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Does anyone else have that one ex they just can’t get over? I’ve been recently feeling super lonely these past few days especially during the holidays and I just can’t help but be reminded of all the goods things that I’ll never seem to get back with that one person over a year ago.

I read these stories and they tend to be about younger men and older women, however some of them trigger me cause they imply the character is much younger. I always try and see if I can justify a way it isn’t that, but then I see it’s just gross and I stop reading it. But I keep doing this cycle. I feel like I’m just denying I’m a creep. And if I am one, I need to tell my partner so they know I’m a bad person. Please help.

I am having a really hard day. I am so overwhelmed about so many things. I lost an earring and can’t find it. It is stuck on my mind. About a month ago my boyfriend broke up with me and the weekends are so hard. That was my first relationship and I miss him dearly. I have no friends to support me and my Mom is tried of me being sad. I also have a math exam Tuesday and need to review a ton. It feels like I have so much to do and so little time. I just want to hangout with a friend/ my ex boyfriend. I feel very depressed and anxious.

Has anyone ever dealt with relationship ocd and feeling guilty for not sharing every thought and feeling with your spouse that feels it was unfaithful? Mine is stemming back to an old memory of when we were just dating and had broken up. A friend of my sisters was childishly flirting with me and I felt like I secretly liked the attention. Kept thinking what if something else had happened and what if he did stay at my house one night but he never did. It just makes me feel extreme guilty for even thinking and feeling these things of even being partial to that idea at that time I was broken up and going through that small rough area. I feel like I am keeping something from my husband since I never told him this. I just wish I could move on from this. I don’t know why I feel like everything in my life needs to be known to him. Why do I feel so guilty. I hate it!

Have a date next week with a girl I met off of tinder. She seems really sweet and I could see it developing into something more. I just feel like every time I know someone’s attracted to me I can’t help but wonder if I’m actually attracted to them or if I’m just faking it because I like to be loved. Like spiral-licious amounts. It seems like every time I have a new romantic interest this is the pattern: surface level interest, get to know them more, pro and con list #1, am I attracted to them REALLY or am I just a narcissist in disguise and will break their heart by bread crumbing them while trying to figure out if attracted and then ultimately leaving, pro and con list #2, hang in there, THEN LIMERANCE!!! Does anyone else feel this way? Any tips or insights?

I got supper triggered righ now because I was talking to my fiance about SOOCD and wht it feels like it is or it not and at one point I felt like all the signs were pointing towards the fact that im just in denial since 15 years and I got anxious and just wanted to leave/stop everything (aka the relationship) and I felt kind of relieved at the thought of that and the spiral started all over again like “ if you’re relieved that means that you want to leave him and be with a women”. We were talking about romantic attraction and physical attraction and I was saying how sometimes when I look at him I dont have the desire to touch him but if I see a picture of a naked women or just an underboob I just feel something strong down there… he told me even if its the case we’re been together for 8 years and I would know if you were truly faking it… and my thoughts are like “would he?” “Maybe im just a great actress and I’ll snap one day soon” . Idk if anyone relates!

If my partner is remotely unattractive to me, it just causes me to ruminate so much. I wish it would calm down. It's hard to know if this is a valid attraction issue or not. I hate to use OCD as a crutch but I feel like both could be true. Which is tough

I have a love hate relationship with social media bc men are reaching out to me and flirting and I can never tell what’s j friendly and what’s flirting but I technically have a bf and a man im in love with that’s my baby and I love him so much and I feel so guilty for the fact that they are even reaching out and I’m enjoying the attention/think they’re attractive . I value loyalty so I don’t know why it is so hard for me to settle with him I love him so much like no one could ever understand. What if I just can’t accept that he was meant to be temporary and I’ve outgrown this connection :(

