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Have any of you noticed that when you engage in confessing compulsions you often feel like you have to re-confess because you feel like or realized you left something out. Or that this just starts a landslide of confessing?

Does anyone have any tips on how to get a full nights rest? I had a pretty good afternoon/evening yesterday, yet still found myself waking up every 2-3 hours with anxious thoughts. Also I have this horrible chest pain in the morning, that usually takes me a while to shake. Not sure if that’s contributing to my lack of sleep.

Has anyone read the article in the Guardian yesterday by Rose Cartwright? It basically says OCD is not a medical condition in the brain but the brain is formed by trauma in childhood. So I guess she means deal with the trauma and the intrusive thoughts stop? I have had therapy for many years have dealt with my traumas but it never helped my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. 🤷‍♀️ https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/13/i-was-the-poster-girl-for-ocd-then-i-began-to-question-everything-id-been-told-about-mental-illness?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

It might just be the opposite of what I fear; it might just be OCD. The whole thing about being uncertain of something that you're not willing to tolerate not knowing is a sign of how distressed you are by it. Having uncertainty and obsessing and worrying about not being certain about something should be self-reassuring because it means that you're wondering and thinking painfully about an issue that many wouldn't even question or doubt themselves within; it bothers you and it scares you. It suggests that you're clearly not what you fear the most. All this time, you thought that in order to not be a monster, you should never even notice and think about these scary and disturbing things in the first place. But maybe the fact itself that you're obsessing about this bothering stuff, trying to figure it out, confirms that you're the furthest thing away from being that monster. Not wanting to be is an enough answer. All the things that are triggering us daily, are just tests in which we have to always recognise when we're about to ruminate and pull ourselves out of it, and thinking it as a chance and a challenge to practice exposure and response prevention.

I’ve been having constant delusional thoughts about my family not being my family or being swapped somehow. It started out as very existential what ifs as well as me just in general being delusional or schizophrenic but has now actually moved into delusional thinking. It really scares me because my brain will start to look for proof that it’s true when I’m constantly trying to logic my way out of it. I get thoughts like “what if your family are skin walkers” and my brain will try to find a reason why unwillingly, and then I will fight that thought. And when I do that it will find the deepest delusional thought to combat that rational thought. Like I’ll see something and get a crazy thought “what if that’s a warning or sign that your family is not your family” “what if that thought was put in your head” “what if none of your thoughts are yours” or something insane along those lines, and it can truly feel like it could be happening but I still know deep down it’s not. Like I know there are a million logical explanations for why it isn’t true but my mind wants to stick to the worst thing imaginable. It’s like my brain is forcing me to find a reason on why it could be true, and making bizzare connections, when I just know in my core it’s not. I fear that I’m developing schizophrenia. I just don’t understand why there is a part of me that is considering this as a possibility when I know it’s not? Even when I say I know I can’t feel that feeling of knowing. It also almost feels like I am forcing myself to write normally, like I question if I’m just in denial and am just coping with this being true or something. I saw a psychiatrist and told me he believes it’s OCD, but I sometimes just don’t understand why these thoughts can get so deep. I truly feel like I’m insane. Like I’m aware of my own paranoia or psychosis.

i was at a rehearsal yesterday and i got super afraid of hurting someone for no reason. i wish i could tell someone, but i don’t know how to get them to understand that i don’t want to and i truly won’t? it’s really scary and i can’t really isolate because i’m around other people. instead i just start feeling terribly icky, if you know what mean. like my own skin shouldn’t be touching me. i feel horrible for thinking about any of it.

Receiving the email congratulating me on 6 months was a pleasant surprise this morning. When I was notified that I received my conquerer badge back in October, I was feeling pessimistic and not nice towards my progress, so I didn’t share it. But, I’ll share this achievement. I was finally diagnosed with OCD at 31. I’ve been in therapy with NOCD for a little over 2 years. When I started ERP, I went in blind, not knowing what to expect. The work was really, really hard. I had to learn how to undo years of mental compulsions and OCD-related habits. I was constantly tired, scared, and mentally exhausted. I took life day by day. If you’re in ERP, you’re probably familiar with the pattern of starting an exposure, feeling really scared, doing all of the hard work, until that exposure gets easier and easier, and you cross it off your list. Then you start the next one. My journey was sitting in my car for my therapy sessions, going to work after, and doing my exposures during the week. I cried often, i got frustrated with myself for not doing my exposures “perfectly,” for not being able to do things like a “normal” person. But then, I noticed changes. I realized instead of just feeling fear, or apprehension—I was also feeling that I could get through the exposures. My mindset went from “I don’t want to do this, it’s too much, I miss my comfort zone of compulsions,”—to “ugh, I don’t want to do my homework, but I will-because I know this is my way through.” Here is what I can do now, in my life, that I could not do years ago: I can use public restrooms. I can drive further than 20 minutes on the freeway. I drove about 4 hours all together last weekend. I can drive at night again. I used to love it, ocd took it away from me, but I took it back. I drove in the pouring rain on the freeway today, and I forgot to be scared. I joked with my friend instead as I drove. I care so much less about what people think of me, in small moments (how I look being new to the gym, how I appear in public doing simple things). When thoughts of death come up, I can dismiss them. I’m not afraid to be around my grandmother (I feared emotional contamination for years and years and years). I still have hard days. Last month, I thought I was going to relapse. Starting medication was really hard, because of the unknown. But here’s the magic of ERP—you develop the skills, and you don’t lose them. I worked through my fears of relapse over a new theme, I was honest with my therapist-and I bounced back. I bounced back so much quicker than I thought I would. I still struggle with grief, of things ocd took a hold of. I’m still working on acceptance. But I’m finding my values and living my life according to them. I can be my authentic self. Wherever you are at in your journey-you will find the peace you’re looking for. You are all more than your OCD. If you haven’t found that yet, you will. And I can’t wait to hear about it.

