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I just wish I’d never entertained the first ever intrusive thought I had like maybe I wouldn’t have spiraled so far for so long. it’s always on and off every moment of the day like I’m actually gonna be suffering for the rest of my life

my biggest fear since the pandemic has been getting covid. testing positive, experiencing covid, having to tell loved ones to distance themselves bc i have covid, them getting it bc of me, all of that was a big factor in why i’ve been so careful. i’ve always been really careful when going out. i hardly go out because of that and i only see my bestfriend bc of covid. sure, i’ve gone out to eat, i’ve been shopping, traveled to new york and boston but i’ve never gotten covid because of how careful i am. my family tends to make fun of me because of how careful i am and how many precautions i take before leaving the house. they get irritated when i tell them to put a mask on or wear gloves. my worst fear has happened. i tested positive for covid. i don’t know how, i don’t know from who or where but it’s happened. im feeling really anxious and had an attack when i found out. with everything going on i’ve already felt pretty bad mentally and feeling bad physically has killed me. i’ve been in a series of depressive episodes earlier this month and i’m afraid it’s going to happen after testing positive. i don’t know how to make myself feel better and would really like some tips or just to be comforted :/.

I've been in treatment for about 3.5 months and I have definitely improved. However, I feel like I'm always relapsing... I do exposures for specific thoughts and it definitely helps. Usually my anxiety will go way down and that specific thought will improve. Then I may have a period of a week or so where my intrusive thoughts aren't so bothersome. But they ALWAYS come back. My ocd will latch on to anything at all and Im constantly having new intrusive thoughts. I seem to be stuck in a cycle of improvement and relapse. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Will the intrusive thoughts ever subside??

I feel worse, constantly trying not to engage with the thoughts. I’ve tried erp before and now trying it again but I just feel like crying because the thoughts are still there 😭 I feel like giving up on erp even though I just started .

I feel like I may have been emotional abusive towards my partner. I read an article about emotional abuse and I feel like I fall into some of the categories. I am hyper-critical - always trying to make sure my partner is morally okay, and judging them otherwise (it always feels like a compulsion). I am controlling- always feel an overwhelming need to check what my partner is doing, watching, following- this also feels like a compulsion and makes my partner feel micromanaged. I also invade privacy in the process of checking those things. I am also overtly jealous, I am always on edge and distrust all of my partner’s female friends/get incredibly anxious when they hang out or hug or sit close to each other. This is all so horrible, and I panic about it every once in a while and have tried to work on these behaviors in therapy but the thought that I am abusive is so scary and horrible. These behaviors feel like ocd, and i don’t mean to cause harm, i feel genuine anxiety and an urge to prevent myself from being hurt. But that doesn’t mean it’s not harmful because it truly is. I try to validate my partner feelings and recognize the harm I cause but I don’t know what to do.

It’s just gotten to the point where everyday I’m thinking I’m bad and I’m just taking it as I’m choosing not to be and I’m miserable everyday and don’t enjoy life because I’m plagued with this horrible problem, it so easy to think about these thoughts and I’ve just got it in my head that I like the feeling or doing that horrible thing from imagining it and now I’m just miserable all the time. I don’t enjoy life at all, every time I have those thoughts I get anxiety and start feeling tense but it still can’t shake this feeling of ‘liking the feeling of doing that’ today I had a thought and didn’t feel much reaction, just kind of stopped what I was doing but didn’t feel anxious just kind of blank expression of fed up - but when I have that kind of blank reaction to thoughts I don’t know if I’m actually fed up or I’m taking being fed up and secretly am evil but then after that I went to touch this pillow (the object that stresses me out because my thoughts are around suffocation) and I just started tearing up as soon as I touched it. But I still don’t believe that I don’t want to do that, I’m constantly crying but I’m dead set on believing that it’s true and I’m bad. My mind keeps trying to taunt me creating these scenarios where in the future I’m bad because I’ve now got it in my head that I ‘like the feeling’ and that now makes the ‘urges’ feel worse and reinforces them I don’t understand how I can feel like I like the feeling or something I have 1.never done 2.cry over and stress over constantly but because it feels so real I can’t get Over this. I just miss being able to sit in my home or go wherever I wanted without feeling like I’m a threat and ‘like the feeling or Doing that’ worst problem ever feels like my life is over. Like my head will taunt me with ‘if your alone in the future with an animal and now you’ve got it in your head you ‘like the feeling’ (btw that ‘like the feeling’ also comes with anxiety and the feeling of needing to poop) and along with the urges you would actually act on it, and that thought makes me just feel so hopeless and horrible

For me since I been dealing with intrusive thoughts and also anxiety it’s so intimidating to take on these positions because of how much I need to be contacting people for sales and going on meetings and just overall more responsibilities. I also have a tendency of taking on too much and a tendency to prove myself and others wrong when in reality it’s best if I go at my own pace and do what’s right for me and not lie to myself at the same time. It’s been very tough last couple of weeks for me at work because of the fear and fear of failure and embarrassment along with past experiences that haunt me regarding work.

