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My OCD seems to take things way too literally and make reason out of everything. I’ll see something that sort of relates to the topic of my OCD and think it’s a sign that applies to me and think “well if it’s not true why did I see that then”. Lately I’ve been struggling with the fact that “everything happens for a reason”. I am a Christian and cherish my relationship with God very much. Because everything happens for a reason, does this mean that every time I see something related to my OCD God wants me to have these thoughts? I suffer with false memory OCD. Are these signs God telling me I actually did do something bad in my past or is this just OCD playing tricks on me. I’m just really confused because I know God does create coincidence. So am I seeing these things because I did something bad? Ugh OCD is so hard. I just feel like my brain is in a big scramble and I just can’t seem to make sense out of reality. My thoughts feel so real

I just read a post that brought me a great deal of anxiety and I honestly don’t know what to do. It had to do with lesbians not knowing they were lesbians until later in life bc they didn’t want to like the idea or bc of social norms. I didn’t even know this was a possibility but now that I do I already know it’s something that isn’t going to leave my head. Any advice? I really thought I was getting a little bit of a hang of this but now I feel like this is me and I just have to accept it

Today my friend was texting me about her sleep disorder and I felt bad because I literally had nothing to say about it, but I didn’t wanna come off as a bitch so I just told her that it’s not her fault that she feels that way and I asked her if there was any medicine that could help. Then because I didn’t have empathy in that moment, I am worried that the only reason why I show people care and try to do nice things for people is because I want to be seen as a good person. Think it was because I’ve been through a lot of stuff and I would never wanna make anyone feel how my mom made me feel but now not so sure.

This sounds insane bc ocd causes so much pain in my life, but it's almost like I'm scared to let it go?? Idk if that's ocd trying to cling on for dear life or if it's me. Logically I don't want to feel horrible bc of ocd forever but what kind of weird thought of "what if you actually want ocd forever?" ?!

I've probably been worse than this before, but there are times at the moment I fear for my sanity. I calm myself down, but it's so easy to get myself in state that I'm constantly on edge and can't relax. I recently had a routine cancer test come back negative, and I actually wish at times it had been positive so I could just say goodbye to loved ones and then die quietly - whilst still myself. I know the reality would be nothing like that, as I've seen first-hand what cancer does, but I'm tired and emotional. Still on waiting list for counselling at local practice. Just want to feel normal again.

I wish I was a normal teenager with normal feelings and normal emotions why do I have to feel every emotional so ugly why is my brain broken I just want to be normal and laugh about stupid crap go travel do good in college whatever I’m gonna be at my last year of being a teenager soon and. Feel like I wasted what could’ve been good years of my life What stories of me being a teenager am I going to tell my kids in the future when it’s all filled with horrible sad things sorry just needed to vent

I have a fear of losing control, and a fear of schizophrenia. so when I feel tired or fatigue or just any emotion really I think it’s a sign I’m going to lose control and then it makes me so anxious to the point I have a panic attack over the feeling of feeling tired. Anytime I feel a change in my body I take that as a sign I’m going to go insane? which makes me feel more anxious and makes it feel more real! Does anyone else feel like this or have any advice:( currently feeling weird and so anxious all cause I feel sleepy/ tired. It’s exhausting

I mean like we believe in the devil and demons, then you hear that others on social media talks about ocd being a demon possession, or any mental illness being a demon, and if you believe that and it helps you, do it, but this makes me more paranoid. I just let my tiktok algoritm become more christian but then it ended up being this "we call everything a sin and a demon" type of videos which made me question if im really a good person and saved, and now im even afraid of demons, that they are attacking me and thats why im dealing with fear, and it just scares me, it became so bad that i start to get paranoid like im sure you experienced that when you think youve seen something in the corner of your eye, like something moved, and this just worsenes the fear... i know im dealing with fear but you know my mind still makes up shit... As a christian its really hard to deal with ocd, cause we do believe in demons but we cant view mental illness as possession, it just doesnt help, and i got to a point where i started questioning everything i hear about the bible and then i realized maybe its not a good thing tho, so i started to learn about things and now im back at fearing demons and that i have a demon or i can be posessed in the future. Same with sins, legalist people made me angry so i just ignored everything they said but then i realized maybe its egoistic to think everything they say its just legalism, and i went back learning about it and now im having this legalist/is this a sin or not problem. It feels like im on a spiral, i always come back to fear demons and fear that what i do is actually a sin and i live a sinful life

I'm trying so hard to make progress with my ocd, and I have an awesome therapist who is helping me make more progress than I have in a long time, but life keeps giving me big helpings of stress, worry, frustration, and emotional turmoil. Today's helping is, my father took a fall today and is in the hospital with a fractured hip. My parents are older and their health is facing challenges, as it does for older people. I am not prepared to deal with this. My parents live 2 hours away from my, and my ocd has made it impossible for me to get to see them this past year. I know my time with my parents is limited, and my ocd mind f's are keeping me for making the most of the time I have with them. I can't begin to explain how much I want to curse the stars or whatever it is that has this pile of misery it keeps dumping on me. I'm really sick of life tormenting me.

