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Because is controlling my life

Dr has prescribed me Lexapro for ocd until I can get in to see a psych eventually, I’m about to start therapy in January aswell…. Was just wondering if anyone has had positive experiences with Lexapro? I know everyone is different, so maybe I could just ask for anyone who has found a medication that works for them, I just wanted to know a thorough explanation of how it makes you feel & how it has helped with your intrusions/ocd… I am quite nervous to try it because of side affects and fear it’s just another trial error phase…. I have quit smoking pot and going to stick with taking it same time every day where as in the past with 2 previous meds I was still smoking and not having a routine with when I took the meds. So obviously it didn’t work properly… can someone just give me a bit of hope, please?

Sometimes I feel absolutely fine, then the next few moments I’m gasping for air and it feels like it won’t fill my lungs no matter how hard I try. Sometimes it comes on so suddenly without me consciously thinking about it so I’m having a really hard time differentiating between what’s physically happening and what’s caused by somatic OCD. I wonder at times if it’s a mix of both, but either way it’s a terrible feeling and makes me feel dizzy, weak and anxious. I want to break this cycle so badly but I don’t know how to tackle it. Breathing should be such an easy, mundane thing but now it takes everything in me just to make it through each episode.

I have severe acid reflux and I haven’t been eating recently due to pseudo-dysphasia. But I had crazy chest pain and burning today at work that radiated to my back. I don’t know what’s a real sensation anymore or something created in my head. I have been is so much pain today that I broke and gave into the compulsion of going to the ER. Well shocker it didn’t make me feel better. Have had hundreds of tears done on my body and to see how my heart is and they say my heart is really healthy. Why can’t I just live and not convince myself that I’m having a heart attack .

Guys I’ve been very hesitant about getting on meds but my OCD thinking has gotten really bad. So I decided to just get fluoxetine and start it. But my reservations about meds is carrying over into my ocd and i’m scared when I take the medicine i’m going to start freaking out due to “placebo” in a way. Like i am going to start getting symptoms or freaking out and wanting to throw up the meds or something idk

To start off, yes I have a therapist, yes I have a psychiatrist and so far I am only diagnosed with ptsd, ocd, gad, hypochondriasis, and panic disorder. So for the past 5 months I’ve been dealing with a terrible ocd/hypochondria theme where I have COMPLETELY convinced myself I am in the beginning stages of schizophrenia or some other related horrific psychotic disorder. Ive read way too much on common delusions, symptoms, hallucinations, personal stories, Reddit stories etc. Anyway, for some reason my ocd has really latched on to the common symptom schizophrenics have which are religious delusions, at least I hope it’s just my ocd and not actually schizophrenia. Everyday I get these terrible existential/demonic “delusional thoughts”. Like “what if my wife is a demon” “what if my cat is a demon” “this song has demonic energy” “the face that person made was demonic” “this house has negative demonic energy” “what if you are possessed” “what if these ugly brown mushrooms growing in your yard are a sign of demonic energy”, shit like that. Literally everything I look at now has some sort of “negative energy” or feels eerie or “demonic”, everything I look at always has to have some sort of malicious intent or negative undertone, I can’t watch anything on YouTube anymore, I can’t listen to my favorite bands anymore like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc, these thoughts have made me become so avoidant of dark things and even normal light hearted things! Now first off, I am a literal atheist, I am a complete skeptic, I have never ever been superstitious. I was a huge Marilyn Manson fan in my teens, I’m a horror movie junkie( or at least I used to be before this theme took over), i literally have shirts with pentagrams and upside down crosses etc. why has my ocd suddenly branched off into this religious ocd/delusional thinking? Is this maybe a dp/dr thing too? I know for sure that every single one of these thoughts and feelings are untrue and very unlikely. I do not believe any of these thoughts at all, yet the fear they create and the vibes that accompany them make it feel almost real. When I’m in full blown panic and start to spiral really bad sometimes I feel like I almost believe these thoughts, and feel paranoid almost, when the anxiety and fear passes though I can have a brief moment of clarity where I can laugh these thoughts off and almost be myself again, but it’s very short lived before these thoughts start creeping back up. The content of the thoughts is scaring me but the fact that I’m even having these types of thoughts and fears in the first place is scaring me even more because it is reinforcing my fears that I am becoming schizophrenic/psychotic. Why have I suddenly become like this? I can’t enjoy anything anymore without getting these awful awful thoughts. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?