I just want to love him!!! It’s not fair!! Everytime I talk to him I wanna break up… I can’t tell if ROCD is there anymore… please… I want this urge to go away!!! 😭 What if breaking up is the only way… to know. I don’t wanna break up with him. Did anyone on here 100% believed they lost feelings bc of obsessing? 😢💔

I know for me, the holiday season was really hard when I was in the depths of OCD. I felt I didn't deserve to enjoy it because my thoughts were making me feel like a bad person. All the happiness and "cheer" made it even worse! I never felt like I was in the present moment when I was with family or friends, because the thoughts were so loud. How's everyone feeling after this weekend?

I've read this article multiple times since it was first posted and it always resonates with me. For years, I justified my compulsions because "everyone" else took relationship quizzes and shared concerns with their partner. The problem was my intentions weren't the same as everyone else. My end goal was reassurance and it was an insatiable need caused by OCD. Finally coming to terms with this really helped me to recognize that what I wasn't doing wasn't healthy for me personally, no matter if it was okay for others. What about you? Do this article resonate with you or are there other examples of "helpful advice" that have been harmful on your ROCD journey to recovery?

I was able to go sledding in snow, and I felt like a little kid again (even for a moment)! What's one good thing you did or had happen to you over the past few days?

I constantly feel like crying. I wake up feeling okay but one little thing and my mood is gone for the day again. I am being moody and snappy to my family and I want to feel awful about it but it's almost like I feel too exhausted to care. I just want to be in bed all the time, I don't feel like doing any of the work I have to do. My friends want to meet up in a couple of days and I am going to say I can't make it. I am so tired of it, how can I make it stop?

someone please respond i'm really struggling i'm 15 so me and my friends had a sleepover and we're all in a friend group. and we all slept on a couch that is a U shape, and i slept on the right side. and my guy friend on the left side, and our female friend on the bottom part of the "U" shape couch, and i woke up and the females friend feet was like on my leg, the other guy was awake, but me and the female friend were not. as soon as i realised her feet or leg was on my leg i pulled them away straight away and went to sleep out in the other longue room i struggle with cheating ocd and i'm wondering is this cheating? and do i need to tell my gf that her leg was on mine? obviously everyone was unaware and she didn't mean to put her feet on mine and stuff, but now i'm worried that it's cheating? and i want to tell my girlfriend but i don't know if it's actually a big deal or not. plese can someone answer if this is cheating or if it's a big deal and i need to tell my gf?

Has anyone experienced OCD in relationships that looks like excessive jealousy? I have been traumatized in past relationships and it created horrible thoughts that put me in a really, really bad place in my most recent relationship and I was accusing him of cheating and all kinds of things. I became obsessed and nothing could change my mind I became so stuck on it. It became so concerning and scary. Wondering if anyone had a similar experience at all? :/

can ocd compulsions be violent? cause i have this feeling like i NEED to do it but i’m getting really anxious

