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Sometimes I'll have the general feeling Something Bad is going to happen. Is this common with OCD?

I don't know what this is but I don't think I can take another thing wrong with me. Everything in my life is going down hill and I'm so afraid of more things that would impact the quality of my life. So I was really worried about my eyes for a bit and then out of nowhere I started focusing and seeing sort of like static or pixels or noise when looking at a plain wall. I'm okay when I'm distracted though. Then today I was out on a walk and I noticed when I'm looking at the trees when it's a bit dark I can see that noise, static mostly when I don't focus on something. I'm so scared it's visual snow. I've also been really focusing on eye floaters. I can't take another thing wrong with me. I want to cry:(

As a high schooler, I hung out with the wrong crowd... while I wasnt the type of student to vape or drink or get myself arrested, I would listen to my friends and laughed when they talked about making fun of people who didn't deserve it... or listening in on, or looking at dirty secrets about people we interacted with... as an adult, as someone who has grown and matured, I feel bad for participating in this type of behavior, and while i didn't initiate or partake in these behaviors that my friends personally did, i feel like me listening in or laughing makes me feel like a bad human being... im about to be 23 now, and these events occured when i was 16-17... i feel like a bad human being and my intrusive thoughts love to tell me how horrible of a person i am now... i genuinely regret it... i want to be a good person who does good things...

Hello I am new to this but I have this intense huge fear of developing or becoming slowly schizophrenia. I have a parent who had it and every since then I fear I will meet the same fate and I want the thoughts to stop I have ADHD and GAD and some depression lately and all that fuels my fears cause I don’t understand all my disorders but I question my reality and it scares me I feel blank at time and I feel scared all the time with what ifs playing over and over and then I get stuck look for reassurance and certainty that I am ok. I have three boys and one has autism who self harms and when I try to sleep I fear I will believe my dreams are real and loosing my mind and my reality and my anxiety goes up more. I don’t know what to do and there are no specialist near me that can help and I can’t afford anything and this app doesn’t accept my insurance I really want to feel better and not be stuck isolated and scared to leave for fear I will show signs in front of people and not realize when I will be gone from reality I wanna cry everyday and I feel like I need to run away. Can someone please tell me I am not alone. And the more I read about it the more I get confused or believe I have those things. I am scared help 🥺

So.. I'm not okay. I'm not doing okay right now. For this week I haven't really been okay. I don't think I've ever really been as happy as I used to be since high school began. I can still be happy and laugh at things and enjoy some parts of my day, but I'm not fully enjoying these things. There's always things I'm worrying about. There's always imperfections that I notice about myself. There's a lot that I need to work on, and it's been here. OCD hitting me in 2020 made everything in life even harder than it already was. For four years now, I've been struggling with this. Horrible anxiety that is making me question everything about my life. The things around me, myself, and the future. There's things around me that aren't in my control that are bothering me and things in my control that are bothering me. All I can do is try to distract myself from these things, but that's becoming harder and harder. Lately, I've had a terrible relapse in my OCD and it's caused me panic. I was feeling absolutely horrible about something that I remembered a couple of years ago. It led me back to my old habits and everything came back full force. I'm just not happy at all. I'm not happy with myself. I'm suffering from OCD and it's not fair. I have extremely low self esteem, I don't believe in myself often, and all I see are the problems that I have. The mistakes. The screw ups. There are good things that happen, but they never seem to outweigh the bad ones. I really hope medication will help me with this. I can't really take dealing with this anymore. I don't even know where adulthood would have been like without OCD. It hit me when I was 18. In questioning so much about my life and I don't feel like I'm ready to handle all of this. I don't feel like I'm ready for the adult world at 22 and it just doesn't feel like I've prepared myself for this. I'm not really sure how I can to begin with though. There's someone that I fancy in life. They're an introvert like me. We have common interests. I love seeing them. I love talking with them, even if it's not much. I love listening to them talk so much. I just really enjoy their company. But I'm not ready. I don't feel like I deserve to be with this person because of all of my problems that I'm dealing with. My OCD. My 10 year porn addiction. My low self esteem. My worrying. My relapses. I'm just not ready. I'm really trying to just find myself as an adult in the world. It feels like I can't really live my life because of OCD picking on me in any way that it can. I just don't know what to do. I get vivid images in my head. They sometimes enter my dreams. I compared my childhood to my adulthood and it hurts. A lot. I just don't feel well. There's things and people that I'm thankful for. There's things and people that I appreciate. There's things and people that I cherish. I wish those were all easier to focus on. Instead, I'm constantly thinking about things I can't change. Bad habits that I have trouble undoing. Mistakes that I wish I hadn't done when I was younger. Things I wish I knew at the time. Should've. Would've. Could've. I guess I just want to go back to life where I was hopeful about things. When I didn't have any reason to doubt something or someone. Or even myself. Back when I could have so much fun with things without a care in a world. Back when I could truly live my life. I want to cry but I just don't feel like it. I just want to be able to forgive myself. Believe in myself. And not worry about myself so much. I just want my life back. I just want to be where I used to be. I just want to be OCD free.

