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the NOCD Community

Does anyone else ever feel so overwhelmed by indecision they just don’t want to think anything at all? You just start to feel numb?

I know for most medication is a lifesaver. But has anyone found that meds made it worse for them? Who here does it without meds, who here does it with meds and what works for you? I don't think my current med Nortriptyline is helping as much as it should.

My POCD and real events OCD is making me think I’m a P and a Chomo for the extremely horrible real events I did when I was 13… I had no idea what m*lestation or anything like that was when I was 13… I really didn’t… and someone gave an incorrect definition of it… it’s making it feel like I’m certain of it when I dont ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in anyway shape or form… I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭

Looking back, if I could have told myself anything before I started therapy, it would be that I'm not the only one experiencing this. I was so set on the fact that no one could possibly understand, that I refused to try to open up to more than only a handful of people. It can be incredibly scary to take that leap of faith, but when you find that community of people who do understand, it's a wave of relief and hope I didn't know was out there. I wouldn't change a thing, but if I could have told myself anything, it would be to hang in there! I'm not alone, thanks to you all. For those that are in therapy, in recovery, etc. - looking back, what is something you would tell yourself if you could?

Im in a relationship for 4 years, but i had been in contact with my ex a few times. WORSE DECISION, after confessing i developed ocd. Different themes, i literally quit my previous job because i believed that i was going to fall in love with just anyone from there, female, male, kid etc. It was very difficult, but that theme is not loud anymore. I noticed how my ocd attached to the mistakes i made, and now is torturing me by reminding me every day with hard evidence i dont love my partner, or love songs remind me of my ex. Almost as if i see him everywhere, there are days that my bf says something and my mind tells me oh it sounds like your ex, or if i see my ex in him, its so weird, next year we planned a trip, same country/neighborhood where i met my ex, i feel like going back to where i met him might trigger my anxiety. How do i get rid of these ex thoughts, i dont want to be with my ex. I just want to erase these thoughts and everything is annoying me

I’ve been having panic attacks daily this week, and don’t even want to ask my fiancé for support now because I still feel like my OCD, intrusive thoughts, etc are all indicative that I’m a bad person that doesn’t deserve sympathy, or help.

i’m not sure if this is an OCD symptom but sometimes i’ll feel like someone’s watching me and feel the need to cover certain things or recover things. for example, whenever i use the restroom i’ll turn off my phone and leave it in my room or turn it off and keep it with me if i’m in a public place. or sometimes i’ll think someone i like is watching me and i’ll do something different like “oh if they’re watching me, let me do this instead just in case.” does anyone else do this?

My mother killed herself today. I'm so sad. So sad. My mom. My sweet woman. Beautiful woman. Why didn't you let me help you more. I miss you. I miss you. I love you. Mama, te amo. Mama, come back please. I want to feel your arms again. Your hugs. Mama... I wanted to be your daughter for more time. I cannot be without you. Mama. I'm crying a lot. You told me not to do it in your letter. Mama. Mama. Mama.

Why do I sometimes think my intrusive thoughts on purpose? Does anyone else do this?

Does anyone have health anxiety fears around heart attacks, strokes, seizures, etc. basically fear of passing out or dying suddenly? Do you get physical symptoms such as headaches, chest pains m, lightheadedness etc? What has helped you?

I'm fighting against my ocd. Sometimes I can control my obsesions and other times is an impossible task. The compulsions are easier but when it is about mental compulsions or obsessions is very difficult. Can anyone share his thoughts with me?

How do I reduce my stress levels? My therapist told me I need to ‘heal my inner self’ and start to love myself again and start living instead of thinking about others. Care more for myself. But how do I gain confidence and start loving myself?

How do you deal with it? Any tips and tricks?

Anybody think they have this? False memories? Or stuff they think they might have done in the past but don’t remember?

That’s it. I can’t afford therapy. I’m not gonna burden the few loved ones I have with the insanity that is my mental case. I know people will freak out, wanna put me in the mental hospital. I’ve heard it all people calling me insane because I tell the truth about what’s going on with me. I do these random things online to strangers because it’s easier to confess to faceless people but strangers can’t do much can they? Most the time nobody reads anything and a lot of the time I don’t even really want them to. I just feel so alone. My girlfriend doesn’t talk to me anymore and my sister is still a minor I’m not gonna tell her shit. Maybe I should be in the mental hospital but that shit doesn’t help it never has.

What’s the best way to explain accepting uncertainty? Does anyone have a simple explanation

How do I get over an ex that I was with for a whole year?

I’m having guilt about my pocd :( which I’m not sure if it even is

Please help. Does anyone here feel bad after watching pornography/masturbation? I'm always convinced I've done something unforgivable after such a session. I don't mean that I feel bad from the watching or masturbation itself, but moreso from the details - I'm always convinced I enjoyed the wrong sort of video, or thought the wrong sort of thought, or masturbated to something immoral, etc. I don't know how much of this is my OCD, but I always feel so terrified and guilty that I think about suicide. Right now professional treatment isn't an option, so what do I do? I know that my experience fits the description of OCD (there's confession, reassurance seeking, mental review, rumination, etc) but also resembles addiction (because I have a very hard time stopping porn and masturbation); and I've read that addiction can lead a person to do bad things. I'm worried that if I treat this problem as OCD when it's not, I'll do bad things; if I treat this problem as an addiction (and/or as me being evil) when that's not the true problem, my OCD/condition will only get worse; and if I treat this problem as both OCD and an addiction or me being evil, I'll end up doing contradictory treatment and won't get better at all. What's your advice? As I said, professional treatment isn't an option right now.

I keep thinking that I want to act on these violent thoughts I am having. I want the thoughts to go away which makes me think I don’t want to act on them but my ocd is telling me that I want to and I am even having urges to act on them. I am nervous that it is only a matter of time before something bad happens. The thoughts are directed towards my family who I love so much and I just am scared