Say if it’s actually true? It feels like I know what it feels like to do that and that when I imagined it that I liked the feeling of doing that, it feels so real and I’m scared, I said to my mum what if it’s the case that I’m a good person but I imagined how it would feel to do that horrible thing in the thought and now I like the feeling but have a conscious and she said ‘why would you like the feeling’ and then I just start feeling hopeless and asking myself why does it feel like that?? I’m constantly crying but why does it feel so real that I ‘like the feeling’ of doing that, it’s really scary, I’m miserable 24/7. It’s like before the intrusive thought we’re just horrible images of me doing something bad but now it feels like instead of thoughts it’s a feeling? Like I have this what feels like a millisecond feeling where I have an intrusive feeling of what it would feel like to do that horrible thing? Is that possible? Has anyone else had that? But it’s weird because these thoughts do give me anxiety and when they are trying to come on I get anxiety at the thought of having them and sometimes I pull these faces like scrunch my nose to try and ‘deter’ the thoughts, it does seem to work though because when I do that nose scrunch thing when a thought is trying to come on it helps me to detect the thought and I get alarmed so I don’t engage with it. How can I get anxiety over something but at them same time it really feel like I want to or liked the feeling of doing that? I was talking to my mum and we were saying maybe its not that I liked the feeling of doing that in the thought maybe its that because I imagined giving in to something that’s been bothering me for so long it felt like ‘i liked the feeling of doing that’ but obviously I don’t like it because I’m not a bad person so that’s why I start crying two seconds later but my head starts scaring me like I was trying to forget all about this and I was dancing to music, and the whole time I’m dancing I start having a debate in my head and then my head starts scaring me it’s really latched onto this confused feeling of ‘I liked the feeling of imagining doing that’ and scares me in the middle of dancing, I started thinking ‘things were so much better in the summer’ ‘I wish it was summer’ and then boom ‘imagined a scenario where it’s hot and I’m agitated by the heat and I suddenly do that horrible thing’ like what the hell?? ‘What if it feels like a relief to do that’ and I just stop dancing and start questioning myself and feeling like crap. When I’m feel bad I want to ask my mum for advice but while I’m sat there talking to her I’m worried I’m a danger or I’m having evil desires and it’s just scary. I’m worried what if I’m young now (19) and I’m worried I liked the feeling of imagining doing that evil thing , what if this like the beginning of me turning into one of those evil people who have evil desires, I don’t know what to do im just lost and worried

Is it normal to be having intrusive thoughts about my relationship/partner 24/7? It started about 1 month or so ago there’s been days where it wasn’t so intense and for the past week or so it’s gotten so so bad I have it from the minute I wake up until I fall asleep.They feel so real I’m convinced the thoughts are real now I’m actually going insane and getting suicidal thoughts over it.Idk what to do I’ve no one to talk to about it.

So we are told that OCD is not about figuring out the difference between OCD thoughts and normal thoughts, it's about not knowing the difference and tolerating the uncertainty. WTF is that supposed to mean?!! I mean that needs to be explained thoroughly!!! You can't just throw shit out there and expect people to understand it. I am just really getting fed up with the bits and pieces of information being put out there so OCD sufferers will have to pay for complete answers. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Hello, I'm new here. Just thinking of a quick dump on what my OCD has caused me to do. I'm in a period of lapse, where I had first developed it when I was 12. Being a Muslim means I have a lot of set rules to follow, along with a lot of reminders of what Hell looks like and punishments that are carried out there. The problem with religious OCD, is that ustaz/religious teachers online will provide a lot of solutions further worsening it. As many know, religious beliefs depend greatly on interpretation of the holy book and other religious guides. The increase in people spreading their interpretation which is less lenient and more restrictive pains me. But tbf, I've come a long way. Praying alone used to take me an hour or more, because a single sentence of "Bismillahirahmanirahim" is repeated again and again, had gone up to 10 mins before, because I didn't feel like it's the right pronounciation and that God would reject my solat (prayer) and I'd go to Hell. I'd take ablution until my shirt was wet enough to be wrung because I'd be afraid of missing parts of my skin which would deem my prayer invalid. Now, the OCD has lapsed and it bases mainly around purification and also forgetfulness. A dog passed by me and even though it didn't touch me, I had intense intrusive thoughts that insisted that it had, pushing me to purify my jeans and shoes. Rn, my brain is insisting that I haven't carried out my solat Maghrib (4th prayer of the day) even though I'm trying to convince it that I have because I would never carry out my Isyak prayer (5th prayer of the day) without doing so and I would always feel rushed if I havent performed it. It's scary because even though I know that what my brain is insisting is wrong, the thoughts and compulsions are so loud. And I feel like the fear of burning in Hell and getting punished is enforcing them. This feeling of continuous doubt is hurting me and my spirituality. It's like two opposing forces pushing against me. "If I carry out the compulsions I'm safe but it would also mean I'm caving and getting worse" "If I don't carry out the compulsions there's a possibility I'm wrong and I'll get punished by God" I'm currently an international student studying in the UK so I don't have insurance but I feel the need to start therapy. Living abroad is difficult enough. I want to live a better life than being shrouded by doubt. I'll share tips on how I overcame my experience of a more severe case of religious OCD if you want. It's nice it has a name in mental illness.

Anyone had r word ocd ? Which is wondering if your partner ever r word you and you think of moments and wonder if that was actually r word ? This is so horrible bc I was getting over an episode and then I decided to search up something and now I’m in a spiral again . Basically, last year sometimes my partner would try to stick his thing in my butt knowing I don’t want to do anal and then I would say no and he wouldn’t do it . Like he would kinda stick it in but not all the way if that makes sense What does that mean ? Does that mean that it’s r word ?