not really sure how to categorize this but I’ve been consumed with anxiety and fear for a few days now and I’m having an extremely hard time coping with it. I’ve been obsessing over dying recently but not in the sense that I am suicidal or thinking of harming myself, more so of how afraid I am that one day I’m going to die and that everyone I know and have ever known will also eventually die. I keep getting intrusive thoughts about me dying and different scenarios all in which I realize I am about to die. It’s been incredibly distressing especially since I can physically feel my chest tighten and myself panicking as soon as I think too much about it. The bigger issue lies in that I can’t help but ruminate over the thoughts which eventually leads to a panic attack. I’ve been crying over these thoughts for the last hour and I just can’t seem to make them stop and none of the exercises have helped because somehow someway I end up thinking about it all over again. I’m not sure if anyone else has dealt with this kind of intrusive thought or existential crisis. It’s just been even more difficult for me because for the most part I’ve felt happy this past month and have made progress with my symptoms and my overall anxiety. It feels like I just took 10 steps backwards in my progress due to this random surge of thoughts. Anyways, sorry for the long post. Writing this all out has helped calm me down a bit even if I don’t end up being able to sleep tonight 🥹

I think I have harm OCD, along with many other types of OCD. I have a call set up with a therapist on here tomorrow. I’ve been scared for practically my whole life to reach out for help, because I’m just embarrassed and don’t want anyone to think I’m crazy. My OCD started with hair pulling at a young age, but into adulthood has turned into so many things. The most distressing one being harm OCD, which presents as a fear of knives (I keep them all put up and hidden and never use them, they are gifts so I can’t throw them out or I would) as well as fear of being schizophrenic, having a psychotic break, or a demon possessing me as silly as that may sound. The demon thing started when I decided I wanted to be Christian, and now I’m scared of saying something and thinking god won’t like me anymore. It causes me a lot of distress and nobody I know understands it. Just wanted to know that there is more people out there like me, I feel so alone even surrounded by the people that “know” me the most.

My first post on this forum. I just need to vent a bit. I have been dealing with OCD for about 10 years. I probably relapsed about 20 times now. Most recently 2 months ago for no particular reason other than becoming a father a month earlier which i guess was some kind of positive stress that triggered me. And this time our friend is really having a go with me. Especially now i am on vacation and have nothing much to do in the mornings which causes anxiety so severe i threw up in the first hour of waking up 2 days in a row now. I'm doubting every last od my positive feelings. Am i suicidal, how is my family going to feel if i kill myself, is it ever going to be better, how can i take care of my kid if i'm like this, am i going to throw up every day now? I started going to CBT last month in adsition to my 100 mg of SSRI . Hope it gets better soon ffs 😮‍💨

I’ve been taking Zoloft for 5 and 1/2 weeks. The first two weeks were 25mg and up to 50mg when upped in the dose I felt my mind quite down more for about a week. I’ve had so many themes of OCD from harm, SO, Existencial. For about 3 months I’ve had really bad depression and my OCD is really just hyper focusing on my depression mainly because I hadn’t felt this bad in over 4 years. I thought I had OCD beaten and it destroys me the fact that it came back with a vengeance. I’ve also obsessed over the fact that I can’t sleep at times which feeds the viscous cycle. Anyway back to the Zoloft, I’ve been in 50mg for 3 and half weeks and I honestly feel like ass my depression is bad. It never really went away but it’s bad now I also made the mistake to keep drinking alcohol which I swear to not take an other sip as long as I’m on this med. I don’t drink on the regular just when I would go out with my friends. anyone can relate in terms of the medicine ? Im really debating wether I should speak to my psychiatrist to discontinue the meds.

