Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Hi there, this is my first time posting but I thought it would help me to talk to others going through the same issues. I have had repeated health issues within the last few years that have lead to extreme obsessive OCD over the most minor thing. Most recently I had sinus surgery and have been freaking out about getting a fungal sinus infection post surgery after discovering large amounts of mold in my apartment. I have an infection that my doctor wants to treat with antibiotics now but I can’t help thinking that it is something more serious that the doctor might have missed (because it says online that it is often missed by doctors). Everyone I am in pain from it I can not help but thinking the worst and while I try pushing myself through, I am always brought back to the same thought, that I will be dead within a few weeks. No matter what I try I can not seem to push past this and even with doing exposure therapy in the past, it was hard to do because I would be literally doing things doctors would say not to do that would get me sick. Maybe I gave up to early with the exposure therapy to early but my OCD is so episodic, I couldn’t just replicate the feelings for a session. Just looking for some advice from someone who has had to deal with similar stuff, would appreciate anything, thank you!

OCD is being mean again recently. If I come across a video of someone who has cancer, or some kind of ailment, I have to watch it with so much focus, read every caption perfectly, or I feel like I’ll get the same cancer or ailment. Totally irrational. I know. I keep telling myself so. Yet I can’t help but give into these compulsions. Because I know they’re compulsions, and I know it’s OCD. But there’s still a “what if” flicker in my head. “What if this feeling actually a warning and not OCD this time.” Part of it is my scrupulosity OCD. I feel like God is going to punish me for “not being compassionate” Or empathy, or caring enough by giving me the same ailment I ignored. Like a religious karma. And I’d like to say I KNOW for a fact God won’t do that, but OCD makes me believe other wise. What’s your experiences with this, even if it’s not religion OCD related.

So, last night i atarted my sertraline journey and i halfed 25mg into 2 halves and took one in the evening and one in the morning just so i could gauge how sensetive i am to them and after i took the first abt 12mg after an hour i noticed my head was instantly a bit more clear. Whether that was the medication or the fact that i was distracting myself i dont know but that has turned into a fear that the meds are working too fast and thats somehow a bad thing even though i cant find any reason why it would be anywhere. Then it turned into thoughts that im going manic somehow every time i laughed at something or smiled i would get thoughts saying im going manic or the next time i take a pill ill go manic or have an alergic reaction or something. The worst part is that my anxiety has been a bit better today than yesterday, but im still also obsessing and afraid but i dont feel it? Im genuinely really worried about what this means because i cant find a lot of info about it.

I had a great childhood but one bad thing happened and I feel like things just haven't been the same anymore. My teen years sucked and the start of my adult years aren't the greatest. I have good moments still, and there are very high moments but I'm mostly just not happy. I'm just not feeling the days anymore and OCD makes it so much worse. I just hope I can work out the past hurt, guilt, and shame. I try to shake it off but I just can't. I just remember it all over and over again and it's hard to let go of it. I really hope I can somehow get back to where I used to be. I'm mostly worried about how my addiction abuse affected my physical health. I'm always afraid that I'm going to catch a bad disease or that I won't make it the next day. I hate it. I just want to stop worrying and just live my life. I have a lot of good things in my life but I just can't let this stuff go.

Hi, I'm currently on 40mg of Prozac for my OCD anxiety and depression and I have a fear of never being able to get off of my meds. I've been on them for 8 years now and constantly changing the mgs. I don't wanna be dependent on medication anymore and I'm afraid I'm going to have to be on it forever. My psychiatrist just upped me to 50mg and says it's normal for people with ocd to take that much. I've never taken this much and I'm genuinely afraid going up more is gonna cause me to die or have a seizure or something bad. Im afraid I'm going to be at the highest dosage eventually and it is not gonna work for me because of my tolerance. I'm so terrified of possibly going back to being very depressed again.

For a long time now I've been having problems breathing and having a narrow airway so I constantly check my throat and have anxiety and thoughts about dying in my sleep choking or having an allergic reaction. Some nights it is very hard for me to sleep where I just am overthinking and hyperfixating on my throat to the point it feels like my airway is blocked and air can't get through. I do believe I have sleep apnea due to the fact I have nights where I wake up choking and coughing as well as making weird sounds at night. For this reason I am also terrified to eat in restaurants for having a fear of choking as well as sleeping with someone in fear of them hearing me snore and make weird noises. I also worry nobody including doctors will understand what I'm talking about or how I think. I just scheduled an ENT appointment after years of putting it off and I'm more scared of them not finding anything wrong with me. Id rather have something wrong with me so it can be solved. I am constantly thinking about the state of my throat and worried that I am going to die because I can't get a full breath of air.

