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i wake up with bad racing and intrusive thoughts. had a super bad one about hurting my dog and now i’m having a hard time being around her. i’m so sad

So, this evening I was cutting my kids nails and toenails and when it was my son’s turn, i was cutting his toenails and one started bleeding, well I’m like oh my gosh, did I mean to do that and so on. Well in my mind I was like what is that happens again, it did on the second one, mind you his toenails are weird. But I start stressing and think what if I wanted to and thought what if I meant to do it. I just need to ask has this happened to anyone?? I’ve been going through a lot of stress lately. And when I cut my daughter’s nails it was fine.

These past couple days, Ive had 2 huge panic attacks in a row. I’m getting worried because they were kind of the worst theyve ever been. I couldn’t function at all and if my partner weren’t with me, I’m afraid I wouldnt have been able to move or get up. I was convulsing and couldnt stop having the worst intrusive thoughts. I was so disappointed in myself that I started having super intense suicidal thoughts and couldn’t speak. I really hate ocd. I ruined some of the most fun days that were planned out in a trip too. Idk what to do anymore

Hey so for almost the past year I’ve had thoughts and fears of hurting a loved one I’m not completely sure if it’s OCD, so I’m here asking for a confirmation or help because I’m 16 and I really wanna find out how I can help this. It usually calms down and starts again. The thoughts usually involve a sibling getting hurt by me. I’m kinda lost on what to do.

Hello I am worried I've been taking fluoxetine for almost 3 weeks now I'm taking 2 pills of 20 mg every 24 hrs But my suicidal thoughts have increased and that's saying too much since death has always scared me Also I've been feeling a bit angry like impulsive I made the mistake of reading some people that has committed murder while taking Prozac and idk Maybe it's my ocd but I'm scared and sad I feel bad and alone I'm not sure if I should keep taking the medicine They say things get better with time but I'm not sure

Does it ever piss you off that other people can just think normally and not get triggered by the smallest things? Like I’m in debate class right now and this girl is practicing her speech and keeps repeating the phrase “then she wouldn’t have been raped and beaten” and I’ve had MAJOR rape ocd issues in the past so it just kinda triggers me and it got me wondering and kinda pissed off about how normal people think you know what I mean??

I have all of these and im just asking because I always thought nobody would ever understand how much is constantly going on in my head all at once, all the time, everyday. Sometimes there's so much in my head i feel suicidal purely out of wanting a break from so much constantly going on, feeling like it's never going to stop and I can't handle it, and that nobody gets it or ever will. Like there's so many different layers of thoughts and anxieties that connect to triggering each other every day all the time that I don't want to have to even try to navigate any of it anymore... Does anyone else feel this way...

I don’t know what to say. I feel a bit lost to be honest with my thoughts. They feel so real, they actually hurt so much. Why do I find myself comparing to my boyfriends and my friends? I’m not them, they got nothing to deal with me. It’s just that I feel the need to prove I have it worse, and to do that is to partake in actual harm. I have been feeling really low lately, honestly I feel like I’m losing it. It’s a scary feelings to think unaliving myself may be an option for me but I don’t want to do that. In all the hardships in life, there is so good in there. I have my boyfriend , I got good grades, I have a good home life I guess, I have friends and other amazing things too. It sad to say but I kinda need some comfort to know I’ll be fine. I feel like I’m at the end of my ropes right now. When people tell me their struggles I compare them to my own. When people give me advice, I overthink it. When I have something hope it gets torn apart. My heart hurts a lot. I feel like even if I do pass I’ll just be another number, like a casualty and no one would care. But that’s not true, people do care about me enough that they want me to live. I’m just so tired of feeling this way. I need help. But I feel like I don’t? God fucking damn it leave me the hell alone. I didn’t do nothing at all. I’m a good person I have morals and I have everything that is fit for me. But why go for everything I care about huh? Let me heal in peace. I can’t even pick up a fucking pencil with other thinking about whenever I could draw good, or even take a breather. it’s disabling its fucked and it’s hurts. Leave me alone. I’m too young to bear this pain. Living isn’t supposed to be a chore. It supposed to be something to look toward to the happy things in life. I fear I’d slip one day and do something awful to myself. It takes more than two painkiller to kill you right? I won’t do anything bad. Maybe I shouldn’t consider this though. I feel like I’ve reach pure insanity with my mental health. Maybe I am depressed or something. God I need help. But why do people try to even help me? Why do they care? I feel myself switching. I’m trying my best to not believe anything my thoughts are telling me. I feel so awful to the point I feel happy. What type of sick shit is this? I do care. But at the same time I feel nothing. This is terrifying and torturous. Please help me. What is this?

