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What do yours feel like if you get them?

why do I get one for no reason? and why is it so strong and overwhelming? i ended up doing the m-sturbation compulsion to get rid of it and i kept thinking of different images to see if it made the feeling stronger and it did and it scared me so i just stopped thinking about it. but im scared im too far gone. im scared im genuinely a p. im scared im a fraud and genuinely fooling everyone. this compulsion i have just seems like an excuse to get off to this. im so sad. anxiety is low, shame is high. i use to have a lot of anxiety about this but it’s gone down a lot. I would rather not be on this earth than be a p. what do i do? why does this compulsion happen? does this compulsion mean i like this? even if the sensations feel like it does?

I struggle in many ways. My best friend is a licensed counselor and they have been diagnosed with OCD themselves. Life circumstances found me living with my bff and their fiancee, and it was pointed out that I may want to take the Y-BOCS. I scored 12 in obsessions, 12 in compulsions, for a total of 24 which puts me in the severe symptoms class. I honestly don't know where to go from here but I'm putting myself out there.

TW - This post is directed to the men. Also, this is going to be TMI I'm a guy and I've been having a rough time talking to people now. A lot of times I get groinal responses even during talking to people -- really anyone, including family members and other dudes. I'm not really sure what the reason is. But it is difficult having that happen because as a guy, it is of course more obvious to the outside world when it happens, and I have to hide it. Anyway, I was at college just a few hours ago and ran into someone I knew from one of my clubs and they talked to me and I got a groinal response and I had to cut the conversation short because I obviously wanted to get out of that situation and I didn't want anyone to notice and think I was some kind of pervert. Of course, I wasn't even thinking that way. And what makes it worse is that it also just so happened to be a lady. But it's just really hard to get a grasp on those thoughts because of OCD. Man, it stinks... Anyway, sorry for the TMI

I’m not in therapy or anything yet, and I also don’t have any official ocd diagnosis, but someone gave me the advice to watch some shows/youtube videos related to my fear and linked a video..and I’m really scared to watch. How do you prepare for an exposure? I’m worried I’ll like it even though I know it’s against how I feel. I’m scared to hear about people who actually do these horrible things. I don’t know how to watch it and then go about my day afterwards. Any advice? Maybe you’re not supposed to prepare, cause I know that’s probably the point is it’s exposing you to something you fear that you’re avoiding right? I don’t know.

OCD can turn even the smallest choices into towering dilemmas, leaving you trapped in a cycle of second-guessing. Everything feels much bigger than it is which can lead to indecision and confusuon! How has this shown up for you?

Hey everyone, yesterday i went to my counseling appointment,what was supposed to be my last session. But as me and my counselors spoke they gave me two options. We can continue counseling with the idea that i have OCD but not be diagnosed. Or, that i can have my diagnoses and we can begin therapy with goals in mind, exercises and many other things that sound appealing to help me with my issues because as my counselor said, that it seems that im struggling to get through the day and i agree. I want to go through with the official diagnosis because i feel like it can help me so much! But im afraid, mostly of what my parents would think. I hate lying and keeping secrets when it comes to me i feel dirty and sad when i dont tell them everything now a days. I still live with them and my family, im 18 years old so i really don’t have to tell them anything about this dissuasion i might make but-i keep going to what if they some how find out? what if i get in trouble? my counselor told me that even if they came marching to my door they don’t have to tell them anything which is nice but-how long can i keep this a “secret”. Ik im illegally an adult but im still just a teenager what do i know? Im making the right choice by doing this? If i were to tell them how do i bring this up? How i tell them? I just need advice thank you for reading:(

My false memory is of me assaulting another human and to make it worse it has a real detail being a towel radiator. I tried to guess what I would’ve been leaning on if I was standing in a specific place in a room I went in yearsss ago and I kinda just guessed a towel radiator and to my shock looking back at the old pictures I got it right…I don’t remember assaulting anyone though? It’s scaring me as yes the towel radiator was there but I do not recall harming another human it’s sooo against my nature even drunk. So now my ocd is using that towel radiator against me saying my whole false memory must be real as it has a real detail? I know it’s probably laughable to some people but my whole life is being ruined right now by a radiator. I’ve spoken to a therapist who kept saying she didn’t really understand what it’s got to do with the false memory. My family and partner keep assuring me I would never do that and to just move on. So why can’t I move on?! Anyone dealt with anything remotely similar?