I mean like we believe in the devil and demons, then you hear that others on social media talks about ocd being a demon possession, or any mental illness being a demon, and if you believe that and it helps you, do it, but this makes me more paranoid. I just let my tiktok algoritm become more christian but then it ended up being this "we call everything a sin and a demon" type of videos which made me question if im really a good person and saved, and now im even afraid of demons, that they are attacking me and thats why im dealing with fear, and it just scares me, it became so bad that i start to get paranoid like im sure you experienced that when you think youve seen something in the corner of your eye, like something moved, and this just worsenes the fear... i know im dealing with fear but you know my mind still makes up shit... As a christian its really hard to deal with ocd, cause we do believe in demons but we cant view mental illness as possession, it just doesnt help, and i got to a point where i started questioning everything i hear about the bible and then i realized maybe its not a good thing tho, so i started to learn about things and now im back at fearing demons and that i have a demon or i can be posessed in the future. Same with sins, legalist people made me angry so i just ignored everything they said but then i realized maybe its egoistic to think everything they say its just legalism, and i went back learning about it and now im having this legalist/is this a sin or not problem. It feels like im on a spiral, i always come back to fear demons and fear that what i do is actually a sin and i live a sinful life

I don’t know where else to go, I feel as though my depression just keeps getting worse and worse and even though my ocd is under control, it still makes me upset. It truly is a life ruiner and there’s nothing I could do about it but take medication and learn to adapt. Not only that, I’m starting to feel like my home isn’t a “happy home” that much anymore. Everyday or at least every other day there is an argument between my parents. I hear it, even at times where it’s 1 am and I can literally hear them angrily have sex and THEN going back to arguing and crying and shit. This is relevant because I started getting more unwanted thoughts about my dad and mom, not only with my harm ocd but maybe a newly stemming ocd too ? 100% gross sexual images pop into my head and I fucking hate it. I just need some comfort and to be told I’m not alone.

How can I tell the difference between avoidance and fighting a compulsion. I thought check ALOT I’m constantly checking the thoughts are there half the time I don’t realise till I’m mid doing it. So I’ve just been really trying not to and even when I’m watching something I’ve been really confused on concentrating and not thinking the thought that I’m not sure if I’m just avoiding thinking at all or trying to fight the compulsion to check 😐😐

Parts of the day I feel my body get stressed from the thoughts. But a lot of times I just don’t! I have the feeling and the thoughts, I don’t want them, but there’s no anxiety, just some kind of sadness

TW !!!!! i’m so scared right now and i just want someone to relate because i feel like an awful awful person, this is an event hat happned when i was 5 or 6 i don’t really know how old i was but i was a young child and with another child who was 2 or 3 years younger than me i can’t really remember the age gap but that’s what terrified me because im scared i did COCSA. ( child on child sexual assault) i feel awful and i have this recurring thought “what if i took advantage of him” and it wont stop. i remember i said to him do you want to see what sex is like and i said but keep your clothes on and he said okay and i want doing it for sexual pleasure because i dont think i really understood or knew what it was but i kept my clothes on and he took all his clothes off when i didn’t want him to (including his underwear)and he got on top of me and was moving and i remember feeling really uncomfortable so i stopped it and i know this might be tmi but i just need to know if i abused him or not because i cant stand the thought, im really struggling and i don’t think there was any evil intent behind what happened but i keep having the recurring thought “what if i took advantage of him” i don’t know what to do i feel like i should turn myself in to the police i feel dreadful

I can’t stress enough the importance of letting thoughts and feelings be. It’s soo difficult to try not to fight it because it feels so overwhelming and important. But I promise you, when you let it be it ALWAYS passes. I kept trying to fight the anxiety I had, which kept me stuck. Once I allowed myself to feel scared and uncertain, the feelings have gotten less and less scary every day. I promise you that you’ve got this ❤️❤️OCD recovery is possible !!