When he was a newborn I gave my baby an open mouth kiss (jaw opening) on his head. I’ve never seen anybody else kiss their kids like that. He’s almost a year old and I can’t get past it. I do it on camera on my hand in mirrors and on used to do it on my son’s head and cheek as a checking compulsion. One time I was checking on his cheek and he turned his head so it landed on his lips. I feel disgusted. I feel like that’s something that only happens between romantic partners. Also when he was 3-4 months old I was lightly stroking his back, the side of his leg, and then the inner thigh. I felt an intense amount of anxiety the entire time. I feel like I SA’d him with the inner thigh part. I’d compulsively check to see how far the crease of his diaper was from his private out of fear. I just want to be a good mother but I feel like a monster.

I'm already going through so much. I just wish I could get it into my head that these memories of bad things are actually memories of intrusive thoughts I had that day, and not of real actions, because a person with OCD would never do what they most repudiate and abhor and which goes against their principles, and at that time I was already dealing with OCD, I was already avoiding small things for fear of causing harm. I didn't check everything like I do today because I didn't know how the rituals worked, but I always tried to be vigilant so as not to harm anyone, because the intrusive thoughts were intense and I was afraid they would come true. Apart from the fact that my little cousin has never changed with me, he loves me so much, he's affectionate, there's never been a sign that I've hurt him. He remembers little things from back then, he would remember something bad, right? But then it comes into my mind that he was asleep/sleepy and so might not remember. All the bad possibilities run through my mind and sometimes I get distressed, because I love him so much and it horrifies me to imagine that I might have done something bad to him. I don't have the strength to deal with all my problems and these OCD issues, I just want to come to a conclusion and get on with my life, because as well as the OCD I have other problems, such as my finances. Jesus, I feel like I'm going mad sometimes. I've talked about it here before, I know it's wrong to seek confirmation, but I need to get it off my chest, I'm already in physical pain from other problems, so having all these things on my mind makes it worse. I just wanted someone to help me, I'm desperate.

If anyone suffers with OCD harm or other OCD subtypes. ✨♥️ you’re not alone. Even though the my battle with OCD is won through the blood of Jesus. I have more healing to do. I’ve went through the compulsions (temptations); and the hospital visits for chest pains , and was sent home 🏡 because they didn’t see anything wrong , it hits spiritually. It’s spiritual warfare that’s why we are to put on the full armor of God to fight against principalities of the dark world. 🌎 it saddens me that for generations we have been suffering. Let’s turn our lives over to Jesus and let him help us.

So everytime I have a relapse and look for adult content I only strictly look for adults that are involved. Usually fictional ones because that way no harm is possibly done to real people but sometimes I don't get triggered by real adult models as long as I'm aware of their age. Unfortunately, I still come across really disturbing things whether I click on channels to find more content of the same person or other adults and it'll have disturbing content with people I think are underaged. Sometimes it's content of characters that I know are minors but people age them up and that disturbs me the most. I don't get why people do this and I find it disgusting. I never click on these videos because they're disturbing to me and I only go for adults that are simply adults. I hate that this stuff shows up and it triggers my POCD and then I think something bad is gonna happen because I scrolled past those videos even though I didn't want to see them in the first place. I've been trying to stop watching all of this stuff for years and I'm still struggling with it. Content with younger people is the absolute last thing I'd ever want to see and I hate that people make stuff like that and it just stays on websites somehow

I honestly don’t know what I should do. I mean I’ve never had any proper treatment ever, but I know I have ocd because of the pain it’s causing. My current obsession right now is a bit dangerous because I feel like I have to hurt myself to prove I have it worse because if I don’t, how would anyone care at all? Ew, this is is scary I feel like I’m on the ends of my rope, if I don’t follow any compulsions I feel like I’m actually losing it. I’m shaking right now, I do want to live I do want live Please give me a solution I feel genuinely insane I don’t like this And when I do get help I feel like I don’t deserve it and it should be me that has to take it all in I don’t want to be like this anymore I’m tired of following my awful intrusive thoughts I can’t even live life with struggling at all

Real events OCD combined with hocd and pocd and harm ocd is making me feel so horrible... Ive made horrible mistakes as a child that I deeply regret (9-13) and now Im 22 about to turn 23... I feel like I dont deserve forgiveness cause of my childhood mistakes...

even though i really don’t want to kill anyone, it feels inevitable. like one day i’m going to snap and it’s going to happen. the thought of that keeps me so scared and stuck.

i see so many stories of mothers going through postpartum psychosis and then harming their children and it scares me so bad to the point idk if i want to have kids. what if that happens to me when/if i have children? anyone else have this fear :(

Hello i was a porn addict for 16 years. Iam 25 abused alkohol and was sex addicted to girls never could have enough. Few months ago i was heavily drunk and without knowing ended up sleeping with a trans which i regret heavily I developed HOCD heavily which confused me and brought me to suicidal thoughts i was so confused that i actually believed that iam gonna turn trans without me wanting it then it developed to be scared that i could kill myself without wanting it. I want to just turn normal as i was can anyone help me ?