Been diagnosed with ocd since I was 12. I’m 26 now. I’ve had many themes but this one won’t give I get repetitive thoughts of “what’s the point if we die” anything I do.. my brain goes “why you doing this what’s the point” if I see something fun I wanna do my brain goes “what’s the point”. I don’t consider myself depressed but maybe I am? Is this depression? These thoughts give me immense anxiety. I feel isolated and scared. I honestly feel like there’s no way out. Like I discovered something I can’t undiscover. I know this is super weird guyss. It’s super distressing for me. Is this existential one or something more? What if there is no cure to this? I’m so scared guys. I’m graduating nursing school in 20 days and I’m having a hard time trying to be happy with these thoughts.

There’s times where I just wanna escape from reality . So I tried smoking marijuana and I didn’t even smoke alot . And 4 days later after smoking , I feel very odd. Like something is wrong with me and I’m worried I’m going to be stuck like this forever . I don’t know what to do and I’m so scared . I can’t sleep , I can’t relax , my whole body is tensed up. I’m afraid . I don’t know what to do anymore

I had my first real severe OCD flare up almost two weeks ago and it scared the living crap out of me (intrusive thoughts). At the time I had no idea what it was and it was causing insane anxiety and panic attacks. After a bit of research and reaching out to numerous professionals for help with anxiety, I then learned it was OCD. I had a pretty bad week and then started to feel better. The thoughts were still there but I felt like I was learning / understanding how to just not fall victim to them. Now today, I had what I felt like was a bad day. Had what I think was a derealization type episode. Horrified it was going to turn me into someone else. I can’t even explain. I calmed down, but ever since it happened I’ve had ocd on loop about how that specific event happened and what could happen next time if it does happen again. Im truly scared for it to happen again. I was stuck in a loop for hours. Then now just all of the sudden I feel ok. Like a moment of clarity that I know what all of it was. Like I know it was the ocd. And that I’ll handle it better next time. And that I’ll be ok. But then my brain tries to tell me I have more than ocd. That I’m actually losing it. Has anyone experienced these moments before? I know people have good days and bad days but has anyone wone had days where they feel like it’s unbearable but then a couple hours later feel like you have your mind and rational back? Or should I actually be concerned there’s something else going on here? I meet with my therapist on Friday and will fill her in on all this, even though it’s only my second session with her, but just wanted to see if anyone could relate.

Is there a correlation between a hormone imbalance and ocd? I have low testosterone and ocd and didn't know if there may be a link between the two. I'm just trying to figure out why I have ocd, how long I've had it, and when it might have started. I've been suffering for years now but was told it was bipolar disorder (early 2000s) since I was in high school (I'm 37 now). It wasn't until this last year that I was diagnosed with ocd and never was bipolar to begin with. I still can't believe I have ocd. I always thought that those were people who panicked about germs and washed their hands way to much. I've always had bizarre and intrusive thoughts but I just thought that's the way I was. I'm just trying to figure out a link or if it's something I've had since birth.

I'm tired of life

Hey guys! I’ve been struggling with constant anxiety and rumination for a few weeks now really it’s been longer than that but I was still working so I was able to get my mind off of it for a little bit. Now I’m waiting to start my new job Monday and have been home alone just ruminating. This theme is that I’m going crazy and need to check myself in somewhere and my thoughts are confusing and don’t make sense sometimes. Idk how to stop it. I haven’t done erp in a few years due to finances. I just want time be able to calm down again. From the time I open my eyes until I can finally get to sleep I’m having panic attack thoughts without the physical racing heart and stuff. Has anyone else experienced this? If so what did you do to help it? I’m not on medication.

Interview of some sort I’m doing an art project and I am going to need you to answer a few questions: 1. What’s your imaginary world ? 2. What’s the difference between imaginary and your reality world ? 3. Are you unsatisfied with your reality ? 4. How do you cope with your reality?

im about to give up. im struggling and nothing helps.i dont wanna be here anymore with these thoughts and fears.

Does anyone ever worry that they’re inherently a bad person just waiting to do something horrific?

Does anyone else ever question if/doubt that their feelings are real? I've been doing that near constantly for a long time now, and it causes a LOT of distress (at least I THINK it's distress). Lately when I feel spiritual and read my scriptures, pray, or watch a religious message, or get the urge to, my brain says, "What if you're only doing this out of compulsion, not cuz you really want to?? What if your spiritual feelings are fake?" It hurts a lot to feel that way. Years ago my OCD was causing me to do insane scrupulous rituals, and in the aftermath, my concept of OCD rituals and healthy, spiritually uplifting rituals got crossed. :/ Like, "Is that the Holy Ghost or are you just being mentally ill again?" There are other feelings that my brains doubts, but spiritual ones are the most distressing.

Anyone else get so deep into the OCD cycle that they can barely disprove the thoughts anymore? Compulsions don’t even help me anymore. I have no relief. I have been thinking about taking my life every day and have no will to live anymore. I can’t see my future, have no idea what life is anymore. I look in the mirror and have a panic attack because I feel like I don’t know the person looking back at me.