My ocd is really bad right now. Two days ago out of nowhere I thought what if I have dyslexia and that really made me anxious... I read fine except in front of other people because I get anxious. And then yesterday I woke up and it seems like I read slower in my mind than usual. I don't know how to explain it but doesn't feel right. I'm very scared. I know you can't get dyslexia overnight hahahaha but I'm scared something else is wrong:(

i cant even use sleep as an escape now, i just had the most gut wrenching dream ive ever had. Usually i dont grt vivid dreams, and if i do than its a underlying fear of something that i wad already worrying/thinking about. But i haven’t thought about the moon exploding, like in a longggg time. It’s comforting to search up and know that so many people have similar dreams, but dream literally left my in shock and shaking. To make matters worse, my mom dad and sister were in this dream too. So now its hard to even think of them, and im getting all these crazy existential thoughts. I cant never catch a break man, whether its awake or asleep. Im glad that i dont think the dream means much (which is realllyyy goood considering ive had dreams where im incredibly convinced that there coming true (they never do). But what really spooked me after was the fact i saw a cardinal (a VERY significant symbol im my life ever since my grandma passed) and im sure it could mean anything, plus its the morning, cardinals are always out. But i dont like the fact i had the dream and saw that, but maybe i shouldn’t think to muvh into it. Thoughts?

It’s unbelievable how isolating OCD can be. Lately I’ve just been really bumming out and feeling like nobody on this earth knows who I really am. It gets very tiring feeling like you have to act. I’ve put on a happy face for a very long time and it’s just exhausting. I’m thankful that this app exists and is a place where we can all share our thoughts and feelings and be heard. To anyone else out there suffering in silence, my heart goes out to you.

I’ve reached a point in existential ocd and “fear-of-psychosis-ocd” where I have a hard time believing in anything anymore. I have no more reassurance, I have no more logic to give this disease, it’s eaten up everything I have. Like when something scientific is explained to me it just feels so fake, almost like a lie or something. I used to be really bummed out about how meaningless everything is, like how we are just a floating rock in space and we are all just products of biology and science… but now I feel like I don’t even believe that! I’m just so suspicious of everything, nothing feels right anymore, nothing feels genuine or real. Whenever I watch the news, media, politics etc it all seems like a big act, or like an illusion. Even when I’m just looking at my cats or another person, im having weird thoughts running through my head like “well if nothing/nobody else is real, then what are they?” “Is everything some sort of government simulation?” “Something is wrong here” Etc. I can’t take anything seriously anymore, I used to LOVE history and science videos/documentaries but now I can’t even take them seriously because of these thoughts. I really really hate these thoughts and I try and fight with myself all day as to why I feel like this and try and logic my way out of these feelings but it just doesn’t work, no matter how many reasons I come up with for why I shouldn’t believe these thoughts, my brain will find a way to make me second guess it and not believe the reasoning. Even if i was shown undeniable evidence that the world is indeed real or whatever else my thoughts like to attack… I feel like I still wouldn’t believe them. What’s wrong with me? I don’t want to be delusional.

Hey everyone! I’m new here. I recently was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety, Depression and OCD ( Mixed obsessional Thoughts and Acts). I always knew something was wrong since I was younger. I was afraid to die by a natural disaster and obsessed with the weather. I remember being terrified that I had Cancer and my mom had to take me to the doctor several times and the doctor ran tests on me to prove I was okay. Over the past few years, my anxiety and worry has skyrocketed. Recently, I’ve had so much worry that sent me into a rabbit hole of googling and finding answers for my random thoughts. I worry so much that I’ve done something wrong or hurt someone. I will worry about one thing, let it go and worry about something else. Some of my thoughts keep me in the house. I recently started therapy and it has been helpful.

TW: Parent loss My OCD has spiked since losing my mom in March. Like my nesting is trying to find its new obsession to hold onto. Not sure how much more of this I’m going to take.

Hey everyone so the last to days I’ve been having a anxiety flare and my ocd has spiked so I was laying in bed this morning when I woke up and started thinking about how big the earth is and how the earth is round and I was thinking omg what if I got that stuck in my head and started getting dizzy and lost control. I’ve had this thought bother me before and it’s always been something that kinda terrified me about how big the earth is and how small we are. It’s impossible to control things around us and control what others do. It’s almost like I’m use to being in my little thought pattern and when something pops in and scares me I feel anxiety and panic and then I start to panic again because I’m scared of panic and losing control. I don’t know I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed the last day or two. I felt like I was making a lot of progress but my brain doesn’t want to shut off it’s always worrying and it gets so annoying between me getting things stuck in my head or feeling like I’m on the verge of panic and loosing control. Sorry I know this was a lot but I needed to vent because my brain has been boxing me in lately and it feels as if there’s no escape because something will always be causing me stress and giving me anxiety. On the bright side I know this will pass or maybe it won’t I’ll just have to except the uncertainty

