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Has anyone with hocd who has recovered realized their thoughts were true? And that they weren't straight?

So I’ve been doing erp since the summer, and while things are a lot better, I still struggle with certain aspects/types of ocd. With this, I currently got an increased prescribed dose and are instituting more planned exposures. I had a chance to do a good exposure today but didn’t do it because I was so afraid. One of my first ocd themes before I was diagnosed with religious/scrupulosity ocd, which has led me to avoid most things religion-related and am terrified of the intrusive thoughts that come with going to church. Since all of my siblings and I are home for thanksgiving, my parents wanted to go to church this morning, but I was so so so scared. The exposures I’ve been doing have been putting a Bible on my desk, opening the Bible, playing an iocdf religious video, etc., which while they are small, really freak me out still but are getting better. But getting dressed and going to the church from high school? Irrationally it seemed like a lot and I really didn’t want to go. When it was time to leave, I said that I wouldn’t go if that was ok, and my mother said that she was really disappointed but I could make my own choices. When they get home, she asked why I wouldn’t go (she knows I have ocd) and I didn’t want to go into this whole conversation infront if everyone about my religious intrusive thoughts, so I said that I was just tired and wanted to do some work, and when she asked if there was anything else, I said that church sometimes made me anxious so it was hard to go to sometimes. She then said that she doesn’t ask for a lot of us (which she doesn’t, she’s a fantastic mother), and the one time she wanted me to do something was for us all to go to church. She was hurt that I couldn’t get over whatever my problems were with church to do something for her that was important. And I feel absolutely horrible. I hate that this hurt her so much, and even though I understand myself why I was so afraid, that doesn’t excuse using mental health as an excuse for hurting people. But the worst part is that I would do it again, I’m so selfishly afraid to go that I would do it again. And I wasn’t as honest as I should have been because I was afraid if the conversation. So I’m trying to apologize (not go into the detail of my thoughts, but say that that’s something that really distressed me at the moment, and it’s ok if she doesn’t understand, but if she could accept that I’m working on it one step at a time. And specify that this wasn’t a sign that I didn’t love or respect or wouldn’t do things for her, just that I wasn’t ready for this step right now). But I also don’t know whether to do it in person tonight (likely have a kind back and forth, possible be pressured to share the content of my thoughts, possible put a damper on the rest of the night) or write it in a note to leave when I return back to school. Do y’all think one is better than the other? Not sure exactly why I’m posting this, I’m just feeling alone and horrible since idk if people quite understand how afraid I am, but I also hurt someone and want to make it right to what extent I can.

I have been in a miserable mood for 3 days in a row I can’t feel fine because all my thoughts believe that god want me to convert my religion and although I am very convinced by it and I studied it by heart and whenever i look up smth I believe in it more my inner voice keep telling me no that’s not what god want see you are praying to someone else and my mind focus on signs against my will while there are other signs that comes along with what i want and interpret what I want as if it is from the devil and I feel I can’t trust myself bec it feels liks i ak dispbeying god anyone can help?

Is it possible to recover from homosexual OCD? All of sudden it seems like I am attracted by women. This gives me an enormous sense of sadness, disgusting and terrible feelings. At the same time, it seems like I could actually be lesbian for real and I should accept myself for who I am. However, I don’t like the fact that rather than a pleasure, it’s an obsession and the idea of being lesbian makes me feel sick and depressed. It’s been like this for three months now. Prior to this I had suffered with eating disorders and memory OCD ( I was obsessed with my memory) .. I am seriously concerned that all this will impact my intimacy life and I won’t be able to have a stable relationship. I feel hopeless and discouraged.

I don’t think I have ROCD anymore.. I believe I have fallen out of love with my partner… 💔 I still do compulsions and try to test myself but it doesn’t work anymore. I think about my happy moments and cry bc I want that to be the true me… I am just at this point convinced I don’t love him the same way anymore.. that ROCD just tricked me… I don’t feel numb but I am unhappy.. I cry randomly but not as much. I just… believe in am with him to avoid hurting him.. I’m just worried I don’t wanna admit it.. 😞 Can ROCD do this? Or can a relationship be saved even if I fell out of love!? I just know I am mentally exhausted. I even wanted to say I love you to him but didn’t bc of how bad this is… felt that I had no right…

Every night when I’m in bed every single type of intrusive thought that I usually have during the day comes at once and switches to another distressing thought, one after another. My main fear right now is about the afterlife and if it exists or doesn’t and just death in general. These thoughts keep me up all night, how do I find sleep. What should I think of to help me feel more relaxed?

