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I don't know why i feel like this. Could it be because I'm going through things? Maybe depression. Could anyone help me out?

I'm a nonbinary lesbian working in education and the constant news stream against LGBT teachers and discussion of LGBT topics in classrooms causes me a lot of intrusive thoughts. I worry that talking to my students about my girlfriend, celebrity crushes, and LGBT media they're interested in is somehow wrong even though I know if I were straight this would not be an issue. I know at least one of my students has unaccepting parents because they misgender them and they asked me not to use their real name & pronouns with them. If they were to have an argument and me accepting their kid was brought up I'm worried they would submit a complaint or somehow get me put on Fox News. I do things that have already gotten educators put on Fox news like asking students for names & pronouns, not outing students to parents, openly being in a gay relationship, and celebrating pride days. My rational mind knows these things are not wrong but when conservative media is constantly calling me a p3do for existing as an LGBT educator and supporting at risk students it causes a lot of POCD thoughts. I will continue to support my students because it's very important to me but I'm not sure what type of ERP I should do to address my mental state. I have to be open with my students so I can talk to them about topics like interpersonal anti-LGBT bigotry and internet safety because no one else is doing it. We did a segment at the end of a session on how to block and report any content that makes them uncomfortable on a few different social media platforms because a student voiced a complaint and I'm sure Fox News would take issue with that as well for some reason.

Has anyone tried or looked into psilocybin treatment? I keep reading good things but the idea freaks me out. I tripped on acid once - long time ago and spent 12 hours in an OCD hellscape that took years to fully return from.

This is really disgusting to even talk about but I been dealing with intrusive sexual thoughts and I get triggered for everything so I avoid the news and all that but my bf was telling me this disturbing story about how someone did something sexual to a dead body and I got an intrusive image of me doing doing that and I always avoid anything bad in the news because of that and I feel so disgusted then it kept getting worse and I got an intrusive thoughts of my bf dead body and I was like wtf why would I get an image of that then my mind started bringing up family member that past away and I’m scared of getting more intrusive thoughts I’m so scared I think something is wrong with me why I’m I thinking like I love my family and bf why I’m I having these disgusting and disturbing thoughts of them or anyone it keeps getting worse I would never even wanna do that or think of that please help

My OCD latches onto anything, a friend was talking about a guy said that god couldn’t kill him and 3 days later he died in a car crash and now my ocd has me fearing that and now it’s making thoughts pop into my head saying the same thing about god and then I freak out and pray saying I didn’t mean it and it just keeps popping into my head then I get to worrying that what if I mean it when I say it in my head so now I have the fear that god will believe my thoughts and then I’m like what if one day I actually do mean it and then something bad happens to me too. It’s just got me freaked out I haven’t worried about stuff like that but after my friend said what that guy said, what that guy said keeps popping into my head like me saying it over and over and it’s freaking me out and now I have to do compulsions to let god know that the thoughts scare me and hope he never believes then and I hope they are never meant cause I’m scared I will mean it now too and it’s all got me scared, does god kill people that say stuff like that? Does anyone know anything about anything like that?

i have gotten a little better with my fear of touching/bumping into people, mainly due to exposure of going places where it just happens and no one cares. i’m not all the way better though and today walking my dog, waiting for him to finish his bathroom stuff i may have felt something on my bottom and now i’m worried my bottom touched someone, is this a form of sensory motor?

Remember to have hope don’t give up on who you are don’t give it the thoughts that cause you distress people will always be negative any way or shape they can be understand the mind can be a peaceful place but also are horrible place too. Just know whatever your facing with any type ocd isn’t going to stay forever remember to face triggers and don’t give in to any thoughts that you know aren’t you or never thought of before this. Sexuality doesn’t change and won’t you aren’t suppressing your true self it’s just ocd is confusing who you really are. Listen and follow everything your therapist says. One day you will look back at this and realize how much of stronger person you became because of facing your fears head on. Remember you have a choice to live your life they way you want it!! Thoughts are thoughts and even the ones that make you will question who you are doesn’t mean that you will become it you need to believe in yourself. Ocd is and will always try to find anything to make you upset, sad, depressed, doubtful, etc. I really hope whoever is reading this understands you aren’t alone and this is a mental health situation not anything to do with who you actually are. Remember people are ignorant and will always be that way in life no matter what happens. Just continue living life don’t give in to the anxiety. You aren’t in denial and don’t seek reassurance. Make a promise to yourself that you will not let the thoughts stop you from doing what you do on a day to day basis.