I bet this will be over by this morning but I’ve just been intimate with my partner for the first time in ages and now my ocd is trying to convince me that he didn’t even wanna have sex and I just forced him which had made me feel anxious and cry. I’ve asked him for reassurance and he says that if he didn’t want to he would have said but am worried he’s lying to me he’s told me to pack it in asking him questions. What if am a bad person I can’t touch him ever again. Am worried I’ve accidentally done something wrong and he won’t tell me. An amazing moment between us feels ruined now as am upset at the thought he might not have wanted to do it and what if I’ve forced him? 🥲

we decided it was best to break up, we live together, but shes still in school and because im not and my job is already falling apart its best for me to leave this coast and return where im from. its devastating, over 2 years together and if i just had better impulse control and was a better listener and didnt avoid our issues things wouldve been better. but at the end of the day this was a mutual decision and was necessary for our individual growth, we both need time and space to grow and heal. the hope is that we can rekindle our spark again in the future but my bipolaresq spiraling and disrespect and instigation of fighting isnt helping either of us and makes her scared of me, and im scared of me too, who have i become. its for the best, its necessary right now and we have faith this will make us stronger together but we also have to accept the uncertainty. and thats hard. im gonna keep going to CODA and start therapy back in my home state, its just a temporary move back to let things settle and be less tense, but with space and time i hope we will be better individuals so we can be better for each other. its devastating, but we both need to respect ourselves and i need to let her go for good and the only way i can is to leave for a while.

In regards to my relationship, this is just what I keep asking. Is it ROCD or am I just not into her? I see some people writing " I Know I love her but my ROCD tries to tell me that I don't", and that seems understandable, but in my case is "Do I love her? shouldn't I know and so I'm just using ROCD as an excuse not to break up so that I won't be alone?". For context I have been diagnosed with OCD here at NOCD, and I do have thoughts like ( I don't feel as attracted, she's gaining weight and this and that, is she the right one for me, will I be happy if I get married, do I want to get married? have kids?, etc) She's a great person, the best! but do I love her? or rather am I in love?, etc

I’ve recently hit a very big milestone with my boyfriend. The problem is my fear happened again, I didn’t enjoy it, and couldn’t feel anything because I’m always subconsciously monitoring everything I feel/don’t feel. TMI but It’s really REALLY hard for me to get turned on and the last time I was FULLY in the mood was a couple years ago when I met up with my ex. But after that It’s never happened again. Extra TMI but I can’t even get aroused to things I used to be aroused by before this theme bc I feel like I’m watching for my reaction. But when it’s things I don’t want to feel any arousal towards I get aroused. Moving on, when I first noticed I had a crush on my current boyfriend 4 months ago, my mind was clear and I wasn’t really checking as much. But, when I noticed my feelings and attraction for him my body went into a “scanning” mode and I felt myself going numb. I would start to check if I found him attractive every time I saw him, if I still felt the same way the day I realized I thought he was cute, or if I was still excited about calling him. There’s times where him and I kiss and I’m fully present and enjoy it. But when I notice I start to focus on it again and I start to feel nothing. The best way I can describe it is there is a mini me in the back of my head watching everything I feel. Everything I think, feel, and dont feel is always being “watched” and I don’t know how to stop it. I miss being fully present when I’m with him because I finally felt the things that have been “shut off” ever since this theme started when I was 15. The more I subconsciously monitor the less I feel for him and I hate it.Im trying really hard not to ruminate on my lack of strong feelings, attraction, and libido when I come back from dates with him now. It really sucks because in the beginning of the relationship I was so happy about finally feeling attraction and emotions again. This is so annoying and I really hope someone can relate 😭. I need tips please.

Ive been thinking a lot abt what happened still w last post i made on here ,and I also have had some stuff happen for an update. Summarizing my last post really briefly, I found out a friend had unadded me and softblocked me on everything whilst I was already very paranoid that my friends did not like me. When I asked about it I was told that it was because 'our communication styles clash/ different kind of autistics' and it wasnt my fault. When first discovering they had done this (unadded/softblocked me on everything suddenly) I tried to handle this well,but I got very very paranoid and frantic,and I asked them if it was ok to re-add me and I asked if they were upset w me bc they did not do this to anyone else in the server ,which i think bothered this person and I should not have done (i was added back for a little while but eventually unfriended again) it was the next day after all this happened I was told that this friend felt pressured when I came to them about this,and though I also apologized for this i cant stop thinking abt it. Lastly was the fact there was an incident a few weeks ago where this person felt I was derailing convos,again this was something I apologized for,but I cant stop thinking abt it and if it played a part. I feel really guilty and like I keep fucking up,and im still quite scared everyone is going to leave me.

