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Super exhausted. Totally have developed an obsession/attachment to my coworker. I have a long term boyfriend so this is a frustrating theme to handle lol

I’ve come to the conclusion my current therapist is defiantly a good one just not for me. It said on her site she knows how to treat ocd and lots of other things… but i don’t think she understands erp and she kinda reassured me a lot which ik is bad for ocd (i’m not even trying to get the reassurance ethier. ) She doesn’t rlly do behavioural things with me, it feels more like talk therapy and i’m sure that’s great for some people and i don’t want to talk bad about her but i feel like i’m wasting my parents money with her because she’s not rlly making things better for me and i don’t feel a great connection ethier. Then i go and think about how a NOCD therapist would be great, however it’s quite expensive and also i feel like it’s more of a “fix you up and send you off” therapy where they treat you but then u don’t get to see them again. What i want, is a therapist who’s experienced with ocd and does specialised treatment but can also help me with other issues i suffer with. How do i find someone like this, like what sites list them? I want them to rlly understand the treatment but i’m not sure what this type of therapist is called.

Hi! I've been in a pretty rough ocd anxiety spell the last 2 months. I've just come to realize that googling is my complusion. I will spend hours not even realizing it googling my new medication I'm on searching for reassurance from others that my meds are going to work. Literally read everything possible. Does anyone else have this complusion? I start therapy Apr 8.

Howie Mandel knows a thing or two about what’s funny. But he also knows what isn’t funny: OCD. "Nothing has made me feel more isolated than having OCD," Howie shared. By joining NOCD in a brand new series of PSAs for the #KnowOCD campaign, Howie hopes to combat the stigma and misunderstanding that keeps others from sharing their experiences, and help everyone who is suffering in silence from OCD feel less isolated. Howie is standing up and sharing his journey with OCD, hoping to empower anyone going through similar struggles to do the same. How has living with OCD made you feel? Check out Howie’s recent post and share your own story in the comments.

Hi. my name is Ally, im 18 and im in my last year of high school. i've always been in and out of therapy, but I've never been able to get to the route of the problems i have. I constantly fear talking about things like this, but here i go. -horrible thoughts of things such as rape, pedophilia, beastiality and incest popping into my head randomly (NOT URGES !!!!) and coming up in my dreams. -expecting the worst outcomes -believing that my actions control what will happen next in my life (if i dont do this specific thing, i will die or someone in my family will die) -intrusive thoughts and dreams that feel so real i believe it actually happened. i dont mean to intrude, this is a very safe space for people who suffer with OCD. i just feel i have no where else to turn. does this sound like ocd? something else? please if you can, i cant live thinking and feeling this way anymore, please help me.

I can’t remember what triggered this theme this time, but it’s been almost a week and I’m in hell. I just cannot accept the person I was as a teenager and the things I’ve done. It feels like I don’t even know who that person is anymore but I know that it’s myself and it’s so hard to accept I’ve done such heinous things. I want to kill myself but I don’t want to die… I want to go back in time and change these things but the very fact that I can’t leaves me with no other choice except suicide. I simply cannot understand how people move past their mistakes. I feel so unstable rn I can’t stop crying, I can’t eat, sleep… haven’t left my bed except for work. I’m struggling so bad rn but my OCD tells me I deserve it. Maybe I do, I don’t know anymore my whole life is tainted and so are those for whom I’ve hurt.

when you’re recovered, does it mean you’re never responsive to your brain’s alarm bells any more? what if there’s an actual cause for concern and you write it off as ocd and don’t do the necessary actions? i see that i’m asking very ocd-like questions here. but i’m just genuinely curious. like where’s the line between normal people who respond appropriately to fear and anxieties, and people with ocd who over-respond? and then, when people with ocd recover, do they become similar to normal people… or do they just never respond again to dangers?

I didn’t even know existential OCD was a subtype of OCD. I’ve struggled with OCD, depression, and anxiety for a large portion of my life, I also struggled with pandas all throughout middle school. However, recently I feel like I’ve been in the darkest whole I’ve ever been in. One day, I thought about the meaning of life, and since then, that’s all I can think about. This has occurred for months. I constantly think about why I’m here, and why I should care to be here. Why should I care to be happy? What’s the point of it all. That’s all I think about with everything I do. Whenever I get the smallest amount of joy, those intrusive thoughts come back in ask, “why are you even happy? Why should you care to be happy?” Why why why. It’s exhausting, and it’s taken away all of my energy and motivation. I’m pushing through because deep down, I know this isn’t myself and I want to get better. I want to live my life without thinking these things, and I want to be able to enjoy it. But at the moment, I just don’t even care about anything. It’s terrifying, and I wish I had a normal brain, or I wish I could just shut off my thoughts sometimes. If anyone has advice, it would be greatly appreciated.