Hi Everyone! I just joined NOCD so looking forward to hoping manage my ocd better. I currently struggle with contamination ocd. I trace it back to a memory I have when I was 15 years and I basically was put in a state of fear. I was in 9th grade and A lot of kids came into my school that were not good. It was a day I was doing after class activities and this kid grabbed my wrist and said some things to me. Nothing else happened. I never interacted with this kid again after that. But being 15 years I believe I was in a state of shock and fear that it just opened up and triggered me. I started being afraid to go to school, only wore certain things to school, immediately came home and washed them. I did my homework in school because I didn’t want anything from school to touch anything in my house. I shut down from my friends. All I wanted to do was be done with 9th grade. I honestly didn’t know at that time what was happening to me. This was the first time I experienced OCD. I didn’t know it but I figured it out later in life. After 9th grade I saw a counselor for a bit but didn’t help, and my parents moved me to a new town we were moving into a new house and new school system. I got better didn’t have any more ocd issues. Flashback to my twenties had another trigger of ocd where I was doing rituals and what not lasted a couple of months I beat it by myself. Then got to my later twenties and it came up again. Repeating, counting, intrusive thoughts, hard time functioning, ended up seeing a therapist, put on medicine. It helped me for awhile, managed it again didn’t do my rituals as much to Covid hitting. I think Covid got me out of my normal routine and kind of put me in a funk. I saw something in my house that triggered me all the way back to middle school. It was a item that was from my memory touched my backpack from my old school. Give or take all these years past and I definitely touched things from my old house but out of nowhere it starts a trigger of fear again where I feel contaminated. I feel that anything that touches this item is dirty. Some days I got past it others no. I started doing the same thing again but worse. Used gloves to open doors in my house, wouldn’t touch anything in my room without being showered, if I think something touched something that was connected to it I threw it out, have to clean things all the time, sanitize everything but only in my house. On vacation, staying somewhere else I am normal do not do any of this. It’s all doubts. Can anyone else relate to anything above? And how do you go about living in the contamination? Living with the doubt that even though you know it isn’t really contaminated your mind still thinks it is? How do I get past this doubt? Deep down I know it’s not real. I got past that incident years ago and I accomplished so much in my life. But right now I feel I am letting it ruin my life. My avoidance and reassurance is so high. It’s getting hard because I have a beautiful life and I feel I am ruining it for no reason because of this mental illness. And for something that happened years ago. It is very tiring which I am sure everyone would agree. I am so tired of it. It is so exhausting. I honestly believe that we are all so strong for dealing with our ocd issues. It is one of the hardest mental disorders to have. I am glad that I found NOCD here’s to hoping it helps.

Tomorrow is the day… I was able to get in with a therapist tomorrow and this time around.. i told myself this time around that I am going to give treatment 100% of my effort. As someone who has struggled for the last 6 years.. i think it’s time i do myself some justice. PART of my rumination has gone back to remembering thoughts I’ve had from when i was either 11/12 and onward to the current age I am today (26). It’s almost like yesterday I remember the very first intrusive thought i had was “what if i was gay”. And ever since that day it has come and gone but when OCD spiked… it was around 20 years old.. I know we have a lot of different people in this forum, id be lying if i said i wasn’t nervous, but I’m tired of having “I’m gay” play over and over in my head until i believe it. It’s exhausting For those that have this theme, or any theme for that matter. Do yourself the favor, and try and seek help. Mental health is no joke. It’s taken a lot from me since college. It’s deterred me away from people, experiences. Hell it takes away from my currently relationship now with the women i will probably marry. This will be the last post I make on here, unless it’s my recovery story. I’ve been close, but this time. We are going straight to the source and facing it head on. If anyone needs a friend. I’m always here as well. My heart is out there with all of you struggling 🫡

All I've been thinking about is this one incident that could ruin my life. I was doing so well until I had this happen and remember it days later. All I can think about are what ifs, what my thoughts were, what my intentions were, and I can't get to a full 100% answer for any of them. All I feel is guilt and regret and thoughts about my worst nightmares coming true

When I was in the throes of OCD, beating it wasn’t something I was even sure was possible with my severe case of OCD. But life had become unbearable, so even though I didn’t think I could be helped, I started ERP treatment anyway—unsure if it could make a difference. Slowly but surely, I gained confidence and motivation. What motivated me to really conquer this condition was once I started to see real life-changing results. I started to commit to treatment no matter what. Then I became motivated to keep going. I now live a very normal life. It took a leap of faith before that, but that step of faith was worth it! What motivates you to beat OCD?

i woke up this morning with anxiety and i started spiraling and i had to continuously tell myself that i’m okay and i’m fine which i feel as if i’m doing it over and over again. my ocd is telling me that since it’s been a few good days that i want all of these things to happen and be real. im hoping to be able to move forward after this morning. does anyone else get like this or feel this way or is it just me?

