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Anyone else on here struggle with religious based ocd? Just wanting to see what some other people who deal w it experience. It’s been really hard and flaring up recently. Would love to connect with others that deal with this :(

It’s so exhausting dealing with religious ocd after leaving the church. I have religious trauma and I keep looking for books or any resources that would fit me. Every religious trauma and religious OCD resource I find is for people still currently in the church. It feels so isolating and I feel like I’m crazy for having both.

i’m so caught up in figuring out my obsessions because i don’t want them to come true. i have been obsessing over the devil and whether or not he can possess or control me and it won’t go away. i don’t know what to do. i’m so tired all the time and i don’t feel like myself anymore. i can’t keep up with my schoolwork and can barely take care of myself. i’m also in college so it’s hard being on my own.

Is anyone going through something like me ? I have false memory intrusive thoughts , thinking of the possibility of having committed a crime and no remember about it And also have religious ocd thinking that God is angry at me for some reason , and that's why I'm not able to pray, like i used to... I'm so sad because he is so important to me and I would feel such big connection to the Lord when I would pray, and right now I'm afraid ...

Hey everyone, I'm facing a challenging situation where my dreams of studying medicine abroad are unraveling due to the relentless grip of 3 years of suffering with OCD, specifically centered around philosophical and existential questions. I've always wanted to practice medicine and I've gone through absolute hell to get there and now that I'm here due to the nature of these repetitive intrusive thoughts that take up most of my day I end up failing classes and retaking semesters and the idea of dropping out because of this is like spitting in the face of my parents as they have worked so hard to get me to where I am as they are immigrants to the country there is an extra expectation for me to excel. To complicate matters, my deeply religious parents are unaware that I no longer believe in a deity. When I shared my doubts with them, they reacted strongly, intensifying the pressure I feel. In an attempt to quell intrusive thoughts, I've developed compulsive habits that may be making things worse. I find myself extensively writing about arguments against theism, engaging in live debates, debating people in comment sections, and mentally rehearsing arguments whenever religious topics arise. I even contemplate sharing a massive journal explaining why I no longer believe with my religious parents. These habits, while momentarily comforting, contribute to a strong sense of depersonalization and paralysing dread everyday especially when I wake up. These intrusive thoughts and constant replaying of arguments in my head are affecting every aspect of my life, from my academic pursuits to my relationships and mental well-being. I'm currently studying medicine abroad, and the pressure to excel is immense, but the OCD is taking a toll on my academic performance. Financial constraints make it difficult to seek therapy, and I feel trapped between the fear of being true to myself and the potential fallout from coming out to my parents due to the confessional nature of my OCD. I'm seeking advice on whether unfollowing said debate pages and stopping completely in these compulsive behaviors are engaging in avoiding the problem or if there are healthier ways to cope. Has anyone faced similar challenges and found effective strategies to break free from these cycles? Here are some of the things I worry about / do. - Persistent worry about OCD negatively impacting life - Concerns about ongoing depersonalization - Urgency to confess for reassurance - Fear of disownment over personal beliefs - Constant review of arguments due to anxiety - Maintaining a facade to keep peace - Lifelong pretense, walking on eggshells with parents - Anxiety about financial support for studies - Struggling with imposter syndrome - Difficulty maintaining stable relationships - Compulsively watching debates on religion - Desire to confess non-belief despite consequences - Anxiety over academic performance decline - Overwhelming family expectations - Doubts about enjoying my degree . - Fears of not surviving mental anguish - Ruminating on irrelevant thoughts, lacking presence - Morning anxiety like PTSD flashbacks due to OCD - Constantly jotting down thoughts for certainty - Feeling trapped in a repetitive daily loop - Perceived threat from people, feeling internally flawed - Yearning for life before current struggles - Increased argumentativeness to fuel compulsive behaviors. Any insights or recommendations would be immensely valuable. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

So I’m praying for something to happen and I keep praying it. Do any of you feel that God said no to your prayer even though it only came as a form as an OCD thought and it wasn’t actually him? And does it give you anxiety and stress? I speak to a pastor about this and he says that it’s just me and it’s not him