I get pretty intense feelings of hopelessness because I crave peace. But obv it feels unattainable with OCD when the theme’s always change. I started ERP, and to think about doing this forever has me mentally tired. How do I combat this negative feeling? All I want is to feel peace, and not like I’ll never feel ok

so i have like INTENSE fear of being a psyhopath it has been here for 4 months and i have started googling everything about me like for example when im rude to a person my mind goes omg i was rude does that mean im a psyhopath does that mean i dont have empathy and i go to google and search is it normal to be this is it normal to be this i google everything i do EVERYHING i think of LIKE EVERYTHING all i need is some reassurance how do i know i have empathy and if im rude sometimes and judgmental does that mean im a psyhopath i know reassurance is not good but here i need it plesse

hi. relationships are really hard for me. the intrusive thoughts while we are just hugging and like showing affection r bad. it almost ruins the entire feeling for me. i started to have doubts while we were cuddling and think abt what if im not in love with him and im using him. i love him very much and id never wanna do anything to hurt him. hes very sweet to me and i try my best to show that i love him too but my thoughts keep telling me im not in love with him i need to leave because im gonna end up cheating on him or telling me that i already did and telling me im leading him on and playing him when none of this is happening or true. i actually cried a little bit while cuddling with him because of this. i dont want to ruin the relationship its fr interfering and i hate it :(

Hello, I'm Lon (17M) I'm experiencing symptoms of OCD since i was a kid (10). But my parents seems like they're not aware about OCD. They will just always tell me to stop doing the same thing repeatedly and control myself to stop my involuntary movements because they thought that i can control it and it's all just my habit, but no. I'm now 1yr and few months before going to college yet i'm still experiencing these symptoms and it is now worsened. From checking things repeatedly and involuntary movements to intrusive images, intrusive thoughts, arranging things perfectly. I'm now experiencing a lot of symptoms but i still can't get a therapist because i don't have the budget for that. That's why i'm trying to give myself a therapy bcs i'm so tired dealing with my OCD's, Everyday, it makes my life harder than it actually is. I'm seeing lot of ppls with 2 or 3 symptoms saying that they're also tired of it but they still can live their everyday life normally. Because mine is so hard that I can't even do normal things like drinking water without shaking my hands and opening the faucet 4-8 times. I've got almost everything of the symptoms and yet here i am suffering without any help for years and it's getting so hard and i keep getting more symptoms, maybe in a few months or couple of years i will get ALL the symptoms of OCD and the thoughts about suicide. I'm not comparing my OCD to the other ppls OCD. My grammar is so fucked up in this post because my ocd says that I can't use some specific grammars or else something will happen after sharing my story. I really hope you guys understand.

I always get images of things that I severely don’t want to have. It gets better as the day goes on but I feel that whenever I make mistakes or there’s an accident (for instance my fingers accidentally grazed a students “area” when I was trying to get my pen) make me feel insanely guilty and that I want to hurt myself to compensate. For that instance I told my boss right away and she didn’t make it a big deal because it was such a swift and accidental occurrence, but that moment kept/keeps replaying in my head and I feel like a monster. Also, when I let a student use my phone to look at a picture for reference (art project) there was a search I made about birth control and how to know when to take a pregnancy test. I didn’t think much of it because I have absolutely nothing bad in my phone, but now I feel like I might be some groomer or monster. I definitely should go back to therapy but I just want to see if anybody had similar experiences/fears.

Hi friends! I have been really struggling with sleep problems lately because of my OCD. I either deal with nightmares related to my obsessions or unable to sleep with rumination. It seems like no matter what I try nothing helps. Has anyone else experienced this? Or have any suggestions to what has helped you? I appreciate you all 🙏🏼😊

I’ve had this problem for a few months I question if I actually believe myself, it could be something small like my fav color or if I really love someone. If I think I like something my brain automatically goes to “you only like it because you think people want you to like it” even if I’m saying that I like something in my head and no one would ever know, it’s just small things throughout my day like that; that have me questioning who I am and if I even know anything about myself. I don’t know if this is related to ocd and would like to know if anyone has experienced this.