Can intrusive thoughts be so intense? It seriously feels like someone else is in my brain. My thoughts consist of “What if I just..” “It would be so easy…” and they are horrible so so so horrible. I hate these thoughts so much but why do they feel this way. I would never ever do any of these things but sometimes I can’t help but think what if I do? What if I give in. It’s so terrifying. Does anyone else experience intrusive thoughts that genuinely feel like it’s you for a second and then you feel immense regret?

I find myself in an incredibly difficult and distressing situation, and I desperately need your help and guidance. The contamination and health concerns related to my OCD have taken an almost complete hold over my life. What's worse, my husband has been manipulating me for years, exacerbating my OCD and causing immense emotional pain. It started gradually, with him making hurtful remarks, seemingly incapable of finding happiness when I was happy. As my OCD worsened, his behavior became more extreme. He took my beloved dog to the basement, claiming it was a threat to me. However, he didn't stop there. He started using derogatory and offensive names for my dog, such as "satan dog" and "fucking dog." Every day, he expresses his hatred towards my dog, saying he hates dogs. This relentless emotional abuse has only served to worsen my OCD. In addition to the emotional torment, I have endured several traumatic experiences, including three painful miscarriages, constant fights with my husband, prolonged separation from my family for seven years, a pervasive feeling of unsafety, and the isolation imposed by the COVID-19 pandemic. Rather than supporting me through these challenges, my husband has made it his mission to make me feel worse. He frequently works long hours, leaving me alone for at least 12 hours each day, with no relatives or friends to turn to for support. To add to my distress, my husband has bombarded me with distressing news and videos, particularly those depicting plane disasters. Consequently, I have developed an intense fear of boarding planes, which hinders any possibility of being reunited with my family. This fear has also spilled over into other aspects of my life, making it impossible for me to go out or even open items from the grocery store due to obsessive thoughts about contamination. What concerns me even more is the mistreatment of my dog. My husband has locked him in a small transport box, leaving him in darkness throughout the day. He keeps the key with him and has purposely created obstacles, such as leaving trash and disgusting items, to prevent me from accessing my dog. Yesterday, he even threatened to kill my dog, a threat he has made multiple times before. I have pleaded with him to give my dog away to someone who will care for him, but he adamantly refuses. He has also made disturbing comments about getting rid of his cokatiel. The constant fear of harm to my beloved pets and to myself and my baby is consuming me. In my desperation, I suggested divorce as a way to escape this torment. I promised not to ask for anything but to leave with my baby, as my husband shows no interest in our child and often ignores us. His indifference and disconnection have become glaringly apparent. Although he claims he would never hurt us, his demonstrated intent to harm innocent lives — our pets — leaves me doubting his words. If he is capable of such cruelty, I fear he could easily harm us as well. He seems bored and annoyed by our presence. Adding to my distress, I feel trapped and unable to seek help from authorities due to his threats. He has warned me that if I reach out for help, he will manipulate the custody of our baby, blaming it all on my mental health struggles. Furthermore, my lack of citizenship complicates matters, making it even more challenging to find a way out. I have tried to confide in my family, but they refuse to listen, believing my husband to be a good person. I desperately long to return to my home country, but the distance of over 11,000 km makes it seem impossible. If my pets are harmed, I fear I will never be able to regain a sense of normalcy. My husband consistently blames me for everything, compounding my heartbreak and leaving me shattered. I implore you, the members of this forum, to offer any advice, support, or resources that could help me escape this abusive situation. Your guidance and assistance in finding a way to safety would mean the world to me. I feel utterly brokenhearted and in dire need of your help. Thank you for taking the time to read my plea. I eagerly await your responses and appreciate any assistance you can provide.

Have any of you ever experienced OCD and driving? It does to me. I’m constantly afraid to drive alone or I’m afraid I’ll get into an accident with someone. I’m trying hard to cope with it by saying affirmations and meditations before I get behind the wheel. Does anyone else with OCD experience this?