Hey so I don’t actually have ocd but I’m trying to understand my girlfriend better to be there for her in actual helpful ways, and I think she might have ocd and talking with her she thinks she might to. She is a huge perfectionist and definitely a germaphobe, as well as some sensory issues. She also has some things that seem like compulsions, she’ll feel like she needs to squeeze her fingers and hands, sometimes picking at them even if there’s not like dry skin or anything to pick at, and sometimes she’ll even feel like she needs to like rub them across something spiky or just a very specific surface but its not always the same. She also feels the need to have her whole body squeezed when she’s really stressed, almost like she wishes she was in a hydrolic press, so really really tight hugs or things like that help but I think that might just be a different thing and not ocd. She also has a weird feeling that makes her not want to kiss(as well as intimacy) and she struggles explaining what it is like. She really didnt want to kiss me for a while but she thought that it was just because of past experiences that were bad but then we finally kissed and she said she felt almost panic but different. I really care about her but this block making it so she cant kiss has recently made some bumps in our relationship. I would like to kiss her but I would rather have her happy so it’s fine, but I know that it affects her not knowing what is wrong and its made some doubts in the relationship. We’ve been able to talk it out and Im being really patient with her, but I want to fully understand her so that I can actually help her Does this sound like ocd? And what can I do to help?

NSFW content warning For the past 3 weeks I’ve been spiralling 24/7 about the years when I was in a long distance relationship with my now husband. I would make a bunch of nsfw photos and videos for him and we would make videos together for when we were apart for a long time. This stopped years ago when we moved in together and we have since deleted the content from anywhere we actively had it stored. My problem is that I’m obsessed with the idea that I could have been hacked somehow and the content could be online without my knowledge. I never had any signs of being hacked or having a virus and I had 2FA on my accounts (most of them at least, I can’t remember exactly it was too long ago), but I had multiple accounts and maybe had some that got abandoned that I don’t have access to. I used to do virus scans and never had a problem with a virus but what if I didn’t realise I had one. I’m also obsessed with the idea that somehow this content could have ended up on someone else in my households devices somehow, thoughts like “what if i shared this folder by mistake” “what if i accidentally put it on an SD card or memory stick”. I’ve been honest with my family about this and I’ve even gone through all the family photos (as best I can, there are thousands and some glitched and were unavailable to view) and found nothing, but I’m scared that there could be stuff on my old laptop hard drives at my parents house and whilst I know they would never snoop I’m scared they could get robbed and the hard drives taken but I don’t know if digging them out and erasing them would be compulsive? I’m also struggling hugely with false memory that has worked its way into this overall fear. What if I recorded something bizarre that I didn’t even send to my husband and don’t remember? Everyone I’ve spoken to including my husband and mom think I am being irrational and say this is my OCD but I am struggling too much to believe there is no real threat so I’m not avoiding my compulsions because my brain is making me feel like this is an active threat. Is ERP even effective for something like this that has basis in reality? I feel like my life is completely over from this fear, sometimes I think I am being irrational to put my life on hold and have it destroyed over something i have no proof of happening but I have considered suicide over this.

