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working to conquer OCD
I feel like cancel culture is the enemy of OCD. It goes against everything so many of us have difficulty accepting- forgiveness, self-improvement, and feeling like a morally good person. Does anybody else get severely triggered by people being “cancelled” over small things and thinking: “That could be me someday”
Hello, it’s been some time since I’ve been on this platform but I’m not sure where else I feel safe to talk about this. Every minute of every day, I have the most horrible intrusive thoughts imaginable and I am constantly disturbed and horrified with both these thoughts and myself. I understand that these thoughts don’t define who we are, but it constantly raises the moral questions of if my brain is capable of conjuring these thoughts, even if involuntarily, then what does that say about who I am. The only solace I have is that I’m always disgusted with these thoughts but I’m constantly afraid of being some kind of monster because I have these thoughts and I feel like a terrible person for having these intrusive thoughts. I am in therapy and on medication, but neither are making this any easier, at least not yet. I don’t intend on stopping either nor have I felt any urge to actually carry out these thoughts, but they haunt me every minute of every day and I can’t stop them.
Does anyone that is diagnosed have experience having different themes come up in a day? It’s like I ignored one thought and then my mind comes up with another one until it figures out one that is scary enough for me to ruminate. Does it ever make sense? Like today my intrusive thought was an image of me in the space or falling into space which made me also think - this is non sense! Am I going crazy for having such an unrealistic intrusive thought? And then my psychosis OCD comes to play 🫠 it’s EXHAUSTING but I’ve been answering with “maybe or maybe not” and “I don’t care” which is something I saw someone saying that helps and I’ve been using it. I haven’t started ERP yet but hopefully soon. Just this year this came up and I still catch myself feeling so sad and remembering how I was before this. 😭
Does anyone else tell themselves "don't do 'this' or something bad will happen!" or if something bad does happen you go "it's because I did 'this' thing beforehand" and you end up avoiding a lot of stuff you really enjoy? I get in a bad habit of it. I assume some stuff is cursed, in a sense, even if it's something as mundane as using something in video game or eating a certain food.
content warning: mentions of sexual acts things took a turn for the worse and I ended up opening up about the intrusive thought I had about some random guy while self pleasuring and my boyfriend took it really badly. we calmed down pretty quick and he apologized but I don't know how to feel anymore. with everything else he has been so caring and gentle and understanding. I didn't expect him to be perfectly fine but it got really mean and I don't know how to deal with this. he has apologized and doesn't expect me to forgive him and also made it clear that he knows he messed up, I just feel so upset by how the interaction went. has anyone had a partner react badly for a moment but we're able to move past it? I know how exhausting it can be fir the partner of someone suffering so much and I'm not mad that he felt that way, I just feel so taken aback and in the moment it felt like a dream and everything was just a haze and so intense. please help I don't want to lose him and want to know if other people have worked past this before
Taking a walk down memory lane ❤️I used to stare at the knife blocks in my house because I was picturing myself committing suicide in vivid detail terrified I would do it. I was probably 7-9. I also had one about a stuffed penguin I had, where I’d imagine it lost and crying for me :,) that one still gets me even as an adult.
Im 16 and i’ve always wanted to drink and smoke weed to use it as a way to ease my tension and anxiety like people say it would . I never have because i’m terrified id say something horrible or do something bad and not remember it . I don’t tell people that’s why i don’t wanna engage in drinking or substances because i just know they wouldnt understand and they’d tell me to ‘stop being so paranoid’. So, instead , they call me boring and frigid which is putting pressure on me. i wish i could have fun like them but i actively avoid parties and dont get invited to them because of it. Im just so scared of something bad happening that’s out of my control. Im not too sure what to do because i don’t want to stay a social outcast forever. Any advice would be appreciated ❤️
OCD is so strange because I feel so mentally exhausted 24/7 but i’m so good at masking it that like it’s like i can think double. I’m not sure that makes sense. But i am so used to the OCD thoughts racing through my head that i can respond to my environment whilst completely existing in my head. I can have conversations when intrusive thoughts are taking over my inner dialect. I feel like i am even doubting whether i have OCD and whether it’s all just an excuse. I feel like my rumination hasn’t stopped for the past 3 years. Everything i used to enjoy or look forward to, is now dread and tainted by the thoughts telling me i never knew. I don’t even know what i like or who i am anymore. The thought of getting help and talking through it all scares me because what if i’m invalidated or if i speak about it too much then what if i don’t stop thinking. I’m so exhausted
Have you ever been feeling okay and then suddenly an old intrusive thought comes back but worse and you can’t seem to get past it as easily?