Does anyone here take daily medications for there OCD? I have been in therapy for 2 years now and promised if I still struggled where I was anxious everyday I’d look into medication. I’ve been prescribed Zoloft however I have heard something about peroxine not sure if that’s how you spell it which is very good for OCD.. has anyone ever taken it or heard anything about it!

How do you manage the thoughts of not seeing a future with your boyfriend? It get’s so frustrating, I’m sad and scared. I can’t even get intimate because I feel like everything is lost, or i get anxious, and start overthinking. I push my partner away, he makes me anxious too and i don’t even know why because he’s been great!!!! I made bad decisions in our relationship and since I confessed to him, I was completely convinced that we were going to break up, and that I would feel better if he made the decision to break up. I start imagining my future without him, and i don’t like it. I feel disconnected, he really doesn’t like it when i call it that way, but it’s like idk myself and don’t recognize him either sometimes. Or if he makes plans for the future is almost as if i dont want them.

Sigh. Just wanted to vent somewhere to people who understand. I’ve been struggling with my ocd for the past 2-3 weeks after having a breezy few weeks. My fixations have been moving from one mark on my son’s body to another to another. I’ve fixated on a birthmark on his neck for the past 3 days and the compulsion to examine it, compare it to photos I’ve taken months back, and ruminate have been relentless. I’m so tired. So my mind always tricks me into thinking any pigmentation or marks are something I should be worried about. Or am I upset because I can’t seem to “answer” my questions if it is or isn’t. Or because I know it’s my ocd thinking yet I can’t seem to connect the dots to process this and move on. I’m sorry guys. Hope you’re all having a better night then me.

Once again, haven’t been on this app in a while. But lately I’ve been feeling how I was again. Some days I’ll completely forget about my worries and then I’ll suddenly remember again and then everything becomes a trigger AGAIN. I start coming up with these conclusions and what ifs and getting the most anxious feeling. I still try and move on with my day and I have gotten wayyy better at moving on. When it first started happening it’s almost like I accept my fate and decide to do nothing and let myself go completely. And soon would have anxiety attacks to the extreme like every other day. Now I try to move on but my brain is fighting me. It keeps telling me that one day I’m gonna make a horrible mistake and the only way to stop myself is ending my life. Which I do my absolute best to not let that persuade me. But it gets really tough. More than what it looks like on the outside. I feel like giving up so often but I don’t. I look back at my life and think what went wrong. But I guess this is just life. Bad things happen. And we just have to keep going. There’s a few things coming up in my life that I’m feeling anxious about because I’m scared I’ll make a mistake or that I’ll have anxiety and ruin everything. I know that’s just me trying to avoid things. But the fear is absolutely real. There’s been so many days I wanted to look something up to see if I’m right about something and I don’t because whether or not I get a good answer, I won’t get any long term relief. I will always come up with something new. And it’s exhausting. I’m also scared that one day it won’t go away at all and I’ll just completely give up. Who knows though. I just want to say I’m proud of how far I’ve come even if it’s not much.

Such a scared feeling right now I was doing a compulsion and then I don’t know what my thought was but all of a sudden I realized it wasn’t really a thought and I spaced out and then of course now my ocd is telling making like I’m not real or something and now I’m really disassociated and feel like I need to get up and go do my compulsion one more time or my entire day will be off tomorrow.

I’m in ERP for harm ocd which I’ve suffered from for 20+ years. Years of this has convinced me I’m a really bad person and am morally flawed. I’ve been thinking about treatment and ok, so through ERP I become better at dealing with uncertainty, but still bare the scars of years of this internal abuse. And this image of what I think I am. I’m struggling with how do I move forward when feel like a bad person deep down inside?

My OCD from early last year came back, the good news is that it’s not as big as last year but it’s still the same bad feeling but only affecting me one specific thing and not multiple stuff like last year. It’s crazy cause I can’t really remember how I gain control over my ocd last year, I just did.. and I wanna do it again, my only fear is that if I don’t do something to gain control of it, it might start affecting multiple stuff in my head slowly again and I don’t want that.

For some rzn when I find my boyfriend attractive I just get repetitive thoughts like not as attractive as “name” it can be the first person I think of or a random name out of my head or someone else I do find attractive. It’s so annoying I do it without even thinking abt it. It makes me feel so guilty. Bc what if I actually think that like what if I do find someone more attractive then him. It makes me feel so crappy. Anyone else