This is so humilating and vulnerable but I will sometimes see a photo of a women and get aroused it goes to my bean lmao. When I’m with my boyfriend I feel more of a heartbeat where he enters and a strong desire like I need it. Are they both true? It bothers me I feel like I’m so weird. I hate it I can accept me being attracted to women but I don’t desire to do anything with them. I feel I fucked up my brain receptors bc I used to watch 🌽 and it started at the age of 8 and barely ended at the age of 18💔💔 I was confused I didn’t know I wish I never touched it. I feel idk what true arousal feels like. The thing that confuses me is the feeling I get when I see women is the same feeling when I have a dream. I don’t like it. With my boyfriend it’s a need a desire. With women I feel grossed out that I even feel like that. Idk why it’s like this I feel that watching from such a young age really messed me up and I focus so much on feeling arousal w my bf i feel I don’t let myself actually get to there. When I’m in the act it feels good and I enjoy it a lot . I just hate that this happens to me I want to be normal I want to get turned on by just kissing him but I can’t I. Only get rly aroused when we are doing something we shouldn’t be like doing stuff in public. I fear I feel this way abt women bc ik it’s wrong and I feel that way about a lot of things like a lot I don’t like it. I can get turned on by making my sims woohoo but I can’t when my bf kisses my thighs im so sad I want to normal I fucked myself up so bad. Does anyone else relate? This is so embarrassing omg I js need to know if anyone is similar bc this is my main trigger my main issue and it tortures me. Ik im not romantically attracted to women but the sexual part rly bothers me I SONT WANT THAT😭💔💔 pls don’t tell me im gay I’ll cry. Also can focusing on arousal be a part of somatic ocd? I’m wondering bc ik it focuses on what the body feels. Idk I just need to know what’s wrong w me seriously

This isn’t the life I envisioned when this started in 2022 for me, sometimes I wish I knew why God would allow such a constant affliction. Everything just feels like it turned up 5 notches since then, everything is so intense all the time! It doesn’t even feel real. I’m so much more sensitive now, I struggle with internalizing things so much now. I can’t tell if I have unforgiveness towards someone or if it’s this dumb thing. In reality, I just want to be free! I just want to thrive and be highly successful, have a great family, a wife and children. Write books, serve others. This thing just interrupts so much and it frustrates me that I can’t control how I want to think, it frustrates me knowing that I experience such afflictions and a thing called “mental health.” I couldn’t even fathom something so disruptive 5 years ago. I wish God would just completely heal me. The mornings and late nights are the absolute worst, I even have episodes in my sleep. My chest tightens up, my forehead feels tense all the time, and it feels like there is no escape, and that I keep running into wall after wall with no way out. Before June 30,2022, I never understood what people would mean when they would say they have anxiety or are depressed. I really do now, life has an odd way of really humbling you and making you hit rock bottom. I’m really doing my best to hang on and continue to overcome, this thing is a thorn in my flesh like Paul talked about in the Bible. I’m young, I’m wise, and very gifted. I can do great things while on earth, I just want to become stable enough to be confident and joyful again; because right now, my brain is on fight or flight but we will persevere!

Struggling with relationship OCD for the past week. Finding other men attractive and liking their attention makes me feel extremely guilty and feels like I’m a terrible girlfriend. I would never cheat on my boyfriend of course I just like attractive people to think I’m also attractive. I have a problem with confessing so I’m trying to keep it to myself and not bother my BF with unnecessary worry. Does anyone have any tips or similar experiences?

I have so many emotions connected to this app and this community. I first struggled with POCD, and it ate me alive. I did intense ERP for 6 months and came out the other side happier because of it. Feeling much better. Still a bit scared, but not nearly as scared as I was. My themes started cycling after that. Obsessing over the things I’ve said. Obsessing over being just an in general needy person and how terrible it was. I got married and came back here with ROCD, with no progress. Now I’m coming back again, and I really hate opening this app. Every single time I come here I feel all of the dread and anxiety of dealing with this stuff again. Whether it’s because I don’t believe I’m going to make any more progress, or if it’s the knowledge of how much hard work it takes to do the actual work. Sometimes it’s trying to be supportive on the community tab and finding a new compulsion or obsession. I hate this so much. It’s so not fun to be back here. I just hope that the work will lead to a better life. Then all of this sucky feeling will be worth something.

Goodmorning y'all. I have always had trust issues due to past relationships and I have been seeing this wonderful little lady for a little over two months but i have actually known her for over ten years (we used to date back in the day but then she moved to texas and now she is back and we rekindled right away) ANYWAYS! how can i get over my constant worry that she is talking to/seeing someone else!? she has literally not given me a single reason to believe she is but my mind just keeps playing all these scenarios in my head. she's a good girl and i know her well there's a whole story behind us but i won't get into all that unless y'all want a novel lol.. i don't ever flat out accuse her of anything but i'll admit i do ask her for reassurance more times that i'd like to admit and i fear that it will eventually drive her away.. someone please help!! i don't want to lose this girl❤️