I have had OCD all of my life. It affects absolutely everything I do. Those of you that have it know exactly what I mean. I'm a 50 year old male and I have been on meds for 30 plus years. Most days I'm fine, except for a bit of compulsive checking. Lately, I have been absolutely overwhelmed with my job, which I absolutely hate. I have been at it for over 14 years. I'm at the point of a nervous breakdown and feel so terrible and ashamed for my poor wife having to deal with my emotions. I feel like a failure of a man and husband, though she's always by my side. I'm currently looking for new work but my OCD just accentuates everything. Lately, whenever I'm about to clock on for the day I nearly have a panic attack. And over what? A stupid job that would replace me in a heartbeat?? They have already led on that I'm not too far from that. OCD just makes everything soo damn big. Instead of realizing it's just time to move on and just take the necessary steps to do so, I Instead overthink and panic. This is my current struggle. Just wanted to share. Soo damn tired that all I think about is retirement. I'm just wishing my life away to the age when I'll seemingly be more at peace. Thanks for reading.
okay so i slept at like 3 am last night, so i obviously slept in lol. i woke up at like 1:40 to be exact but i also woke up multiple times in the morning just for no reason, i check the time and go back to sleep. i had to pee since like 6 am(the first time i woke up) but i didn’t because going to the bathroom and getting back in bed makes me feel dirty so i just went back to sleep. so fast forward to when i wake up at 1:40, i get up normally and as i’m walking to the bathroom i have to pee really bad like i can barely hold it. which is normal duh bc i’ve been laying down too long to know i had to pee really bad. i go to the bathroom and i sit down really fast so i felt a little pee get out before i sat (sorry if it’s tmi) but as i’m sitting i realize a wet spot on the lower part of my underwear and i start freaking out bc i know it’s pee but i’m asking myself what if i peed myself in my bed. so i felt my pants all over the inside and it wasn’t wet at all on my pants but i’m still scared. i showered and changed but now i’m asking myself what if i peed in my bed.. but what if i just peed a little on the way to the toilet bc i had to pee so bad i could barely hold it? does anyone else have this problem😞 i’m trying not to wash my bedding again bc i did like 3 times this week and i’m tired.
Hi everyone, it’s hard for me to share this but I wanted to give it a shot. OCD onset got really bad when I turned 19 and it’s been a huge struggle ever since. Even being able to accept help from NOCD was hard at first, I wasn’t brought up in a family that ever took OCD or other mental disorders as valid reasons to struggle. I’m turning 21 next week. These past few years have so much emotional baggage from OCD and trauma exacerbated by OCD. Sometimes I feel like it’s really hard for me to even assess the severity of my triggers and obsessions because I’ve become so used to being under constant distress. I can’t help but to feel at times that getting this disorder under control seems close to impossible. I’ve basically dropped out of college after trying to keep my head above water (and failing) for my freshman and sophomore year. I’m unable to study or even keep a normal job right now. I believe that now more than ever the world is in need of community building and organizing and I feel so much guilt for not being able to participate in that either. I feel like everything I want to be doing with my life right now, especially socially, feels so out of reach because of this illness. It makes it even harder to feel joy about life in this position, which can’t be good for my depression. I hope that soon I’ll be able to track my progress on here. I know growth isn’t linear and everything comes with time…but damn. This shit is hard.