I deal with fear of death now and in this pain i noticed, suicidal ocd is there too. Christians just say dont be afraid of death cause im heaven everything will be better, you will be with Jesus, and they say dont be afraid of leaving your loved ones cause God will take care of them... When i dealt with suicidal ocd, what made me feel good was that i knew i will not do it cause i love me family and i dont want them to suffer, and i developed more respect for this life so when i hear "In heaven everything will be better" triggers me with fear and anger. Cause when i dealt with suicidal ocd, it gave me thoughts like "do it cause you will go to heaven, you will escape from the pain, you will be with Jesus, He will forgive you"... the last part got triggered in me when i heard that suicide is not an unforgivable sin, so you might go to heaven, so thats like you choose the easy way out and you still go to heaven... then the one thing that helped me was that im not in danger cause i wont do it cause i love my family and they wouldnt be able to go through that(this is still suicidal ocd, just saying i didnt planned or something) and then i read to lose the fear of death, and leaving your family with pain you have to know that God will be there with them, bumm this hit me again, so now this contradicts it, in one they say dont do it cause its painful to your family, and the other side they say dont be afraid of death cause God is with your family... everytime i try to work on my fear of death and suffering, my fear of suicide grows... Im afraid that when i will be in so much pain, i will get hit by these thoughts that in heaven we wont suffer, do it cause you will get there, God will protect your family from pain"... i just cant lose these fear, at this moment im dealing with the fear of suffering and death... fear of pain and everything horrible but the things i find on the net that should help me grows suicidal ocd... this is a reaccuring cycle

I was able to see behind the emotions and i remember that my problem started when i felt like i question God's trust. I noticed it too when everytime i had to sing a christian music where "trusting in God" was mentioned, i felt like i dont actually fully trust in Him, and i felt guilt that im not an actual christian, it went to a huge guilt and then everytime i heard about trust i felt anger. Ofcourse trying at first to see whats the problem wasnt effective, cause i thought theres a deeper problem, for me alot of times seeing the problem deeply just makes things worse cause i feel like i just follow the emotions, like seeing the deeper real problem just makes me lost and then depressed or i panic more and more cause i get lost in the rabbit hole... But now i was able to kinda see where it started. And i saw that when things get really bad, and i dont mean a little mistake, no, i mean illness, pain, suffering and all that, i get lost in it and then i feel like the things i have in my mind like "trust the Lord, He is trustworthy, He will help you" it doesn't really match with the reality im in. And then i have thoughts of questioning God, idk if these are really me or ocd but i dont like them, but at the same time i do feel like the two things doesnt really match. I read about this alot, what to do when it seems like God wont help you, but i dont like the answers, i think people just made these up to not suffer... some say accept that its for the greater good or its God's will, and it hurts me the most but can't accept that my death or the death of someone else in my family would help someone that i dont even know... If God is really love i dont think He would ever do that to any of His children... Imagine parents who leaves one of their child home alone just to take the other one somewhere cause "its best for the greater good". Of course the child will feel hurt and angry at the parents. Idk i have this in me that okay you can use my suffering to help others if it makes me stronger and i can help others. But to suffer and die, it doesnt makes me stronger, and it hurts my family too, and i want to live, i have many plans for my life. So if it would be taken away i would be sad and angry... This also makes me feel bad about myself cause then i remember that my life is not mine and im afraid that im rebelling against God, but i do not like this christian view that you have to throw away your life, you have to give it to God, its not yours, every bad thing that happen its because God allowed it for a greater good and you have to accept it cause this life is a test and in heaven you will be rewarded if you go through this... idk if you feel the same but this makes you not even try in this life. Like whatever... im focused on heaven... you can see this everywhere on the christian social medias. I dont like it, i think the "Give it to God" like do not worry so much about your things cause worry makes you not be aware and able to deal with the problem. Just accepting that im dying cause got thinks its best for others makes me depressed and more angry... i still dont know why He still allows suffering, like when its bc of sin its normal, but many times suffering can even come without sin, you can do everything good and it still comes... It really hurts me to think that i dont trust God, and it makes me feem guilt and depressed... i want to see it as an ocd problem but everytime a great suffering comes i just feel like what i learned about God doesnt match with the reality... I always want to learn more and more and be greater than i am today, but people scare me when they say this is what satan wanted too... I get lost in this and then i dont see whats the real problem, and i dont want to accept that i dont trust in God. When i try to work with this i always feel that its not possible, we are humans and we will always feel that we cant trust God, and im afraid i will never be able to go through this...