It’s been 4 years since I started becoming so concerned about my heart rate and how I breathe. When it first started, I didn’t know what was happening. I thought it was asthma - I couldn’t take full breaths, my chest felt so heavy, I would get lighthearted, my pulse felt so low. After tons of medical tests, I discovered it was just anxiety and honestly I felt worse about that because it wasn’t just gonna go away. I have tried meds, cutting out caffeine, sleeping in certain positions, relaxation techniques. Nowadays, I usually fall asleep with my fingers on my neck so I can feel my pulse when I go to sleep (which is probably a compulsion and I should stop doing it but how do you stop doing something that makes you feel like you can breathe?). It gets in the way of my life dramatically - I get lightheaded at the gym, it keeps me up at night, it’s hard doing roadtrips and being in the car, I feel like I’ll randomly pass out at the grocery store. There are things I do that exacerbate it like drinking coffee but I love coffee and I just want to feel like a normal human being and do things that I enjoy. I’m saddened that through everything, it always comes back and I’m just so tired of it.

i want to feel human. i want to feel emotions how normal people feel them. i get everyone is different but i dont get it. everytime i feel human for a second i get a random feeling of discouragement and false sense of temporary joy. i want it to stop but it wont stop why wont they stop. ocd and bipolar are not a good combination

it started happening suddenly. i just get so scared when i take medication. i immediately look up the symptoms and i start to overthink that i am having the bad reactions. i have visited the er twice because of this. i dread getting prescribed something. it has made me stop taking all my antidepressants. i am terrified of having something wrong with me all the time too. any little chest pain i freak out and i try to tell myself its anxiety but another part of me thinks to the most extreme like a heart attack or pneumonia. i am not too sure where to start the journey to getting better about this.

I have ocd depression and anxiety and I have worked with psychiatrist in the past to try to find a good medication that worked for me. So far I haven’t had any success, I’ve tried about 5-6 different medication’s over the past 5 years but haven’t had much luck. I’m disappointed because I was really hoping that one of them would bring me some kind of relief, but they always end up giving me side effects (rashes, sweating, sleep problems, lowering libido). I read online that medication has been a big game changer for a lot of people and it motivates me to keep trying but the side effects affect my quality of life and I’m not sure if it’s worth it. Has anybody had a similar experience with medication? Should I keep trying? Also, my psychiatrist once mentioned that there’s genetic testing you could do to see which medication’s interact well with an individual, has anybody ever done that or had any luck?

I'm so scared because I gave my dog a plum but the pit was still in it whole. He normally doesn't chew stuff and just swallows it. He's swallowed pits before and nothing ever happens. He's a big dog too. Yet I had an intrusive thought telling me my dogs gonna die. So I looked it up out of a compulsion. It said it's toxic and I'm freaking out. Nothing seems to be the matter and he's comforting me because he can tell I'm scared. I can't stop thinking I'm a murder and did that on purpose and that I don't love my dog.

I have a sinus infection. I’m scared to take the meds because I have read that the meds can increase anxiety. I also read that a sinus infection can turn into meningitis. So now I’m terrified about that. I’ve convinced myself that I’m terribly ill and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m so tired but can’t sleep because I’m so anxious. I just can’t stop thinking that something horrible is going to happen but won’t take the meds because I’m scared they will make something horrible happen. This thought process is long and very repetitive. How do I break the cycle and start to feeling better? Being sick wreaks havoc in my nervous system. But so does taking the meds . I don’t know why to do anymore.

So my theme has revolved around the fear of having schizophrenia for about a year now, many therapist and mental health professionals told me they believe it’s a mix of ocd and hypochondria. Well my main symptom of this disorder is the fear of having delusions, so over the course of this year I’ve had thoughts ranging from “what if my wife is a demon” “what if this song means something” “what if there’s some hidden message in this movie” “what if the government created the world and controls everything” “what if Satan is the true creator of the world” “why did my cat look at me like that, what if he’s a spy created by the government, what if all animals are?” Literally crazy shit but it all feels so real, I’ve thought about this stuff so much that I’ve started to have almost an emotional detachment from the world around me, I’ll have thoughts like, “why should I care, nothings real anyway”. And now it’s starting to feel like my normal line of thinking, like now I genuinely feel like everything is fake or staged in some way, nothing feels real or genuine, it feels like everyone around me, the media, news, politics, all feels like some sort of big act or lie. Feels like there’s something more to reality that I’m missing or something, everything feels “too perfect”. I’ve lost all happiness in everything and I’ve become SO suspicious of every single thing, everything has to have some deeper meaning according to my brain, it sucks. Has anyone ever had the fear of schizophrenia and it got this bad?