Please only read if you're an adult. About a year or so ago my husband tried to get me in the mood before being intimate and I couldn't get in the mood. After a while I ended up getting a quick pocd thought and then I felt something down there. And I remember thinking omg what does that mean. So I let him continue and I tried to see if the feeling would stop, but then as I was focusing I got more in the mood and reminded myself I was with my husband. But how did I go from not being in the mood at all to then feeling something down there with the pocd thought? Then I even obsess over if I wasn't attracted to him that night too because I remember saying I didn't want to kiss at all. I hate this so much.

My question is for those that have dealt with OCD for quite some time. I am in my mid 20s and some days are better whilst others are so debilitating that all I can do is curl up in a corner to escape everything. Does it ever actually get better? How do therapists with OCD deal with and cope with it if it doesn’t actually get better?

How do you guys get past the physical symptoms that the anxiety brings on? Every day I have them and it’s beyond triggering for me. I get a lot of chest pain and I’m constantly thinking I’m having a heart attack and going to die. I have had it checked out in the past and it always leads back to my anxiety but i feel like I can’t take it anymore. If it’s not a heart attack I’m fearing, it’s cancer or another terminal illness. Every. Single. Day. 😭

Hello everyone, my name is Chloe and I struggle with Trichotillomania as you have seen from the title... I am 15 years old and have been struggling with Trichotillomania since I was 7. So I started pulling my eyebrows and eyelashes out in first grade. In 7th Grade I started pulling my hair out of my head and have stopped pulling my eyelashes and eyebrows. I have seen therapist's and doctors to help me with my case but nothing seems to work... It's getting to the point where its really bad and I am basically Bald on top of my head.. I can't stop no matter how hard I try. I wear a hat and Hoodie to school to hide it from students, teachers and my friends. Before I arrived in High school I didn't wear a hat and some people thought I had cancer and some even made fun off me. I just want to be normal again and not have to live a life where I'm continently doubting myself and having anxiety and depression. Can anyone help me?.....

Did anyones false memories start off as a realization “flashback” Like and image and then it slowly started to create more the more you started to ruminate and obsess about it?

When I hear my friends talking about “pulling a lot of girls” I get sad because as someone whose… a virgin… I’ve never really had a woman my age and above whose attracted to me for me… and no girl my age and above actually want to be with me…

What does recovery feel like?

Can someone explain the difference between: - Ruminating vs “acknowledging and feeling the thoughts but letting them pass through you but still not pushing them away” And, “Bad” distraction vs. “good” distraction vs. “avoidance?” I’m confused on the proper way to respond /react to thoughts/feelings (anxiety and guilt) for a specific theme.

I was obsessing over the feeling of love, whether I knew what it truly was or not. All my life I had only ever seen toxicity. I never really knew what it looked like to be in a healthy relationship. So I was constantly on the watch for the smallest of red flags. Fine tooth comb in hand and picking apart every piece of my relationship. I couldn’t help it, it wasn’t his fault. He was the kindest most true and genuine person I knew. so why did I question my love. Why did I question if I knew what it was. I knew him. I loved him. But why did something in me feel empty, like there was no space in the box that I checked off as love. It was there before, for years and years, and I never questioned it. Until the illness came in like a hot iron pressed against my skin, branding me sick, and twisted inside. I wanted to love without question, with no effort, with ease like I had for so many weeks, months and years before the lighting that is ocd struck me in the chest. Why did I need such certainty? Why did I panic at the thought of not being in love? Love is love. Love is a choice. Love isn’t always a feeling. That’s what has been said to me. But for so many years I was so sure of it. I felt such immense guilt that I questioned such a strong foundation that we had built together. The words Co dependent, and comfortable, floated through my head like a heavy stone sinking to the bottom of my mind. I was tangled up in the rope of the words that came out of my step mothers mouth. I didn’t want these words. Why were they so deeply trained into my head from the moment they bounced of her lips. They ricocheted around my mind for hours that day; “co dependent” “comfortable”. I love him, I said to myself as my chest began to quake with the need to cry. Why is this fear so real, why can’t I stop questioning it. I’m Ill. Or maybe I’m not. It’s ocd. Or maybe it’s not. The first long relationship I’ve had in my life. Five full years of memories, cherished laughter and tears of joy. Hard times and good times, milestones we’ve crossed hand in hand, side by side. Together we never had to face this new journey of adulthood alone. I felt safe with him, like I was never going to be by myself in a world that was so unkind. I hated the ocd, I hated the doubt, I hated the fear. I didn’t want any of it. I practiced telling myself, maybe I don’t love him. Maybe I don’t love him. Maybe I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. Over and over and over. Could it be the reason that something within me didn’t feel right? Could it be the reason I felt anxiety? Or was it truly the illness that Is called my ocd. I hate that it attacks my self confidence, my comfort, my safety, my relationship with the person who is both my best friend and lover built into one. Sure I could do my life with someone else but I don’t want that. Sure I could live by myself for awhile and see what it’s like to be a girl venturing in the world. But I would miss out on the life I’m building now. I want these obsessions and compulsions to go. I love him. But my ocd says I don’t. I hate it.