I've been getting really poor sleep quality due to my OCD. Anyone have any tips or tricks for a good night sleep?
Hi Everyone I need some advice on how to decide what to do with myself. I can’t seem to find a way to make any decisions without doubting and It’s driving me insane because I don’t know how to help myself with my decision making
I really don’t understand myself, I tell myself they’re not real or thinking I’m not in my own head then I overthink that I would do something terrible to someone, then I get super anxious and worked up. I have control over my own self obviously, but if I just let myself go without thinking over my thoughts, I’m afraid something bad would happen. Therapy is helping but I don’t get it. I can be doing something so simple and my mind throws stuff at me, either from trauma, past experiences or something completely made up. I’m afraid I won’t ever be able to overcome this, because I beat myself up every time and think I’m a horrible person and don’t deserve the life I’m living. It’s so hard and some times I just want to give up, because it’s an everyday occurrence. It’s better than it is as but I’m done thinking all these dark thoughts and obsessing over them thinking that I could do these things because they live in my head rent free. I don’t want to do anything it tells me to do, so I fight. I fight hard and hopes that one day it will go away… does anyone else relate? I need someone to talk to about this.
I’m not sure if this is ocd but sometimes I’ll just be doing literally anything and my brain will be like what if this this and this happens and it’ll be like so random like an example id be like walking home and id be like what if my whole family got k!lled in this really brutal way and it’ll have nothing to do with anything im doing ill just get a really vivid thought of something horrible happening and it freaks me out every time and sometimes I just have random ones about like me like having a whole scenario of me singing in front of my whole school and everyone loving it (I can’t sing) sometimes the thoughts are just intrusive thoughts or somethings they’re like full on daydreams where there’s like a whole plot to it like even the bad scary ones it’s weird
Hello, everyone :) i posted because I am in a situation. I am a college student going into my sophomore year and my parents refuse to help with my college anymore. I was in Rotc but was dropped because I have asthma. They gave me a scholarship and was paying my in state tuition and my loans covered the rest. Should I drop out? If i continue I will be 300k in debt and i can't go to community because I have an associates degree when i graduated highschool last year.i thought about moving out and living on the streets or with a friend because my parents demand i go to college or they will kick me out.I am currently 19 and I am doing a dual major in BS Mechanical Engineering and BA Mathematics. I live in Texas and attend school in Oklahoma. Now i feel numb I have cried all I have cried and a part of me is saying stop worrying and leave it to God but I am struggling currently. I tried to file as homeless and fafsa said i cant they alr have my parents information. Fafsa still believes my family will pay but they are middle class and don't pay for anything.Please no hate to my parents on this post. I have accepted that hating them won't help. Any response will help! Also any tips on trying to calm down? My ocd has been horrible since I received these news this week and school starts in 4 weeks. I am just very upset and numb.
I first began NOCD therapy in crisis mode. I had been stuck in SO-OCD since 2022 and there came a point where I would have to do deep breathing exercises before my best friend’s bridal shower because I feared intrusive thoughts and feelings during the event. After spending two years in talk therapy, mentally and emotionally stuck in rumination and isolation, I made a desperate call to NOCD after a morning walk riddled with racing thoughts and tears. I began ERP therapy with Emily and in the beginning, there were many tears and anxiety over finally confronting the thoughts, images, and needing to develop new strategies instead of compulsions. Starting medication was the final boost I needed to succeed in my ERP homework and developing new neural pathways to combat OCD. The total war approach of therapy, medication, and taking each day as it comes has given me life again. I used to check my eyes because they would be puffy from the raging cortisol and stress. It’s been two weeks and my eyes look wide and clear again. Mental compulsions that would take hours of my day are now a blip in my brain that I can let pass and move forward with the day ahead. Thank you NOCD, Emily, Dr. Azzem and God for bringing me to life again!
i did something not very good and i cannot move on from it because i truly don’t feel i deserve to. it’s like inhumane and i don’t feel like i should ever be happy. trying to forgive myself and move on is the hardest thing to do.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