Has anyone taken shrooms or micro dosed before? I’m thinking about it but idk how it will effect someone with bad anxiety and ocd

Hi all, first post. Long time health and somatic ocd sufferer, now debilitated with anxiety and a new depression over death - not in a suicidal way - and the afterlife. I can't accept that everyone I love will die, or just human mortality in general. I am grieving something very intensely that hasn't even happened yet. I can't stop thinking about the unstoppable march of time towards death. I can't accept the idea that what is so special in this world - or my world - will be erased. I feel like I will never get over this. I do have beliefs - I'm a progressive Christian, and family members of mine have had experiences of deceased family members on their deathbeds. However, my OCD mind cannot accept uncertainty. How can I - or anyone - be okay if we don't know what happens when people die? I feel like I'm going absolutely insane, and I will never be happy again.

I missed my Zoloft dose this morning… will you his cause the medication to stop working if I take it again in the morning?

Today I was brave enough to go out, together with my toddler, and walk to the church house, where I was going to meet the priest to have a chat about my struggles. As the Lutheran church has been so welcoming to me, I felt entitled to do so. The priest has been so kind every time I have met him, that I was very confident about today, and despite the very harsh weather (we were -17°C with feels like -24°C) I would much preferred to have stated home, but I didn't. I did my best to be there. Still I didn't make it on time. I had to call the priest 2 times to apologize and let him now we were almost there. I explained him, my baby girl she is still slow to walk in so much winter clothing and shoes, and it was so cold. I somehow knew I shouldn't have gone there. But I thought it was my OCD sending me negative or intrusive thoughts. The priest wasn't the same today, he seemed to disconnected from the conversation, he wasn't happy today, he seemed bored and not interested in talking, I got confused and uncomfortable, since he invited me to go and talk. He insisted me on saying hello to the deacon there, but I was very scared to so so, since she just came back yesterday from Africa, she was there more than a month. So I was so worried thinking: "what if" she brought a disease home? Since no one told me, what was she really doing there and where, they just said on service, it's not so hard to assume perhaps she was in some place assisting people in need and maybe suffering from some diseases. Still they introduced myself to her, she didn't seem any nice, she seemed to not to be eager to meet me, as in the past due to extreme fear and isolation I was into, I failed to visit her and talk to her I guess she must have remained me. She had handshake with me (which I got so nervous) and then she came close to my child to greet her. But I got even more nervous. After all, I came home, took long shower, gave one long shower to my toddler also. I couldn't handle the anxiety about: "what if the deacon is ill without having visible symptoms yet, since she had to take several planes and being at airports, and maybe to have been around people who was very vulnerable and ill? So I decided to send an sms to a colleague of the deacon, I have met her a couple of times and she seemed nice. After I wrote the message, before I even sent it I thought I didn't want my question to be misunderstood and get them upset with me or think something wrong, so I asked to the chatgpt to re write the message in a very respectful way. So the AI did it. I sent it, it took several hours until I got a response. When I got the response I was so hurt by her words. She never even answer my questions. She just said something like this: Paulina, I'm so sorry to hear you feel this way, I'm worried and very convinced you need professional help with all of this... Among other few words she wrote. I felt like she tried to say that I'm crazy. It's something I have noticed here, people tends to be rude or to sharp to say things about mental health. To suffer from anxiety and OCD its not to be crazy or insane. To struggle from this psychological disorders doesn't make me stupid, crazy or dangerous. I suffer from this all the day every day. It makes my life a hell, the last thing I need is someone being rude and treating me as a crazy or mentally impared person. I'm not. After thinking a while about germs words I wrote her an answer and I cried my eyes out. I feel more calm now. But it feels so hard to live in a society where people has so much ignorance about OCD and how badly affects the life on the individuals who suffer from it. I wish people was more empathetic, kind and supportive. Instead being harsh and rude. The only good thing here is I was outside with my daughter, and I tried despite all, to recognize my effort and to feel I did one thing different today. I hope someone can share with me if you