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my intrusive thoughts are so scary and i hate it so much. they are also just so annoying it makes me cry a lot. i don’t wanna live like this im only a child. (i am not suicidal btw im just upset)

for the last several months, OCD has had an absolute chokehold on my career as a self employed artist. Just constant new subtypes and intrusive thoughts popping up one right after the other, all boiling down to the fear of me potentially losing my career. I'm not currently in therapy (nOCD does not take my insurance) but currently waiting to hear back from a therapist and OCD specialist while taking advice from OCD resources in the meantime. I've been doing everything I possibly can to keep my life going and working through my OCD, but it is so exhausting. I'll be working on a project and when intrusive thoughts pop into my head, I do my best to do some self ERP and tell myself the usual "well, maybe!", or "oh well!" ect, ect. but the anxiety will still linger and i will experience such extreme anxiety symptoms like sweating, dizziness, disassociation, and nausea to the point i will start gagging while I'm still trying to get my work done. It's become physically debilitating to deal with, it takes so much longer for me to finish work, and I don't even enjoy what I've created once it's done. I decided in a few weeks I'm going to take a short hiatus from my art account, so I can take a break from having to deal with the constant physical symptoms ontop of dealing with social media/algorithms which have also been frustrating me. I even plan to wipe my page so I can come back to a clean slate when I decide I'm ready to post again. But now my OCD has taken a hold of me wanting to take a step back. 'What if you don't recover when you come back?' 'What are you hiding/running from?' 'Maybe OCD is just telling you to take a break?' I am so tired lol. I don't know what the right choice is for me right now. But I do want to take a step back from work to work on my mental and physical health. So I think I'm at least going to listen to what my body and brain needs. if anyone has some advice or words of encouragement (not reassurance) pleaaase drop it here bc I'm gunna need it!!

Does anyone else do repetitive actions?? And I’m not talking about when we think “oh I have to do this three times or else my family will die”, I mean more like turning on the shower and just sitting there while it runs bc it’s the only thing that brings me comfort. I know it’s horrible of me and a waste of water which is why I’m trying to stop and find something else that brings me that comfort. But when my ocd strikes I just wanna sit in the bathroom with the shower on😭

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to stop ‘joy checking’? Like I feel the need to keep checking my emotional state, both in the moment and in the past, to make sure I am feeling happy and joyful. This is due to my fear of developing depression which will lead to suicide (or so my ocd tells me). It’s quite distressing. Any suggestions? Thanks so much!

Hi guys also another question I’ve been doing ERP for awhile now. And I’m just getting into exposures and when I’m doing them with my therapist like writing out the things that scare me and saying them out loud it doesn’t seem to scare me. It’s more so when I’m alone having these constant thoughts daily is what becomes overwhelming and makes them feel real. Any insight on this?

I hate that I get over one thing then my brain moves into the next thing to be upset about and I feel like this one is the worst thing to be obsessing over. Eugh. I feel evil and gross and I feel like ppl will think I’m a threat and I don’t want ppl to think of me that way. I’d never hurt anyone or want to ever But I’m trying to get through the day and survive. AS HORRIBLLY CHEESY AS THAT SOUNDS ITS TRUE I JUST WANNA BE OK😭 does anyone know how to move on from these feelings especially when it’s stuff from the past. I want to move on from and live now but I’m so scared to move because what if ppl find out? And they’ll think I don’t care because I’m not actively feeling ugly about it like I do now and literally all the time. I feel so horrible for even saying that too much guilt. Anyone have help ideas? Advice? Words? Idk I feel dizzy af with my emotions rn sorry if this didn’t make sense.

I’ve been obsessing over the same thought for so long it seems so real and I’m questioning my sanity and I think it might be real. I’ve been thinking I might have aphasia but I can read and respond to people but sometimes I can’t understand people and it’s really confusing. Every time I try to let it go my stomach tightens but I’ve been getting these headaches for a long time and I’m scared it might be something serious. Can someone help?

Has you OCD ever used the word obsession against you? I'm assuming that along with our regular OCD thoughts that we accept the thought but not the content of the thoughts.

my ocd is being the most annoying thing in the world right now. my intrusive thoughts keep telling me to cut myself and its keeping me from falling asleep. i have to be up in 5 hours. i dont want to and im not gonna but i feel like i have to to make the thoughts go away. this is really hard :(