I haven’t showered in three months. I haven’t eaten or drink anything in the past three days. I don’t left my room. Just to go to the bathroom, and every time I contaminated. The same way I have contaminated everything in my room. My psychologist abandoned me. My psychiatrist won’t see me until the next month. I stop taking my medication. They just didn’t help. I just gotten worse while taking them.

What was your first signs of ocd as a child. I think mine was confessing but I haven’t heard of many other people with that ..

My newest fear is having a stroke. And I’m so scared about it. Im a 20 year old female who is not really skinny by any means. Like yes i am overweight but I’m not really “unhealthy”. Like I’m not to active besides going to work but i also don’t eat a bunch of junk food or any fast food. And when i looked up stroke it said that it is more common in women and it kills more women than men. I’m seriously freaking out. And the leading cause of strokes is high blood pressure and high cholesterol. And i know that my blood pressure isn’t particularly the lowest and now I’m so scared. The only thing keeping me somewhat okay right now is it says that drinking water can diminish chances of a stoke by 50%. And i like to think that i drink a lot of water so that makes me feel okay but i am still so scared. And i know that I’m supposed to sit with uncertainty and say maybe i will have a stroke but it’s way to scary 😭😭

Yesterday I was with family and celebrating thanksgiving and then with my bf and somehow the ruminating stopped and then this morning On my way to work it started all over again… the drive in took my peace away and reverted to my Hit and Run OCD thoughts from Tuesday and I’ve literally been checking news outlets looked over my car a handful of times and no proof of harming anyone and like my mind is making a story at this point that doesn’t exist and I just wanna stop thinking I hurt/killer someone it’s so distressing and I’m trying not to give into compulsions but it’s like I’m catastrophicizing this thought and I think my life is over and I’m gonna go to jail when I know nothing happened…. All because I looked down to change the radio… I don’t know what is wrong with me

Big trigger warning!!! I know everyone with OCD thinks they’re the exception, but I haven’t really found any stories I can relate to… hopefully someone can understand my situation. I’ve come to realize that maybe my thoughts are still obsessive and compulsive in nature, even though I’m not actually sure if I’m in the right relationship. But maybe that’s the OCD talking. I am in a homosexual relationship and have been for the past 7 years. I used to wonder if I was bisexual growing up, and still question if I am, or maybe if I’m not bisexual enough to be in a gay relationship. This is because I have obsessions related to my sexual orientation.. I “test” my feelings for other women and sometimes try to have crushes so I feel like I am capable of being in a homosexual relationship. But the crushes feel fake and forced and sometimes even accompanied by panic and identity crisis because I don’t want to be gay. It’s really hard in my situation because I know I like guys but does that mean I need to break up with my partner? I’m starting to wonder if maybe the issue is that I subconsciously view only monosexuality to be valid, and that it’s not possible to truly be bisexual. I get dreams sometimes where I kiss a guy, or do sexual stuff, or even fall in love and I like these dreams and they feel so natural. But I wake up in a complete panic because I feel like I need to leave my partner. Like I’m lying to her and we can’t be together. Also I get into periods when friends talk about their boyfriends and I feel so sad and depressed because I know if I never leave my partner I will never experience what it’s like to have a boyfriend, but also not wanting to end my relationship. Is this a bisexual thing? It’s sucks. I’m scared that if I leave my relationship I will realize that men are not all that I built them up to be in my head. But I’m also sad at the idea of never knowing what a straight relationship is like. Something just pulls me towards men, like I want their attention. But I’m not even sure if that’s because of my sexuality.. or if I just want their attention for some reason. It’s just really confusing because I’m in a gay relationship and I have HOCD.. I have pretty much constant doubts about the relationship, pick apart her characteristics, question my identity, get really sad and lonely sometimes, I do want to be intimate with her but not very often. I’m pretty sure it’s still OCD but the situation makes it even more confusing. I try to avoid men, try to not look attractive in front of them, because I worry about having feelings for them that I cannot control which would send me into thought spirals and panic because then I would worry about having to break up with my partner. Do you think ERP could help me? Or does this not sound like OCD? I was diagnosed with OCD 7.5 years ago but it was a different theme then and it’s hard to tell if what I’m going through is really ROCD cause the stories I hear from others are so different than mine.