So today while I was talking to myself, sometimes I do this, my mind said something like to ask for a sign from God and I didn’t mean to ask it or even wanting to ask it. I was talking to myself about something that happened a few months back for when I asked God, my grandmother who’s my guardian angel, and St Therese to help me get over the hunch of scrupulosity and OCD (I’m Catholic). They then gave me a sign in Church to let them know that they heard me and I felt peace, love and excitement then. I have been dealing with something lately that I asked them then to send me a sign if something didn’t happen or occurred, even though I couldn’t picture myself saying that. If anything I would have said the exact opposite to prove what happened or occurred, not to show me a sign if something beautiful didn’t happen. Yet the feeling felt so strong as if I did say that and it kept replaying in my mind over and over again. Going back to in the moment, It just went to my mind and blurted to my mouth about asking a sign from God even though I didn’t mean for it or intended it. I then got a thought thinking that I saw something later this morning thinking that God sent me a sign about something. Well, later this morning while looking at my daily Bible app, I saw something and my mind and feelings said that God sent me that sign. Now I’m flooded with anxiety because I was getting these thoughts before and now they like manifested into reality. It’s like as if God planted those thoughts in my head to tell me what’s coming and what will happen. I’m so angry, anxious and sad. I’m scared now that what I didn’t say is actually something that I said. It’s like God is constantly trying to tell me something and he’s keeping on telling me as if he’s playing a game with me and he won’t do it until I give up and give in. I don’t know what to do. I felt very depressed last night because last night because I couldn’t take this anymore as if God is telling me these things or he revealed me to something. Is this God or OCD that’s doing all this to me? I know it’s a lot but I just need feedback from you guys

I broke up with my boyfriend and I’m not sure if it’s because I needed to or if OCD pushed me to it. I have Scrupulosity and ROCD. We had a conversation about how we viewed the Bible and Jesus. I’m not sure if there’s a miscommunication but he made it sound that the Bible was secondary to our Spirit and that Jesus is pedestaled to much and we should be more like him instead. It scared me that the foundation of our belief is unequally yoked and I broke up with him. I woke up this morning and feel terrible. I don’t want to leave him but I also want to make sure I’m following God’s Will. We’ve been dating/talking for four months.

I’m going through the worst ocd flare up , I can’t stop crying and feel like I’m the worst person in the world and that no one understands how it makes me feel and how I feel so alone and that I’m a horrible person. Why do I feel like everything I’ve done makes me the worst unlovable person. Why is it when I pray I’m still so sad and nothing get fixed so I can be happy. I just want to be happy and at peace and stop having these intense overpowering thoughts. I know they say it’s best to sit with the thought until it passes instead of trying to direct my self but it just won’t go away and I’m trying hard to let it pass but something will always remind me of it and bring me right back to square one. I’m just so miserable that this is my life and thought process every single day😪

I have spent about 6 hours today trying to figure out the answers to a couple questions. And I feel like I will lose my salvation if I don’t get the answers right. At this point, I am just going in circles in my mind.

Can OCD go into remission for a few years, and then come back years later? I feel like this is what happened to me. Around the ages of 14 to 16, I was fine, for the most part. Disassociated but fine, because although my dad's health has been declining slowly, I was still able to function/think clear/etc. The remission lasted until I was 21 and hit me like a train from then on. I have my good and bad days with OCD, but it's there again. Sometimes it reminds me of how it used to be, when it FIRST started; I was 11 or 12. Those REALLY bad days are few and far between. I basically describe myself as "simmering in anxiety" no matter what location I'm in or what I'm doing. The only thing that helps me is church or being around my church family as much as I can.