My current therapist doesn't do erp and my syntoms aren't getting better, so I would like to change. I live in Italy and I struggle finding somebody who does erp. I've found a therapist but I'm scared she will not do erp properly and it will lead to nothing even this time. A part of me would love to try therapy with NOCD, however: - I don't know if therapy in a foreign language would be very effective - it's kinda expensive without insurance If somebody has tried it, would you like to share your experience with me? Thanks!! P.S: I'm really struggling making a decision but at the same time I'm afraid this could be part of "obsessing about obssesing"🫠 Like maybe I'm compulsively seeking therapy... but I just want to get better ugh

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia but it’s her 8 months I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.

i have recently had really bad confession ocd. i have an amazing happy healthy relationship, and i’m slowly destroying it. now, it’s come as far as me confessing thoughts that i probably shouldn’t be having to him. i feel so much guilt and anxiety if i don’t tell him, but telling him is just ruining our relationship and hurting him. i don’t mean these thoughts, i love him and want only him. i also confess at least 5+ times a day. I struggle with not even knowing if some things im confessing that i’ve done in the past are real or fake. it’s like i don’t know if what i did was real or not. im trying my best to stop confessing, but it’s hard because how am i supposed to know if it’s something he really needs to know or not? i don’t wanna lose him by telling him stupid stuff i should have kept to myself. he’s my dream person. it’s hard to act normal around him when i’m having the urge to confess. that leads me to not hold it in when he asks if i’m okay, because then if i say yes i’m lying so then i have to confess. we are very open about things, but it just has gone too far on my end. if anyone has any tips on how to overcome this please share.

I did something 5-6 years ago when I was barely an adult, and I know it was stupid, but I know I can never take it back, and I hate myself everyday for it. I feel like I can’t move forward in life because I can’t forgive myself and honestly sometimes don’t even want people to see I exist. I haven’t done that same thing in years but I still see myself as a horrible person. How do I move forward. I’ve been in therapy since I was 19 and also have extreme extreme checking ocd and it hasn’t helped but this rumination has been a big problem lately.

Today was kinda hard😵‍💫 I tried to go to a new therapist who does ERP (my current therapist doesn't - I've read a lot about it on NOCD but never tried it with a therapist). However, telling her my intrusive thoughts, I got so triggered. I don't know, but the more she asked and the more I answered, my brain was like: "She thinks you like girls and you are in denial... and you know, it's probably the most logical thing. That's it". I somehow went out there convinced that was the truth. Then I had a really ugly cry with my mother 💀 and now I don't know what to do! I don't know if it's her "fault" that I got triggered or if it's a good thing... like, she didn't reassure me or give me an answer ("oh don't worry, you certainly love your boyfriend!" or "uh yeah, you're absolutely lying, you're in denial"), so maybe that's a good thing?

I made tons of mistakes mainly because of my lack of experience, but there's one that is actually hurting me more than any other, I have given up on over the love my life due to my deteriorating mental illness (OCD) and I know that I have caused her a lot of pain, I know that there are no Justifications for breaking people's heart but I wish she knew the amount of pain that I had to deal with due to my OCD, she knew I had it but she couldn't fathom the amount of distress that it caused me, I chose the coward's way out, I left just like that so I could figure what was wrong with me and now I feel like the most disgusting person on earth. Just wanted to get this of my shoulders, thank you for bearing with me.

I’m so confused right now. I found someone who romantically loves me entirely and who I romantically love completely back. They’re basically my perfect person, it feels like my soulmate. I told them to just be friends with me for now. Because I have this idea that I need them to share my faith with me, I was obsessed with it, it is by far the only thing that could be considered “wrong”. They respect my faith, they’ve done everything they can except convert (which I would be mad if they converted for me, that’s a personal decision that shouldn’t be made for another person.) I just have this idea that I need the emotional connection with them that would come from shared faith. It doesn’t help that I have some friends who believe an interfaith relationship wouldn’t work advising me. I’ve been obsessed on this, I keep asking everyone in my life for advice on it, I couldn’t eat or sleep or work leading up to the conversation trying to find “the answer.” Now that I’ve told them we should be just friends while I work things out so they’re not caught in limbo with me I’m worried I made the wrong decision, that they’ll move on before I know, that this whole “Need” of mine could just be OCD and I threw out the best relationship and person I love the most in my life for no real reason. Idk how much time it’ll take. Idk what’s me, what’s a reasonable doubt or reaction, I’m still struggling to focus on anything else in my life. How do I know if this is a genuine need of mine or if it’s my OCD convincing me there’s something wrong, I can’t trust myself or my own judgement but the decision has to come from us and he won’t proceed if I tell him not to because he’s amazing. Idk what to do, I can’t trust myself with anything. I know OCD is involved here because I’ve had other intrusive thoughts that didn’t stick as long that I was able to overcome because I do trust and love him so much. It just occurred to me yesterday that “the big problem” could be OCD getting in the way too. I also have trauma from an ex heavily manipulating me with my faith, despite that I told him right off the bat I didn’t expect him to be involved in that part of my life if he didn’t want to. I think that may be coming to play as well?