My biggest theme is existential and at times it latches on to “what if evil is controlling us”.. I was telling my therapist how OCD makes you doubt everything then she proceeded to say yes it does and that she had a therapist who once said that OCD is the devil… you can tell she tried to redirect it!! She than followed with “but I know and study shows it’s the brain”. I felt sooooo triggered and now I am crying cause like why would you say that.. now I am back thinking what if OCD is the devils work. 😭

My ocd has gotten so bad and now I’m obsessing over something that happened years ago. I’m 22 now and the thing I’m worrying about happened when I was in high school. I’m so deeply ashamed and embarrassed and I feel like I’ve ruined my relationship with my mom because of it. Also sorry for the tmi. In high school I used my electric toothbrush as a vibrator, and I kept it in the bathroom to not arise suspicion. I think I used a different toothbrush to actually brush my teeth lol. Then one day maybe for Christmas I’m not sure i forget my mom bought me and my sister new electric toothbrushes. She said she could just use my old one. I freaked out and didn’t know how to get out of it like I didn’t know what to do so I just let her take it. I went through a long period where I obsessed so much over how disgusting that was and how could I let her use that. I think that was probably that start of my real event and contamination ocd, I remember worrying nonstop about it and feeling immense guilt. I obviously know intention wise I just didn’t know what to do and how to get out of that situation, there was no bad intent I just didn’t know what to do. I wish I had just told her like no I want to keep my old toothbrush or something like that. But I know what’s done is done. I felt a lot of shame but eventually moved on from it. I recently went through a breakup with my ex of 4 years and since then all my ocd themes have been absolutely horrible, and I’m freaking out about it. I feel like I’m lying to my mom and that I am the worst person for what I did and it’s really distressing because I really value my relationship with my mom and it feels like I’m disgusting and I worry about like would she hate me if she knew? If I think logically I know that although it would be an uncomfortable conversation I don’t really think that’s something she would hate me for. She’s an understanding person and I think yeah of course she would think it’s gross but I don’t think she’d like disown me. I just fear the worst and feel this need to confess but I don’t think I can ever tell her that because it’s just so gross. I’m obsessing over is this something even a person without ocd would be so ashamed of? Or maybe just the way I’m taking it to the extreme in terms of guilt is my ocd. It’s just really hard to feel like maybe it’s not ocd and it’s just like actually a horrible thing that I did.

Okay, my strategies of trying to get rid of the same sex thoughts have gotten so worst. It’s annoying and it Inter vines with my life 24/7. I used to be a bisexual and ever since I’ve been with my bf , I haven’t had feelings for girls. It’s been almost five years and I recently started the thoughts of doing inappropriate things with girls, I know I wouldn’t do this stuff bc that’s not who I am. Is there any stronger ways to get rid of this hocd?? I’ve tried acknowledging my thoughts and not ignoring them but they do not work. Now I can’t even LOOk at woman the same without having a bad thought and gronial response and I just really need help. If there any stronger strategies to help me get rid of this, please let me know.

I woke up today feeling a bit more positive the last few days have been really rough, been crying, having outbursts of shouting and today I just feel exhausted and don’t want to think about it but at the same time I was ruminating on it so much and worrying a lot and it feels really difficult to just suddenly forget about it, I’ve been worrying because it feels like when I imagine the thought it feels like ‘I like the feeling’ of imagining doing that, the thoughts are about smothering. It’s been feeling like the end of the world and I’ve been worrying because it feels like I actually want to act on the thoughts and it’s horrible, feel like I don’t trust myself. Today I feel exhausted and just want to feel normal again but feel like I can’t just go back to forgetting about it and feeling normal since the last few days have felt so rough and real like it couldn’t have all been for nothing, all that worrying? Surely it must mean something? And it feels like I could easily just start worrying again, I’ve got a bit of anxiety and feel uneasy already, but I don’t want another day of misery. But it feels like these thoughts definitely mean something and it feels like if I choose not to think about it because I’m still kind of believing it that I’m just trying to pretend I’m not evil by forgetting about it or postponing being evil 😞😞

Hi there! Has any of u here struggle this kind of OCD?I always suffer after using bleaches or household cleaners thinking I have left some amount on surfaces after cleaning. How to deal with this?

Please. My ocd just ruined my night wit someone and I’m crying so hard. I don’t know what to do anymore . I hate ocd so much

would really appreciate if you help me out. I'm a teenager whose parents won't send me to therapy and can't afford one right now. It's been 2 months since I've first had the thought- am I in love? It was out of nowhere and ever since then for the past two months I've had these thoughts every single day. There have been many. To the point I once even decided to break up. But the anxiety the thoughts brought were a kind of reassurance that it's not me it's my rOCD. but lately, these thoughts don't affect me. They just come and I am not scared or annoyed or irritated. Makes me feel like what I'm feeling is true. It's scary. I've finally gotten over the urge of break up but now I feel like my boyfriend doesn't matter to me anymore. That I don't love him or even care a bit. Like nothing he does is gonna affect me. He makes no difference and I know these thoughts are not true but then I don't feel anything that'll prove it otherwise. I dont feel good or bad or anything about him which is weird for me because i even feel stuff about the people who have hurt me bad whereas this man is the love of my life. It does not hurt but i know im hurt Deeply.. We are on a break right now and I'm in a long distance relationship which makes it harder but days are now going by naturally and I'm not feeling depressed like before. I desperately want to get out of this and go back to being the loving and caring girlfriend i once was. Its feeling like somehow im blocking out my emotions and whenever i try and think about him in a loving way, i feel restless, uneasy. Can you please just give me some advice on my situation or what to do. I really need one right now. I know I love him. It just is so confusing. It will really mean a lot.