This fear is very complex cause it comes from 2 extreme side, one being that the only thing you have to do to be saved is to believe in Christ and accept him as your saviour, and the other one is that it's not enough but it makes me spin then cause i feel like im not saved, cause i question many sins if they are really sins, and i feel like i do it to still act on it and its a way to speak myself into doing them so i dont feel bad about myself which is pride i think. But the first one makes me angry, cause people are abusing Jesus death. In my opinion the "Just accept Jesus and you're saved" view is false, yeah you dont have to do anything, but if it doesnt show up in your life that youre accepted Jesus, you're not saved... It makes me angry cause i see people who claims that are christians and they still act the same way as before, they still live in sin, and these people would say they are saved cause Jesus paid it all... thats abusing his sacrafice... There are things that are hard to leave like drug or alcohol addiction i understand, but its an excuse to still act on it cause Jesus already paid the price for future sins too... I even heard someone saying " a christian who is abusing at home like beating his wife and childrens, but he accepted Jesus in his heart he is saved" this is so wrong. This sounds like its made up just to make you feel better. Its like an excuse to still live by sin cause you will be im heaven cause you accepted Jesus. I just cant accept this view it sounds really wrong. I feel bad for those people, i feel bad that i judge them, but it still not right. Then its like we dont have to fight sin, just accept Jesus... But as a said the other side makes me go crazy, im afraid im not really saved cause i still question which sin is actually a sin. Im watching Mark Dejesus, he has good videos, but when he talks about feeling like everything is sin, he brings up things that are clear that arent sins like doing something you like, going for a hike, drawing, or i read that some thinks that taking a shower is a sin, or going to school. You can tell this is ocd, for me, im obsessing about the grey areas. About joking, watching scary things,saying bad words but not in a harmful way to others, just randomly say one if i accidentaly hit myself or something,thinking about sex(this was a big one) and with this i realized it might not be a sin cause how you educate yourself about sex? You have to think about it. It seems like its a sin when you do it to satisfy your feelings or youre thinking about someone else. But in a normal way, it seems like its not a sin. But im overthinking this too.

ive judt been really confused lately. I dont know who i am and ive been feeling really off. I was searching stuff up and saw that alot of my symptoms align with phycosis or schizophrenic im fucking terrified and im panicking i cant breathe please help

Fear of psychosis ocd… For about 10 months now I’ve had an OBSESSION with developing schizophrenia or some related psychotic disorder. In the beginning my symptoms manifested as hyper awareness of potentially hallucinating and things like that but the main fear that has really stuck is the fear of having delusions. I’ve reached a point to where I can’t enjoy anything in life any for because according to my brain EVERYTHING has to mean something or is suspicious. I’m so suspicious of everything, “what if this commercial means something” “why did that person make that weird face” “what if this song has some kind of hidden meaning” “everything feels so fake and staged” “why did my cat look at me like that” “what if none of this is even real” “what if there’s more to reality than what we know” “there’s no way other people are real humans” “there’s definitely more than what the government tells us about reality” “this can’t all just be science and biology” etc etc. it’s fucking exhausting. I can’t enjoy anything anymore, everything has to have some malevolent intent or meaning. These thoughts feel real, some of them feel like they could genuinely be possible, but I don’t want to think about this kind of stuff, I’m not sure if I even care if there’s something more to everything that I’m missing, but my brain will not stop this search for delusional things to believe. It’s gotten to a point where everything just feels fake and staged like a big act or illusion. Government, politics, media, just day to day life, feels so fake and artificial. It feels like I’m losing emotional attachment to things I love and care about because I’m constantly getting thoughts like “why should I care? Nothings real anyway?” Etc. Has anyone ever dealt with this?FYI: I’ve been to NUMEROUS mental health professionals who do not believe I have anything more than just ocd and severe hypochondria.

i posted this before but i’m freaking out rn has anyone else ever gotten intrusive thoughts telling you that right and wrong doesn’t exist and stuff? like, i get thoughts saying “murder isn’t wrong” “SA isn’t wrong” and i feel the need to prove it wrong so i ruminate and i do a bunch of compulsions because my worst fear is becoming amoral.. on top of that, i get thoughts telling me i shouldn’t fear losing my morals bc “they don’t even exist and it’s stupid” which hurts me even MORE. i posted here last night, i suffered because of a philosophy video i watched that triggered me so bad, saying morals aren’t objective and.. even typing that sucks for me because i get nervous. i don’t want to believe these things. my mind tells me these things and THEN i get terrible harm thoughts about animals, my family, friends. it then tells me that those thoughts aren’t wrong and doin those things aren’t wrong. i’ve been in pain for months and it gets better but as soon as it does it gets worse. i’ve been hiding the true nature of my obsessions but i cant anymore because i feaR these thoughts.. i even didn’t tell my therapist because i’m embarrassed.. nobody else seems to have these thoughts and when they do, it’s a bad outcome. i don’t know what to do