Hi everyone, I felt a strong need to post and say this. I used to struggle with severe and debilitating OCD for about two years of my life. I’ve always tended to have obsessive tendencies, but 2 years ago it got severe and I was drowning. My OCD affected my relationships (family, friendships, boyfriend) etc. I mean i’ve had pretty much every “theme” imaginable. I just want to let you know that there is more hope than you could ever imagine. I no longer have disordered anxiety nor struggle with ocd. I have never taken any medications and have only done therapy once for a few months over a year ago. You have every single tool within you already to beat ocd because it’s so much smaller than you could ever imagine. I know you’re probably waiting to hear how I healed myself so here it is, I left it in God’s hands. Now before you turn your phone off and throw it across the room just hear me out. Take the focus off yourself and Read. Your. Bible. It is that simple. Stop focusing on yourself and hyper-fixating on every single thought or feeling that you get. Let it go. Give it to God. It is not your battle it is His. Healing is so much more simple than we make it out to be. You are not broken, you are perfectly capable of living a regular life, you are always in the center of mental health. January 27th I sat down in my room bawling my eyes out in the middle of a panic attack and said to myself: Psalm 139:14 “For I am fearfully and wonderfully made, no weapons formed against me shall prosper, For I know the plans I have for you, not to harm you but plans to give you hope and a future. For walk by faith not by sight” I sat there crying with my eyes closed and said that to myself about 20 times out loud and I felt a warm glow in my chest. That was the most peace I had felt in over 2 years. I read my bible almost everyday and I am healing quicker every single day. You are strong. There is hope. God loves you so much you are so amazing. Tips: -Buy a bible ($20 on amazon) or rent it for free from a library. -Pray daily (it doesn’t matter when, how, or about what, just talk to God because he’s your best friend) -Listen to Girls Gone Bible (or any podcast about strengthening your faith) -Don’t pay any attention to your thoughts let them pass on like leaves in the fall. -Go checkout @peacefromwithin on instagram ( I’m considering starting my own podcast to share my testimony and give tips on how to manage ocd/anxiety lmk if anyone is interested bc i have so much more to share:) You are SO loved.💌

Don't understand ocd, especially so ocd, i'm so sick of people coming in here and saying "well there Is nothing wrong with being gay i don't understand this" yeah i know???? I'm literally in an ocd space so why assuming it's about me being homophobic? If I could stop obsessing I wouldnt give a f!ck about being gay, I hate people so much. There are so many people trying to trigger us on this app, like how evil to want to hurt people who are already suffering.

i’m panicking because i remember when i was younger when i was 13 i found porn on instagram and i was scrolling and i was pleasuring myself and was always trying to make sure the videos that i was watching weren’t bad like someone being forced and i remember as i was scrolling while pleasuring myself i came across a video and it looked like a movie but the man was on top of the woman and she was crying but i don’t know if she was crying because of that im not sure but im pretty sure it was a movie or something and i still pleasured myself but not to that video but like just thinking about something else and the video just played in the backs it i had my eyes closed and i didnt watch it but it worried because what if i did watch it and pleasured myself while watching the video, i feel like im going to throw up i cant handle this, i wish i never got exposed to porn at such a young age

Can intrusive thoughts feel like your actual thoughts and who you are as a person the longer you have them? It feels like it is a reflection of who I am but a year ago when this started it was easier to point out. Now I don’t know.

Has anyone here ever been able to get relief from an intrusive thought by ruminating and going over and over it in their memory to try and figure it all out? Is it even possible?

I’m trying my best to resist the compulsion of seeking reassurance with a friend, I really really want to text her and tell her my thoughts to see what she thinks about it, but I know it could be a compulsion :(. Any tips for keep resisting?

I have trouble feeling like I even love my partner. Like I see those OCD memes like ‘when I love my partner so much and I’m so in love but then have intrusive thoughts about our relationship’ I’m like … how do you even know you love your partner lol. I feel so identified with my intrusive thoughts I feel like they ARE the relationship, they ARE my feelings, and constantly feel that lack.

I was fine for so long, didnt have any intrusive thoughts, but i saw something on facebook that triggered a form of ocd i thought i recovered from over a year ago. Im so afraid that there is something wrong with me. I’m so afraid what if i do something super horrible that i don’t want to? What if i go crazy and something bad happens because of me? I dont want to have these thoughts i just want to be normal.

I couldnt word it before but now i can so i write it down. I always feel like im avoiding and now i know why, because people say dont go there, dont think about the thoughts, just notice it then focus on somethinh else. And for me when i try to not go there i feel like ik avoiding cause the urge of thinking about it is so strong that i have to fight to not go there and it becomes a fight then my mind sees that im having a problem so it gets worse. And then when i try to ignore or shift my attention it becomes an avoidance like its just too much power on trying to not focus on it. Also i start to say i dont want to think about this cause i know its ocd and ita bad for me but it gets worse and worse and then i feel like nothing helps cause i still avoid even if i try to do what i should do... any advice?

Is it possible to go a whole 6 years of your life completely normal and then suddenly have an intrusive thought that you may have harmed someone yearsss ago? And upon looking for ‘evidence’ of this event you start to find things that add up, and then get paranoid it’s real when you don’t think it is? Some things add up , some things don’t.. This thought may be getting mixed with other real events honestly I don’t know anymore, but I think maybe checking myself into a ward might be my only solution.

i don't know if I can continue my college. I have undiagnosed ocd and i haven't talked with a psychiatrist yet. My course is very hard, it requires a lot of attention and i cannot give that. I feel like crying, we had our 1st quiz today and I failed. I failed as a student and as a daughter...