My cat passed and I have fixated on a detail that I cannot shake. I made pawprints of his before he passed, and there was a mark on all the left paw Prints that I didn't recognize. Like an extra finger or thumb, and told myself "oh I have to check what that is before he passes away!" In the hectic nature of his last few days, I forgot to check. His body is still at the vets, and I have fixated on the idea of asking the vet to check what that mark was on his paw before he is cremated. I cannot get it out of my head. It is all I'm thinking about in regards to his death. I do not know if this will give me closure, I don't know if knowing what it is but not seeing it will help, but I am stuck on the idea that "this is something I will never know about my best friend" and that I will regret not asking about it forever. I logically know it's just his thumb, as some cats have thumbs, but it isn't on any of his right pawprints. I need help figuring out what my best step moving forward is.

Hi all, I’ve hit a low point in my life and I have no backup. Let me explain: Last December 2022, I graduated with my stupid PhD. Since then, I lost all my friends and family support system (except mom). Mom is the only one who listens to me, and I feel bad because I think it’s just the whole unconditional love thing. My friends cut ties with me because I wasn’t actively pursuing a machine learning career. Because ultimately, my PhD research proved to be completely useless and I did not focus on machine learning. It’s just not interesting to me, no matter how hard I try to make it work. Instead, I’m teaching which I like but not earning much money. My “friends” didn’t like it and instead asked me if I expected to do teaching my whole life like it was a bad thing. They were also critical of me on previous occasions, saying I’ll never find a girlfriend because I’m fat and overweight and short/ugly. And whenever we hung out, it was always doing the things that they wanted. So ultimately, I cut ties with them. They also did not attend my graduation or wished me a happy birthday… My brother also cut off ties with me, because I had a moment of anger when he started suggesting that I hit the gym and go on the whole self-improvement thing, which embraces stoicism. That I guess was the last straw that broke the camels back for him, so he completely cut me off. Then started getting angry and throwing things. And all because I had an OCD attack where I just couldn’t process all the information. I was quick to get triggered and raged at him, without thinking it through. Now I completely regret this, as I see how terrible I am. My dad also seems to be distancing himself from me, spending more time with my brother. Well, there you have it. Only mom talks to me, and she’s all I have now. And even she gets tired of my issues. She said that I should refrain from trying to make new friends, because I’m such an emotional wreck right now. But at the same time, I just see it nearly impossible to get through this time without good support. It’s me vs the entire world… And yes, I have a fair share of narcissistic tendencies, I am self aware of this but for some that same reason, I struggle to find a good therapist to treat NPD.

(I want this to be the first in a series of post that I’ll be making of my experiences. This will be the first time I truly share the horrors of my life. This may be difficult to read for some people but if your interested follow me and the series. Maybe we’ll build a little community out of this. Anyway thanks for reading) I have a very confusing mental relationship with my family. What I mean by that is idk how I truly feel about my family and I don’t understand the random feelings I get in difficult family situations. There’s a lot to unpack. There’s years of abuse and manipulation but I’ll just be converting a portion here. I also don’t mean that in the cliche social media I want attention way either I seriously mean abuse and manipulation in my family, it’s been like that since I was very young. Currently my mom’s kicking my dad out of the house. She just bought a new home and there’s no room for him, they’re separated and don’t sleep together. In our current living situation he sleeps on the couch but in our new one mom won’t allow that. My dad is actually my step-dad, he’s 6’9 400+ big dude, I never knew my biological father the man’s an enigma, but my step-dad appeared when I was 5 and he lacked a lot of things that make a dad a good dad. He had no empathy nor compassion, was extremely stern and unforgiving, a very do as I say not as I do kinda guy. He was also an extreme disciplinary and used very aggressive yelling and threats of not just whooping but to actually beat us like really mess us up. I say us because once my younger sister were born he did it to them too. He did this to attempt to keep us in line. Wither our actions actually warrant it or not. My dad doesn’t drink either he’s just the way he is. It’s been 16 years since his arrival in my life and I’ve suffered severe psychological affects from him. Yet after all he’s done which includes cheating on my mom, he’s getting put out and I can’t hello but get this deep inner feeling of heavy sadness. I don’t speak much to him and I keep my head down around him I never look at him. We have passing conversations and I perk up and act like everything’s fine In attempt to not raise suspicion on my feelings. I just walk around silent, but the silence is like screaming for me. I can’t even imagine how this is effecting my little sisters if it’s ripping me up like this. My older sister finds it funny and tells me what he and mom talk about or what she overhears. She recently told me three things she heard my dad say while talking with my mom. Each thing was from different conversations in different days and I think that fact made it worse for me for some reason. First she told me he said in regards to mom getting a new home he asked “Is there anything for me to sign?” My mom replied simply “No” he then said “I wish there was something for me to sign” That may not sound like much but I can just imagine how much that hurt him cuz I know it would hurt me. Secondly I was told he said “You make it sound like I can’t stay with y’all” At that point I realized he may get kicked out and that made me feel like I was sinking I instinctively disassociated and sunk within myself. I couldn’t make sense of what I was feeling. Lastly I actually heard this one from my mom and sister. My sister told me my mom sent him a list of apartments he should get cuz there’s no room for him in the new house. Then later that day my little sister asked my mom “where’s dad going to sleep?” My mom hung her head and just said “idk”. This man the guy who growing up I promised to never be like and if I became a father I’d be the dad I always wanted. The man I’d sit and cry, hiding from and learning exactly what his footsteps sound like to avoid him, I’m feeling sad for? It’s really only partial sadness but that sadness is heavy. Not seeing him around knowing he’s just out there somewhere maybe in the streets or living in a bad neighborhood idk. This whole thing it’s effecting me more than I thought it would and I’m just so uncomfortable. Idk what a home feels like so I’ve already never felt like I was home, I was just in a familiar place but things feel foreign now. I feel guilty in a way for everything. Maybe if I wasn’t so soft and affected by his actions maybe he’d still be part of the family. My OCD really loves to feel on that subject and it makes dealing with all this way harder. Thanks for reading pt 1 of me opening up. Ik it’s long but if you enjoy some reading please follow along.