Hey, guys. So, I feel like a lot of my scrupulosity ocd is emotions/feelings. Like, I get these impressions and feelings of being evil. I really feel like I am whatever I’m afraid of being in that moment. And I’m really confused by this, since ocd is about thoughts, right? Is that how it is for you guys too?

Hello guys i have religious Ocd almost 3 months now, could you guys give me some advice on how to deal with this? Its so distressing that i feel everytime i could possibly blaspheme Jesus. It really feels like im trying to think or recall a specific blasphemous thought intentionally.

This passed December I was diagnosed with severe OCD and it hit me like a whirlwind after watching a movie and then thinking that everything isn’t real and that I am in a simulation like the “don’t worry darling” movie. This was very distressing to me because I was a person who read her bible everyday and every night and then would talk to God through prayer a lot and when this happened it was very difficult for me to pray or open my bible because I thought nothing was real and I made up God in my mind or the person controlling me did to make me think this is real. Shortly after that happened I started having harm thoughts of “oh well if this is isn’t real you could harm someone and then wake up or you would realize if it was or wasn’t real?” like in the “don’t worry darling movie” “Or I am going to have to harm myself to find out or being in Heaven would be way better?” Which ultimately led to crying spells everyday feeling like I was going crazy. I then went to the hospital and got diagnosed and am going through ERP/ACT therapy currently but those thoughts are still very active. And even though my thoughts are active and seem very real I know that there is power in prayer no matter what my thoughts are thinking, so please pray for me to get through this and heal. It’s very hard to see a light. Thank you for reading this and hearing me.

Does anyone know of a church that is familiar with OCD? I am located in the US, Florida to be exact but I wasn’t sure if there were some that offered online if not local. I would really like to find a pastor who understands ocd. Any suggestions? It’s hard to listen to sermons about hearing God and other things when I hear from all kinds of competing voices in my head. If nothing else, I could use some prayers. In a spiral about whether the voice (internal) is as God or oCd as it relates to a huge job change and my family by extension

Please pray for me to be happy

I have been atheist for about a little over a year now, i was raised catholic for the first couple years of my life and then then both my parents decided to become christians and my father took my siblings and I to a church that my uncle was the pastor of and i endured some religious trauma as the church exhibited many cult like behaviors; claiming to make a woman’s leg grow on stage and the whole congregation going along with it, another instance when many adults from the congregation (my father included) gathered around the front of the stage and began speaking in tongues and crying and laying on the floor, etc. We were going to this church multiple times a day usually 2-3 my uncle would tell us “god never took a day off so neither can we” and i remember my father telling one of my brothers about spontaneous combustion and i was so afraid that would happen to me. So fast forward to present day i don’t go to church and haven’t been in 4-5 years and completely abandoned religion a year ago but i still feel like god is listening to my thoughts and i will go to hell for my intrusive thoughts when i was younger i used to compulsively pray i don’t pray at all anymore but i still feel like he can hear my thoughts or deceased relatives can hear my thoughts and maybe they think something is deeply disturbed with me??? I don’t believe in a god anymore why does this still happen am I delusional??? I wish i didn’t feel like someone was listening to my thoughts you know?

Brothers and sisters, God's Grace is abundant in our lives everyday, but often times we choose to ignore it because of fear and anxiety, how many lies do we have to "obey" to please ocd? To erase the anxiety? Compulsions have not worked they only have led us to more anxiety and fear. God's Grace allows us to ignore the lies and resist compulsions as a way of trusting Jesus Who Is the Truth. God gives us His Grace when we ask for it but just as with anything God gives, its up to us to accept it or ignore it. Lets ignore fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, silly ocd rules and lets trust God's Grace and Word. Lets ask God for help to accept His Grace, lets take a leap and trust our Father Who loves us and never lies! God knows our struggle and wants us to be healed, but brothers and sisters our healing will only come from trusting Him. It is not easy, it is not pleasant at times but its our Loving Father who holds our hands.