or create new content and stories in my head. Cognitive fusion: Strong feelings surrounding situations, items and activities. My mind constantly analyzing how I feel about certain things when I am in the middle of an episode. Related to how things used to be or thinking about how others would look at a situation and taking that as reality. Symmetry: Things needing to be a certain way. Straight, even spacing, tidy. I relate it to the perfectionism that comes with OCD, but really specific. Social issues: I go from being outgoing and relatively chill outside of episodes, to analyzing every social situation for any mistakes or missteps I may have made or things that I may have said wrong. Even if it only lasts for an evening or a couple days after work, these are still obsessions. Impulsivity: I will preface this by saying that research does not support that people with OCD are inherently more impulsive than neurotypical individuals, but for myself, I find that the derealization that comes with my episodes lends myself to being less present, which then leads me to space out and be more "loosely liped" and say goofier things than I normally would. Paired with the social stuff and this is a difficult combination. Sorry all for the long winded post, but I am recovering right now and these are some things that I noticed that might help others with their recovery goals. A lot of my personal growth outside of ERP is challenging each one of these obsessive biproducts. Things don't need to be perfect, you are allowed to have people think you are weird or have people downright not like you. Take a break from being in your head and daydreaming and force yourself to experience reality and all its hardships. Have a weird thought about how time is passing and that the things you used to like don't hit you like they used to, but just let the thought be there and make you feel like garbage for a little bit. Eventually it won't be there anymore and after enough time, new fusions won't come to replace them. All of this is recovery. Comment below if you have experienced some of this or have your own examples. I love you all and thank you for your help over this past year.

For most of my adult life I was told by professionals that I suffered from general anxiety disorder. But most recently after switching psychiatrists, I was diagnosed with OCD, which is the cause of my severe anxiety. And now everything makes sense. Some things I didn’t realize was actually my OCD: - Immense fear that i’ve forgotten something I do instinctively every day. Locking the door, flushing the toilet, turning off the heater, etc. I can not recall a time i have ever forgotten to do these things, but I have so much anxiety that something bad will happen because i’ve forgotten to do them that I will drive all the way back home or to work to check and make sure they’ve been done. It got so bad that I would drive to my office at 10 pm at night because i had the sudden realization in bed that i couldn’t remember if I locked the door. I now have to take a picture of the locked door every time i leave so I can reference it for later and assure myself its been done. - Obsessing over what people think of how i dress, act, talk, etc to the point that I can’t communicate properly because Im trying to think of the correct thing say or how the other person is perceiving me in that moment. It makes social situations exhausting and fills me with dread whenever i have to talk to any one new. I just want to be liked, to have friends, but because of this anxiety Ive found that being alone is the least stress inducing, so I usually don’t talk to people besides family if I don’t have to. - Goes with the above, but constant thoughts that if im not liked by others, i am horrible person. Its all or nothing, either everyone likes me or im worthless. It makes every interaction insanely stressful and i obsess over every word i said for hours after I get home. - Texting is a nightmare. Writing, re-writing, and RE-WRITING texts to make sure they sound okay. Then asking my fiance to read them himself to make sure they sound okay to an outside person before sending them. And then the immense fear after sending them that what I’ve said is going to be taken the wrong way and waiting on the edge of my seat to see if/how they’ll respond. And im not talking about serious conversations, this is just simple back and forth. - Sending long paragraphs with as many details as possible to try and avoid the above. When probably just an “okay” would’ve sufficed. - I work in marketing/graphics, and all my coworkers know I’m obsessed with symmetry and even spacing. Everything needs to feel balanced, or its completely wrong. I refuse to send out anything im not 100% happy with, and ill spend extra time adjusting spacing and sizing by less than a 5% difference over and over again until im satisfied. Ive had coworkers ask what i’ve changed because its so minuscule to them. But in my eyes anything that isn’t spaced evenly or lined up correctly is glaring and unacceptable. - Being consistently late to things because my compulsions and obsessions take my mind away from time management. Im just considered the person that can never arrive on time. Its a running joke in my family at this point, but it still makes me feel bad. My parents always instilled the need to be punctual so you’re not wasting other peoples time, but my brain can’t make it happen no matter how hard i try. These are just a few of the things that I’ve come to realize are attributed to OCD. I honestly thought for a while that this was just simple anxiety and that everyone felt this way, especially because my mother deals with similar issues. Has anyone else dealt with similar issues? Im on anti-anxiety medication currently, and it seems to help most days. I’m interested in learning more about others experiences and if any one has come up with coping mechanisms that help them work through their symptoms. p.s. apologies for the long post lol

I can't tell if this is OCD or a legitimate concern. Seven weeks ago, I dropped my phone on the floor of a public bathroom, right on the floor drain next to the sink. I cleaned the back of the phone case and my screen with disinfectant wipes but didn't take the phone case off and clean the inside bc I just didn't think about that at the time. Then I put my phone in my bag and went home. Since then I threw away the phone case entirely but because I put the phone into the bag without cleaning the INSIDE of the case that day, I'm worried that bacteria from the bathroom floor spread underneath the phone case and then to the rest of the inside of my bag & contents of my bag. I've resisted throwing away this bag for weeks bc I tried convincing myself my worries are just OCD, but the thought that I might make other people sick if i keep using this bag is making me feel terrible. The anxiety hasn't lessened at all. Idk what to do. I can't afford to replace the bag and my wallet and I can't stop panicking. I just wish I never dropped my phone in that bathroom 😭

I never had a girlfriend but when I went to university I was hooking up with girls and we was sleeping together but I seen things on porn that I thought they’d like and they did not, I took it as I’m an awful person etc. and felt massive guilt, then fast forward to a night that happened a year ago, I was out and walked home very intoxicated I’m scared what I done because I woke up with enormous guilt etc. and ‘R*pe’ was the thing that I couldn’t get out of my head or that i may of done it, I feel awful nothings came of it but I feel awful. What do you people suggest