My placement is started I have many fears related to ocd, patients, me and Nursing. Example contamination then reassurance that I will not get infected. Then health related ocd. Other thing is which is not ocd is I hate getting up early in cold weather and go for job. Maybe I have trauma to start a day and managing time for patients which now creep me out that how will i manage just a placement and how will I do job. Also always thinking in advance how will I enter in hospital, whom I will ask where I'm working, am I in right hospital because it's first day if not iam already late. Any suggestions to motivate myself for doing placement I actually kind of gave up and it's the last placement of nursing

Hi there I suffered with health ocd and am currently getting over being sick and being on antibiotics. I feel that my ocd symptoms have gotten much worse the week I’ve been on the medicine helping me get better. Has anyone else had a similar experience or just me? Also any help with health anxiety intrusive thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Anyone else suffering with severe health anxiety? I’ve been a sufferer for years. About a month and a half ago I got a tickle in my throat and I couldn’t stop clearing my throat. Of course my mind went straight to throat cancer. Now my throat is tight, I feel like I have a lump in my throat, and I can’t stop googling my symptoms. I had an ultrasound done of my throat and I’m still waiting for the results. My doctor told me I have nothing to worry about but I’m not going to stop worrying until I get the results and see my ENT. Anyone else ever get the tight throat? It almost feels like you’re being choked? It’s hard to believe it’s just anxiety. I’m so exhausted of feeling this way 😔

So my theme has revolved around the fear of having schizophrenia for about a year now, many therapist and mental health professionals told me they believe it’s a mix of ocd and hypochondria. Well my main symptom of this disorder is the fear of having delusions, so over the course of this year I’ve had thoughts ranging from “what if my wife is a demon” “what if this song means something” “what if there’s some hidden message in this movie” “what if the government created the world and controls everything” “what if Satan is the true creator of the world” “why did my cat look at me like that, what if he’s a spy created by the government, what if all animals are?” Literally crazy shit but it all feels so real, I’ve thought about this stuff so much that I’ve started to have almost an emotional detachment from the world around me, I’ll have thoughts like, “why should I care, nothings real anyway”. And now it’s starting to feel like my normal line of thinking, like now I genuinely feel like everything is fake or staged in some way, nothing feels real or genuine, it feels like everyone around me, the media, news, politics, all feels like some sort of big act or lie. Feels like there’s something more to reality that I’m missing or something, everything feels “too perfect”. I’ve lost all happiness in everything and I’ve become SO suspicious of every single thing, everything has to have some deeper meaning according to my brain, it sucks. Has anyone ever had the fear of schizophrenia and it got this bad?

Hi everyone. Has anyone's OCD skyrocketed after an abusive relationship and/or after having children? I've always had some version of OCD but two years ago in February of 2022, I experienced this really horrible bout of DPDR. I lost my sense of self, I was having really strange spiritual thoughts or existential thoughts. I was in an abusive relationship at the time. I'm still recovering from that. But my OCD jumps around. Today, I was worried I was having a brain aneurysm because of a mild headache and because I'm prescribed Lexapro for my depression/anxiety and a low dose of adderall for my adhd. I've been on these meds for a while with no issues but I am now getting thoughts like," maybe I'll have a stroke or an aneurysm from my meds." With no reason to think so. And then I spend hours googling. The health anxiety and death anxiety are fueled by a fear of my kids being without a mother (I'm a single mother.) in some ways, the fear has helped me to make healthier choices but these thoughts of death and the million things that can cause it are taking away from the joy of living. The DPDR seemed to kick this off. Does it ever get better? I exercise, meditate, pray, talk therapy, I just want to feel like "me" again.

I have always had a naturally high hair line that wasnt straight and leaned towards a slight M shape but the last few months i think its gotten worse. I am 19 and desperately do not want to lose hair. I constantly am looking in the mirror, feeling my temples, researching and obsessing over my hair and i dont know what to do. It may seem vain but hair is very important to me, and i dont think id care as much when i am older to lose it but i am so young and am worried about finding a wife and being in a small minority for having hairloss this young. My grandfather on my mothers side is almost 80 and still has decent amount of hair, my hairline is also similar to his and photos from when he was my age show a high hairline, however my father is bald and started to recede in late 20s. This may seem trivial to most but it is taking over my life and is all i can think about, and the kicker is is that if i am balding, stress will make it worse, so i then stress about that too. There are two medications that do well against hairloss, minoxidal (topical) and finasteride (oral). Minoxidal supports regrowth and finasteride supports the halting of futher balding. Finasteride is notorious for sexual and mental health side effects since it stops the conversion of testosterone to DHT, another androgen that deals with these side effects and hair loss. I am constantly debating taking it or not taking it but i have read horror stories about the medication and dont want to (literally) ruin my life (you can read up on it if youd like). Help or advice would be much appreciated.

Hello all, I was hoping to get some advice. I am recovering from surgery and I suffer from health/somatic OCD so it's very difficult to not think every ache and pain is something dangerous and life-threatening. I was hoping I could get some advice about how to deal with intrusive thoughts triggered by bodily pain as I heal. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!