I've been going back and forth about this for a while. I want to journal but I'm worried that journaling will only help to perpetuate obsessions. Alternatively, I feel like sometimes giving myself an outlet to be obsessive that's entirely self-contained might be a good idea. I find myself to be a verbal processor and simply getting ideas out of my head sometimes helps me to move on. The issue is that I will obsessively confide in another person and it hurts my relationship with them and journaling feels like a safer place to do it. Again though, I feel like the purpose of ERP is to be able to have those thoughts and simply not react to them and journaling would defeat that purpose. Do you guys have any thoughts on the matter?

Does anybody else’s intrusive thoughts come in the form of “delusional thoughts”? I’ve been in a terrible episode of hypochondria or ocd for the past 6 months where I have FULLY convinced myself I am developing schizophrenia, it started with becoming really easily overstimulated and not being able to concentrate and now it has spiraled out of control to where I am constantly getting intrusive thoughts center around demonic stuff, which i have never ever believed before, I have always been a skeptic. But now i get these thoughts all the time like “what if this song has hidden demonic meanings?” “What if your wife is a demon” “what if nobody is real and your just in hell” “what if this political figure is being controlled by the devil”, the typical kind of delusional thoughts you would expect from a schizophrenic. Keep in mind I am a literal atheist and all about facts, science and evidence, I am a skeptic. Not only does the fact that I’m even having these thoughts in the first place scare the life out of me, but I have to constantly battle with these thoughts in my head if I believe them or not. I feel like I have to constantly hold myself back from fully going off the deep end, I feel like I have to constantly disprove these thoughts and stop myself from believing them, but they feel so real and it’s scaring me so much. One part of me is like “why can’t we just stop worrying about this, this is delusional” and another part of me is like “what if I actually do need to worry about if these things are true or not, they FEEL true” and I’m just like “wtffff I shouldn’t have to worry about if things like this are true at all in the first Place!” I feel like I have fully lost my mind, and in no time I’m going to lose this little bit of insight I have. I hate these thoughts so much, I don’t want to think about them, but now that they are here, I feel like I can’t forget them. My dpdr is already making everything feel so off and weird and unreal and I feel like it’s only giving these thoughts more credibility and realness. I feel like this could also be partly a terrible form of existential ocd that’s being thrown into the mix with all these “what if thoughts”. Ugh I just want to be normal again ): but I don’t even know what normal feels like anymore because I’m constantly on the lookout for symptoms that I can’t even be normal anymore. Btw: yes I am seeing 2 therapists and a psychiatrist and all of them do not believe I am developing schizophrenia.