No one around me understands what its like to have this torment constantly in my head. My religious father is waiting for the chance every day to explain why these thoughts are "oppressive spirits" attacking me, and neither of them understand why I'm still tortured by them. I feel so alone. I know I show every symptom of OCD but I feel like such an evil and undeserving person, and my dad wanting to push his religion day in day out makes me want to snap. Having these two concurrent pressures on my mind makes sanity hard to maintain. I just don't get why I had to be born this way and be predisposed to being miserable. It's not like I can easily even self medicate either because I believe it's my fault and the guilt is all consuming, of which I can do nothing about and yet it's yelling over and over I'm to blame and need further punishment. I just can't take it anymore. I'm probably going to keep using drugs I guess until I get a good therapist, because I just can't take this anymore now that I have no one to talk to who would understand. I have done some exposure therapy but it's just so hard. I hate my past self. I hate that I was born just to be unhappy. I'm definitely autistic and misunderstood and mistaught my whole life until I got into my later teenage years, so rationally I know I should not blame myself, and that my real events have more nuance behind them, but fuck man I am pushed to my limit every day. I hate always feeling so sad when I see everyone else in public living life normally. I feel like a lost cause, and my SI is slowly coming back in because it feels like there's nothing I can do anymore and that I've tried everything. I'm so fucking tired. Even if I can see everything logically line up with OCD, it doesn't matter. I feel alone, I feel like I can never be understood, and I feel like I don't deserve sympathy anyways. I fucking hate life and myself. I managed to do it so wrong I guess. I question why I even bother sometimes. One day I'm going to have a meltdown and scream my lungs out again, I'm counting on it. 🫠

I’m 4months post partum. I have anxiety, depression and OCD intrusive thoughts. One month ago, I had no idea what was going on with me. I was sure I was losing my mind and going completely crazy. But, luckily I found information end of February what was going on with me (OCD harm, post partum, inappropriate intrusive thoughts) I’m working with a post partum counselor that is trained in ocd intrusive thoughts. But I’m here because I feel that I need something more, or maybe to find a better fit. I receive my first call tomorrow with this app.. wish me luck. Also Im also on medication, anyone else? It seems it got better not a whole lot.. it’s only been 3 weeks. Thanks for reading and remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE ❤️ we will get through this. Much love from the desert 🌵

I want to beat OCD because I want to live my life to the fullest. TW (Existential OCD, DPDR, TOCD) I’ve been having crazy existential OCD which started after I had a life changing health crisis. I’m young so this hit me pretty hard, causing derealization and depersonalization. After this, I’ve been obsessively asking myself existential questions which have no answers and proof. This derailed me completely. I was full of love and life and now, a lot of times I question if anything or anyone or even I am real. I want to beat OCD so I can live and love whether or not things are real. I also started having TOCD. I always loved my gender. I’ve never wanted to change anything about my gender. However, one day I randomly started having TOCD which really took over me. I want to beat OCD so I can wear makeup, paint my nails pink, wear sweats or a dress, and wear my hair the way I want without leading to obsessive questions about my gender. I want to do what I love, look the way I want, and love who I want without obsessing over my pronouns and gender. I have one life and I want to live it the way I want. OCD is persistent but not more persistent than I am. I don’t know why I wrote this post but I hope it can motivate someone. We can beat OCD together :)

I feel stress definetly brings out my OCD and makes me feel depressed

Can harm ocd convince you that you actually like the thoughts or that you would actually want to act on it and that it would feel good to do that horrible thing? I feel like as time is going on I’m believing it more and more that I’m bad and it’s to the point where it feels like I want to act on the thoughts or I would like the feeling of acting on the thoughts but at the same time I’m crying all the time and miserable about this and I wouldn’t want to do that but I’m believing it so much and it feels too real and I feel worried because it feels like I want to act on it or would like the feeling of acting on it, is that an ‘urge’ at the start I use to get ‘urges’ but then it felt like it hasn’t happened for a long time but now I’m think is the reason it feels like I want to act on it or would like the feeling because I’m getting fake ‘urges’ and I’m confusing it for me ‘wanting to do that’ or that I would ‘like the feeling’ ? Like I wish I had a button to get rid of this problem because I would never want to be bad and wish I could have my old life back but at the same time I now it feels like I want to act on it and I’m worried I don’t want to be bad but I feel like I’m lying as well and secretly want to please advise me 😞 I’ve been in a state all day of worry, I was fine for a few weeks was feeling so much better and then I came on my period and suddenly it’s a huge turmoil of emotions and feels like a big problem and that I’m actually evil and would want to do that and I feel awful and miserable